7519 Grandview Ave
Arvada, CO 80002
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I of course refer to Chauncey the Chocodile... the erstwhile mascot for the world's finest snack cake - the Chocodile. To those of you who are from the East coast or simply missed out on the phenomenon of the Chocodile, it's basically a chocolate covered Twinkie. But that's a little like describing the Mona Lisa as "just a painting" or Led Zeppelin as "just a band". Or Thursday nights at the Dnote as "just a quiz".
It was a good time, and a packed house at the last night's quiz. We had a drunkenly debaucherous time as we quizzed your brain on all things that stink, fire songs, fire crotches, world geography, movies to go down to, and even some text abbreviations for the kids. Plus there were Oscars vs. Razzies and everyone's favorite round on botany. And then there were Chocodiles… scrumptious, tasty, heavenly Chocodiles.
Growing up, I went to a crap grade school with no cafeteria, and that meant brown-bagging it. Many a bland ham sandwich was consumed in those hallowed halls, as well as an apple and a Transformers thermos full of milk. But this mundane mid-day meal was made awesome by a daily visit from Chauncey the Chocodile. One might be taken aback at first by the intimidating dark visage, but I assure you inside was a heart of gold… en cake.
Don't get me wrong, I had my flings with other Hostess snack cakes... the Fruit Pie, the Ding-Dong, the cupcakes, the occasional Suzy Q, and even seeing Dolly Madison on the side and enjoying her tasty Zingers. And of course there was the Twinkie. Every kid in America has had the Twinkie but for me, Twinkie the Kid always felt a little lackluster, as though he wasn't living up to his full potential. The creamy spirit was willing, but the spongy flesh was weak. Then I met the Chocodile and I was never the same again. His rich chocolate coat made Twinkie shine the dark star of lunch.
But as the years went on, something happened to the Chocodile. Hunted to the point of near extinction in Colorado and all parts east, the Chocodile was prized for its tasty chocolate flesh and sponge cake organs, and the tasty cake became a rare find indeed. But thanks in part to Roger on American Dad and lovely quiz regulars Elizabeth & Lindsay, I have been inspired to propagate the Chocodile population. Maybe I'm making them in a mob kitchen, maybe they fell off of a bakery truck, or maybe I just have a sexy she-Croc chained up in my basement that I like to "slip the Twinkie" to. You don't concern yourself with how I'm getting them... you just enter the email bonus question each week and quiz yourself to diabetes. That's right, from now on (or until I lose interest, or forget, or run out... so probably next week), in addition to the fantastic email bonus prize, every email bonus winner will also go home with this jewel of the chocolate Nile (which sounds incredibly obscene).
So sign up, get hints on next week's quiz, win some crap cool stuff and then fall in love with the snack world's best kept secret. You’ll thank me. Until next week...