Greetings from the Cantina.

Thanks to Rob and Max and the shots and pitcher of beer, I felt like a member of the Mos Eisley Cantina Band by the end of the night.

I was all set to get everybody’s thought on last weekend’s Beck-a-palooza but I figured all the honor had been restored when the first round was “Words that don’t rhyme with “vagina.”

Lessons from a quiz past:

• In the ‘80’s, it was Funky Cold Medina, today it’s getting roofied. Oh, Tone-Loc, you charming date-rapist scamp.
• After listening numerous times, I can confirm that it was indeed Fred Astaire, and not Taco, singing “Putting on the Ritz.”
• Just kidding, I didn’t, but I sure am awed by the inordinate amount of Taco fans (the musical artist, not the food nor crude genitalia term.)
• Astute quizzers could have easily guessed which German words real or shit based on my ability to pronounce them without giggling.
• “Kippenkloppe?” Pure comedy.
• Best incorrect French electronic duo: “Le Retards” (pronounced ruh-TARDS, of course.)
• Also, “Shawshank Re-dumb-tion” does not exist.
• It is fitting that MorningStar is both a term for Satan and a brand of soy-meat, cause that stuff tastes like hell.
• …..
• (waiting for the rim shot.)
• Harvey Danger shout-out > New Radicals shout out. Discuss.
• I checked, Team Jobs and Sarah Jessica Parker did not win the Triple Crown. She finished third at The Preakness.

That’s it for me, kids. Have yourselves a week filled with peace, love, and whatever else you desire. Remember, next week Harpo’s begins the race for the free keg of Boulder Beer. Enjoy the pictures.

The Cats in the Money

Steve is Our 4th Favorite Kind of “Jobs”: 1st Place Glorious footnotes of a team name down below. Also, it is always wise to not question the math of the quizmaster.

Eurolunch: 2nd Place Well played, team. Well played. For your near-domination, please enjoy the pub cash and a bacon air freshener.

Smoked, Fried, & Mission Accomplished?: 3rd Place See, I told ya beers were on me tonight.

The Rest of the Best

Scores!

Steve Is Our 4th Favorite Kind of Jobs..67
EuroLunch...............................66
Smoked Fried & Mission Accomplished?....65
Jesus is Well Hung......................64
Roger Clemens is Hung like a Mouse......64
Medium Pace.............................59
Dutch Rudders...........................59
Dukes of Valmont........................58
Keanu Reeves Fan Club...................55
Brock Lesnar............................55
Empty Pockets...........................55
No Show Fabien..........................53
ManBearPig..............................50
Rafiki Was in the Lion King.............47
Dogs with Hats in Fish Eye Lenses.......12

The good times just keep rolling….

I like to carry myself with a certain amount of decorum, as you all might recognize, and last night fit right in.

There were $1 Prairie Fire shots, camel-fucking, and a pretty spot on definition of “Santorum” (For those unfamiliar with “santorum”, check here.)

There was also an awesome Canadian provincial battle. New Brunswick v. Ontario, Sharks v. Jets. Look for it on pay-per-view.

Pay attention to this little gift from Harpo’s:

Starting in the month of September, Harpo’s will be giving a free keg of Boulder Beer to the team that has the highest aggregate score for the month. That’s right a free keg just for showing up every week and being super-duper geeky. I’ll announce the winner on the blog following the 9/28 quiz. Show up!

Let’s find out what we learned last night:

