Yes, today I am nursing a tiny hangover courtesy of the tiny pints of Kilkenny the scanity-clad Kilkenny ladies were passing out last night. Caused quite a stir in the ol' Hound.

For the first time ever I decided to settle a tie by offering a dance-off or tie-breaker question. The tied teams were Wolves These Days and I Have A Prescription for that. The Prescriptions (and the crowd) wanted a dance-off, but the Wolves ardently refused. They did bring up the valid point that if they wanted to dance, they'd go to a club. If they wanted to play pub quiz, they'd come to a quiz. I felt like Pontius Pilate, torn between the crowd and what I felt was right.

In the end I made it 2 out of 3, with two questions and the dance-off, which automatically went to the Prescriptions without them so much as having to bend a knee. The Wolves won both questions, however, and ended up taking second place. Next time, I may just flip a coin and that will be that, so bring your tap shoes, just in case.

If Only There Was A Way To Combine Dancing And Yelling Answers...

Tebow                                              71
Wolves These Days                                  64
I Have A Prescription For That                     63
Turd Ferguson                                      62
Dieter Laser's One Man Band                        56
We Don't Carry Nobody's Pads                       55
Unpainted Arizona                                  54
Eastbound and Down                                 53
Sorry for Partying                                 49
BTRNU                                              38
Condoms and Rattlesnakes...                        25
Toates Magoats                                     23

As the scores reflect, it was a pretty close quiz overall, with visiting team Tebow taking first after Round 8. Dieter Laser's One Man Band started strong, but eventually fell due to lack of help from his friends.

I’ve only been doing the quizmaster thing for a little over a month, but I’ve gotta admit that I’m having a blast. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in that time, it’s that each bar’s got its own vibe to it. Some quizzes are mellow, low-key events, while others are an excuse to act smart while being loud and ingesting large quantities of alcohol.

You guys at the Irish Hound definitely do not qualify as mellow, especially when I tell you things like Spain borders Morocco — lawdy, did some of you howl in rage! I looked it up because I remembered something in your favor: Gibraltar is controlled by Britain, not Spain. You know what I found out? Spain controls two autonomous cities, Cueta and Melilla, both of which are on the African mainland and bordered by…Morocco! So your whining is baseless! Baseless, I say! Despite the bitchin’ on that particular count, I had a blast filling in for Andrew; you guys are a hell of a lot of fun.

We had a nice big group, and the scores were, in my limited experience, pretty damn close. They were also a little low, but that visual round ate you guys alive. And who can blame you? It was by no means easy. Many of you thought there was a Tyler Hanson (I fell for that too), which simply means that your taste in music isn’t shitty enough to know otherwise. Kudos. You made up for the visual round, however, by beating the Rocky Balboa audio round like Drago beat Apollo Creed, averaging just under 6 points for that round. In fact, both audio rounds went well for you. You know your audio clips, it seems.

Unofficial Awards Time!
Team Name of the Week is shared by Backdoor = No Babies and Teenage Enema Nurses (In Bondage). Can’t go wrong with either one. Hmmmm. I just realized that both of those names are kinda anal-centric. Not sure what that says about me.
The Smarty Pants Award goes to Laser Twattoo Removal, the only team to recognize the audio clip of “He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)” by The Crystals. Nicely done.
The Shocking Revelation of the Week is the fact that Ray Bradbury is still alive. No shit?! Really?
The Hive Mind Award goes to all of you. When asked what knight was responsible for the musical version of “Sunset Boulevard,” every single one of you said Elton John (although three teams scratched it out in favor of the correct answer, Andrew Lloyd Webber). Apparently the hive mind hears “British guy who does musicals,” translates it to “gay British guy,” and goes straight to Elton John.
The You Just Made an Android Off Itself Award is shared by The Leftovers and Adopt-A-Kitten, who decided that Marvin the Paranoid Android (from Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy) was named “Tyler the Robot.” Way to go, guys; your disdainful ignorance was the deciding factor in an android’s tragic suicide.
The Missed Opportunity/Warm Fuzzies Award goes to me. I had two people come up to me and ask if I did parties or weddings. I told them Geeks Who Drink is happy to do private events, but apparently they just like my music and/or smartass banter. Unfortunately, I don’t have my own equipment, and thus can’t work in such a capacity, but I love the fact that you guys seemed to be diggin’ my music selection.
The Answer of the Week, Part 1 goes to Condoms & Rattlesnakes: Two Things We Don’t Fuck With. They didn’t recognize “He Hit Me” by The Crystals, but they came amusingly close with the answer “He Beats My Ass.”
The Answer of the Week, Part 2 goes to Nurses Who Drink. When asked who wrote Les Miserables and The Hunchback of Notre Dame, they answered the Marquis de Sade. The Marquis may have been a kinky dude, but I doubt that even he was twisted enough to have a hunchback fetish.

