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I know a seemed a little distracted last night, but you would be too if during a question about which president swam naked in the Potomac, an attractive young lady yelled, “me!” I mean, come on people, we need to get our priorities straight here. What’s more important, U.S. Presidents or beautiful young women frolicking in the river? I think I just answered my own question.
Bagpipes, is there anything they can’t ruin. No, there is not. Bagpipes are definitely proof that Hell is real and that we are all going there when we die. We don’t really have a say in this matter. And we will hear the sound of ACDC’s Thunderstruck being played on the pipes for the rest of eternity. Lucky for me, I still don’t believe in hell, because otherwise, I’d probably be cramming my face with chicken sandwiches and nodding in fervent agreement with Sarah Palin. And if I ever do end up doing that, I have completely lost all mental capacities and should probably be placed in a home. And I know that we are on the verge of beating the whole Chick-Fil-A thing to death, but seriously, fuck those guys.
Fun fact! The words “President Bush” and “badass” have never been used in the same sentence. And attempts to do so in the past have resulted in the speaker breaking into hysterical laughter at the sheer absurdity of it, Conversely, having the name Roosevelt automatically makes you a level 50 badass. Just ask Eleanor.
Well, that’s going to wrap things up. But before I go, I want to remind you that the King of Comedy is one of the most underrated films of all time and you should watch it as soon as possible. But don’t kidnap Jerry Lewis. That rarely goes well.