Sound issues are a thing of the past! It wook us a while, but we've finally got it figured out! Everyone could here, everyone behaved and I think everyone had some fun. Matt had enough fun for the rest of us! It's his birthday today, and he celebrated with Pub Quiz. His team was after that ever elusive victory, and didn't quite get it- but at least they lost to a team they are firendly with- since they were all drinking and celerating together afterwards. Hopefully all those bonus beers kept you warm last night, Matt!

Beer Burglars

Those Dickheads with the Stupid Just Married Cans Dragging Behind Their Car, who got married last week! Congrats again!

Mary Proves that Abstinence is 99% Effective

Oily Alex

It's Raping My Leg, who with a handwriting faux paus, was known as It's Raping Myley for a while...

Chooser's Remorse

They See Me Rigamarollin'

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, or the older siblings of some 13 year old Twilight fans?

Your Mom

One Eyed Wacky Wonder Weasels

One Eyed Wacky Wonder Weasels            	67
They See Me Rigamarollin'               	65
Werewolf Bar Mitzvah	                        61
Mary Proves that Abstinence is 99% Effective	60
Chooser's Remorse	                        60
Beer Burglars	                                58
It's Raping My Leg	                        57
Your Mom	                                55
Those Dickheads with the Stupid 
    Just Married Cans Dragging Behind Their Car	53
I'm a Winner                             	50
Oily Alex                                   	46
Discovery Channel                       	25
(/pre>

Only if it was in an administration building.

So because I prayed very hard to Jesus, the Lebowski quiz went off without a hitch, id est the sound worked! Praise him!

However, because I also prayed very hard to Satan, we only had 9 teams show up.

But, because I also prayed very hard to The Force, all 9 teams were badass and we had an Imperial Ton of Fun.

English Matt, our QM at Little Woodrow's Midtown, showed up to help out, and, well, we don't mind sucking on Bunny Lebowski toes.

I wouldn't suck on Tara Reid's toe for a million bucks. But a Milano cookie with green frosting? Hell^Yeah.

THE DUDES IMBIBE: Nothing says BEST BRO EVER like themed pub quiz at an icehouse.

Caucasians can't quite get that thumb up.

I think Shake and Bake just forgot to leave the bar after soccer. They took the T-Ball beers.

Logjammers know that real bro's coordinate shirts! Also took the weekly bonus beer.

No One Fucks With The Jesus manned the deck all night. . .

. . . along with our own Little Lebowski Urban Achiever, Sam.

Bunnies and Maudes Too: Coed Teams

Best Team Name Winner Finding Strangers In The Alps took third and got nothing for it. . .

. . . but an A for effort.

Wu's Helpers took fourth and had a "couple" of beers.

Teams Oat Soda Scooter Club and Sunday Punchers intimidated they hell out of everyone.

$100 Voyeurs, what a nice picture. I then asked them to do something crazy . . .

. . . and the proceeded to molest each other.

A Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood:

A Tie!
$100 Voyeurs and Sunday Punchers tied for first with 80 points each. Because this was a cash game it was all or nothing. The question was about Walter rolling out of the car.

Sunday Punchers Ponder

$100 Voyeurs Vogue

$100 Voyuers took the tie and my money. No embezzlement for Will :(

I had a great time yesterday, thanks to the LWV staff, English Matt, and all our teams. Be sure to join me Tuesdays at 8:00 at LWV, and English Matt Wednesdays at 8:00 at LWM. And for the ladies:

English Matt took this picture of me.

$100 Voyeurs                   80 WINNER of $70!
Sunday Punchers                80 Winner of Lone Star Bucket!
Finding Strangers In The Alps  75 Best Team Name!
Wu's Helpers                   61 Got to sit really close to me!
Oat Soda Scooter Club          48 Shared the Lone Star Bucket!
No One Fucks With The Jesus    47 I got nothing!
Logjammers                     35 Email Bonus Beer!
Caucasians                     34 Are always at LWV!
Shake and Bake                 30 T-Ball Beers!

