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The Park Tavern & Restaurant
931 E 11th Ave
Denver, CO 80218
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
1:34 PM, August 30, 2012
Scores
We Can't Win Because We Have Seven - DQ'd for Exceeding Team Limit, Obviously 74
Chinchilla Magic 64
Galaga: The Life and Times of Neil Armstrong - 2nd in OT 63
Ooooooooo Barracuda 63
On Golden Shower Pond 61
We Never Get Samples 60
My Doctor Gave Me Roofies 59
She Don't Need No Vibrator 53
Nellyville 51
Save NoLA Fuck FEMA 50
Gorillas in the Mist 49
Pralines and Dick 48
Ryan Is a Girl's Name 45
5 Shilling 40
I Titty-fucked Paul Ryan's Abs 21
Team RimJob - Formerly Team RamRod (Banned Team Name) 14
I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Anal Fisting!
Quizma$ter$ of the Univer$e


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday: Park Tavern, 8pm/ Tuesday: Irish Snug, 8pm / Saturday: Whiskey Bar, 7pm/ 		Emilio Scattaglia (Quizma$ter$ of the Univer$e)

Genius Christ Supertard.

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Much like your parents, Josh Motherfucking Johnson wasn't mad at your performance on R2, he was just disappointed. You could tell by his judgmental slight head shake. He just hopes you try harder next time. And he's taking your car keys away for a week.

***

Brad draws racially insensitive animal stereotypes

***

I'm not sure that I'm technically a pedophobic, but I can totally sympathize; children can be fucking terrifying. They're like these weird little aliens who see the world in this completely different way from normal human beings (grown folk). Also, they smell bad and are often covered in various combinations of their own (and probably others') bodily fluids. Imagine a reality where it's acceptable to walk around all day wearing your own waste products as perfume. Do you want to live in that world? Well, that's the world that children live in. And (some) adults have to live there with them.

Furthermore, they don't drink or do drugs (probably). How can I trust a creature who's never been fucked up before but still thinks it's OK to spin around in circles until they get dizzy and fall down? I don't think I can.

Plus, I read this study once that said a majority of children spend many of their nights standing outside of their parents' bedroom doors, holding a knife while talking to their imaginary friends. Truth.  And people purposely bring these little horrifying alien creatures into their homes!

In summation, the aliens have been here all along, and they are us.

All right, now that I've terrified myself, I'm going to curl up into a fetal position and rock myself into catatonia. Be afraid; they're everywhere.

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