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Lumpys Downtown
145 Pier Point Ave
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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11:07 AM, August 24, 2012
Scores
Multiple Scoregasms 76
Balls Deep 75
Emcee clap yo hands 74
I'll have another 73
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style, I'm 100% behind you 67
Lumpy Pants 65
If Celine Dion sings into a black hole
Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm. 		Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

If only we could start colonizing space, we could convince Celine Dion to perform out of this galaxy. Hopefully somewhere she couldn't return. If possible, could we make it a variety show with Shia LeBouf and Kristen Stewart? 

We won't miss any of them.

It was another night of serious competition at Lumpy's. Damn, these scores were too tight for comfort. Only 11 points separated the top score from the bottom. So seriously, Lumpy Pants, don't feel bad about this loss. The win went to Multiple Scoregasms, with Balls Deep just a point behind.

We'll see you next week!