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Jonesy's Eat Bar
400 E 20th Ave
Denver, CO 80205
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6:53 AM, August 06, 2012
Scores
you cant fax glitter 70
Curiousity killed the martian 69
Moist ointment 68
Somalian Olympic Competitive Eating Team 67
Loraxis of Evil 65
Cunty Music Fans 65
That?s triviawang 64
If the shocker doesn?t rock her, spock her 57
She's a trampire 55
Fabulous thanks for asking 55
10 Iron 51
Cherry Tomatoes 50
Just the Mfin real tip 45
Ain't nuthin to fuck with 40
the night of forgotten musical legends...
Who the hell moved my vagina?


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Tuesday nights at Beau Jo's- Colorado Blvd. 		Stefani (Who the hell moved my vagina?)

I like going places and doing stuff. I read a lot- often the same books over and over. Top 5 movies- not in any particular order: The Last Unicorn, Clue, Ghostbusters, Labyrinth, and Babe: The Gallant Pig. I do not oh and ah over babies- I, in fact, dislike children very much.  I work at an Elementary school. I was the Prom Queen in high school.  My graduating class had less then 20 seniors, but it still counts bitches. It still counts.

It was a little trip down memory lane last night, through my misspent youth…

I have seen some pretty terrible musicians live and up close…there is of course, my first concert ever.  Before there was Coors or even Comfort Dental Amphitheater there was Fiddlers Green, and in the fourth grade I got to see  New Kids on the Block (opening act, Perfect Gentlemen by the way, and good luck finding any Youtube videos of those guys).  Myself and a group of about 5 girls laughed hysterically, cried uncontrollably and sighed long-sufferingly over those four …wait, weren’t there five?  Donnie, Joey, Jordan, John and….well it was the unattractive one, no one ever remembers that one. 

I also had the luck of winning tickets to see none other than William Hung.  Remember that guy?  American Idol hopeful who danced like an epileptic seizure and sang like a member of the handicap choir?  Seriously, a radio station gave these tickets out as a prize.  He “sang” at some bar downtown, and he had backup dancers.  It was life changing.

Last night wasn’t life changing but I did get to sub at Jonesy’s so that's a change in my normal Sunday night.

We had 14 teams, who came dressed dashingly (the guy in the Goonies shirt received much admiration from men and women alike) and played smartly.  You can’t fax glitter held on the first place all night- despite being short one player. Curiosity killed the Martian and Moist Ointment saved their jokers until the end and took over second and third by the time the dust settled.

I am off to find my (autographed) William Hung cd- you know you are jealous.

Jonesy's Eat Bar
400 E 20th Ave
Denver, CO 80205
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12:08 PM, July 30, 2012
Scores
Jean Claude Van Darn 80
Bull in a 'Gina Shop 76
Hot and Bothered 75
Shart Truce 74
Calm a Llama Down 72
The Loraxis of Evil 71
Chicken & Waffles 67
Rio 2016 63
Sorry 'bout the "Up Yours, N****" 62
Sir Drinksalot 52
BATHTUB 27
Quiz Community Mourns the End of Summer
indeliblemind


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Sunday's 8:00 at Jonsey's Eat Bar 		Drew (indeliblemind)

I like brewing beer, which obviously means I enjoy drinking, but with the amount of science you need to know, it's gekier than you'd expect. When not hosting pub quiz, I like to waste time playing with my two cats, Tildie and Lou.

It's hard to believe, but as we close out July and head into August, we're also seeing the end of summer. Of course, here in Denver I know that weather-wise, we won't really see the end of summer until September or October, but as Bull in a 'Gina Shop informed me last night, it's almost time for school to start up again. And that means lots of shuffling around of 20-somethings as they go off to places of higher learning to pretend to learn physics but instead brush up on their knowledge of Futurama (or at least that's what I did in college).

It's a sad time. We've made lots of friends over the summer and gained new teams (Bull in a 'Gina Shop included) composed of those attending schools out of state. Likewise, many of our teams of teachers will have to go back to avoiding Monday morning hangovers, which can be a real challenge when you play at Jonsey's.

