Seriously, it's a good idea. As proven by tonight's fourth round, North and South Dakota have little historical, cultural, or even actual worth. Sure, we'd lose Deadwood, but seeing as HBO never plans on revisiting the fabled town, who cares? Mount Rushmore could be a gift, like the Statue of Liberty. Who doesn't enjoy oversized busts?

Will Arnett and Michael Cera both came from Ontario. The province is practically responsible for one of the greatest sitcoms in TV history. The Dakotas don't even have any professional sports teams. Ontario has several!

Furthermore, Ontario is RICH. It's the wealthiest province in Canada. Can you say, "Economic crisis averted?" Ontario would be like one giant bailout for America. Clearly, this is an idea that needs to happen. Let's get moving, people.

Enough about common sense, let's recap tonight's pub quiz. Eleven teams entered, but only one emerged victorious. Scores were fairly close after the first two rounds (Nightmare-inducing Kids Movies and April Showers and Flowers (but Mostly Showers)). The Continental Drifters jumped to an early lead with a second round joker. From the kids movies round, there was a little confusion about races in The Dark Crystal. The Skeksies are the bad guys. There's ten of them. I asked for the good counterparts to the Skeksis (the yin to their yang). That would be the Mystics, kids. They both derived from the same parent race: the UrSkeks (duh). Quite a few of you mentioned the Gelflings, and while they are A race in the movie (they look like humans), they aren't THE race I was looking for. Rent the movie and watch it again. Or hop into my time machine and we'll go back to 1982 and catch it in theaters. That's what I built it for.

Round 3 was all about technology. Again, a little controversy about the wording of a question. Are you able to play Playstation 1 games on the most recent version of the Playstation 3? Yes, mostly. Some games are backwards compatible and some aren't. I gave a little leeway here. I'm also not sure why an iPhone app exists for the sole purpose of letting you know when your friends are on XBOX Live. Most people tend to be home when on their XBOX and not at home when on their phone. When I'm at work, the last thing I want to know is which of my friends are sitting at home having fun.

As mentioned above, our quiz engineers managed to wring North and South Dakota dry for enough facts to fill an entire round. North Dakota is the Saudi Arabia of wind energy. Countries have started wars over less insulting analogies.

Tonight's visual round dealt with roadside attractions. Be sure to schedule some days in Anniston, Alabama for your next vacation. It's home to the World's Largest Office Chair. Incredibly, there's been quite a battle for this coveted title. America may even lose the title to Italy. God save us.

After five, scores were still tight, save for the top three teams. The Continental Drifters still held a demanding lead, but Oxford Coma and Partially Derivative weren't going down easy. With three rounds left (and every other team's joker), this quiz was not over.

Blood! And the Things That Eat It! was the sixth round, and no team appeared squeamish at any point. This series of questions led to the highest average score of any of tonight's rounds (worth eight points, of course). Notorious for catchy commercials with earwormy music, The Gap proved to be an excellent source for tonight's second audio round. Teams listened to songs found in Gap commercials (some original and some half-assed covers by models) and were asked to identify the original recording artist. Beyonce, The La's, Madonna, The O'Jays, Donovan and Depeche Mode were all members of this exclusive fraternity.

In round eight (Random Knowledge), I learned there were very few World War 2 buffs. When I asked teams to provide the code names for four of the five Normandy beaches the Allies stormed on D-Day, almost everyone remembered Omaha. A few others remembered Utah. Many followed these answers with more state names or capitals. Although the spinoff for Babylon 5 was Crusade, my favorite wrong answer of the evening was simply "Babylon 6". It almost makes as much sense as the whole Dakotas-Ontario trade.

When the quiz dust settled, The Continental Drifters kept ahead of the joker onslaught and won by six points. In second, Oxford Coma bested Partially Derivative by a single point. Courtesy Flush led the rest of the pack, finishing seven points behind Partially Derivative.

All told, tonight was a solid pub quiz with several challenging questions. There were laughs, cries, a Milli Vanilli song, and some people who seemed to know Craiglist's "Casual Encounters" section a little too well. Come back next week for more pub quiz greatness. Meanwhile, consider my trade. Really. If Canada hardballs America, I say we give them Wyoming, too.

Your Scores:

The Continental Drifters                       67
Oxford Coma                                    61
Partially Derivative                           60
Courtesy Flush                                 53
Trivistruction                                 51
Team Zissou                                    48
Skull & (Bob) Bones                            45
Team Wild Card                                 43
Muscle Parade                                  38
No, We're Not Doing Bloody Stonehenge Tomorrow 30
No Stairs for Connor                           19