This week’s E-mail Bonus Question winner was Christen T. I didn’t get a pic of her, but I assure you that she was a cutie. If you’re single and like some pub quiz action, then come by on Mondays and throw down the mack attack. Unless she has a boyfriend, in which case you might get your ass kicked.

Final Scores:

Backdoor = No Babies                                       64
Carlton Banks                                              62
Teenage Enema Nurses (In Bondage)                          61
Laser Twattoo Removal                                      59
The Leftovers                                              56
Turd Fergasson                                             55
Cheese & Beans                                             49
Condoms & Rattlesnakes: Two Things We Don’t Fuck With      49
Adopt-A-Kitten                                             48
Poop                                                       48
Kentucky Derby                                             32
Nurses Who Drink                                           22

I don't know what it means, and I should have asked, but the team name Frailed and Vajazzled is my new favorite. Actually I just Googled it, and it means to decorate one's vagina (or vajayjay, if you're under 21) with crystals or bling. W.T.Fuck? I didn't know that area needed the extra advertising glitz. I understand ugly guys needing to add bling to attract a mate, but the vagina? If they're seeing the vajazzle, you've probably already sealed the deal. Now I want to know what frailed means...

I was in a snap-happy mood and took a lot of pictures, so we'll let those do the talking right after this break from your local scoring network.

Those Are Some Sweet Rims Down There

Carlton Banks                               68
We Jam Econo                                67
We Eat Glue                                 59
Frailed and Vajazzled                       58
Condoms and Rattlesnakes...                 56
Full On Double Rainbow                      55
100% Recycled                               50
Pabst Smear                                 49
Slap N Pickle                               49
Effervescent Rimjob Rake Pokemon Thankfully 47
The Beets                                   43

fin.

In the first few rounds I have no problem pronouncing Fyodor Dostoyevsky, but you hit me with it in Round 8, after a few pints... it comes out like 'Fighter Dosbsdfjkhsdjkhfd'.

It was an unofficial meeting of the minds at the Irish Hound, with many of the recent winning teams congregating to see who was tops. In the end it was Putting the fun back in quiet, who were slumming from their usual quiz at the Rio Grande. They were quiet, but coolly efficient with the win.

Was Everyone Busy Bandaging Their Firecracker Wounds?

Putting the fun back in quiet                  64
Amazing supply handjobs for charity            60
Shit Sandwich                                  57
Landon Donovan's Love Child                    54
3-Peater Laser                                 52
Thank God for my iPhone                        29

In this quiet Cherry Creek/Congress Park neighborhood, excitement and fun ensued. The group at Irish Hound appeared to be devout followers of their usually QM, Andrew. Unfortunately he was indisposed this fine evening and they were blessed with the presence of QM Steven B.

It was a battle to the end and luckily for all of you there was no tie. If you recall, during the Musicals round, I vowed we would do a dance off tie breaker to the theme from “Dirty Dancing.” I imagined one of you, arms spread widely, head tilted back with eyes closed and spinning in circles to “I’ve haaaaad the time of my liiiiife …” Darn it. That would have been fun!

Thanks for havin me tonite Hound!
-Steven B.

The big winner of the email prize (Hobo Campfire flavored Gum) Ben. Good job Ben.

Quizlings displaying their awesomeness and safety mindedness!

Brian and company giving us their best “Blue Steel” pose.

The BIG winners, Team Cheater Laser. An astonishing display of teamwork.

How YOU doin? Good job guys

Amazing PopAShot concentration!

Wow!

Cheater Laser						74
Slap N Pickle						71
Anyong = Hello			  		        69
Feel it out and then talk to yourself in a Whisper	66
Wanabee Winners					        59
J&M							58
Smarter than the Average Bear		         	56
Pabst Smear						54
Gary Coleman Lived A Short Life			        46

I know that's an odd exclamation, but my quiz is usually very dry and drama-free. Teams show up, do their business in a quiet manner, and then depart satisfied into the night, regardless of where they placed. And the next day, when I blog, there's very little to report.

But not last night.

Relative newcomers Dieter Laser made waves when they were bobbing in first- with 7 people at their table! I explained that they would either have to forfeit their Joker or have someone leave the table, so they gave their friend the boot.