• A pound is a pound is a pound. Be it oil, water, or santorum.
• Of all those beautiful, bearded noisemakers, I’m willing to bet Michael MacDonald is the one who plows through all the blow and hookers and just won’t leave your couch for weeks.
• And won’t stop singing “It Keeps You Running” whilst playing Mario-Kart.
• I can’t help but think those Hostess snacks are just some 12 year old’s joke on us.
• “Ding Dongs,” “Ho Ho’s,” “Sno-Balls.”
• (giggle)
• Thanks to the Dutch Rudders, I have spent too much time thinking about Mario and Princess Toadstool’s sex life.
• I’ve concluded that when he does rescue her and she doesn’t get kidnapped fifteen minutes later, he’s just going to be disappointed. It’s been built up too much.
• Stick with Yoshii. He’s solid, dependable, and puts out whenever.
• Greatest sketch comedy show ever: Kids in the Hall.
• Discuss amongst yourselves and in the comments.
• No, the CFL does not play for the “Politeness Cup.”
• And, yes, “Roughriders” are also condoms. Good job, Canada.
• I may have been a bit rough on Katy Perry last night. Yes that song is terrible in that “can’t-get-it-out-of-your head-pretty-sure-this-is-how-the-voices-start-telling-me-to-kill” kinda way. But at least it’s listenable.
• The people that did those parodies will be the ones the voices tell me to get first.
• Don’t forget to renew your subscription to Opera America.

That’s all for now, kids. Take care of yourselves this week. I confirmed with the Dukes that we’ll do your bar mitzvah together. A quizmaster, the Dukes and matzoh, hot damn!

The Cats in the Money!

Dutch Rudders: 1st Place.

Dukes of Valmont: 2nd Place.

Smoked, Fried, and Scrambled: 3rd Place.

The Rest of the Best!

Jesus Barbu Canadien

Eurolunch

Obama’s Not A Muslim But He Does Fuck Camels

Smirkin’ Merkins

Angry Beavers

Medium Pace

Sam from Jesus Barbu Canadien took home the email bonus prize which was, um, a, uh, ya know, I’m really not sure. It looked like a placemat of playing cards with samurais. Enjoy!

Brian may have lost the chug-off on a technicality but he wore it proud. You’re drinking on me next week!

Scores!

Dutch Rudders.................................75
Dukes of Valmont*.............................66
Smoked Fried and Scrambled....................66
Jesus Barbu Candien...........................63
Eurolunch.....................................62
Obama's Not A Muslim But He Does Fuck Camels..61
Smirkin Merkins...............................60
Medium Pace...................................50
Angry Beavers.................................50
Curried Colombians............................48
Turd Ferguson.................................12
Cake Farts....................................10
*won Chug-Off

Quiz was returned to normalcy last night. No tea parties, no ambulances, just plenty of geeks and $1 tequilla sunrises.

If you missed last week, I took some liberties with a certain congressional hopeful and he was kind enough to point out my ignorance and lack of counting skills. For that, I apologize. A more accurate count for his tea victory party was roughly 30-40, not 13. So it was roughly 1/3 the size of our quiz party. Take that for what its worth.

Now back to the dick jokes.

Back to school week, from what I hear, and there is no better cure for that school daze than a hangover and some new knowledge about Tennessee, squealing like a pig, and names that should belong to porn stars.

The Things We Learned Last Night:

• The Grand Ol’ Opry has broadcast since 1925. Kiss-Yer-Cousin has been broadcast since the early 19th century.
• Round 2 was probably the only time you’ll hear two songs featuring the legendary Sammy Hagar.
• NeNe Leakes. Surprisingly not a porn name and that’s a damn shame.
• I had no idea Mr. Pricklepants was a Toy Story character. Time to give my unit a new nickname.
• How about “Sir Richard McPuffaloo?”
• I worry when no one recognizes Ziggy Stardust but most everybody gets Hooray for Boobies.
• Is there a philosopher named O’Reilly or is that the only Fox host you know? Pinko lefties watching yer lamestream media. Sheesh.
• Yep, I said “IPod,” not “IPhone.” Sematics? Maybe.
• Marky Mark will no longer say hello to any octopus’ mother.

Take care of yourselves out there. I’ll see ya next week. If you see any Republican candidates for the Colorado’s 2nd district, say hello to their mothers for me.

The Cats in the Money!

Miri Likes Ice Cream: 1st Place That’s Miri on the right. She likes ice cream.

Medium Pace: 2nd Place Well played on Round 5. Well Played.

Wookie Bukkake Souvlaki: 3rd Place One man. 75 points. Epic.


