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Complete Quiz Schedule
 



Opal Divine's (Marina)
12709 Mopac at Parmer Lane
Austin, TX 78727
Saturdays: 10:00 PM
Comment Now
8:56 AM, May 20, 2012
Scores
freaks who drink 86
whitney houston and donna summers' suicide pact 85
sic'em, captain snuggles 84
facebook went public bc they could not understand their privacy settings either 78
texas barking spiders 78
keep fucking that chicken 77
samantha's uniboob (o)(o) (apparently they are samantha's boobs) 76
baby in a bar 75
doggy style (yeah, we're that creative) 75
home school valedictorians 74
travolta's giving handies on the drag?massage required 72
2 plus 1 minus 1 plus 1 70
blow it up across town 69
daily areola quality report 69
will the room store just close already 68
goldie 66
no mr travolta those are not hot rocks (no joker) 66
bluebonnets 65
ron and the swansons 65
jackin it in san diego 64
more orgasms, fewer kids 63
we wanted to sit outside 62
kittyglitter.gov 60
slap n pickle 59
operation fiscal jackhammer 56
landshark 56
cookie jerks 55
no, you make ME a sandwich 54
leave it to beavers 53
59 going on 15 53
shelly and kirk 51
get in the van, we have candy 44
the foursome 44
peniscicles (formerly known as) team awesome 38
the thirsties 36
brussels 29
pinky 28
the revengers 26
fresh 24
encarnacion 23
ally kat 2
Chelsea's Flip-Flop vs. The Attack Of The Beetles
hurls


Web

Quiz Schedule
Mister Tramps: Wednesday 8pm Opal Divine's Marina: Saturday 10pm 		Evelyn (hurls)

I'm Evelyn Hurley, the last human not on Facebook. My hobbies include baking, choreography and rewriting bogus bios John Dicker writes for me.  I live with Chelsea who I manipulate for good and evil depending on my mood.  I do not fly in airplanes. I'm a green belt in Kung Fu. I once beat Jason Bateman in thumb wrestling. 

Sitting outside, I'm always worried that a bug is going to land on me or crawl up my leg while I'm talking on the mic. I mean, bugs occasionally do land on/near me and I quietly shriek and Chelsea handles it, and everyone continues to think that I am a badass and not a whiny little bitch. Seriously, this is my fear.

Well, last night it happened. I was asking a question, and looked down at my exposed toe to find a huge, hairy, disgusting beetle. I swear it had claws. I scream into the mic, although not as loud as I feared, and Chelsea found the beetle on the wall and smashed it. You all cheered.

Thanks for the support, but that's not where it ends.  After the quiz, someone came up to me and confessed that the same beetle that was attacking my foot also dive-bombed her hair. Then I discovered that after the Great Beetle Attack Chelsea stealthily shot down 2 other beetles during the quiz.

These things are a nuisance and need to be stopped.  I hate bugs and am very scared of them. Sorry to let you down.

In other news, we had a Yay! Gay! round, and most of you cheered when I read the answers. Thanks, guys. At our last few quizzes, everyone is really showing a lot of support and love for the gays, or for me and Chelsea in general. That's really nice to hear. It would suck for us if everyone booed when we had a round for the gays.

That's all. Beetles and Gays. That's your recap! xoxo, Evelyn & Chelsea

Opal Divine's (Marina)
12709 Mopac at Parmer Lane
Austin, TX 78727
Saturdays: 10:00 PM
Comment Now
1:00 AM, May 13, 2012
Scores
Freaks Who Drink 87
The Sixth Person on our Team is Playing Galaga 80
Hatchbackin' 77
Travolta's Closet 72
Where the Wild Things are Running in Front of Buses 71
Periodic Table Dancers 71
Clint Eastwood is our Quizmaster 70
Not Too Old to Breastfeed 70
Captain Limpy & the Dickwolf Armada 68
2 Jimmys are 2 Too Many 68
Encyclopedia Browneye Welcomes New QM Harvey Firestein 68
The Abominable Snowmen of Appalachia 67
Metta World Peas! 67
What Kind of Bees Make Milk? 66
s58008 65
My Teacher is Hot (I'm Home Schooled) 65
Gorilla Thumbs in the Mist 62
Zombie Liberal Jesus Frowns on Your Shenanigans 61
GIRLS 57
Interstate Troll Booth 56
I'm Not Mexican, I'm Asian 53
The Best Part of This is the Eye Candy 46
Check Your Man-Gina at the Door 37
All Your Bases Are Gay 26
The Skank Tank 3
And Now, a (No Homo) Word from Clint Eastwood
The Freshmaker


Twitter
Web

Quiz Schedule
North By Northwest Retaurant & Brewery, Monday 7:30pm Weirdo's, Tuesday 8pm The Lion & Rose - Westlake Hills, Wednesday 9pm 		Ron (The Freshmaker)

My day job is actually a night job, where I spin all the hits all the time.  Be careful... I might just soft rock your socks off. 

I met both President Clinton and prop comic Gallagher the day of the Million Man March.

I love The Venture Brothers, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, and anything with Boston Rob Mariano.

