Alright kiddies, it's time for class. Sit down and shut up.

Now, when I'm up in front of you at the quiz, delivering my lecture, you don't have to agree with everything I say. That's fine. But you do have to listen, and you do have to respect the fact that these things happened. This is history class, in pop-culture form.

So when I ask a question about the Radiohead album that singlehandedly turned the music industry on its ear, you should know the answer, or be interested in knowing the answer, regardless of your opinion of Radiohead as a band. I don't care that you don't give a fuck about the band; I'm interested in advancing your level of education as far as is possible for me to do.

(And if I weren't your teacher and we were having a conversation as peers--which we're not--I would tell you that you should give a fuck about the band, because unlike any other band on Earth, they've managed to maintain a near-flawless record of creativity, originality and credibility while somehow becoming one of the most commercially successful bands of all time. Usually it's one or the other: you stick to your vision and you stay broke, or you compromise your integrity and you get rich. They've done both.)

Anyway, I hate to start class with a rant, but I felt it was important to remind you guys that these facts exist outside your opinions. Like it or not, these things changed the world.

And to the group that wrote "Radiohead sucks more than Twin Peaks" and left it for me to find after class, I'm going to first suggest that you do your homework, and then I'm going to suggest that I'll see you in detention. We don't need that kind of language in these halls. Thank you.

This is Channel Four News Team.

They won, 'cause they's smart. And they're friends, and they love each other. It's so special what exists between the members of Channel Four News Team.

This is The Revenge of the U.S./Honduras Non-Aggression Pact.

There is delicious irony in their team name. I hope you realize that. Also, they came back for revenge and made it to second place. Not too shabby. I hope they're also living well, because I hear that's a good strategy too.

This is (again, the remnants of) CSU.

They came in third. Also, they hate me now. They know why. But don't worry. I'll make it up to them so hard. Yes, that is a sexual innuendo.

This is The Scott Stapp 4.

They've (again) referenced Creed in their team name (I'm starting to worry about them), but they're referencing Wu-Tang Clan in their gestures. I know, I'm confused too. I think they're a little bit mixed up. They didn't win, but they do win "honorable mention." So that's something! Honor! Mention!

Class dismissed.

Scores!

Channel Four News Team                          61
Revenge of the US/Honduras Non-Aggression Pact  60
CSU                                             49
Adolph + The Hitlers                            46
The Ferbtones                                   46
The Scott Stapp 4                               42
Griffendorks                                    40