The Rest of The Best

Dutch Rudders

Dukes of Valmont

Smoked, Fried & Back to School

Connor Knows

Team Nomad

Angry Beavers Happy birthday, Cassidy!

She Endo’d My car!

Party Fowl

Home Skillet

Damn Those Midget Plumbers!

The Fake tits

Dave from She Endo’d My Car took home the email bonus prize and he loved it!

Courtesy of Kaitlin from Dutch Rudders is this portrait of Burt Reynolds. Yes, Burt Reynolds.

Scores!

Miri Likes Ice Cream……………………...83
Medium Pace…………………………….........78
Wookie Bukkake Souvlaki…………..….75
Dutch Rudders…………………………........74
Dukes of Valmont………………………......72
Smoked, Fried & Back to School…66
Connor Knows……………………………........59
Team Nomad……………………………..........56
Angry Beavers…………………………........52
She Endo-ed My Car…………………….....50
Party Fowl…………………………………........46
Home Skillet……………………………….......42
Damn Those Midget Plumbers……………34
The Fake Tits………………………………......28
Dezzie Does Dallas…………………………...15

Wow. Apparently there was some sort of election last night. The primaries were on and Boulder’s Stephen Bailey ( R ) chose to have his victory party at Harpo’s. Right in the middle of our quiz. I’m all for democracy and such, but fuck you, man. There’s a time and a place for everything. That time and place ain’t our quiz.

I just thought the balloons and streamers were for me but no. My thoughts on the victory party:

• It looked like all 13 Boulder republicans were there.
• His base is old, white people, save for the 13-year old girl who looked like she wouldn’t vote for the dude.
• Old white people shouldn’t stay up too late or drink too much. (see last picture)

Good luck being the bi-annual sacrificial lamb for Colorado’s second district.

P.S. Jared Polis is gay, rich, public school educated, and successful. He’s your axis of evil personified. I think he put a mosque at Ground Zero. And he’s still gonna win by 20 points.

Apologies for the political wonkery.

Here’s what we learned after I got done telling everybody about my federally funded abortion, wicked hot gay sex with a marine, and how my first grade English teacher who wore a burka and wiped his ass with an American flag. Fuck yeah, Liberty:

• Switcheroo was fun. Rum is made from sugar cane and you will rue drinking too much.
• Acceptable answers also included “rum/cum” and “rum/rim.”
• Don’t give me that “Daft Punk” bullshit. That isn’t the answer. No one says “The Staples Singers!” whenever House of Pain’s “Jump Around” comes on.
• Not saying mother was Gertrude Stein’s lesbian lover or she wasn’t. I’m just saying her hashish fudge recipe isn’t good for shit.
• You guys sure know your movie weapons.
• No joke. The literary mash-ups were awesome.
• Go listen to Warren Zevon.
• Since it cost you first place, “Cyclists for Stain”, I will say this for you: “Fuck Bob Dylan.”
• I will never say that again. Ever.
• -15 points to everyone who listed all “Jersey Shore” cast members.
• Carl Weathers has a perfect moustache.

You know the drill, kids. Take care of yourselves out there. Remember that quiz starts at 7:30 next week because my pimp has me working the happy hour shift. Enjoy the photographic evidence.

The Cats in the Money!

Schriberty is Schmosmerity: 1st Place

Cyclists for Stalin: 2nd Place

Dukes of Valmont: 3rd Place

The Rest Of The Best!

Jesus is Well Hung

Teabagger Jesus

Slowlo Shiner

Smoked, Fried, & Rejected

Eurolunch

The Vote Down Stephen Baileys

Nice Job Gravity. Next Time Land On The Palins

Medium Pace

Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Condoms

Tres Amigos and Tea Bag or not Tea Bag

Happy Madison

Steve took home the email prize, TERRIFYING EYES!

”Republicans can’t hold their liquor.” Or “The Bailey party was so exciting, I nearly passed out.” Your choice. In all seriousness, I wish her a quick recovery.

Scores!

