Let's run over our horse terminology again.

Age 0-1 = foal
Age 1-2 = yearling
Age 2-3 = filly (F), colt (M)
Age 3-4 = coulter (F), macgowan (M)
Age 5-20 = mare (F), stallion (M:balls), gelding (M:ballfree)
Age 25-up = nag (F/M:balls), lieberman (M:ballfree)

Don't say I never taught you nothing.

Assholes In Spaaace prefer to ride llamas.

For your further education, I present the clip from Home Alone that stumped everyone but Kittens U.S.A. Thanks to some gifted pipes, Daniel Stern lets out an impressive, arachnid-inspired scream. It's easy to see why so many of you wrote "Psycho."

Don't scream, Team #7; you have the highest per-person average.

Before we get down to stats and standouts, take a look at this photo:

Does this look like the kind of parking job for which your quizmaster should get a ticket? Some of you watched with great curiosity as I snapped a few pictures before driving away. These will be sent to the courthouse along with the ticket and a note that says, "Perhaps I am improperly parked in front of a curb ramp, but have you considered that it is the curb ramp that is improperly parked outside of its crosswalk?"

The jury of Nuka-Cola finds me "Not Guilty!"

Of course, this could be futile. Even the pictures may have little impact on the court's finding. Perhaps I should send them different pictures instead. "To Your Honor Sir or Madam. I am too cool to have this ticket. I have my guitar controllers mounted on my wall. Please take this ticket and give it to someone less cool. Sincerely, Quizmaster Choo."

A quick look at the peak performances for the evening reveals why Binary Solo came out on top. 15/16 in the music category, 8/8 in Colts & Saints, and 13/16 in "Random Knowledge." They were just annihilating and little could be done. Kittens U.S.A. used their perfect round on scream-filled flicks to vault into the top three, but getting the full eight in the Aaron Spelling round didn't do the same for The Motorboaters.

Not that they let it get them down.

Congratulations to The Motorboaters though for picking up the bonus point for best origami creation. There was strong competition including...

A crane.

A totally different crane.

A balloon.

A canoe, filled with David Bowie.

The flower that won it!

The tit spinners that came later!

Thanks again for putting up with this week's odd schedule. All of you are winners for even coming out...even if these are the real winners.

E-mail Prize: Josh gets chum-flavored candy.

Best Mustache: wait, that's not a prize.

Third Place: Kittens U.S.A.

Second Place: Chewbacca, Plain & Tall

Grand Champeens: Binary Solo

See you all next week, back on Wednesday, back when we belong!

Scores!

Binary Solo              79
Chewbacca, Plain & Tall  68
Kittens U.S.A.           65
Assholes In Spaaace      64
The Motorboaters         59
Nuka-Cola                49
Team #7                  40

Average Points per Person!

20.0 - Team #7
19.7 - The Motorboaters
17.0 - Chewbacca, Plain & Tall
16.3 - Kittens U.S.A.
13.2 - Binary Solo
12.8 - Assholes In Spaaace
 9.8 - Nuka-Cola

Round-by-Round Percent Correct Breakdown!

71% - Aaron Spelling (MULTIPLE CHOICE)
71% - Super Bowl Songs (MUSIC)
68% - Screamy Movie Moments (AUDIO)
63% - Colts and Saints
57% - Every American Should Know
57% - Pizza Pizza Pizza!
57% - World Wide Runway (VISUAL)
55% - Random Knowledge

Click for the Comparative Histogram of Accumulated Relative Tknowledge.

When is the quiz next week? THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 4th. Why? Because of the EJ BJ event happening Wednesday at Key Arena.

I'm pleased that we can now add "Greek fire" to our arsenal of sexual references. Even if it wasn't one before, merely suggesting it could be is enough these days to make it so.

3 Guys, 1 Cup are the firefighters.

There's something charming about people defending celebrities they like when a round casts them in a negative light. Give a category about actors who are surprisingly still finding work, ask about Christian Slater, get a fairly vocal response...

...from none other than Dick Assman.

As I mentioned, I'm also amused when the sports guys don't show up on the night I ask sports questions. Week after week they ask, "Where are the sports questions?" Then you do one round on famous sportscasters and...crickets.

