Hello, Uptown? This is Kent. I'm just calling you to, you know - about last night. Almost 20 teams? Are we talking about that same quiz that, six months ago - was lucky to get 3 bad boys on the scoreboard? Yup. Sometimes, patience pays you, but good. Sitting here after job #3, enjoying a cool glass of victory booze & orange juice - which actually turns green when the booze is UV Vodka, but still delicious - and I'm sort of beside myself with pride.

My beautiful Pour House - if they can't have 3rd, they'd rather be in last.

Quizzes like the one we've got at Uptown aren't like your ordinary evenings out. It is an outright battle - a fight to the bloody sinews of what one can withstand for entertainment. Surrounded by douchebags, maybe even the same jerks who pushed you around in school [or afterwards, when the bar closes] - ours is a sandy-teethed skirmish.

Our heavy hitters tonight stayed on top of the scoreboard throughout most of the evening, they of Sitting in the Dead Zone - already seasoned Uptown professionals [sitting in the back corner keeps the Coors Goblins away] - kept a pace unprecedented in our tenure. They aced 2 rounds, threw down a 14xJoker on Round 2, and had a strong finish in Random Knowledge as well. Only God Save The Quiz, who admitted that the 2 Brits on their squad didn't really help with the British Movies round, gave them a run for the top prize.

Elsewhere, team Pour House came up for the rising. This team has stood with me since the very beginning of this wonderful and sometimes nightmarish quiz, and they were in the cleanest form I've seen from them in some time. Tied for 4th with more recent regulars and stalwarts Renton, Sickboy, Spud, Allison & Begbie - both teams were all bloody gums and hungry like the wolf. Wolves. They were ... Notorious.

Renton, Sickboy, Spud, Allison & Begbie right before the junk kicked in. Cary is wearing a cowboy hat. It is filled with cowboy hate.

While my memory is still serving it's purpose, the Bru Cru was also standing tall this evening. With an ace in Round 5 and a steady scoring pattern of awesome, this is another regular squad who keeps the Uptown clock ticking. Tied with them were team Rural Jurors, those catty quiz ladies who shared their table with a dude tonight. If nothing else, this squad lands more bonus emails per capita chez Uptown than any other. And they're late all the time. That doesn't stop them from being almost uncannily cute.

Still Sitting in the Dead Zone, and kicking the shit out of you whilst doing so. God damn, this team was on fire tonight.

We're not like Denver so much here in the Burque, and many teams swap their names out from week to week. We've got a handful here at Uptown who keep their name ingloriously or otherwise. It does makes it easier for me to remember you, folks. Just saying.

Those Rural Jurors, waiting for me to fuck up their name every week. Note, aforementioned dude is not in the picture. That's what I'm talking about.

My Wednesdays have grown out of control. What used to be a difficult, fledgling quiz has turned into something quite beyond my comprehension - and I am totally cool with that. I wish I could stick around longer and drink with you guys [or return to the Sunset - their karaoke is seriously scary in the most awesome of ways] - but my new DJ gig commands that I slip away as soon as I can. It isn't because I love you any less, Uptown. It is because I need money. I hope you understand.

Justin in a bonus email win worthy of a squeezy, yellow erection with mustard.

Johnny Come Latelys, with a solid joker at the zero hour for 3rd.

God Save the Quiz, in their last bid pre-Geek Bowl. Jason's is definitely on my short list of teams to watch out for at the Oriental this year.

They quizzed up and never left the top slot on the spreadsheet. Sitting in the Dead Zone in an inarguably strong 1st. Well played, folks.

Still Sitting in the Dead Zone          77
God Save the Quiz                       73
Johnny Come Latelys                     65
Pour House                              63
Renton, Sickboy, Spud, Allison & Begbie 63
A Baby Sold Me Weed                     62
I'm Bringing Sexy Back Hair Back        62
Holy Chaka Khan, Batman!                57
Team Name Here                          57
Bru Cru                                 55
Rural Jurors                            55
Barnopolis                              51
O'Niells Refugees                       50
UNM Newbies                             47
Rojitas                                 38
Chippers & Slickers                     35
Peanut Butter Jelly Time                32
G-Vara                                  28
Army of One                             23