Schriberty is Schmosmerity......................79
Cyclists For Stalin.............................77
Dukes of Valmont................................73
Jesus Is Well Hung..............................71
Teabagger Jesus.................................67
Slowlo Shiner...................................65
Smoked, Fried & Rejected........................63
Euro Lunch......................................62
The Vote Down Stephen Baileys...................62
Nice Job Gravity. Next Time Land on the Palins..61
Medium Pace ....................................59
Where We're Going We Don't Need Condoms.........55
Tea Bag or Not Tea Bag..........................51
Happy Madison...................................51
Team Herpes.....................................48
Tres Amigos.....................................36
The Barking Dogs................................33

Back from paradise and into quiz heaven. Thanks for having me back. It’s true, I was in Costa Rica. It was awesome. Sorry for not bringing back any monkeys. You can’t just lure them into the van with some candy. They’re smarter than that. I would like to thank Tina and Tavie for keeping the boat afloat for me.

Enough about me, let’s see what we learned last night.

• Anne Rice must’ve reasoned that if Twilight is all the rage, there must be no god, and that facebook is a good place to let everyone know.
• Props to Smoked, Fried & Levi Lied for knowing their Elastica.
• No props for many people confusing Sonic Youth for Hole.
• It is decided, Round 3 definitely needed more Ewok.
• Crackers is crackers. Sure, your mock apple pie will taste better with graham crackers, but saltines will do in a pinch. Pepperidge Farms, too, if your some sort of bougie baby.
• THE MIRTHMOBILE BELONGED TO GARTH. END OF DISCUSSION!
• My favorite answers for City to City: V-(scribble, scribble)-Z.
• You violate Rules 2 & 3, I leave Whitney Houston stuck in your head all night. Your welcome.
• Even after all these years, Bleda is still living in Atilla’s shadow.
• It’s true. Donald Rumsfeld has no dick.

Thanks for kicking Tuesday’s ass for me. Go reward yourselves with the new Arcade Fire album. Take care of each other until next time.

The Cats in the Money!

Dukes of Valmont: 1st Place 79 points isn’t too shabby.

Bob Deadly, CEO: 2nd Place We may never agree on Bob Dylan, but we’ll always have Talking Heads.

Smoked, Fried & Levi Lied: 3rd Place I almost bumped y’all to second just for giving me the opportunity to rip on the Palin brood.

The Rest of The Best:

Shark Week Every Week, 4th place every week.

We Found These Answers on Wikileaks They also found pictures of my mom, the Maltese Falcon, herpes, and my spank bank. Hoo boy. Apologies for all of those.

Eurolunch Tara may have had the quickest draw in the history of bonus questions with her Star Trek win. Kudos, that was impressive.

I Heart Areolas Me, too. I just had mine darkened. It has done wonders for my self-esteem.

Dutch Rudders Trevor, sorry you were unable to procure the bacon wheel.

Cat With Lime Hat Impressive score for not even filling out the visual round.

Medium Pace Teammates come, teammates go, but the shampoo bottle remains.

Captain Abortion and the Coat Hanger Cowboys Maybe not the heroes we need, but just maybe the heroes we deserve.

Dave’s a Pussy aka Dave isn’t saying the name out loud aka Yes, it sure is a shame that sharks only get a week. (The name in question is in the scores.)

WISCO I like you guys. You guys alright. Enjoy the pitcher.

Brittany took home the bonus email Bacon Wheel. It was also her birthday. Let’s wish her a happy birthday and also the best of luck in Nashville. Like Ryan Adams says, Tennessee sucks in the summer.

Scores!

Dukes of Valmont..................................................79
Bob Deadly, CEO...................................................75
Smoked, Fried, & Levi Lied........................................73
Shark Week Every Week.............................................66
We Found These Answers on Wikileaks...............................65
Eurolunch.........................................................65
I Heart Areolas...................................................60
Dutch Rudders.....................................................55
Cat With Lime Hat.................................................51
Medium Pace.......................................................46
Captain Abortion and the Coat Hanger Cowboys......................46
What? Black People Get A Whole Month and Sharks only get a Week?..45
Wisco.............................................................40

This is Tavie, coming to you live from the “Quizmaster Cave of Solitude and Security.” The first thing the waitress said to me was “Good luck, everyone LOVES Dave.” Great start. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Dave, but it’s never easy for a sub to live up to the image of the regular quizmaster. There are those bumps in the road, like a brief oversight on which gift certificate to give to which team, a camera dying, and terrible, TERRIBLE phone that doesn’t have an “enhanced retna display.” However, I do have a hipster camera app. It’s not at all the same. First, the pre-dead battery pictures:

I like to be popular so I have drinking contests instead of tie-breakers. I also drink Slim Fast and vomit because skinny girls are popular.

