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Red's Porch
3508 S Lamar Blvd
Austin, TX 78704
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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9:31 PM, April 22, 2014
Scores
Hair Pi 86

Hail Hydra 85

Drinkers Who Geek 85

The Loyal Subjects of Stannis "the Mannis" Baratheon, the true and rightful king of al westeros (DQ'd) 83

RobotsÉinÉspace 78

Butthole Windsurfers 78

A Picture of a Monster With a Dick in Its Butt (DickButt) 75

(Table) Size Doesn't Matter 74

Bulge 73

Orifice Supplies 73

Welcome to the Shitshow 69

0 Days Since Melville 69

Ukranian Hide and Seek 66

Space Goat: Coat to Coat 66

University of Phoenix Graduates 60

Fistlick 59

Mc B.E.T.H. 56

Muppet Fight Club 53

Fried Bacon Duo 51

The Sir Knights and Their Knight-ettes 47

Evan


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Quiz Schedule
Red's Porch, Tuesdays -- AND -- Waterloo Ice House Southpark Meadows, Wednesdays --- ALSO -- Black Star Co-Op, Sundays
Evan ()

I like hats, the artist Poe, and anything nerdy.  My sole aspiration in life is to be Tom Cruise, but better.

Here is an excerpt from my Wikipedia page:

"Evan Boston was born a poor sharecropper's son in Upper Manhattan.  So dire was his family's poverty that young Evan was forced to subsist on soy sauce and steamed fingernail clippings.  His life was forever changed when he pressed his soy-sauce-bespattered face to the glass of a public house wherein a Geeks Who Drink pub quiz was being held.  Evan knew then what his life's work would be from that moment on.  He sold his father's prize possession, a tortoiseshell comb, to pay for tuition for Quizmasters' Academy.  After years of being bullied and shunned by the rich students and Samoans, Evan finally proved his worth by graduating 4th in his Quizmaster's class, for which he was presented an Applebee's gift card.  He has yet to use it."

You know, most people know Ricardo Montalban as Khan.  Some even are familiar with him from Fantasy Island.   But I'll always know him as the bad guy from the first Naked Gun movie.  (Then again, the same could be said of O. J. Simpson.)

Quiz was a barrel of monkeys tonight!  You know, if monkeys drank beer and watched TV in the 80's.  We had a Sooner or Later round, a Game of Thrones themed round, and even a Quizmaster-in-training getting to cut his teeth in front of y'all!  Which is just as painful as the phrase makes it sound.  I actually have to slam quite a few painkillers before I host quiz, just to dull the pain of it all.

(Just kidding-- that's what booze is for!)

We even had a tie for second place!  My goodness.  It's a wonder we even have energy enough to drive home after all the shenanigans of the night.  Although sometimes I do wish I had a designated driver, not for getting drunk, but for when I'm just plumb tuckered.

And with a repertoire of such winning phrases as "plumb tuckered," it remains a genuine miracle that I'm not more popular!

*Cries softly while he eats another Cadbury Egg*

Remember to like the Facebook page.  You know, so that I can feel virtually validated!

 

-evan and jeavon and alex

Red's Porch
3508 S Lamar Blvd
Austin, TX 78704
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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9:03 AM, April 16, 2014
Scores
standoff at the bunny ranch? 85

the crotch potatoes 84

drinkers who geek 81

buster hymen 76

have you ever hated zach braff? It'll change your life 73

how can a clam cram in a clean cream can? 70

the second to last unicorn 70

we survived a westeros wedding 70

our drinking team has a trivia problem 70

uncle sarah and the long leg daddies 68

stoop troop 66

sorry, I'm a jerk Chelsea; you're kind of ok 63

in space no one can hear you cream 61

shit!....i cant remember 57

the hung jurists 57

I'm tired of these motherfucking planes in my motherfucking vagina 55

discrete lady boner 55

to be determined later 53

mosquito hawks don?t even eat mosquitos 52

dank tanucki's 50

los mariposas peligrosas 48

bath salts 44

drinkers who drink 43

donkey dong 31

oaklandish 10

Evan


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Red's Porch, Tuesdays -- AND -- Waterloo Ice House Southpark Meadows, Wednesdays --- ALSO -- Black Star Co-Op, Sundays
Evan ()

I like hats, the artist Poe, and anything nerdy.  My sole aspiration in life is to be Tom Cruise, but better.

Here is an excerpt from my Wikipedia page:

"Evan Boston was born a poor sharecropper's son in Upper Manhattan.  So dire was his family's poverty that young Evan was forced to subsist on soy sauce and steamed fingernail clippings.  His life was forever changed when he pressed his soy-sauce-bespattered face to the glass of a public house wherein a Geeks Who Drink pub quiz was being held.  Evan knew then what his life's work would be from that moment on.  He sold his father's prize possession, a tortoiseshell comb, to pay for tuition for Quizmasters' Academy.  After years of being bullied and shunned by the rich students and Samoans, Evan finally proved his worth by graduating 4th in his Quizmaster's class, for which he was presented an Applebee's gift card.  He has yet to use it."

