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The Rackhouse Pub
203 S Kalamath St
Denver, CO 80223
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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1:04 PM, June 22, 2012
Scores
We Put the Gin in Vagina! 88
Jazz Hands 81
No Name 76
Armadillo 74
My Cat's Breath Smells Like Cat Food 71
Steven Tyler's Lips 64
My Other Car is a Rocket 63
Berthod Pass Punks 59
Brown Town 58
Foreplay Longtime 58
Gary Big Wet Hairy Busey 56
In 3rd Place with 12 Points 55
There's No Sense in Nonsense, especially when the heat gets hot 53
Oh Dear Lord 46
Winner Winner! Chicken Dinner! 45
Lil Lebowski Urban Achievers 43
Shootin for Last 41
Bruce's Backyard Bandits (b3) 33
Poop Skank Purple Pegasaurus 31
No Thyme Like the Presant 27
Ugly Bumping 21
Flying Ladder 3
Yo 2
G-L-O-R-I-A
Tex from Pittsburgh


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Thursdays @ 8 p.m. at the Rackhouse 		Matthew "Tex" (Tex from Pittsburgh)

FUN FACTS ABOUT ME:

I am married to a lovely lady and live in West Denver with my two lovely cats, Lucy and Trousers. We don't have any kids yet and my wife says we can't name any kids Lucy on account of that's what the cat's name is. If I'd have known that I would have named the cat something else, you know? 

The name of the gang is my neighborhood is the "West Ninth Fuk Puppets," judging by the graffiti in my alley.

I collect Cthulhu statuettes, paisley ties, aloha shirts, animal skulls, briar pipes, expired passports off of eBay and smashed pennies. I used to collect pogs but then they stopped selling them.

I've never broken an arm or leg, and never had chicken pox. I am immune to bedbug bites and nearly immune to mosquito bites.

I've been in three fights in my adult life and won 1 1/2 of them.

I went to Spain for my honeymoon. I had diarrhea for seven of the 10 days of the trip.

I won the Phoenix Public Schools spelling bee for 3rd grade in 1990. I got 100 percent on all my spelling tests in 4th grade except for the word "masquerade," which I spelled right, but I got a half point taken off because my sloppy cursive made the "u" look like a "v". But to hell with that. I spelled it right, give me the full point, right?

I must have done other stuff besides that, but that's about all I can think of.

Just so there's fair warning: The next person who complains about my playing "Woolly Bully" or "Gloria" during quiz will be summarily shot, and the rest of his or her team will be permanently 86ed from the bar.

There are a lot of wonderful quizmasters who work for this company. In fact, I'd say I love them all so much that I would take a bullet for any one of them. But there are an awful lot of quizmasters who will play some pretty questionable music during their quizzes. One thing that comes to mind is "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. I have no idea when that song went from punchline to revered bar favorite, but it makes my skin crawl. I automatically lose respect for anyone whose face shows anything less than a look of abject horror when the song is audible. There are more than a few quizzes where they'll play "Don't Stop Believin'." My quiz is not one of them.

There's also a quiz where they play this abomination every single time! It's a great quiz, otherwise I wouldn't go every week, but honestly, that song is enough to incite murder.

What I'm saying to my dear Rackhouse friends is count your blessings. You could have a it a lot worse. Which is why I have absolutely no sympathy for whinging twits who bitch at me for playing two of the greatest songs of the Rock 'n' Roll era, the aforementioned "Woolly Bully" by Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs and "Gloria" by Them (i.e. Van Morrison and Co.). If you've got a problem with that, you don't just have a problem with me: You've got a problem with Rock 'n' Roll, and by extension, the entire fucking American Way.

As for the contention that someone could like "Gloria" ironically, that's just asinine. You can't like something ironically if it's objectively one of the best songs ever. You can like Journey ironically because it's sonic dogshit and it's impossible to "like" it without some pretty fucking big quotation marks around "like" -- unless you're just a straight-up asshole who came into the world with the birth defect that makes one susceptible to Journey fandom.

Well, I guess I've used up my weekly ration of bile. Now to the part where I praise you all for being so smart and nice. First placers We Put the Gin in Vagina, I commend you for another quiz well quizzed, though I caution you not to try to put your team name into action. Second placers Jazz Hands, I hope to see you again soon so you can give some of our more complacent top dog teams a run for their money. And in third place, No Name, you continue to be a prince and princesses among men. 

Finally, to the gal who tried to sign up for the e-mail list: Of course I lost your e-mail. If you write me at TuppyGlossop1@gmail.com, I will get you signed up. My apologies.