Yo.

You there. Yeah, you. What up. Do me a favor. Log out of Facebook. Put down the Cheetos. Pull up your pants. Turn the Hall & Oates down. Done? Now, drag that mouse of yours to the right, and click on special events, read it, then come back here.

Back? See that? Lewboski Quiz, Saturday at 6:00. Little Woodrow's in Rice Village. Put it on your schedule. Thanks. Here's a puppy:

He needs a home.

He needs YOUR home.

Manute Bol's Casket Construction
takes first and flashes the prize. It was well-deserved.

Premature Ejokeration blew it.

Italian's Go Down Quicker Than A Two Dollar Hooker took third and are on the move!

Best Team Name winner Keyshawn Can't Pass The Ball To Keyshawn

Two Row's <3's Titties from the sky cam.

Second place team Chicken Noodle Toilet Hate. Saddest face ever. Also Brenda is frowning.

We're Late, This Pill Sucks. Ha!

Euthanize That Poopy 2. I think I may have written that down incorrectly.

Also, quiz was only 4 rounds. We aren't stupid.

Manute Bol's Casket Construction	        31
Chicken Noodle Toilet Hate		        31
Italians Go Down Easier Than A 2 Dollar Hooker					        30
Premature Ejokeration			        30
Two Row's <3's Titties			        27
Keyshawn Can't Pass The Ball To Keyshawn	26
Euthanize That Poopy 2				25
We're Late, This Pill Sucks			22
Baby Whisperers					16
Interns Blow					16
Who Dat					        8
The Stirpes Monsters Experience			3

This is my lipogram for today.

The sound crapped out last night, and I spent most of today trying to fix it. While the Cup was on. Which meant the sound I was testing was the goddamn vuvuzela drone. Thus, I have no jokes for today.

Due to the sound issues, the quiz (in its 11" entirety) is subject to abbreviation, because I refuse to provide you with an inferior product. In case that's not clear, show up Tuesday and hope for the best. But the LEBOWSKI QUIZ IS STILL ON. I am going to make sure we have an elaborate backup system just for that day. So be there on the 26th at 6:00.

Now, while there is no official quiz next week, on Tuesday the 22nd I will be at LWV testing the sound at 8:00pm. These tests will likely involve some questions, and if people show up to help me test the sound, I might have some free beers to give them.

I just realized I said in the blog ". . . because I refuse to provide you with an inferior product" a few paragraphs ago. That is a gift of a set up if there ever was one. Best joke in the comments gets a free beer next week.

We should be up and running soon. Please continue to check back on the blog for updates.

Also, once the sound is fixed, you all better be back here. I swear I will hunt you down.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Fat, wtf is that guy behind you doing?

Kim Jong Il Thinks I'm Working graces us with her presence. Also, nice photo faces.

Muff Diver took some bonus beers for knowing the periodic table. Also, Congratulations!

From The Country That Brought You Apartheid, The Vuvuzela! took first, and that is something special, regardless of what other teams were or were not present.

Better Than Weak Team, I just got the joke. Also, that is the best pub quiz t-shirt ever. See me next week for a free beer.

The Weak Team FTW, what is so funny?

Hey Will, Is That a Vuvuzela?, good team name. Sorry you had to explain it to me. Also took second.

Doesn't Matter, it does matter. YOU matter. To me.

The Absence Of One Team Member Bummed Us Out, great photo. Matt was on top of the bonus questions tonight and the team took a respectable third after a rough tie-breaker. I look like an idiot.

FOOD

USA A-OK, I AM AWARE OF ALL SIMPSONS REFERENCES.

Kelsey Bit Me! does some POV porn.

This is the only photo of Two Rows <3's in which Jen is not smiling. It is also the only photo with Matt showing off the washboard.

Offered without comment.

Invaders with Zim, if that dog's name is Zim, that is awesome.

