Remember that time when Texas turned into Kansas? And all the tornado sirens were going off? And we thought we were going to get transported to Oz? And then we said fuck it and kept playing quiz anyway? That was the right answer- your perseverance prevented a catastrophe and redirected that shit to Granbury.  Personally, I wouldn’t mind if Granbury was relocated to Kansas anyway.  We could do without it.

The first question of the night lead to some made up hockey teams, which is acceptable because hockey is not a real sport and I don’t expect any of you to know anything about it.  Tons of jokering on round 2 except one notable team: RamRod, who despite having a terrible team name pulled a 14 and decided not to joker.  They saved that bad boy for round 8.  Where they scored a 9.  That’s what I call a winning play. Speaking of winning, El Centro played one and only one round (the music one), jokered it, and was in the idle of the pack for a significant amount of the quiz.

Since We’re Forever Yours… Faithfully cheated on me last week, I, playing the scorned lover, found Kiernan and let him rock the subreddit round.  A lot of you didn’t know what a reddit is.  Really? Remember all those hipster 20 somethings that used to play on the couches who were ambiguously bi curious and unambiguously fucking each other like rabbits in a Big Brother ‘we can’t reveal the secrets of the house’ sorta way? THOSE were redditors.  They talk about shit.  All the time.  Best strategy in this round was to just go all in on ‘real’ for all 8 questions, which would have netted you a cool 6 points.  Congrats to Your Mom Has the Whitest Teeth I’ve Ever Come Across for rocking that strategy.

Spit in My Mouth I’m sure would rather spit in the face of The Step Down than lose by one song title, but alas, it happened.  The team that cheated on me came back to finish a solid third and Lowest Common Denominator won a half and half for best quality score (total points divided by members on the team, which is 1).

I’m Sure I Could Hide These Announcements Somewhere on Reddit:

• Please acknowledge that we are all about the Facebooks- like the national page or the DFW page.  I hear every time you like the page, an angel gets its wings.  Every time you don’t a puppy dies.
• Winter is coming and so is the Game of Thrones Quiz: Saturday June 8 to West End Pub. Quiz starts at 7:30pm and it’s a pay for play.
• Remember, there is poker every Monday at the West End Pub at 7pm. Free to play, even freer if you win, cause you get 50 bucks.
• Quiz for a Cause- Texas Forensic Association edition comes to Nodding Donkey on June 11.  Check out the deets.
• Please click on the like button.  I get paid based on the number of likes.  And I’m really poor. 

Because all of you are delicate little flowers, I offer this unique, individualized commentary on each of you.

Anal Sweeps- sure, you won.  You butt spanked the whole quiz.  But I can’t help but notice that your scores got higher and higher as more people joined your party.  You went from thinking that the Jauggernaut (your spelling, not mine) was really fat to being able to identify Caribbean capitals.  Clearly, more heads are better than few.

Cleveland Rox- Something happened to you that made the scores get noticeably smaller in the later rounds.  What could it be? Oh, yeah, you got drunk. The king that survived the Trojan War was Burger King? Really? And New Orleans wasn’t a part of the US at the time of the Revolutionary War.  But hey, at least you’re hot.

Neighborhood Sex Offenders- I appreciate your increasingly Spanish attempts at a name.  I also appreciate that you kept writing down two answers, scratching one out, and leaving the wrong answer behind. 

Spit in My Mouth- You got the top score on the round of random crap.  You got the worst score on the round I wrote about treaties.  I don’t mean it was your lowest score (though it was), I mean you got the lowest score in the bar.  Arizona in 1819? Really? And who the fuck has ever heard of the Yellow army? It was a Russia question, not China.

Hung Like David Carradine- The thing I love most about you guys is that you come in three fun sizes.  I also love that you came all the way from Fort Worth.  And now that you have a $20 gift card, you have to come back.

Here’s a Fast Sign For You: Suck My Balls- You were the only team to nail Frontera in round 5.  You also blew shit and died in round 8, after being in the hunt to win the quiz all night.  Dave, I love you. Emily, you’re fabulous.  The rest of you are also certainly here, but you burned this quiz up.  I mean y’all were on fire most of the night. Am I right?  PS- there’s an extra round of the quiz I didn’t tell you about that got read at midnight at my house and you scored a 0 on it.

Things That Make You Go Eh- I highly suggest reading the news.  Reading the news will make your life much better.  Read something: maybe a history book? Maybe about fat guys? I don’t know, just read.

Does everyone feel special now? Do you feel validated? Everyone got a shout out.  Except bonk! Fuck you guys.

You’re Such Good People, I’m Sure You’ll Read These Announcements:

• Please acknowledge that we are all about the Facebooks- like the national page or the DFW page.  I hear every time you like the page, an angel gets its wings.  Every time you don’t a puppy dies.
• Winter is coming and so is the Game of Thrones Quiz: Saturday June 8 to West End Pub.
• Quiz for a Cause- Texas Forensic Association edition comes to Nodding Donkey on June 11.  Check out the deets.
• Please click on the like button.  I get paid based on the number of likes.  And I’m really poor. 

Few quizzes compile the right combination of gay and nerd that makes my cold dead heart go pitter patter, but this was a quiz to remember. Our Get the Fuck Out brought back many a memory of many an awesome breakup.

Sooner or Later featured musicals where I subjected you to the songs from Book of Mormon.  Here we learned that Dusty has never seen Rocky Horror Picture Show, which prompted Amira to perform a full reenactment on her own.  It was impressive, and also caused a two hour quiz delay.

This is where the blog gets disturbing: we had a round on butt sex.  That’s not disturbing.  Using butter as lube is not disturbing.  A friend of mine once used saran wrap as a condom. Also not disturbing.  What is disturbing is knowing that your MOM knows more about butt sex than you do, and that you didn’t trust her judgment.  2 points you missed because you thought she didn't know her way around the brown eye.  She knows the pole, no ifs ands or butts (HA!) about it. 

Round 7’s dorkfest on video game start up sounds brought a wide range of scores from 0 to 7. Did anyone own a dreamcast? Shame on you.

Spit in my Mouth went on an epic run with only some minor faltering in round 8, easily taking home the top prize.  A solid second place finish for Just Ellen in a Mesh Tank Top with #SMH finishing in third.

Put the butter down and read these announcements:

• Please acknowledge that we are all about the Facebooks- like the national page or the DFW page.  I hear every time you like the page, an angel gets its wings.  Every time you don’t a puppy dies.
• Remember, poker every Monday.  Starts at 7pm. Win $50.
• Winter is Coming- The Game of Thrones Quiz comes to West End Pub 7:30pm on Saturday, June 8.
• Quiz for a Cause- Texas Forensic Association edition comes to Nodding Donkey Uptown on June 11.  Check out the deets.
• Please click on the like button.  I get paid based on the number of likes.  And I’m really poor. 

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