Or was that sound bubble wrap?

My Bacon Strips Ar Sizzlin' at least gave it their best shot, writing down...

- New Yawk Yanker
- Tough Actin' Tinatin Guy
- Jesus Christ
- Beefstick McGoo
- Cripple Crippleson
- Catchy Catcherson
- Marv Albert

If only you'd written down Marv Albert in the right place!

High fives to everyone who got all eight film stars in the first round, including Kittens U.S.A.

That's the level of excitement I expect.

...who also drew themselves a little flag.

...that made Gonzo + Superoo jealous because they didn't have a flag.

Gonzo can't be that hard to draw.

...which meant Bottlecap Mines could claim the country for themselves.

They don't look like invaders, do they?

...at least, according to the British.

One last note before we look to the winner's circle, the music round featured covers by unsigned, indie-rock darlings Pomplamoose. Check 'em out.

Alright, show me those pretty ponies!

Mike playing with his e-mail prize.

Third Place: Clown Baby

Second Place: Will Betty Ever Be Pretty?

Grand Champeens: Binary Solo

Alright, be sure to check the bottom for a summary chart of year-to-date progress. Next month, I'll list stats by tracking number instead of most recent name so anyone who hasn't been in a week or two doesn't have to tax their memory.

Finally, what night are we meeting next week? THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 4th.

Scores!

Binary Solo                   67
Will Betty Ever Be Pretty?    59
Clown Baby                    57
3 Guys, 1 Cup                 55
Kittens U.S.A.                55
Dick Assman                   53
Bottlecap Mines               52
My Bacon Strips Are Sizzlin'  42
Just Jack                     40
Gonzo + Superoo               27

Average Points per Person!

40.0 - Just Jack
21.0 - My Bacon Strips Are Sizzlin'
18.3 - 3 Guys, 1 Cup
18.3 - Kittens U.S.A.
16.8 - Binary Solo
14.8 - Will Betty Ever Be Pretty?
14.3 - Clown Baby
13.5 - Gonzo + Superoo
10.4 - Bottlecap Mines
 8.8 - Dick Assman

Round-by-Round Percent Correct Breakdown!

84% - Actors Surprisingly Still Working
61% - 4-Letter Countries (VISUAL)
58% - Geeks Who Do It
58% - Random Knowledge
53% - Let's Play Balderdash (MULTIPLE CHOICE)
48% - Pomplamoose Covers (MUSIC)
43% - Boom Goes the Dynamite! (AUDIO)
39% - House and/or Plants

Click for the Comparative Histogram of Accumulated Relative Tknowledge.

This next one goes out to Ozzy Zion at Little Woodrow's - South Park Meadow

Click for a doughnut chart of the distribution of final scores.

Finally, the first update to year-to-date standings. I'll post these at the end of each month.

Click for the year-to-date stats for 2010.

There were so many cries of joy when I whipped out the question on The Baby-sitters Club. Clearly, there's this vein of excitement just waiting to be tapped. I will have to ask more BSC questions just so I can get that kind of reaction again. Hey, what do you think about Logan being an associate member of the club: cool or not cool?

We Freight Trained Your Mom are Logan supporters.

Hey, I'm trying a new thing with the pictures. I figure, despite the occasional size discrepancy, it puts the focus on your charming mugs.

What About La Bamba? experiencing a range of emotions.

You will let me know how you feel about this change, won't you? Of course you will.

F5 + Sheila giving their regionally-appropriate feedback.

There were a few outstanding performances through the evening worth noting. Though they didn't crack the final three, 4 Dudes and a Fat Guy with a Beard had the best opening of the night, scoring 7 out of 8 in the "Drunks Who Drink" round.

I'm glad they didn't count that one dude's chin scruff as a beard.

Asshole & The Chipmunks managed the highest score--5 for 8--in the lowest scoring round of the night, "Who Needs English?" Who knew slang was so smegging difficult?

At the end of the night, Sexual Addiction Is Real, People (With Doctors 'n Stuff) decided to make a concerted effort to leap into the winners' circle. Sadly, though they posted one point shy of a perfect round in "Random Knowledge," it just wasn't enough.