From The Country That Brought You Apartheid,
The Vuvuzela						63
Hey Will Is That a Vuvuzela				61*Tie Breaker
The Absesnce Of One Team Member 
Bummed Us Out						61
Kim Jong Il Thinks I'm Working				59
What Doesn't Kill You 
Makes You Fat						58
Two Row's Loves Titties					53
USA A-OK						52
Better Than Weak Team					48
The Weak Team FTW					40
Muff Diver						36
Kelsey Bit Me						31
Invaders With Zim					30
I Can't Spell Vuvuzela					26
Doesn't Matter						25
Sotally Tober						8

I will fix all faulty sound soon.

It was good to be back last night, despite having a truncated quiz. But I enjoyed the opportunity to come around and talk to you all in person. Thank you for your patience.

Also, thank you for cursing those assholes by the dartboards out when I was working without a mic. You are an intimidating bunch of geeks and I am glad you have my back. I am going to rent out a warehouse so we can all get together and practice our choreographed dance-fighting.

One of the rounds we skipped last night was a round where I would give you the medical name of a condition or disease, and you would give me the common name. Sorry Stan, I know you would have broken the table from underneath while doing that round.

The other round was a Pee-Wee Herman Round, i.e. I play a clip from a movie with PWH, you name it.

You guys destroyed the word-pair round and seemed to really dig it. I am going to push for more such rounds. In fact, next time sound goes out the quiz will just be a giant-ass crossword puzzle.

You guys also nailed Round 1, naming the movie characters who would have written the fake blog entries I gave you. Only the last one caused you issues. Name the character from the 2009 movie who would have blogged:

I got to second base today... and then my dad raped and shot her. Kinda ruined the moment.

Some wrong answers I liked:

Blanche Devereaux's Last Orgy, who also took co-best team name, just wrote "Shit," which I think was less an answer and more Matt being one question away from a perfect round.

Mordachai's Handshake put "That Rape-y Movie." I think that is a parody movie in the same vein as "Scary Movie," "Epic Movie," and "Date Movie," except this is on Lifetime. So add "THAT RAPE-Y MOVIE" to the list of film projects our venue is working on, including "AIRPLAN." and "RUNNING OUT OF DEATH starring STEVEN SEGAL."

Two Rows <3's Titties just put "My Penis." Hilarious. But every Wednesday morning I wake up and do this blog, and there is always one answer sheet that makes me laugh. This week's was from Round 3, asking "Real or Fake" concerning Trivial Pursuit Editions. This is what my Two Rows friends had for me:

I just really like how "Boobs" is written 8 times.

Only a handful of pictures this week, and none of my third place team Texas Grab Bag or second place team Knowing is 49.99999...% The Battle. But I want to point out that while I read your team name as "forty-nine point nine nine repeating" I am perfectly aware that 49.999... is equal to 50, and thus your team name could accurately be read (and perhaps this was your desire) as "Knowing is Half The Battle." Please let me know.

CTA took first and this is the best picture yet. You constantly outdo yourselves. I am going to buy you a bucket next week because you should be rewarded for your pictorial efforts. Remind me.

Two Row's <3's Titties is hilarious. And Matt misses Lost so much he is trying to be Sawyer.

The Return of Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo! I can't stop laughing at that look.

Half Pint Night: A Tribute To Gary Coleman. Too soon, man. Too soon.

Blanche Devereaux's Last Orgy took best team name, and Matt was denied many bonus beers because of sound issues. Next week, buddy.

Herman Park Pee Wees made time for us tonight. Well, MOST of them did. Eh-hem.

CTA				                69
Knowing is 49.99999...% The Battle		63
Texas Grab Bag				        61
Two Row's <3's Titties				60
Herman Park Pee Wees				57
Blance Devereaux's Last Orgy			57
Half Pint Nite: A Tribute To Gary Coleman				                54
Beer Burglars				        54
Expletive Deleted				52
Mordechai's Handshake				50
Bad Cats Chewing Beer				48
JOEY JOE JOE JUNIOR . . . SHABBADOO!		46
Ball and Chain				        41
Electric Sex Pants				41
Ron Mexico				        35
BP Should Tap That				31
Frothy Bronsons				        15
Sassy Sistas				        14
ICT				                11
The Mibs				         9
Medical Geeks				         7

I think we pissed off the sound board. We tried to play the worst duets ever, and the speakers refused to torture you. I tried to give you a scoring update, and the microphone decided it didnt' want it. I think it knew we were nearing the end of the quiz and didn't want it to be over either.