Side note: Regardless if the extra person is playing or not, you can't have more than 6 people at your table! I don't care if the extra person is a comotose vegetable, wheel 'em into the pool room until the quiz is over. Here it is, etched in iron, so there will be no more confusion.

So some teams were still unhappy that the Lasers had the extra person through 5 rounds, and they cried shenanigans. SHENANIGANS! I need a 'shenanigans alarm' I can ring when these situations arise. Second placers You ain't got no pancake mix were actually so pissed they called the Lasers the 'C' word!

That's right, cheaters. Naturally the Lasers took umbrage, and even offered up their bar tab to the second place team, so they could walk out with their reputations intact. This is where I stepped in and told them to keep it, they used their one warning and I'm sure they won't have more than 6 people again. But going forward (even though I always go over the rules at the beginning) if you have more than 6 people at your table for even one round, you forfeit the Joker. Which means you lose.

When The Dust Settled...

Dieter Laser                                 70
You ain't got no pancake mix!                61
Kitty x6 Touch It                            57
We Love AO                                   50
Hot For Teacher                              50
Caveat Hemptor                               47
Prestige Worldwide                           46
Red in the face                              46
Pabst Smear                                  45
Rattlesnake and Condoms...                   44
Is that a Vuvuzella in your pocket...        42
Vuvulelass                                   35
The Greyhound                                33
AA All Stars                                 19

Last night's quiz was damn close. Well, first place was pretty locked up, but the next 3 spots were separated by only a point. Team Dis-Ass-Ster in Progress lost out on a bar tab due to some conflicting soccer knowledge (or lack thereof). Here's how Will and his mustache felt about his teammate Shawn costing them some free booze:

A tougher quiz than usual; it turns out a lot of teams don't know the works of John Williams, nor do they have microscopic vision to decipher the visual round. Get some bionic upgrades, hosers.

This Is Actually A Secret Code To My Masters

Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor                               60
Gobias Industries                                               51
Hot For Teacher                                                 50
Dis-Ass-Ster In Progress                                        49
In A Pickel [sic]                                               47
Dieter Laser                                                    46
Once Every 4 Years 0 Becomes Nil                                45
Grumpy and Happy                                                43
Judo Chop to the Balls                                          41
Free Candy For Kids                                             40
Condoms and Rattlesnakes Two Things We Never Fuck With          38
I Got Worms                                                     35
Totally, Completely Without a Chance                            24

Here's a free strategy tip for ya: The top 5 teams all saved their Joker for the final round. Just sayin'.

Perhaps you think that title has some clever double reference to the quiz: it doesn't. There was a power outage (perhaps no one could shut the fuck up about the explosion at your work, either) and since the neighborhood was out of power, many people turned to the Irish Hound for dinner and libations. Don't ask me how the Hound still had power, glittering away in a blackened neighborhood. Maybe they have some secret fusion reactor in the walk-in cooler. Busted!

Despite the crowded setting we had a robust quiz, nice and close right up to the end. The Beets returned from their absence to take first place. I better not find out they've been messing around with another quiz, or it's over.

How It All Went Down

The Beets                                 66
Kitty Likes To Scratch                    63
Who Runs Denver's Electricity, BP?        59
123 Jump                                  52
Willie B Hardigan                         51
Ichi Ban Godzilla                         51
Plowhorse                                 48
We love beer                              28
61 Caddies                                8

In case you were wondering, that's what FUBU doesn't stand for. But that was a decent guess coming from two white guys.

The most entertaining part of the quiz actually came directly after, when we were loitering around out front of the Irish Hound. A (hopefully) drunk man came out and began yelling at us to get away from his metallic orange Seabring convertible. He then told us he was just joking, and then backed slowly out of the parking lot, holding an imaginary gun at us. With a cackle he sped off onto 6th avenue, to continue his night of madness. He was basically the real world equivelant of Michael Scott. It makes me feel good to know guys like that are out there behind the wheel when I'm riding my bike...

Some Heartfelt Memorial Scores

Bitch, You Breakfast                              74
The Johnsons                                      64
Trivia Is Hard                                    60
Beach Party Vietnam                               59
Dieter Laser                                      58
Thirsty Armadillos                                55
Fart Face                                         53
B+B                                               45
Angels                                            08

So some teams didn't want their pictures taken for the blog, if you can believe that! Yes, I wanted them to be nude, but I'm an artist. It was going to very tasteful. I had a bowl of fruit and a chaise lounge.

And finally, to the woman sitting at the bar with the 80-lb bedazzled purse who informed me that I mispronounced Christian Louboutin's name: I fucking hope so.