It was a night of presidents at the Royal Hilltop, and a night of lady rockers.  Those who knew their American and rock histories wound up on top.

Early on, the room overcame an obnoxiously drunk d-bag at the bar who couldn’t shut up if he had a vagina in his mouth.  After he was triumphantly vanquished, the quiz commenced in peace…until he decided to return to the bar.  Once again, we had to organize and banish the drunken jerkweed back to the garden from whence he came.

Amidst all the loud, out-of-context yelling, we had three (count ‘em, three) rounds tonight worth 16 points, and the teams took advantage of them in different ways.  However, all
three of the top finishers used their joker on round three, the round on female rockers.  Perfectly sharp, Chick & a dick, and  Darth motherfucker can all claim Blondie helped them long after her career’s sorrow-filled demise.

I gave away the She’s a tasty dish commemorative plate to Jeff for the internet bonus prize.  Now you and your “roommate” can set your dirty spoons on a hot little dish.  Rawr!

In the end, we learned that women will always win over men because women have boobs, and men have a weakness for boobs.  See you next time, when I’ll show off my brand-new breast implants!

Welcome back to another fun-filled blog from the Royal Hilltop. 

Tonight we learned that a quizling is just a friend you haven’t met. 

We also learned that, if you don’t know the answer, there’s always “Eddie’s Mom”. 

Boners of the elderly took a commanding lead in the second round and never looked back.  They grabbed a hold of first place and didn’t let go, finishing at the top of the leader board.

Epic dream machine was firmly imbedded in second place for the entire night as well. 
They also promised to author my REM tonight, so I’m looking forward to that.

Two pickles, one oyster was actually joined by a second oyster, evening out the pickles to oyster ratio by the end of the night, and walking home with third place while they were at it.

I gave away the internet bonus prize, Reboot Charm to Leslie, because she put a zombie pig on her answer and I couldn’t say no.  Congrats, Leslie!

For the record, my mother is a saint, ya hear me!? A SAINT!  Also, Colorado kicks way
more ass than Arkansas.  Anyone who’s ever been to both can attest to that.

See you next time, where I’ll gleam my own cube right before I scarf on some grindage.

This legalized pot thing is way over rated folks.  We voted for it months ago, discussions are still looming over the whole shebang, and in the meantime, we are attracting a whole new element to our lovely surroundings.  One such element is Uncle Jimmy.  My Uncle Jimmy is from Louisville, KY.  We speak to him rarely; the fact that we think he killed his wife with an “accidental” drug overdose a few Thanksgivings back being only a minor item on the list of reasons.  He just isn’t on my day to day radar.  But, Colorado has definitely been on HIS radar since last November, and as soon as he saves enough money to get his pickup truck full of belongings out of the trailer park he will be heading our way.  Because, surely, we Coloradans need ANOTHER place to potentially buy marijuana.  I know that I don’t feel like my options are all that numerous.  And, surely, Colorado will be providing cheap housing to those who are bringing in revenue in this new business venture that is just taking off. 

I voted to legalize it too- I could care less about those who smoke it, buy it, or sell it.  But we already have guys clamoring for your pot business in the park right in front of our capitol building- and I would hate to add Uncle Jimmy’s street corner stand to that mix.  I can only hope for his sake that there is some kind of magical Kentucky strain of maryjane that he can bring along with him, to help diversify and differentiate himself from the competition.

One good thing about pot?  It keeps the quizzers nice and quiet!  That is the only explanation I have for 16 or so teams filling up the Royal Hilltop on the 20^th of April and me not having to repeat all the questions or yell over the mic.  It was a beautiful thing.  You could hear a pin drop during the reading of rounds on binary and state names, and we all got a clear dose of racism (fun racism though, not that unfun kind) for our audio fix.  So stay stoned little quizzers!  I will be sure to bring some Kentucky “bluegrass” samples next time I stop by.

• Brendan's 404 - Denver 7:30 PM
• Goosetown Tavern - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Mayor of Old Town - Fort Collins 8:00 PM
• Bruno's Tavern - New Orleans 7:00 PM
• White Horse Tavern - Allston 8:00 PM
• The First Printer - Cambridge 7:30 PM
• O'Niell's Pub - Albuquerque 8:00 PM
• O'Possum's Pub - Murfreesboro 8:00 PM
• Black Star Co-Op - Austin 8:00 PM
• El Mercado - Austin 7:30 PM
• Strange Brew - Austin 7:00 PM
• Zio Carlo Magnolia Brew Pub - Fort Worth 7:00 PM
• Piper Down - Salt Lake City 7:30 PM
• Quarter Lounge - Seattle 8:00 PM
• Capital Tap Haus - Madison 7:00 PM