In 2nd place, 3 Way Jesus’s picture looked like the best possible image you could get from arranging the bunny ears on that 1983 TV in your basement. Slightly better is the third place team’s:

Thank goodness Dave is going to be back next week. He’ll not only come home with a gaggle of howler monkeys, but also a perfect sunburn.

SCORES

Eurolunch                                         68
Amniotic Fluid Cleanup on Table 28                66
3 Way Jesus                                       66 +1
Working Fer Chumps                                64
Dukes of Valmont                                  63
Girls with Low Self-Esteem                        61
Smoked, Fried, and Leaky Documents                60
Cleopatra’s Asp                                   58
Salty Dogs                                        58
Bubbas                                            46
Butters Bottom Bitches                            44
Either I Get My Juicebox or My Wee-Wee Comes Out  42
Medium Pace                                       41

Due to a grievous camera malfunction, Dave may never know what he missed…

With my lovely assistant Crickett (someone’s gotta do the drinking!), I would like to thank you all for welcoming me in! The sheer energy of the teams was astounding, with tight scores and an amazing upset for the win. Quite impressive. For those of you who missed the drama, this is a prime moment to remind you of one golden feature: The Power of the Joker. Astounding, it is. Pure genius, perhaps. It is because of it that the highly anticipated 1st place team found themselves in a cold, lonely 4th place at Quiz end. The drama! The pain! The glory! Huzzah!

Chris was the winner of tonight’s Internet Bonus Question:

Interestingly enough, he stated that his girlfriend had given the nose sharpener to Geeks. Which just goes to demonstrate the great Circle of Geekdom. Dukes of Valmont played a competitive game, dominating in 1st place until round eight. They were casually ousted by Tonight on Lifetime: From Jailbait to Jailbird: The Lindsay Lohan Story, who rounded their Quiz out with a stunning 15 point Joker. Eurolunch slipped past the competition to take 2nd, leaving 3rd place open to the mysterious team of One Dave Down. The team with the hands-down best name of the night , Glory Hole Jesus took 5th, followed by Smoked, Fried, and Capped (which sounds like a fantastic way to spend a Tuesday), who was followed in turn by Jesus is Well Hung. Hmmmmmmmmm… you all seem to know a lot about Jesus’ privates. Just sayin’. Meduim Pace suffered the game with a curious penmanship issue, leading me to read their name as Meduim Pale for the majority of the game. Thanks for the neat correction! *smiles* Quiz on Your Face made me think of other fancy things. When Dave promised the howler monkeys, he probably didn’t think of What Cunts Want, Starring Mel Gibson, although some mysteries are better left that way. I fought with the pronunciation all night long, so much so that Schmishmortion wrote a parenthetical guide, indicating that it “rhymes with abortion”. Toying with history, The Learned Hand Job schooled us all-- apparently the Learned Hand was an early American judge. Better Late Than Never learned a valuable lesson during the Quiz… keep a consistent team name! Actually, Michael was a charming gentleman who’s enthusiasm proved infectious. That, and he showed me the neat scars on his leg from post-breaking surgery. Pretty cool! Doobie, doobie doooooooo… The coveted last place prize thusly went to No Show Fabien. Enjoy that pitcher! Way to bring up the rear!

Let’s take a peek at the teams, shall we?

Not all of the Dukes of Valmont got in the photo, and I had to remind them that I am their personal paparazzi. I almost sang some Lady GaGa to them, but withheld for personal reasons. Game well played!

