The Cheeky Monk
14694 Orchard Parkway
Westminster, CO 80023
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I’m not talking about the kind of mash-up when it’s 100+ degrees outside and your balls stick to the inside of your thigh like Velcro… very, very sweaty Velcro. No, I’m referring to the act of mashing one musical artist with another to create an annoying piece of shit song. You have to be very careful when creating a mash-up. The consequences can be disastrous. It is not unlike crossing the streams in Ghostbusters. Imagine mixing Justin Bieber with Daughtry (or Nickelback, or Creed, or ICP, or Britney Spears… it doesn’t matter. There is so much shitty music to choose from). Where was I? Oh, yeah. So, Justin Bieber with Daughtry, for example, would cause the entire multiverse to turn inside out. It wouldn’t just destroy our world, but the infinite other worlds out there in the cosmos. Neil deGrasse Tyson would be so pissed!
Sorry for the lecture. Here’s the stuff you came for: First place went to No Penetration without Proper Training, once again. They totaled 86 points by the end of the night. Most impressive! Second place went to Vote 4 Pedro. Yeah, it’s reelection time and Pedro needs your vote again. Much better choice than OBOMNEY, amIright?*
*on Facebook, unfriend the next person who posts that stupid photo combining Obama’s with Romney’s face. You have my permission.
Quizlights (Quiz and Highlights combined… you know?):
Round one was all about memorable events that occurred between 2000 and 2009. Because we didn’t want to bum everyone out, we skipped over the later months of 2001 altogether. In 2006, Harry Whittington apologized after being shot in the face by Dick Cheney. “Apology NOT excepted, asshole.”
The third round taught us that the last nine presidents were born in nine different states. Obama was born in Hawaii, but since when has Hawaii been a real state? I mean, come on! Romney, on the other hand, is not human. Where in the Constitution does it say that a cyborg can be elected president?
During the super-romantic couple hood round, it was stated that a few musical artists romanticized Bonnie & Clyde through the majesty of song. Very romantic. “Baby, I love you so much that I hope we go on a bank robbing/killing spree and then die in a hail of gunfire.”
And round eight reaffirmed that it is very fun to say: Netanyahu.
I’m still working on my Netanyahu Serious comedy.
And I’m done. See you all next week. Don’t forget to like Geeks Who Drink at The Cheeky Monk on Facebook by either going here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Geeks-Who-Drink-at-The-Cheeky-Monk/437044382982592
Or just search for it yourself. I can’t do everything for you guys. Adios!