Don't let those dreams die, people!

The score for "Tardy" Roddy Piper shouldn't fool you; they were answering questions all night. They just stopped turning in papers and kept on playing for fun. Here's a tip for anyone else who wants to play but doesn't want their performance reflected on the blog: don't turn in any rounds.

On the graph, I call that flatlining.

Honestly though, I don't know why your final position should be any reflection of your enjoyment. Do Stressed Out Winos look like they're not having fun?

Of course not. They're having LOADS of fun.

Let's see who else was in the house.

Karate actually asked for more questions about China...in Chinese.

Megan's Back was way too charming for me to disqualify due to team size.

You know what Comma Iguana finds funny? This. I find it funny too.

Doesn't it look like Thing from The Addams Family invaded this pic of Gonzo & Superoo?

Also-Rans No More were also in attendance. Hehehe.

I agree, Won't Somebody PLEASE Think of Carson Daly?

Now for the people on the podium, the dominators on the dais, the prizewinners on the pedestal...

E-mail winner: Liz

Third Place: Asshole & The Chipmunks

Second Place: Sorry About My Face

Grand Champeens: Clown Baby

Come back next week to round out the first month of 2010 shows. The bar has said, if we keep packing the quiz room, they'll get the equipment necessary to expand into the rest of the bar. So let's make that happen.

Also, it looks like the offer of extending happy hour till 9 PM in the quiz room is still on!

Also, I'll be posting the monthly update for year-to-date stats next week. It will probably be just scores, and probably just for people who put in two or more showings in January. I'm thinking I'll save the humongo stat dump till the end of the quarter. If you have a different opinion, speak up.

Scores!

Clown Baby                                  68
Sorry About My Face                         67
Asshole & The Chipmunks                     66
Sexual Addiction Is Real, People
                   (With Doctors 'n Stuff)  63
What About La Bamba?                        61
Won't Somebody PLEASE Think of Carson Daly  59
4 Dudes and a Fat Guy with a Beard          54
Comma Iguana                                52
Also-Rans No More                           50
We Freight Trained Your Mom                 49
Gonzo & Superoo                             48
Megan's Back                                47
F5 + Sheila                                 46
Stressed Out Winos                          43
Karate                                      21
"Tardy" Roddy Piper                          6

Average Points per Person!

24.0 - Gonzo & Superoo
21.5 - Stressed Out Winos
19.7 - Won't Somebody PLEASE Think of Carson Daly
17.3 - Comma Iguana
16.8 - Sorry About My Face
16.7 - Also-Rans No More
13.6 - Clown Baby
12.6 - Sexual Addiction Is Real, People (With Doctors 'n Stuff)
12.2 - What About La Bamba?
11.0 - Asshole & The Chipmunks
10.8 - 4 Dudes and a Fat Guy with a Beard
 8.2 - We Freight Trained Your Mom
 7.7 - F5 + Sheila
 5.9 - Megan's Back
 4.2 - Karate
 2.0 - "Tardy" Roddy Piper

Round-by-Round Percent Correct Breakdown!

92% - Super Logos (VISUAL)
72% - My Show Is Longer (MULTIPLE)
70% - Movies For Middle-Age Sexin' (AUDIO)
65% - Random Knowledge
54% - Drunks Who Drink
42% - A Round To Die For
29% - Country That Don't Suck (MUSIC)
28% - Who Needs English?

Click for the Comparative Histogram of Accumulated Relative Tknowledge.

Quizmaster's Log, Trivialdate 2010.1.2

We've been boarded by a significant number of quizzers, so many, in fact, that I'm concerned about the ship's integrity. My chief engineer is working on the problem, but there is still the very real risk of our hull bursting at the seams. Most of the crew seem unconcerned so long as there are still enough rations to go around.

That's right, ensign, do team Slim Chance proud and get that whole thing in your mouth.

Some of the quizzers are able to perform great feats of intelligence. The members of the group called Crisis on Infinite Assholes, for example, were the top competitors twice in the evening. Their knowledge of music landed them 13 out of 16, and their experience with hair gave them 7 of 8 in the relevant categories. Similarly, the Modest Mice were the first to top their companions in combat, getting 6 of 8 in the first round, on dictators and terrorists.

