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Luscious Nectar
253 Linden St
Fort Collins, CO 80524
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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6:35 AM, August 27, 2014
Scores
Legion of Doom 68

RPF140304 Llama Glama 62

Code Orange 59

The Neck and Neck Turds 16

Drinking in Scrubs 10

Daknob


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Thursday @ 6:30
Robert (Daknob)

I'm still pretty new to this Quizmaster thing, but I think I've got the hang of it.

1) Find the biggest guy in the place, walk up to him and punch him in the craw.

2) Always sit with people that look like you.

3) Don't pick up the soap when you drop it.

Wait, that was for something else I did. AWWWWWWWWWKWARRRRRRD.

I've been a Quizmaster since March, 2014. I'm honing my skills at the biggest patio bar in Fort Fun and every now and then another Quizmaster hasn't gotten to know me well enough to avoid asking me into their domain when they are away to host their quiz.

Until someone important figures out that I'm faking it, I'll keep doing what I'm doing.

When a team dominates a round with a perfect score dedicated to shit that blow's up, then I reserve the right to change their name based on the simple fact that they have a name that rhymes with the topic. Well done to Legion of Doom for their convincing win tonight. The score appeared much closer than the actual match. It was never in doubt.

Speaking of rhymes. 

There once was a team Llama Glama

All business and never with drama

They came here to Rumble and scarce to they stumble

Not to mention they're hot little mommas

Well done on your second place score, which was also never in doubt. See you in another quiz life

I have now been let onto a little secret among those of you that spend your weekends scampering around the long, tall, overpacked isles of the Home Depot on your weekends. When your hear "Code Orange", run. Run for your life. It's a secret code developed by all who work there that the revolution is coming and there is no turning back.

Until next time Luscious Nectar, may the odds ever be in your favor. 

Luscious Nectar
253 Linden St
Fort Collins, CO 80524
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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11:50 AM, August 20, 2014
Scores
RPF140347 LLUA 86

Squirrels Gone Wild 75

RPF140304 Llama Glama 71

The PT Cruisers 70

Steve Holt! 55

Those People 48

Illegal Frackers 45

Poppin' Vice 39

Dr. Kaufman


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Derek (Dr. Kaufman)

Last night I tried to ask you guys if you’d ever played The Noid video game as a kid, and I was surprised by you nerds, because none of you said yes.  So now I’m going to lay some knowledge bombs on you, because you clearly don’t know about the important things in life.  First, if you’re not sure what the hell the Noid is, check out this video.  Now, there were two Noid video games: Avoid the Noid for the Commodore 64 and MS-DOS, and Yo! Noid for the NES and in some arcades.   In Avoid the Noid, you play as a pizza delivery boy trying to deliver pizza to the top of a tower, all while Noids are trying to stop you.  The baffling thing about this game are the hoops you have to jump through just to get this guy his pizza.  I mean, why on earth would a person hide their keys for you to find, just so that you can give them a pizza that they paid for? In Yo! Noid, you play as the Noid, and you’re trying to stop this green slime creature or something, in order to get your pizza reward from the mayor.  Honestly, the plot of the second one makes absolutely no sense.  Why would the Noid want a pizza reward? He hates pizza! Did dominoes forget the entire premise of their weird mascot? At any rate, both of these games were terrible, and I can only imagine the execs at Dominoes, a company in the food and service industry, thought getting into the video game industry was the best idea they had ever come up with.  It makes me glad that they’re just sticking to pizza now.

Clearly, my favorite round last night was Round 4, the round on pizza.  This is because I have a ridiculous love for pizza.  It goes beyond America’s love of pizza, and that’s saying a lot because America really loves pizza.  It’s a $40 billion a year industry, with Americans eating at least 100 acres of pizza on the daily.  So it goes without saying that the average for that round was a 7/8.  Round 4 also had my favorite answer of the night, which was that Donald Trump eats pizza by himself, and that’s why Jon Stewart made fun of him.  Whereas that wasn’t the answer we were looking for, I imagine that Mr. Trump does eat everything alone.

