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A Bar Named Sue (State)
8136 S State St
Midvale, UT 84047
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:28 AM, April 23, 2015
Scores
sausage fest 77

suck it trebek 51

poop nose 51

cunning stunts 49

Thomas
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Thomas ()

Intimate.

This was an intimate and earily serious quiz.

Players were focused and determined to vanquish something.

If it wasn't to be one of the other teams, then by God, it was going to be a stray cat outside or a homeless person.

I think I say a homeless guy recently vanquished as I left come to think about it.

It looked both painfull and strangely appealing.

Of course if I were as sunburned as that guy was I would be appealing too.

Sorry.

Goodest of jobs to Sausage Fest for taking the win and maintaining there psych out reverence throughout the night.

I'm glad you returned to us.

It's been a little too...not Asian enough around there lately.

Bringin' the cultural diversity back to Salt Lake's Central Valley.

Poop Nose, nice second place victory, and nice bone structure. All of you.

Swooped up that victory over Suck It Trebek, with what started out as a second place tie, Poop Nose knew some stuff more what the other guys knew.

That's enough for now.

Until next time...

...If your going to apply sunscrean in public, maybe try your hands rather than bringing your own rubber spatula.

A Bar Named Sue (State)
8136 S State St
Midvale, UT 84047
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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9:17 AM, April 17, 2015
Scores
ram rod 55

why am I sober 47

disproportionate breast drawing 45

ray 38

Thomas
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Thomas ()

So this week's blog entry is now about to breach the 48 hours-late-point and I am wrought with despair at my blatant misgivings and unacceptable irresponsibility.

I could lament you with emphatic reasoning and pathetic excuses for my misconduct and degredation of my sworn duty to have a complimentary and comprehensive "recap" of this particular evenings comings and goings, but I shant do this. I respect you, the process and the game too much for such cheap and meaningless blubbering.

So, instead of doing what I would normally do, I will ever so briefly offer my congratulations to this night's winners; Ram Rod, and the team that took a close and admirable second place; Why Am I Sober, as well as recognize Ray for a powerful solo game and Disproportionate Breast Drawing for a damn fine drawing of shoulder boobs, but the body and pathos of this blog entry will be in some ways, my own personal redemption and a message to you, the readers, that I am in many ways imperfect, not only with this seemingly simple chore, but with many facets of my life.

And I will list them now.

Do with it what you will.

  1. I can not nor ever could make a proper pot of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. It without fail either comes out runny and disappointing or full of cheese powder clumps of infuriating imperfection. And It shames me.
  2. I am bald. No hair on my head now and there never will be...ever. And it shames me.
  3. I am unable to fold paper properly. Never could do this right. It would, in some cases appear from the beginning to seem aligned and correct, but alas, always an overlap and sadness overtakes me. And it shames me.
  4. I am, at best, a moderate lover but more often it's at worst. Shamed to no end.
  5. I don't have a gmail account. Shame.
  6. My dog licks my face. I don't want it to, but I submit every time because I am weak and end up always with wet dog tongue face. And this shames me.
  7. I enjoy the music of Blues Traveler. Alone. At night. I listen to John Popper's hypnotic and intoxication Harmonica playing and I cry myself into a fit of self loathing. The "Hook" never brings me back, and I fear it never will. Oh the shame.
  8. I don't use tissue paper. I plug one nostril, breathe in...and expell. Wherever. Whenever. It's gross. My mirrors and laden with dried mucus. My wife hates me. Shamefull.
  9. I don't lift the lids in public toilets and sometimes it gets away from me and I don't normally care enough to tidy up afterwards. Woh is me.
  10. And finally, I am a huge fan of the acting dynamo that is Ms. Hilary Swank. I think she is a true hollywood beauty and I will stand by "The Core" in staunch defence of it's merits and subtle nuance hiding just under it's simplistic and juvenile surface. Hilary Swank rocks and I mean it. The shame is profound and traumatic.

So, now you know that my tardiness and carelessness in bringing this blog is nothing in comparison to the Hindenberg-esque tragedy that is my day to day existence.

Conext makes all the difference.

Until next time...

...you are always going to be less smart, less good looking, less funny and less interesting than at least one other person out there.

A Bar Named Sue (State)
8136 S State St
Midvale, UT 84047
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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6:16 PM, April 09, 2015
Scores
gin and comics 64

panda sex orgy 59

violent hamsters 51

sparkle pony express 44

cream pie surprise 36

wise women of the wasatch 35

Thomas
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Thomas ()

HELL OF SHOW KIDS!! HELL OF A SHOW!

Big number one spot, holy shit, went to the previously chronic second placers; Gin and Comics. Nice work team.

A far more shameful while still being somewhat impressive second place went to the pragmatically named Panda Sex Orgy.

You guys should be both proud and ashamed of yourselves.

Really great/horrible job tonight.

Also a shout up to my WWWs, the always beautiful, charming (and the only regular team that doesn't insult me regularly nor threaten me with violence)--The Wise (formarlly Wild) Women of the Wasatch.

Last place is only the last of the winners. Keep it up ladies.

Really good night all around. I was in a good mood, The whiskey was in a good mood, the teams were in the good mood.

Men were getting waaaaay to excited when I played a Smith's song (JK, I get it bro).

Thank you all around.

Now I leave you with a phrase...

...a phrase...

Until next time...

...Don't water your flowers before you stock up on condoms.

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