When I asked their team name, they said, “the good Jesus”. Obviously the Glory Hole Jesus. Dirty birds!

Either they really like Burt Reynolds, or their facial hairs grow at a Medium Pace.

I’m gonna Quiz all over you, baby. Let me Quiz On Your Face!

What Cunts Want, Starring Mel Gibson. ‘Nuff said.

Let’s check the numbers:

Tonight on Lifetime:  From Jailbait to Jailbird:  The Lindsay Lohan Story  77
Eurolunch                                                                  76
One Dave Down                                                              75
Dukes of Valmont                                                           74
Glory Hole Jesus                                                           70
Smoked, Fried, & Capped                                                    67
Jesus is Well Hung                                                         67
Medium Pale/Pace                                                           60
Quiz on Your Face                                                          59
What Cunts Want, Starring Mel Gibson                                       58
Schmishmortion                                                             57
The Learned Hand Job                                                       56
Better Late Than Never                                                     48
Itsaroboticbear                                                            47
Butters Bottom Bitches                                                     45
Is that a trivia question in your pants or are you just glad to see me     44
No Show Fabien                                                             37
No Name                                                                    24
Still No Name Yet                                                           7

It was birthday night at quiz as Harpo’s very own Rob and Brian from Smoked, Fried, & Getting Older celebrated their birthdays. There was singing, cake, booze, and baseball. Very patriotic.

I don’t know if it was the heat, the booze, or Officer Sugar-Tits, but there was a Mel Gibson undercurrent all night. That cat sure has a way with words. It also gave me a chance to remind everyone that no matter how many times you write down “fucking cunt whore,” I’m not going to say it more than twice. Standards, people. Decency please.

As the quiz is fixed, take note: Comparing me in any way to the Travelling Wilbury’s will most likely get you extra points (unless that comparison is “Bob Dylan’s balls.)

I’ve got to cut the banal witticisms short today, as I am meeting Danger Mouse to work on some Mel Gibson Lethal Weapon/What Women Want/Racist, Bigoted, Misogynistic Rants Mash-ups.

Stay tuned, though. If all goes well and the customs officer keeps his damn mouth shut, everybody gets a howler monkey of their own next week.

Quiz Nuggets:

• I’m quite proud of you geeks for the superb use of “deciduous” and “dendrophilia” and for nailing the mystery tree round (pun most definitely intended.)
• Based on the answers to “Hilarious Rap Lyrics,” there are quite a few experts on the wide swath of hip-hop.
• Speaking of hip-hop songs, I have been unable to find the artist “Your Mom” or the song “Dave’s Balls.” They both seem to be popular, though. Can one of y’all send me a link?
• That definitely was not a Golden Girls round because it failed to mention how hot Bea Arthur is.
• Best answers for the powerful neighbor of the country of Georgia? Louisiana and BP
• The visual round, “Deep Shit: Deep Thoughts from Deep Thinkers,” only strengthen my theory that you can learn all you need to know from Bill Hicks and “The Big Lebowski.”
• If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Garfunkel is a hack.
• Nice hair, though.
• The Asian version of the deer is known as the “Asian Deer”
• Yes, we can go back to not caring about soccer again. I’m talking to you, San Jose Earthquakes.
• Helen Keller missed 4,984 free throws, but one thing she could do was finger roll. Gervin stole it all from her.

The Cats in the Money:

Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em, Scrotum: 1st Place After they took the reins with the high score on round 2, it was no looking back.

Dukes of Valmont: 2nd Place They know their Georges and their smells.

Mel Gibson Charm School, Class of 2010: 3rd Place Their studies served them well, even providing snippets of Mel Gibson rants with every round. My favorite, “Go ahead and fuck it, fuck the Jacuzzi.”

The Rest of the Best:

Scores!

Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Scrotum...................79
Dukes of Valmont............................75
Mel Gibson Charm School Class of 2010.......72
Two Girls, One Jesus........................71
Eurolunch...................................71
Rock Out W/ Ubaldo Out......................68
Jesus is Well-Hung..........................66
Learned Hand Job............................66
Noonan Sucks (AKA Steinbrenner Has A Heart).66
Smoked, Fried, & Getting Old................66
Clean Colon.................................60
Medium Pace.................................57
Near-Sighted gynecologists..................56
I <3 CW.....................................54
Rosie O'Donnell's Carpet Exchange...........53
Video Rental Mafia..........................34
$1 Whiskey!.................................32
Jibberish...................................17
Not at the Table Carlos......................1

We had a semi-intimate quiz tonight. I’m sure many of you were still celebrating America by scrounging around for any pills that may have been dropped or wondering what happened to your pants and why there was a bald eagle with a surly disposition smoking your menthol lights.

True patriots show up for quiz.

If you didn’t partake in the bonus questions, you missed some lively debate about facial hair (Guillaume has a well-kept beard. Red Robin has no use for the Fu-manchu. The Western is a boss-intimidator and will also ensure you never going home alone.) We also discussed Back to the Future. Don’t worry, kids, Hoverboards will be here by October, 2015.

I’m gonna give Dawn from Harpo’s a little blog love, too. If you like kickball, go to kickforacause.org or go see her at the bar. Get a team, kick some ass, and help out your favorite charity. Free food. Free Beer. Free T-Shirt. 7/31.

(I didn’t include the link because I enjoy the quaint experience of typing it directly into the address bar.)

Enough of my meandering, lets see if there was anything of note we took away with us…

Quiz Nuggets!

• Those who deride Rush and their fans will have five points subtracted immediately. Now take it back. Take it back, I say!
• Sometimes ya gotta know when to fold ‘em. The atheists of Lady Gagger just went ahead and named the cast of Scooby Doo during the Apostles round.
• Just because “The General Lee” wasn’t the theme song for “The Dukes of Hazzard” doesn’t mean it did not exist and is not one fine piece of work from Johhny Cash.
• Sorry, Bing, I tried the let me see a fifty and prove its Grover Cleveland trick but it didn’t work. He’s not on the fifty and those suckers don’t roll out on a Tuesday with the big bills. I bet we could scam some Jacksons next time though.
• Annie Hall smokes pot before sex. What do my ladyfriends do before coitus?
• Leave! Hey-O!
• Joanie may love Chachie, but Scott Baio is a prick.
• I checked. I was wrong. 3 or more notes a chord does make. 2 notes is an interval. It mattered not in the grand scheme of quiz.
• Whoa, Doc! You using the whole fist? (Lady Gagger was crushing it tonight!)

That’s all for me kids. Take care of yourselves out there and if you haven’t yet, make like Annie Hall and watch Rush’s “Behind the Lighted Stage.” It is the greatest thing to come out of Canada since Justin Bieber’s hair.

The Cats in the Money!

Jesus is Well Hung: 1st Place Ted’s leaving with a win and heading to Russia again, to be a spy, of course.

*Not Pictured: Death Squad 3000: 2nd Place because they’re ninjas.

Smoked, Fried, & Annulled: 3rd Place, Chug-Off winner.

Dukes of Valmont: Chug-Off runner-up.

Changing My Name To “Lady Gagger” Didn’t Gain Me Any New Facebook Friends: Chug-Off runner-up runner-up They never slack when it comes to team names.

The Rest of the Best!

Power Bottom Jesus. Nail me.

No Show Fabian

Don’t Bear Mace Me, Bro

Smoked, Fried & Married

Medium Pace

Rusty Trombones

There’s Bill with the email bonus prize whilst killing a kitten. PS, if you need a rat or praying mantis trained, he’s your guy.

Scores!

Jesus is Well Hung........................68
Death Squad 3000..........................67
Changing My Profile Name to "Lady Gagger" 
Didn't Gain Me Any New Facebook Friends...65
Dukes of Valmont..........................65
Smoked, Fried & Annulled..................65
Power Bottom Jesus........................63
Don't Bear Mace Me Bro....................60
Medium Pace...............................55
Rusty trombone............................51
No Show fabien............................48
Smoked, Fried & Married...................46