Lastly, let’s talk about the standings.  First, second and third were dominated byLittle Lebowski Urban AchieversSquirrels Gone Wild, and Llama Glama, respectively.  LLUA had a pretty impressive finishing score of 86, so props to them.  The team I want to give the biggest shoutout to is Illegal Frackers. That team missed the first three rounds, and still managed to not come in last.  Way to be guys.  Come on time, and you might just place.

Luscious Nectar
253 Linden St
Fort Collins, CO 80524
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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Comment Now
11:49 AM, August 13, 2014
Scores
Legion of Doom 72

Squirrels Gone Wild 71

IDK 69

RPF140171 Two Things We're good at - Trivia & Akward 66

Smorph 66

RPF140192 Sink, Line, and Hooker 63

RPF140304 Llama Glama 61

Tony Stewarts Speed Bump 59

RPF140347 LLUA 53

Wu Tang Clams 43

Ouch is Not a Safeword 36

Who Dat 32

Dr. Kaufman


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Derek (Dr. Kaufman)

Have any of you seen Tim Burton’s rendition of Planet of the Apes?  Do any of you remember the ending of that movie, and how it made absolutely no sense whatsoever?  I’m going to rant about this for a minute, so bear with me.  The movie as a whole is not so bad, at the very least it has Mark Wahlberg, and at one point an ape writes a letter with her feet.  The thing that is really frustrating about this movie is the ending.  See, for those of you who know nothing of this movie, or its franchise, Mark Wahlberg is an astronaut who goes to the future, crash lands on a planet full of apes, fights to survive, and then leaves, going back in time to his own world.  He crash lands on earth in front of the Lincoln Memorial in D.C.  However, things are not as they seem.  As Marky Mark gazes upon the Lincoln Memorial, he realizes it’s not Abraham Lincoln, but rather (queue record scratch) APE-RAHAM LINCOLN!!  Then out of nowhere, the deserted streets fill up with cop cars and surround Mr. Wahlberg, and piling out of those cars are APE COPS who all point guns at him and tell him to freeze.  Roll end credits. 
                Wait, WHAT?!  What the hell just happened? (Not just; I do understand that this movie came out in 2001, and that my complaints on it are less than timely.) He went to the future, then went back to his time, and we were replaced by apes?? Also, D.C. is the same, it’s just replaced by apes.  And there’s an ape Lincoln Memorial, which means there was an ape civil war, which also means there were ape slaves (most likely Howler Monkeys, just saying…)!  So in this weird, doesn’t-make-any-sense timeline, apes have done everything humans have done, in the same way, but they were apes.  One might say that’s bananas, but then we’d realize that in that timeline, there’s an ape Gwen Stefani.

Whew, alright, I’m finished, so let’s move on.  Last night’s quiz was awesome! We had a great turnout, and some impressive scores, considering how difficult the quiz was.  Round two, our first audio round of the night, was on the music from Guardians of the Galaxy.  Whereas I’m sure 99% of you saw this movie, not many of you know the almost 40 year old music.  Seriously though, who can blame you? Who gives a crap about Redbone or Rupert Holmes when we have the modern musical stylings of Nicki Minaj?  Round six, a round on candy bars, seemed to give a lot of teams trouble as well.  I guess very few of you guys have a sweet tooth.

Finally, the quiz was dominated by Squirrels Gone Wild, that is until the eighth round, where Legion of Doom took over, just barely sliding into first place with a score of 72, Leaving Squirrels in second with 71, and IDK in third.  A special shout out goes to Ouch is Not a Safeword for winning “Just Not Last.”  They dethroned my mom’s team, Who Dat, in order for one of their team members to take a shot of White Russian and pickle juice.  The team member who took the shot, took this nasty little concoction like a seasoned veteran, which is why she wins my “True Champion” award.  Sadly, there are no prizes for this award, only the respect from your colleagues, mixed with the vomit that was sure to follow after taking that shot.  

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