It was a faaaaairly quiet evening at the Wilde Rover last night. A handful of highlights:

When Dogs Playing Poker came up to register, I totally thought the guy said the team name was “Unexplained Booger” and guest scorekeeper Simon was like, “Um, what you’re writing down is different from what that guy just said, which was clearly ‘Dogs Playing Poker,’” and I was like, “Oh, hey, that makes sense because that’s the name of A TEAM THAT PLAYS QUIZ HERE EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Hunh.”

You can evidently write down “Jak Jo-Kers” when the answer is “Jackie Joyner-Kersee” and I will give you a free beer. You can also squeal and run back to your team pumping your fists in the air before I have a chance to give you the free-beer thingy, since it’s winning that matters more to you than a free beer. That’s the true pub quiz spirit right there.

Pepper Jack, having run out of the Marlon Brando movies in Round Two, innovatively opted to list Superman Returns because it contains unreleased footage of Brando. Scorekeeper Simon contested it at first, but after an intense exchange of ideas and concepts between him and a Pepper Jack representative, he was eventually won over. It was the “unreleased” part, I think. Technical knock-out!

Oh, man, this one dude was so. excited. to have known that crack is what you can make out of coke, water, and baking soda. Just pure delirium . . . almost as though he, ahem, had some experience in this subject. Some recent experience. That guy's like the Martha Stewart of crack cocaine.

Christ Jesus with that Big-Lurch-making-haggis-out-of-a-woman-while-on-PCP question. Christ Jesus also when one of the teams actually knew the answer. Somebody was paying attention to his D.A.R.E.’s officer’s cautionary tales in the fifth grade.

Some photose:

Some scorz:

Pepper Jack                 52
Dogs Playing Poker          47
Team Erin Go-Braless        45
That's What She Said        44
Shock the Monkey            42
Mixed Nuts                  38
Bangers and Mash            34
Maisy and Roger             33
The Goofy Gophers           30
The James Gang              24
Tubs o' Love -1             22
Mark and Joaquin            15

When a baby plays a quiz, do not underestimate it. The baby took all your gold and knowledge and returned to its tiny little castle in the air. Maybe next time you won't have to face the baby. Pray. Pray that next time this is true.

The Scores:

Shock the Monkey                55
Dogs Playing Poker              53
Pepper Jack                     50 +1
Four Girls and a Guy            50
Gloryhole                       49
Ex-Pats                         48
Free Li'l Wayne                 48
East Side Girls                 45
Filibuster This                 44
Book Club Dropouts              43
Cutie Cakes                     42
Chupes                          40
Mixed Nuts                      40
My Paper ID Is Good Enough      39
Tubs o' Love Minus One          31
Taco Bell Employees of Burien   28
One Foot out the Door            7

We had some great performances last night, particularly by winning teams Team What is Liza's Age? (Happy birthday, Liza!) The top four teams were seperated by only three points, with Plymouth Rock edging out Pepper Jack in a sudden death tiebreaker for third place.

One of the most fun teams there tonight was dubbed The Best Team That Never Played... because they never bothered to actually get an answer sheet or compete in the quiz! Yet they danced to the music and knew the answers at the end. They signed up for our email list, so I wouldn't be surprised if we saw their faces again soon...

The Scores:

Team What Is Liza's Age?                         58
Dogs Playing Poker                               56
Plymouth Rock                                    55 +1
Pepper Jack                                      55
Mixed Nuts                                       53
Small Mouth Guards                               46
The Babysitters' Club                            45
Man Alive No                                     38
Ex-Pats                                          35
U.S.A.                                           31
I'm Not a Gynecologist, but I'll Take a Look     28
Velocipedes                                      26
Cutie Cakes                                      20
We're Back                                       13

The Scores:

Pepper Jack                        72
I Twittered All over Her Facebook  58
Cutie Cakes                        54
Transatlantic                      52
Whitey Tighties                    52
Mixed Nuts                         51
Tiger's Groupies                   48
Robot and the House                46
The Lamb Shanks                    46
Fork in the Bandersnatch           43
Michael                            42
Where Babies Come From             39
Where's Rose Ann?                  38
Ex-Pats                            35
Mygrain                            28
JiJi                               21
Iceholes                            6

Answer: Chalk up the reason you're bad at audio stuff to "being a girl." Team No Fun lived up to their name when they booed me for that. Jokes. You've read about them. Now experience the real thing.

The folks at the Wilde Rover were mercifully patient as I subbed for Dartanion tonight, and didn't bat an eyelash (uh, to my face) when I couldn't figure out the big flashy sound board. Other than passive-aggressive comments on their score sheets, that is. Nice folks.

It was made clear by several teams that Round Three was better than Round One, but probably most of all when Round One Sucked changed their name to Round Three Was Awesome. Gosh, someone should be working in advertising.

I personally liked the round about boats. I don't know. I wouldn't have aced it or anything; I just thought it was aesthetically, um, nice. Boats.

The standings took a dramatic turn toward the end when a guy from Senior Moments informed my score-boy Simon that his friend happened to have celiac disease but calls it "sprue," so he wrote sprue, so that's right because his friend has it and should know. Simon and I laughed at him and made our hands talk and said, "This is you: blar blar hurrrr," but a last-minute, hey-why-not Google check actually confirmed it, and the Senior Señors jumped into second place for a photo finish. Well. How do you like that.

I like it. Like a boat.

Favorite team name of the night has to be Blastomer. (Isn't that a kind of cancer? As pronounced by Mayor Quimby?) They won the prize for dead last place, then left before they could claim it, but I want to make sure to give them some ups here. Way to be, Blastomer . . . if you can hear me wherever you are.

Photos of the nice people:

The Scores:

Pepper Jack                 74
Senior Moments              60
Dogs Playing Poker          59
Frumious Bandersnatch       55
The Ex-Pats                 54
Round One Sucked            48
Team No Fun                 47
Mixed Nuts                  46
Hilarity Ensues             39
The Glamor Girls            35
The Book Club Dropouts      34
And Then There Were Two     33
Cutie Cakes                 31
Blastomer                   13