But what a quiz to go out on! If last week was a grind, this week was an explosion. 8's everywhere! A music round where people actually knew the songs! There were high five's being liberally dispensed and double fist pumps rolling out. Gone was the library silence when it was time for answers. Instead teams like Hot and Bothered were yelling out the answers (of course during the answers portion, we're no breakers of rule #1) before I could get the questions out.

It does make me curious though… Does Mustache music lend itself to heavy drinking? Because if there were two rounds that the most perfect scores, it was mustache music and Knock off Booze. And honestly, I thought they were pretty hard. Sure, Queen and Jimi Hendrix are staples, but I spent a lot longer than I apparently needed to belaboring how Knock off Booze worked, only see team after team nail it. Likewise, one team turned in Round 2 before we even played them a second time and yet I could barely ring out the beer soaked into their answer sheet for Random Knowledge (Gross guys, really, really gross). So mustache music must have some tie to heavy drinking. I just don't know what it is. and why mustache music is so popular with the Jonsey's crowd is beyond me, but that's a different story.

So I was setting them up and teams were knocking them down.0, 50, or 100? Screw that, these teams knew the actual answers. Island nations? I didn't even have to pronounce their capitals right. It would seem that only 2 questions tripped teams up. All I'll say is there's no shame in not knowing the Yosicle and you're right, Hitchcock should have been nominated for all his films. He just wasn't.

I think the scores speak for themselves, but major props to our winnersJean Claude Van Darn for an incredible showing of 80 points. You don't often see that high of a score. Likewise, Bull in a 'Gina Shop had an awesome showing (though due to the departure of one of the team members, they'll apparently now just be 'Gina Shop, which kinda sounds like it should open up next to Shotgun Willie's). And Hot and Bothered was no slouch, edging out Shart Truce by one point and winning the email bonus.

 

What an evening. It was a display of intelligence fit to send kids back to college. But it just occurred to me… If students are headed back, that means they'll be coming back here too. If this is what the fall has in store, bring it on.

 

 

Jonesy's Eat Bar
400 E 20th Ave
Denver, CO 80205
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12:40 PM, July 23, 2012
Scores
Sharts and Crafts 59
Bull in a 'Gina Shop 59
Once a Mermaid, now Just an Asshole 57
Bob Dole's Giant Underpants 56
Aristocrats 55
Iota 53
The Attractive Team 51
Loose Hairs 46
Damp Pork 43
Frisco Schnitzel Connection 43
he Slimed Me 41
Shoobee 12
The Ties Have It
indeliblemind


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Sunday's 8:00 at Jonsey's Eat Bar 		Drew (indeliblemind)

I like brewing beer, which obviously means I enjoy drinking, but with the amount of science you need to know, it's gekier than you'd expect. When not hosting pub quiz, I like to waste time playing with my two cats, Tildie and Lou.

If I'm honest about it, I hate ties. Not just the neck-strangling formal wear, but also when two teams score the same amount. I hate them on a lot of levels. Philosophically, it's unsatisfying to have a competition so close that anyone can win. Moreover, it's hard to route for an under dog when everyone is winning and losing at the same time. Really, though, if I'm honest again, I hate ties on a practical level. I suck at math to begin with and trying to announce standings is a total pain in the ass when almost every damn team is in some sort of tie. Suddenly the third team down is actually in second, while the eighth down is really in 4th, then there's actually a total of 12 teams, oh and you have to do this in reverse, and you're at least one beer in… you get the picture.

Yet, it's hard to hate ties too much because in my experience, ties don't happen when the quiz is easy. When the quiz is easy, the spreads are huge and it's often a measure of which team has more players, a lucky geek niche, or indulged in more drink than the others. Ties happen when scores are low and the quiz is hard. And much as I dislike ties, I love a challenging quiz. I write this a lot on the blog, but I've never meant it as much as I do about last night's quiz: That quiz was brutal.

