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British Bulldog
2052 Stout St.
Denver, CO 80205
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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9:56 AM, July 10, 2012
Scores
The Piccadilly Twitz 80
Oregon is for Losers 78
3 Men & a Little Katie 78
No Means Yes 72
Who needs a dick like Nik 71
The Tough Titties 70
Total Eclipse of the Hart 65
The Terrible Tongue Twisting Tricksters Tweet "Tootle-oo" 64
Please god don't leave us, you dick 62
The "B" Cups 61
Up with Trivia 48
Jesus & a Nine-year old 44
Sex Panthers 43
Pauly Shore's Fanclub! 36
Going Out In Style
Gryffindork


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Quiz Schedule
Currently homeless in Oregon 		Jason (Gryffindork)

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize. He would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds...pretty standard, really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum; it's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

I love the British Bulldog. I auditioned there for Geeks (I killed it, of course). Then I trained at the Bulldog with the last quizmaster, Krista, who was very nice and showed me the ropes (along with Kent, Bulldog regular, who trained me at Moe’s BBQ). And when Krista needed a last minute sub, I was happy to step in and help out, especially since it meant my very first quiz as a QM would be at the Bulldog. And when Krista said she’d be leaving Geeks, I jumped at the chance to weasel my way into her good graces, as well as those of the higher ups at Geeks who make those kinds of decisions.

I know a good thing when I see it. Best decision I ever made (with apologies to my wife).

Yes, the Bulldog and I have history, so it’s only right that my last quiz as quizmaster (at least for the foreseeable future) be at the Bulldog as well. We had the usual regulars, some regulars who hadn’t shown up in a while, and even a team from my other venue, not to mention some new smiling faces in the crowd. Even some of my fellow QMs showed up. Everyone was enthusiastic and eager for some quiz.

And man, what a great quiz! A round on weird sports traditions, a super hero Say When round, a Rangefinder history round, and a round on shitty literature…it’s almost as if I made the quiz! And, never one to disappoint, you guys made sure we ended with a tie-breaker, in which I tasked you with drawing a picture of me moving using a bizarre form of transport.

This has me riding a dragon that’s riding a Segway. Very cool.

And, just slightly cooler, this is me riding a tauntaun about to get into a TARDIS. The clincher: I’m holding a copy of Infinite Jest.

As much as I hate to go out with a sappy blog rather than my (semi-) usual witty stuff, it can’t be helped. It’s truly been a blast being your quizmaster and hanging out with you guys on Mondays (or Wednesdays). Like I said last night, make sure to come through next week and start Mike’s tenure off right! And take care of the place for me. Don’t burn that shit down or anything, as I’d like to come back and visit at some point. Thanks for coming out and making my last quiz a memorable one, and for making my time as your quizmaster so very damn enjoyable! I appreciate it, ladies and gents!

Oh, and if a blog from me relatively devoid of humor just does not compute, I have a peace offering: here’s video of me doing karaoke after many shots of whiskey. That outta hold you for a while.

 

Track List:

Bon Jovi – Shot Through the Heart

Some Worries – Getting’ Rid of Britta

B.o.B. – Magic

AC/DC – Highway To Hell

Ike & Tina Turner – Sexy Ida (Part 1)

B-Rock & The Bizz – My Baby Daddy

Dead Prez – Radio Freq

The Sex Pistols – Anarchy In the UK

Bad Religion – Stranger Than Fiction

Dr. Horrible Cast – Bad Horse Chorus

Richard Cheese – My Neck, My Back

The Coasters – Smokey Joe’s Café

The Misfits – Last Caress

Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe

Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up

The Dan Band – Total Eclipse of the Heart

Dr. Dre – Nuthin’ But a “G” Thang

The Misfits – Skulls

The Cult – Lil’ Devil

The Chords – Sh-Boom

Jay-Z vs. Flight of the Conchords – Hola’ Hovito vs. The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)

The Black Keys – Lonely Boy

Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock – It Takes Two

The Misfits – Hollywood Babylon

 

The Rundown

Round 1: Fifteen Yards For Excessive Celebration

High Score: 8 (achieved by The Tough Titties and The Terrible Tongue Twisting Tricksters Tweet “Tootle-oo”) 

Average Score: 6.14/8

Low Score: 4

 

Round 2: Be a Rock Star In Just Three Chords (Audio Round)

High Score: 16 + joker (achieved by The Piccadilly Twitz)

Average Score: 11.3/16

Low Score: 6

 

Round 3: Say When: Super Heroes

High Score: 6 (achieved by The Piccadilly Twitz, 3 Men & a Little Katie, and Oregon is for Lovers Losers)

Average Score: 3.57/8

Low Score: 1

 

Round 4: Rangefinder History: Presidential Edition

High Score: 13 (raw score, achieved by The Piccadilly Twitz), 10 + joker (total score, achieved by Pauly Shore’s Fanclub!)

Average Score: 6.86/16

Low Score: 2

 

Round 5: It’s Raining Meh (Visual Round)

High Score: 8 (achieved by The Men & a Little Katie, The Tough Titties, and Please god don’t leave us, you dick) 

Average Score: 5.46/8

Low Score: 2

 

Round 6: Shit Lit

High Score: 7 (achieved by The Piccadilly Twitz and Oregon is for Lovers Losers)

Average Score: 5.29/8

Low Score: 2

 

Round 7: Finish the Line (Audio Round)

High Score: 6 + joker (achieved by Sex Panthers)

Average Score: 4.46/8

Low Score: 3

 

Round 8: Random Knowledge

High Score: 14 (raw score, achieved by Oregon is for Lovers Losers), 10 + joker (total score, achieved by The “B” Cups)

Average Score: 9.46/16

Low Score: 5

 

This week’s E-mail Bonus Question winner was Taylor, who got a Meow Button!

 

3rd Place: 3 Men & a Little Katie

 

2nd Place: Oregon is for lovers losers

 

1st Place: The Piccadilly Twitz