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What is this, some kind of joke? The shenanigans started early last night at this, the greatest pub quiz on Earth. Halfway into R1, I heard a great hullabaloo towards the back of the room. Curious, I asked if the Pope had just walked in. I was told the young man standing over a certain table and getting lauded by his friends was named Benedict. Right on. Furthermore, I’m told that Benedict’s birthday was being celebrated, so I told him to sit down and to prepare to be properly embarrassed later (and we did). Yes, folks, it wasn’t until a later round that I realized that his name was Benedict and that I had unknowingly called him the Pope. I make funny and I don’t even realize it sometimes. That’s how clueless AWESOME your QM is! Additionally, it appears as if the Pope’s friends quite enjoy drawing penii, as you can tell by the photos at left. So, there’s that. Now, here’s this... THE RECAP!!!
Round 1: Countdown to Pub Quiz – Okay, so maybe I could have explained the theme of the quiz a little better; a couple of teams thought I was starting with Q8 and would end with Q1. Silly gooses...
Round 2: Yes, We’re that Immature – Okay, so I think it’s safe to say that we’re all probably better off for not having heard the clip from Toby Keith’s “Red Solo Cup” anyway, am I right? I actually think I figured out why we couldn’t hear it through the speakers and I’ll take mental note of that for the future. Regardless, if you didn’t catch what each of the clips were saying here they are:
“Let’s have a... ass... party!”
“I ride... you... all night!”
“And I slap her... ass!”
“Suckin’ on... a lil’ titty...” (Of course, it’s supposed to be “little ditty,” but it sounds awfully close!)
“Feelin’ that... white boy’s... behind...”
“And all the other boys... blowin’... you...”
“Kissin’ your sweet little... pussy... lips...”
“Don’t touch... my... taint!” (which seemed to be the crowd favorite. Sickos.)
Round 3: Duh... Right? – “Aguacate...” Oh, yeah...
Round 4: The Lost Round – I HEART FUTURAMA!!!
Round 5: Mario Invaders – “Gay Mario...” You guys are funny...
Round 6: Drat! Foiled Again! – I weep for “Heroes,” but “TMNT” will live on forever... no matter what bullshit Michael Bay might do to their origin story.
Round 7: (Video Round) Crybabies – YAY, the video worked! We got to do stupid things like “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!?” and “I’VE GOT NOWHERE ELSE TAH GO!!!” and watch Will Ferrell cry like a little bitch! Hilarious! And, fuck all the haters, I liked “Armageddon.”
Round 8: Random Knowledge – CINNAMON TINGLE!!!
Winners’ Circle – A hard-fought battle between first and second place; only TWO points separated them! Between second and third... mmm... not so much. ;) But, congratulations anyway!
Third place: Team I’ll Buy Anything Shiny If It’s From Apple! – You’d better believe it... if I had the money. You know how they say “youth is wasted on the young?” Well, I say wealth is wasted on the old.
Second place: Team I Vote for Gerry the Quizmaster! YAY! – Another team name I wasn’t happy with, so I changed it to something a little more me-centric. I know, totally out of chararcter for me, right? Anyway, the original team name had that lame-ass “Mike Hock” joke in there, and I’m not havin’ that shit anymore either! Try harder next week, boys!
First place: Team Honey Boo Boo Don’t Give a Shit! – I don’t watch the show, but the morning show I listen to has been doing recaps of each episode and, from what I can tell, that’s a true statement. WOW, that family is bad on all levels!
Your email bonus question winner this week was... Krystyn! Yes, that “Krystyn.” Two “y’s” Krystyn. She got herself a zombie sleep mask, and don’t she look just SO cute in it!
I’m going to rearrange these links so that they say something dirty, too! And, when you have a second, hit that “Like” button above, would ya?
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That’s it for this week, guys! Thanks for coming out, thanks to everyone at Durty Nelly’s! Swing by this weekend for karaoke with Kevin Cable on Friday AND Saturday! That’s right, he’s the hardest working man in “empty orchestras,” and trust me when I tell you that his show ROCKS!!! So, until next week...