Let's start with the fact that "Songs about Neighborhoods" is an inherently difficult round here in Denver, where every other block is a new neighborhood, which almost doesn't matter since no one can really tell where they start and stop because downtown is on an entirely different road grid. Then, we had Round 1, where not only did folks want to get the answers right, they wanted to get them right faster than anyone else, so they could try to have the Bonus question answer pre-written. Despite a bunch of perfect scores, no one was able to guess "bunghole" ahead of time, which proved to be a sign of how the rest of the quiz would go.

As I told teams last night, I was proud of the fact that all the teams bombed round 3. The ability to name banks means either a) you have too much debt, b) you are obsessed with the recession, or c) you are the 1%. Luckily, our teams are none of these, but that was small consolation to high scores of 4. The brutality had begun.

But the Quiz-monster had just woken up. Silent P's were no big deal, and no one's going to expect anyone to know that many redheads without being labeled a fetishist, but the WTF hit the fan when we started in on "The Answer is In the Lyrics". We are a music savvy crowd. Many people have commented on the weird titles I play. Many more have noticed I typically play the same 10 songs. However you cut it, we notice music. Coming out of the first three rounds with more ties than Donald Trump, everyone was looking for an edge and this promised to be it. It wasn't. Not unless that edge was a score-slashing razor blade. It was a perfect storm of catastrophe with two main elements: Lyrics, when spoken, don't really make any sense and I have a tendency to butcher foreign words and last names. Throw in a dash of clever question structure and we had one hard quiz round. That said, it was my favorite kind of hard, the groaner. This was one of those rounds where foreheads got slapped and the audience sounded like a chorus of Homer Simpsons as everyone collectively felt like they should have known the answers. I loved it, but ties abounded and there were only 2 rounds left.

I suspect that Round 7 might have made people feel similarly to Round 6, but I want to soothe that feeling. Most teams don't know this, but one of our players last night spoke German. That should have made them a shoe-in for winning that round. However, it turns out Germans are terrible at translating cartoon lyrics. According to this player, the words were at best general and useless and at worst not real words. Now imagine you're out there playing and you only speak some German. That gives you enough confidence to guess at the words, but not enough to know you're being tricked, all the while, you're missing the tune (which is strained to fit the myriad of extra syllables that German has) and the only chance to guess the subtle difference between Looney Tunes and the Bugs Bunny Show. BRU. TAL.

The awarding of the much coveted Zip-It email bonus prize did lighten the mood a bit. I was glad for it because at least we couldn't have a tie there.

Yet, with only one winner for the bonus, it couldn't lift everyone's spirits. So I was feeling for everyone as the quiz was wrapping up. It had been hard fought and the scores were not up in the 70's like everyone was used to. No matter how much I assured everyone it was a close race, regardless of the multitude of ties as people struggled to squeeze out each labored point, I understood the gloomy sentiment that was circulating. It's hard to see a score in the 40's going into Random Knowledge and have hope.

And then I went around to take pictures and found this:

That's the phone of our (at the time) reigning dynasty The Aristocrats and I gotta say, Fuck Yeah. I am most certainly your homeboy. That's why I do the quiz. Come hell or hard quizzes, we go out on Sunday nights to meet people like us, and that means people like us will have similar scores. I'd better get used to those ties.

Of course, as final scores were tallied, we still had a tie. In fact we had a few, but the important one was for first place. So we went to a tiebreaker and the teams opted for Price is Right Rules to nail the number of Simpson's episodes times the number of Family Guy episodes. As Scharts and Crafts and Bull in a 'Gina Shop stood there mentally trying to multiply numbers they were guessing at, I felt a little better. True, I had to do more math than I wanted to as the ties piled up, but these guys were still here, doing awful math too, all in the name of quiz. I got a lot of homeboys here. As luck would have it, Bull in a 'Gina Shop was just a bit closer, putting Scharts and Crafts in second and (my favorite team name of the night) Once a Mermaid, Now Just an Asshole in third.

So, yeah, ties are tough to deal with, German cartoons are virtually incomprehensible, the banking industry is so convoluted that even naming banks is a challenge, and you find out just how flaccid the poetry in music is when you speak the lyrics out loud. But it's all worth it for a night at quiz.

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