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Bumsted's
500 N 4th Avenue
Tucson, AZ 85705
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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12:28 AM, July 06, 2012
Scores
Cock Blockers of Catan 70

Pretty Ponies 64

Quiz On My Face 64

Feel Better, April! 58

The Biggs Bosom: The Particle That Gives Breast Mass 56

The Guild of Calamitous Intent 55

Say It Ain't So Matlock 53

blank 52

Ron's Winning Dance 44

The 13 18's 36

The Fabulous Amazings 23

Jean-Luc


Web

Quiz Schedule
Thursdays 8PM @ Bumsted's at 500 N. 4th Ave.,Tucson, AZ, (NE corner of 6th St. & 4th Ave.)
Julio (Jean-Luc)

If there is one thing you must know about Jean-Luc (or "Julio" for those of you feeling saucy) it is that he loves scotch sours. Doesn't matter what kind of scotch goes into the sour, be it well scotch, Glenlivet, or Laphroaig. Because when he drinks it neat, he only drinks Talisker 18 year. Why is he telling you this? So you can buy him a scotch sour. He has no shame. But know this. Your buying him a scotch won't get you any free points for the night. But it will help him remember your name the following morning.

Originally a native from Los Angeles (Go Dodgers!), Jean-Luc has been living in Tucson close to four years. Love, not a desire to drive down property values, brought him here. And when he's not complaining about the heat, he's complaining about the cold. But he doesn't complain often, except when Ned Colletti makes a horrible trade or a questionable signing. Yes, he enjoys baseball. But he loathes the San Francisco Giants. More than he does gin and tonics.

This is the part of the bio where he lists favorites - favorite films, favorite musical artists, favorite books. After you gloss over the list, somehow you are supposed to know more about him than you did before. Though he doubts that. If you really want to get to know your quizmaster, just approach him. Talk to him. He's the one behind the microphone, mispronouncing words and making awful jokes that fall flat. He doesn't bite. Unless you want him to.

As promised, his favorites (which constantly change)!

Books:

  • Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
  • The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
  • The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein
  • 20 Poemas de Amor y Una Cancion Desesperada by Pablo Neruda
  • San Manuel Bueno, martir by Miguel de Unamuno

Music Artists:

  • Wire
  • The Ex
  • Tito Puente
  • Parliament/Funkadelic
  • Fugazi

Films:

  • Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • Night of the Living Dead (1968)
  • Viridiana
  • Bicycle Thieves
  • Die Hard

Amid rounds on Fourplay, Sex, and the Inevitable Cleanup, Winnie the Pooh and friends bunkered down in round 3, unsure of what had surrounded them. Little did Roo and Piglet know that they were only 26 rules away from sick, twisted depravity, depravity that has befallen the likes of the Mythbusters, Star Wars AT-ATs, and even Inspector Gadget. Oh, childhood innocence. What has the internet done to you!? I recall a time when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were just that. And now...now they're the Gangbang April Ninja Turtles. My eyes. My eyes.

Undoubtedly, after reading that paragraph, your curiosity has gotten to you. You've typed in "Rule 34 Winnie the Pooh" into your Google search bar. Your finger is lingering over the mousepad, the arrow hovering over the "Google Search" button. Don't do it. Step away. Please, I beg you. Then you hear something outside. A stray cat running into a bush. The sound startles you, causing your finger to twitch and press onto the mousepad. Your eyes widen. Google Images returns results you regret having thought about viewing. Rabbit, no, no, no. What are you doing to Pooh? Your eyes cannot unsee this. Frantically, you close the browser. You sit on the couch and try to laugh at what transpired. But it doesn't help. Nothing you think about does. Nothing can rid those images from your mind.

Inside, a little piece of you has died. Eeyore and Christopher Robin weep alongside you (though that damn donkey is always weeping, to be fair). Get used to that feeling. It's called adulthood, a culmination of adult disappointments caused by the realization that your childhood wasn't so innocent. Similar to the time you were greeted by an old flasher inside a Burger King restroom. And that only happened yesterday. Really, you should knock before stepping into a public restroom. Come to think of it, that was your own damn fault.