Curiously unaware that Johnny Marr was one of the stars in the constellation for which they were named...

This is at least our second encounter with the members of Snooky Punched First. Computer records show their society often resorts to suggesting "Cryin' Ass Hookers" when they are at a loss for the name of a song. Though no evidence of any source for this can be found, one wonders if it is a sacred text for their people or just an inside joke.

Perhaps their worship of the goddess Courtney holds some clue.

One group, Hot Cops, appears to be from an alternate universe where Bush, not The Black Crowes, released the album Amorica.

Though not part of our historical record, this does make some kind of sense.

Like a game of intergalactic telephone, space travel can cause mutations in very common sayings. Take this phrase: "Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it, but a kiss can be even deadlier..." It seems to have a different ending depending on your universal quadrant.

...if you let it.
...if it's from me.
...if you blow it.
...with a tongue gun. (POW!!)

That last was proffered by In 7th Place, In 4th Place who may be symbiote twins.

We continue our mission, scanning for year-to-date stats. I expect to have basic reports at the end of every month and quarterly postings of all the findings to that date. Here are just a few samples after only two weeks out from starport Geekdrinkus.

Superfriends have beat an average of 8.5 teams per night.

Ledge Takedown has answered 48.75% of the questions correctly.

Superoo has an average of 21.5 points per person over both their appearances.

Snooky Punched First has made an average of 9.5 points with each use of their joker.

Quizmaster's Personal Log, Trivialdate 2010.1.2

I've composed a poem.

Roses are red
Violets are bluish
Look at these winners
Who are kangarooish...in the way they leap...into the--fuck it. Top three!

Third Place: Sorry About My Face

Second Place: Crisis on Infinite Assholes

Grand Champeens: Conan For President

And now a smattering of miscellaneous photos before the technical report from the ship's science officer.

Lucky Thirteen (Happy Birthday Joel): be careful how you pronounce "Joel" around these guys.

Tacoma International Tenor Society, the reliable T.I.T.S.

Kathleen Turner Overdrive, who have been doing experiments with art therapy.

A close-up image of one of their drawings...somehow mangled in the transmission, but still worth praise.

Knowstradumbasses..., our crack pun squad.

Scores!

Conan For President                    67
Crisis on Infinite Assholes            66
Sorry About My Face                    62
Kathleen Turner Overdrive              60
Modest Mice                            55
Slim Chance                            55
Superfriends                           53
Hot Cops                               47
In 7th Place, In 4th Place             47
Tacoma International Tenor Society     46
Snooky Punched First                   45
Knowstradumbasses...                   43
Ledge Takedown                         39
Lucky Thirteen (Happy Birthday Joel)   36
Superoo                                35

Average Points per Person!

27.5 - Modest Mice
23.5 - In 7th Place, In 4th Place
20.7 - Sorry About My Face
19.5 - Ledge Takedown
17.5 - Superoo
13.4 - Conan For President
13.3 - Superfriends
12.0 - Kathleen Turner Overdrive
11.8 - Hot Cops
11.0 - Crisis on Infinite Assholes
11.0 - Slim Chance
10.8 - Knowstradumbasses…
 9.2 - Tacoma International Tenor Society
 9.0 - Snooky Punched First
 6.0 - Lucky Thirteen (Happy Birthday Joel)

Round-by-Round Percent Correct Breakdown!

77% - Scientists Are Awesome (AUDIO)
76% - 19th Century Fox (MULTIPLE CHOICE)
58% - Cut Your Hair
56% - Batround!
52% - Random Knowledge
45% - Freud's Playlist (MUSIC)
40% - Dictators, Terrorists, Ken Burns
33% - Banned Album Covers (VISUAL)

Click for the Comparative Histogram of Accumulated Relative Tknowledge.

Sappy? Maybe. But before you judge me, let me refer you to Rule #2.

How could I not be sappy when teams are willing to hang out on the stairs just to quiz?

