Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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I feel that tonight's quiz came awfully close to solving an important question of the ages, but failed. The opportunity was right there, right within our grasp, and yet we failed you. For that, I apologize.
I speak, of course, of round seven's travel clips, and how they relate to the question we've been asking since 1985: Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
She's off somewhere, committing some sort of crime. I'm not entirely clear on what kind of crime. She's never actually been convicted, so it's all "alleged," but that's almost entirely because we can't find her.
She's probably not in Japan. She'd stand out there. The chick's like 6'1" according to my memories from the cartoon character when I was six. Big red coat and hat on a woman standing six inches above the rest of the population? Not gonna happen.
Maybe Spain. Judging by the name, she's got some Spanish heritage in there. I bet she even speaks Spanish. Because she's a world traveler, I mean. Not just because of her name. That would be uncool of me.
France is just too easy. And smelly.
She wouldn't necessarily blend in in India, but there are enough people there that she can hide in a crowd. Plus the food is delicious. Go out and get yourself some Lamb Vindaloo. You can thank me later.
Argentina is possible for all the same reasons as Spain. ...That one might be a little racist. I apologize.
What matters is that we still don't know where that bitch is. She could be killing your grandmother in Tuscaloosa, if you have a grandmother in Tuscaloosa. The combined power of the geeks could find her, I'm sure, but we keep squandering our abilities on questions about semen and Mr. Clean.
Come back next week, for more questions about semen and Mr. Clean! I love each and every one of you, except for most of you.