But despite the epic fail of current audio technology, a shortened quiz and a handsoe stranger coming to the rescue of your quizmadam- all was well! Or at least you all kept smiling, as the photographic evidence proves.

But at the end of night, the evening belonged to Spanish Inquisition.

However, my savior was definitely Chris. I have no clue what he did, but he definitely had the magic touch. Dang that sounds dirty... And yes Ladies- he is single...

Spanish Inquisition	        65
Rosa Parks Didn't Call Shotgun	64
Pee-Pee Doo-Doo Ca-Ca	        61
CTA	                        59
Texas Grab bag	                56
50 Nugget Challenge Champ	55
I Can't Believe Webster's Dead	54
Two Rows <3s Titties	        49
Quizzy Lifting Drinks	        45
Dr. Terry Grier, Ph.D	        44
Unicorns and Unitards	        43
Burro Bashers	                42
Katherine is a No-Nothing	41
Millies Pups	                40
Al Codn't tipper her Kipper	36
Atilla the Hungry Gungry Hippo	35
Apathetic	                23
The Third Half	                13
Bazinga	                        05

All who watch Lost now play my quiz.

Good quiz last night, lots of people, a really enjoyable Visual Round, everyone got to feel smugly superior to me when I mispronounced some words and gave away an answer.

GWD is retiring The Golden Girls as a quiz topic, and I sort of agree; its a little too easy to make a Golden Girls joke these days. It is a good thing GWD does, retiring cliched topics.

Speaking of cliches, I want to officially log the first vote for retiring Family Guy from all GWD quizzes. Its just not funny, and I hate asking questions about that stupid show.

Speaking of questions, one this week was about where Sophia from GG lived before moving in with the others. I liked one answer so much that I was going to write a whole thing on it: Sudden Valley. But then I learned its just an Arrested Development reference.

Speaking of Sudden Valley, here is my bit on it anyway. Sudden Valley as the name of a retirement home sounds like a place evil children send their parents to die. Sudden Valley workers would hide in closets, showers, and in plain sight by standing really still, and then try to shock residents into a "pre-existing heart condition."

Speaking of euphemisms, another answer to the Sophia question was "Brooklyn Retirement Home," which is almost certainly code in New Jersey for something. I know "Queens Retirement Home" is code for Shea Stadium, cause its where careers go to die. Best suggestion for the REAL meaning of "Brooklyn Retirement Home" in the comments gets a free beer next week.

Some pictures of you damn wiener kids:

That's What She Said looks stressed.

Lima Time thinks I talk funny.

Two Row's <3's Titties - Jen (taking pictures) + SHERWIN! (ruining pictues)

Insert Team Name Here see me next week for some beers, this picture is hilarious.

Stay Classy, South Carolina makes me laugh SO HARD with the implication that SC was ever classy.

Toilet Hate vs Istanbul took first, but needed a nap.

CTA took second for the quiz, but first for the best staged photo. The guys are getting mugged and Jen is on a roller coaster.

We're late and suck prove that people smile more when a girl takes the pictures.

I think this is Cobra Kai. I dunno. But the one guy is for sure Johnny.

KPLDFRX(Y) just got screwed in a Scrabble draw.

Quizzed In Our Pants took a shit-ton of bonus beers and got edged out in the 3rd place tiebreaker. Next week.

Beer Burglars have a mystery member.

Nukin it up for the World Cup is thinking this, left to right: "I love cutting things in jagged lines," "I hate this asshole," "I love beer," "I am about to start bobbing my head back and forth."

Dr. Torry Grier PhD. Obviously this was photoshopped, because it looks like there is a table of women at LWV that aren't getting hit on by Bill.