An astounding start to the new year, my friends. Seventeen teams has got to be a record for this room. Twenty-ten is properly kicked in the year-starting bean machine. Is that how one starts a year? I don't know; it's all for show.

Tradition or not, Hey Cousin is ready to do the kicking.

Citizen Dick took home the night despite never topping a category in points. Apparently, their consistency was enough to topple Sorry About My Face, who themselves beat everyone in the radio-themed music round and got 15 out of 16 in random knowledge. Absurd!

Other standouts included 3 Men & An Asshole who stayed crunchy in the cereal category, landing 6 of 8 correct.

You may draw your own conclusions about which is the asshole.

Superfriends also topped the other teams in two categories, scoring a near-perfect 7 of 8 in rounds on both The Beatles and athlete sex.

They've promised never to cheat on their favorite sports stars.

Speaking of which, you guys have to start giving some love to Stuart Sutcliffe and Pete Best. Just because they weren't around to record The White Album doesn't mean they weren't important. Sutcliffe is on the cover of Sgt. Pepper and plays on three songs on Anthology 1. As homework, everyone must now watch Backbeat.

Move Your Bass Cause Here Comes Treble is excused because of their musical name.

Winz0rz? Winz0rz!

The e-mail prize went to Ryan who's doing...something with it.

Third Place: Winter of Our Disco Tent

Second Place: Sorry About My Face

Grand Champeens: Citizen Dick

Two things to remember for next week: Happy hour in the trivia room is extended until 9PM; that's an extra two hours in which to get $2.50 hamburgers! Also, remember your tracking numbers. Just because I fucked up and wrote 2009 on the card, doesn't mean they aren't valid. Hell, you'll probably carry the same tracking number into 2011.

Procedural review: bring card, make up team name, write tracking number next to name, circle, get stats. I'll be tracking average score, average position, and...I don't know. What do you guys want to see? Leave me some comments.

No comments about Kurt Russel's acting; I know some girls who will take issue with that.

A few more commemorative snapshots and you're excused for the week.

Scruffy Muffs numbers are growing.

Superoo will kill you with MIND BULLETS.

Courtney Marabetta, where are you? We've got some work to do now. Come on Courtney Marabetta...

I've been playing too much Modern Warfare 2; I thought Prestige Worldwide was a reference...

Gilligan's Brewing can make beer from coconuts. FROM COCONUTS.

Really, Jesus Hates the Seahawks, tell us how you really feel.

Please Not Last Place who I have placed in the final picture slot to amuse myself.

RAW SCORES!

Citizen Dick                            72
Sorry About My Face                     71
Winter of Our Disco Tent                66
3 Men & An Asshole                      65
Courtney Marabetta                      62
Jesus Hates the Seahawks                60
Kurt Russell Is Awesome In That Movie   59
Superfriends                            59
Hey Cousin                              58
Gilligan's Brewing                      57
Scruffy Muffs                           57
Please Not Last Place                   55
Dark Matter                             51
Superoo                                 51
Move Your Bass Cause Here Comes Treble  47
Prestige Worldwide                      37
Canucks                                 30

Average Points per Person!

66.0 - Winter of Our Disco Tent
30.0 - Jesus Hates the Seahawks
25.5 - Dark Matter
25.5 - Superoo
20.7 - Courtney Marabetta
19.7 - Kurt Russell Is Awesome In That Movie
19.0 - Gilligan's Brewing
18.5 - Prestige Worldwide
18.3 - Please Not Last Place
17.8 - Sorry About My Face
16.3 - 3 Men & An Asshole
15.0 - Canucks
14.8 - Superfriends
12.0 - Citizen Dick
11.8 - Move Your Bass Cause Here Comes Treble
11.6 - Hey Cousin
 9.5 - Scruffy Muffs

Round-by-Round Percent Correct Breakdown!

82% - Big Country (SPEED)
82% - Brand Color Blind (VISUAL)
71% - Meet The Beatles
71% - Random Knowledge
55% - Athlete Sex
54% - Beavis & Butthead Forever (AUDIO)
43% - Cereal
32% - Turn Up The Radio (MUSIC)

Click for the Comparative Histogram of Accumulated Relative Tknowledge.