Harpo's Sports Grill
2860 Arapahoe Ave
Boulder, CO 80303
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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First off, shout out to Official Scorekeep Biv™! She is now a bonafide professor, teaching people how to think in ivory towers and such. Get you some, Biv! Congrats.
Shout out to Smoked, Fried, and Your Mama’s So Fat, She Give The Higgs Boson Mass for making us goggle like schoolchildren every time.
I particularly enjoyed the patron saint round, mainly because I enjoy screaming “Protect me now, Saint Magnus of Füssen!” every time I see a caterpillar. You are hereby encouraged to find your patron saint of choice here.
Let’s see what we learned, shall we?
- There was a Starship sighting at quiz. Not technically Jefferson Starship and definitely not Jefferson Airplane, though. Since we graded that one harshly, here are “We Built This City” AND “Sara” for your mind-blowing enjoyment. You’re very welcome.
- Nobody knew any of the Miami landmarks. This is probably because everyone in their right mind actively tries to repress any knowledge of Florida.
- Apparently, the sting of Heath Ledger’s tragic loss has still not worn off for many of you. I think I speak for all of us when I say I would’ve done the same thing if I had to share my drugs with the Olsen twins.*
- Banks are assholes, amirite?
- Excuse me, stewardess. I speak jive.
This week in listicles, Brad, Nirvan, and co. were inspired by the mass marketing of fetish erotica. I’ve read six of these already:
- 50 Sharts of Brown (scat fetish)
- 50 Strokes of Pink (happy endings)
- 50 Snorts of White (high on coke)
- 50 Shlongs of Chocolate (50 big black men, 1 female > bukkake)
- 50 Sheets of Yellow (teenage Michael Landon)
- 50 Shoots of Green (Keynesian stimulus)
- 50 Stumps (amputees)
- 50 Squirts of Redwings (uh... redwings)
That’s it for us. Take care of yourselves and take care of one another out there. Join us next time when we discuss how awesome it is that Katie Holmes was using “burners” to plot her divorce from Maverick!
(*Biv has informed me that it was only Mary Kate Olsen dabbling in Heath Ledger’s prescription stash. I apologize to Ashley Olsen for the confusion.)