Palindrone took second by knowing about Cats. And Jeff took the weekly bonus prize. Well played sirs and sirettes.

Toilet Hate v Istanbul			81
CTA			                76
We Quizzed In Our Pants			75
Palindrones			        75
Stay Classy South Carolina		72
Two Rows <3's Titties			72
Lima Time			        70
Better Than Them			67
Cobra Kai			        66
Insert Team Name Here			65
Nukin It Up For The World Cup		64
Dr. Torry Grier PhD			64
KPTLDFRX(Y)			        61
Beer Burglars			        58
That's What She Said			53
We're Late and Suck			49
My Couch Pulls Out But I Don't		44
Spider Monkey			         4

I should say this on a usual basis, but my participants habitually turn quiz into a fantastic dork-orgy. Dorkgy?

Last week in the blog I posed the question "What's the difference between your couch and Wedge Antilles?" I asked at quiz tonight if anyone had answers, and I got a ton. Here they are:

• Charlie Murphy never put his feet on Wedge Antilles.
• One hasn't seen any action in a while.
• My couch supports Luke's ass, Wedge saves it.
• My cat has never peed on Wedge Antilles.
• A couch comfortably sits three.
• I've never b**t off on my couch.
• Punching Wedge Antilles in the face to get back at George Lucas for making shitty sequels [sic] hurts too much.
• I can't do your mom on Wedge Antilles.
• When my couch said "Look at the size of that thing!" it wasn't talking about the Death Star.
• Wedge Antilles flew an X-wing. . . my couch just flew away with my ex . . . :( [sic]
• When Wedge Antilles said "Look at the size of that thing!" he wasn't talking about my girlfriend.
• A chick as been on Wedge Antilles.
• I never found change in Wedge Antilles' crack.

I will continue to give out beers for good answers to this question. The Charlie Murphy one is good for a beer next week.

I promise as soon as I turn my dissertation in I will go back to reading your hilarious answers and posting pictures of your sheets. Give me two weeks.

Oh, one hilarious wrong answer in the 80's movies Round 3 was "Airplan." I don't know if you misspelled it or just said "screw it" after seven letters, but you just came up with the most boring movie title ever. Well done. Best plot summary for the movie "Airplan" posted in the comments gets a free beer next week.

I Don't Care What You Say, Texas Board Of Education Says I'm Right enjoys a mug of what really really looks like pee-pee.

Many Bothans Died To Bring You These Quiz Answers is probably up there for best team name ever. They didn't get best team name this week, but that competition is totally rigged.

Chrondog . . . I'm sorry, is that a tripod in the background?

Third place team CTA looks normal, but just wait until the last photo. Thanks for taking pictures! Except this one.

Montreal In 6 was originally Montreal in 5 but then the Flyers won. Also, nothing like a bottle of white in a Bud Light bucket. I gave them best team name because I mocked them all night.

Full Frontal Nerdity is also a really good team name. I do love new words. In fact, the best team name next week will go to the team with the best made up word.

The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back more or less swept the bonus questions.

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Lady took the T-Ball beers . . .

. . . and took a second to get their shit together.

Stank Eye Surprise really sounds like a sex-move gone wrong. Beat Box.

Two Rows <3's Titties enjoyed some fajitas. That's right, people, we got food, and its seriously good.

I Wedged Antilles took second and later we discussed how to type wieners ( <==3 or 8=D ).

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah took first and I don't get the joke. Unless its about my hairy Jewish friend Benny. In which case I don't get it.

WTF, man?

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah				82
I Wedged Antilles				80
CTA				                77
I dont care what you say Texas 
Board of Education is right			68
The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back			62
Montreal in NEVER				62
Two Row's <3's Titties				60
Many Bothans Died To Bring You These Quiz Answers				                55
Full Frontal Nerdity				52
Stank Eye Surprise				44
Newt's Noggin				        43
Chrondog				        37
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Lady			36
Donkey Ballz				        31
We Don't Care Much				11