3242 E Colfax Ave
Denver, CO 80206
Sundays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
I love Nerds.
And Dorks. And Geeks. And Dweebs. I love them all.
They will make excellent heralds when the Earth is mine. Plus, they'd finally get their due at the top of the food chain. Not literally, though. That's still meant for lions, and stuff. Both don't think they are all the same. Not at all! Let me 'splain.
Dweebs are probably the most socially awkward. Those will be the ones you find living in their parental unit's basement. The majority of their social interaction is done through online gaming. They plan the raids, and can tell you the mana cost of everything from Magic: The Gathering's Innistrad expansion.
Just above them would be Dorks. They are drawn to Steampunk, Goth, inappropriate cosplay for their body mass index, and Renaissance festivals. Some would dress normally in a Duster and a Fedora. They quote "The Princess Bride" more often than it is ever needed. The women of this group own corsets. They often have horrible tattoos. Either sex in this group likely owns ornamental knives of some sort, and can speak Klingon. Ya know....THOSE people.
Then we have Nerds. They're not quite at the top of our acne-infested pyramid, but they're up there. They still collect comic books, watch various sub-levels of anime, write fan fiction, and probably don't live with their parents, but share an apartment with other nerds. I'd bet they had a clever name for said apartment, as well, so girls will think they're just a little bit cooler when they're talking to each other in ear shot of the females.
Finally, the pioneers of social acception, we have Geeks. Geeks are wonderful (if it isn't obvious by the website you are currently on)! They run shit. Your computers often owe their lives to them, in some fashion. They run your Pub Quizzes (duh). They're usually into Improv, but not necessarily Stand-Up. They know who some people are in comic books, but "haven't collected in a few years". They are, by far, the most socially adjusted.
These are all top of mind because of my visitation to the local Comic-Con this past weekend. For it being the first time in this metropolis, it wasn't bad at all. Of course, all of these human sub-species were in full force, cohabiting peacefully. I probably should have shed my humanoid skin and walked around as a true Quizbot, but didn't want everyone to get too attached. Of course, it would behoove them to know the face of the eventual robotic overlord, but there will plenty of time for those pleasantries down the road.
At Quiz, one team was also in attendance earlier in the weekend, and even sculpted their team name as such. They were "Pick Up Lines That Only Work At Comic-Con". To my elation, they gave me a new one (and some extras) on each score sheet. Let me share those with everyone RIGHT NOW:
"Is that a blaster in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Aren't you a little sexy for a stormtrooper?"
"I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm just reading your T-shirt."
"It's like a T.A.R.D.I.S., actually bigger than it looks!"
"You make my Spidey senses tingle...in my pants."
"Hey baby, wanna meet Wil Wheaton?"
"Have sex with me, and you'll boldly go where no one has gone before."
"You must be a Parseltoungue, because you're making my serpent talk!"
"Hi, I'm Winter, and Winter is coming!"
They even gave me a few extra, for good measure. Even with nerd power on their side, this team fell prey to the quiz, and ended up in second place. Bigger nerds, who drew me a nice picture, triumphed solely on their knowledge of Stephen King books (that weren't). It's always a hot quiz at the Goose.
In summation, I love you, nerds-of-all-kinds. And coming from a Robot, you better find that the highest compliment of all.
Until next time, geeky humans!