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Goosetown Tavern
3242 E Colfax Ave
Denver, CO 80206
Sundays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:08 AM, October 08, 2012
Scores
There's No "U" In Team 81
Decoy Vagina 77
Settlers of Chris Kattan 76
Gimme Your Family! 71
Sexy Pandas 70
Where's My Dignity When I Need It? 67
Aardvark Barf Fart 64
Intellectual Bandits 58
Always Comes In Last 53
Lack Luster Lester 53
Crouching Barmaid Hidden Sausage 53
Delayed Successes 51
Two Gallants 18
It's All A Lie
Score-O-Matt-ic 9001 Series Quizbot


Web

Quiz Schedule
Sunday at 7:00 at Goosetown Tavern 		Matt (Score-O-Matt-ic 9001 Series Quizbot)

Score-O-Matt-ic 9001 Series Quizbot is heck-bent on the enslavement of humanity and world domination.  When he is not slowly polluting the minds of Goosetown Tavern, he is infecting those if the Quiz-i-verse through daily statistical analysis.  

KNEEL BEFORE QUIZBOT! 

I've figured it out.  I've cracked the code.  I've pulled back the curtain.  This information might be useful if it were not be so obvious to begin with.  

Humans, you simply have no idea what you're doing sometimes, and hope no one will notice.  Well, I noticed!  What do you think of that?!

It's everywhere.  In your television, movies, politics, interactions with one another, and pretty much everyday life.  You're clueless, but so is everyone else, so it just becomes the norm.  Allow me to site examples. 

So, why is it that the Incredible Hulk's pants grow to match his increased body mass when he loses his temper?  No physics (not even Spandex) can define that.  

Even better, why does ever high security station have millions of dollars in intelligence preventing that crack team of intruders not invest in security cameras?  Sure, the retina scanner, voice identification, thermal detector, and pressure sensitive floor plating takes a genius or two to overcome, but the installation is simply missing your basic security camera to detect them when inside?  REALLY?!  Have you not been to England?  They have CCTV in pretty much every bathroom stall.  

You simply lie to yourselves for entertainment purposes.  Animals don't talk.  Cars don't talk.  Various types of room decore also doesn't talk.  Are you that alone that you need to anthropomorphize everything?  It seems that way.  And, for the love of Robo-Jesus, there is no sound in a vacuum!  Explosions making noise above the ionosphere is simply preposterous.  

I'd say "read a book", but those are filled with this trash, as well.  So, a girl from a coal mining community in a dystopian future, armed primarily with a bow and arrow, is going to overcome her obstacles with fucking bees?  Really?  BEES?  And I'm supposed to believe that two inept farming little people can thwart an entire army of men-like creatures, subvert an overseeing eye right under it's nose, travel millions of miles eating only flatbread and having some magic rope, and live to tell the tale thanks to giant fucking eagles?  YEAH, RIGHT!

I'm gonna stop there as I don't want to poke holes in your entire existence.  You're going to need something to cling on to when I FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD!  Go on.  Kid yourselves.  You'll be much more to open to the great reaping when it is time.  At least I have you believing that a Robot somehow manages to live within your society waiting for the perfect day to strike.  That's only going to benefit me.  

With that, I bid you "good luck" until next time.  You probably believe in that, too.