Hi, Dnote!  Long time, often see.  You’re my favorite place to come play quiz but when regular quizmaster Paul does something silly like drop his laptop and make it unusable for quiz then I have to put my big boy pants on lead the Dnote congregation. 

Oh, the time we had talking about the news.  Lesbians and foreigners have been dominating current events thus far.  These are exciting times to be alive.

Ready to go back to school?  Too bad, sucka, ‘cause round 2 was all about school-related songs.  Looks like you paid as much attention to these songs as you did in actual school; low scores all around.

I try to clean up the language when kids are present but, when you have a round on sexual terms, how does one clean up the phrase “drink semen from a glass?”  Evel Knievel could negotiate that sticky situation (pun definitely intended) but that ability died with him.

Round four?  That was about feet, balls, and football.  Podophilia is known in the porn industry by what alliterative name?  Foot fetish is the answer but I counted “foot fucking” because it’s basically the same thing AND it’s still alliterative. 

Then we had ourselves a visual round on dinosaurs in pop culture.  Hey, do you remember the Super Mario Bros. movie with Dennis Hopper?  You do?  I’m sorry to hear that.  I think I scooped that part of my memory out with a rusty spoon some years ago.

Round six was a math round except a good portion of the questions were really history and/or geography questions.  They all had the theme of George W. Bush because I’m very eco-conscious and I’m not going to throw out political satire just because it’s four years old.

Round seven was on the best movie monologue ever: Quint’s recounting of the U.S.S. Indianapolis in Jaws.  The first question of the round was “what movie did this monologue come from?”  People, every other word he said was “shark.”  Even if you’ve never seen Jaws (shame on you) you ought to make that easy connection. 

And then we had round 8.  When we talk about truth in advertising, we talk about the comic strip Hagar the Horrible which is, indeed, horrible.  Not quite as horrible as Marmaduke or the creationist crap known as B.C. but still pretty bad.  I put Garfield half a notch above only because Jim Davis was born in the same town as me so, you know, local hero worship and all.

When the smoke cleared, Dreamchasers edged out perennial winners Sparkle Motion but I was informed that Dreamchasers had 7 people on their team and were thus unable to joker.  They claimed their extra man had just arrived and wasn’t playing.  Well, there’s a lot of you bastards out there and I can’t keep track of your comings and goings so I believed the story.  Plus, I had an allergy headache and wasn’t in the mood for confrontation.  It was afterwards that other teams told me “Yeah, that other guy came late—like in the second round!”  So they had seven people pretty much the whole time.  Dreamchasers are liars and I hate myself for allowing they’re cheatin’ asses to win.

But that’s neither here nor there.

I’ll see you next week, Dnote, but on the other side of the quizmaster stand. 

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
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