For those of you who missed it, I tried to sabotage the first place team by playing sub-par covers of alternative 90's songs, but it didn't work.  They still managed to defend their title, regardless of the musical bludgeoning I administered.  I even tried to give away the CD from which the songs came (entitled Punk Goes 90's Vol. 2), and then the winner of that prize tried to give it back.

No can-do.  It doesn't work that way, man.  The curse must be transferred willingly.  I'm FREE now!  And I do not envy you the burden you must now carry.

I mean, perhaps Volume 1 of Punk Goes 90's was a little more impressive.  And sure, it was interesting hearing heavier renditions of "Torn" and "Interstate Love Song."  But do you really have to do covers of songs like "Du Hast" and "Hurt" without really changing much about the song's original composition?

One of the most interesting covers I've heard is Perfect Circle's version of John Lennon's "Imagine."  Yeah, yeah, I can hear you Beatles fans and rock purists groaning all the way from here.  But they took a touchy-feely song that American Idol contestants love to sing and turned it into an ominous metal ballad.  Not better than the original, just different.

The point is, if you're gonna cover a song, put your own spin on it.  And if you're gonna call your CD Punk Goes 90's, you'd better hire some bands who actually play PUNK MUSIC.

 

But I digress.  Like, from everything.  Because we had one hell of a nice night last night!

The weather was cool and breezy, the food was warm and toasty, and the Fireball was flowing!  (Well, maybe that last part only applies to me.  And I guess the food wasn't particularly warm and toasty if you ordered the gazpacho.  But I don't think Red's serves gazpacho.  So I think I'm safe.)  

And the quiz!  Everyone did spectacularly, especially since we threw Counting Crows covers and a fake Samuel L. Jackson at you!

I'm gonna call him Samuel L. Wackson.  Cuz that shit was wack.

And I'm still really proud of your team names!  Good job all around.  Picking a Best Team Name of the Night was a TOUGH CALL!  Bring it again next week and I promise I'll choose YOUR team name, okay??

 

Thanks for coming out!

 

 

-evan and chelsea

Red's Porch
3508 S Lamar Blvd
Austin, TX 78704
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:59 PM, April 08, 2014
Scores
Eight is Too Many? (DQ'ed) 73

Kinky Mosquitoes (1st) 70

Zero Days Since Melville (2nd) 66

Drinkers Who Geek (3rd) 64

Fascist Picobots (4th) 64

Betty White Can't Jump 62

Thundercats Love Bologna 59

Fasten Your Seatbelt by Paul Walker 57

Ultimate Scorgasm (DQ'ed) 57

Yankin' His Red Sock 57

Team 56

I Met My team on Christianmingle.com 51

Kitty McStinks 50

This IS the Evan You're Looking For 48

Boeing and Nothingness 36

Two 2 Tango 19

Evan


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Red's Porch, Tuesdays -- AND -- Waterloo Ice House Southpark Meadows, Wednesdays --- ALSO -- Black Star Co-Op, Sundays
Evan ()

I like hats, the artist Poe, and anything nerdy.  My sole aspiration in life is to be Tom Cruise, but better.

Here is an excerpt from my Wikipedia page:

"Evan Boston was born a poor sharecropper's son in Upper Manhattan.  So dire was his family's poverty that young Evan was forced to subsist on soy sauce and steamed fingernail clippings.  His life was forever changed when he pressed his soy-sauce-bespattered face to the glass of a public house wherein a Geeks Who Drink pub quiz was being held.  Evan knew then what his life's work would be from that moment on.  He sold his father's prize possession, a tortoiseshell comb, to pay for tuition for Quizmasters' Academy.  After years of being bullied and shunned by the rich students and Samoans, Evan finally proved his worth by graduating 4th in his Quizmaster's class, for which he was presented an Applebee's gift card.  He has yet to use it."

...and then Beatles, Hanson, and Jonas Brothers fans tear me limb from limb.  Although, if I were to estimate the brute strength of any fan base, I think Hanson fans would win hands-down.  They're some tough muthafuckas.  They built a musical obsession around a band that wasn't even hunky.  Like, AT ALL.  And Hanson only really had one BIG song.  And then they had a prolific and at times even critically-approved career.  Yet the general public hears "Hanson" and only thinks "MMMBop."

Point is, it's gotta be tough being a Hanson fan.

(Jonas Brothers fans can go suck an egg.  Half the time they don't even have a drummer on stage.  WTF??)

 

Enough!  Enough about boy bands!  You came to Red's to play a quiz!  Or perhaps you came to get your dog some free water.  That's right: Red's Porch offers free water to all dogs*!

The next time your pooch is parched, bring it to Red's!

 

We had an interesting quiz.  A disqualified team got first place (we are totes serial about that "six person per team" rule), which caused us to have a tie for third!  After a short, short tiebreaker (apparently we only know one Sylvester Stallone movie...), we had our winners!

 

But everyone's a winner at Geeks Who Drink!  And by that, I mean that we all had fun for FREE!  I don't actually mean that everyone gets prizes.  I would run out really fast.

 

Thanks to Anna for stepping in when Chelsea is saving the world-- hopefully we'll see both of them again soon!

 

Facebook-- it's not just for stalking your old high school boyfriend!

 

See ya next week!

 

-evan and anna

 

 

 

 

*With purchase of two regular entrees.  Not valid with any other offer.  Void where prohibited.

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