I've been QM'ing since October 2010 and have loved every minute of it.  I'm actually sitting here counting the minutes until I can work on next week's quiz.  One... two... three... fourteen... seventy... eleven hundred... one jillion...

... I'm also crap at math.

It’s halftime.  All the quizzers are on a pee break or getting a nicotine fix, trying to figure out what they can do to win this quiz in the second half.

 

It’s halftime in my throat, too.  It sounds like I’ve been gargling a bag of dicks and I’m hurting and I’m wondering what the heck I can do to make a comeback.

 

Now we’re all scared that my voice is so raw that it could magically open a portal to hell at any moment.  It seems as if we’ve lost our way.  Our glorious quiz mistresses are out of town and we’re left the big dude in the black hat and a Harvey Firestein impersonator.

 

But after those trials, we rallied around what’s right.  We rallied around the quiz.  It’s eight rounds and eight questions, no matter who reads it.  This quiz can’t be knocked out with one horse-voiced emcee.  It gets right back up again, and when Evelyn and Chelsea return, you’re gonna hear the roar of the crowd.

 

Yeah, it’s halftime, Opal Divine’s.  And your second half is about to begin.

 

Inspired yet?!?  Clearly my voice was not.  Stupid voice.  But thankfully the cuddly teddy bear that is Chris LaRue was able to jump on the mic and assist your quizmaster from his lamentable predicament.  For all those wondering, the top three answers we got for person Ron most vocally resembled were Clint Eastwood, Harvey Firestein, and ‘Super’ Dave Osbourne.  That’s rarified air, peeps.  I’m in good company.

 

I certainly hope you enjoyed your quizzing with LaRue and me.  We certainly got a kick out of several of your answers, including but not limited to former NWA members Reverend Al Sharpton, Ice-T, Warren G, Nate Dogg, Master P, and Dave Chappelle.

 

With the number of jokers that got used in round two, I could tell you guys really loved you’re a cappella music (no homo)!  And your performance in random knowledge cemented great scores across the board.  Regular kings of the hill Freaks Who Drink proved the more things change, the more they stay the same by locking down first place with a score only NINE POINTS short of perfect.  My NXNW all-stars (The Sixth Person on Our Team Is Playing Galaga) showed up in the standings as well, finishing in 2nd place.  Also props to 3rd place’s Hatchbackin’ for their $10 victory as well.

 

Next Saturday, you’ll be back in the loving arms of Evelyn and Chelsea, who are so sad to have missed you tonight.  Come on back next week and let them know you love them (no homo)!

 

Opal Divine's (Marina)
12709 Mopac at Parmer Lane
Austin, TX 78727
Saturdays: 10:00 PM
Comment Now
12:41 PM, May 06, 2012
Scores
mr definitely 79
get the bloodhound off your titty, jarvis 76
the first shitty team name out of justin's mouth 75
smurfrican americans 70
cap metro tries to kill nick fury 70
illing for the cure 66
secrets don?t make friends and friends don?t make secrets 63
sabor de soledad: now with more bull semen 63
ill have another better win the preakness or he/she is glue (our team name sucks) 58
super mooninites 57
drunken dillos 57
fuck baugh (baw) aka blow it up across town 55
seriously, you guys?the batmobile is outside 54
periodic table dancers 53
encyclopedia browneye 53
juan in a million 47
neil diamond's are a girls' best friend 47
team mini 44
bri and gin 42
the undecideds (Dqed had phones out, don?t know) 40
whoever rode to shiner today say woop woop 39
j and k 39
MCA is not your father 38
el homegirlss 36
fuck straight people 35
umi zumisenti 24
team awesome 20
super moon? Wtf? 17
yankee bitch: tex mex 12
hyde park trio 8
Samantha: The Dildo Element
hurls


Web

Quiz Schedule
Mister Tramps: Wednesday 8pm Opal Divine's Marina: Saturday 10pm 		Evelyn (hurls)

I'm Evelyn Hurley, the last human not on Facebook. My hobbies include baking, choreography and rewriting bogus bios John Dicker writes for me.  I live with Chelsea who I manipulate for good and evil depending on my mood.  I do not fly in airplanes. I'm a green belt in Kung Fu. I once beat Jason Bateman in thumb wrestling. 

Last night we had a quiz writer in attendence. Fellow QM Samantha came by to bask in the glory of her Dill, Does, and Dildos round. She got some recognition and she twirled around for us in her pretty polka dot dress. Good job, Samantha.

We also got a treat when QM Evan stopped by...with a bunch of people we don't know. But they looked fun and cute and then Evan gave them the finger. Jerk.

There was another special Samantha sitting just one table away! Our homegirls Amanda & Samantha came to their very first quiz! They drove up from South Austin to stay up past their bedtime and answer questions about the number 5. It was a good night to stay up past your bedtime, since we ended a few minutes before midnight, which I wish happened more often.

We had 30 teams, which by regular standards is huge, but by Marina standards is below average by a handful of teams. I think Cinco de Mayo festivities and Tom Petty being in town are to blame. I was happy about ending the quiz before 12:10, though.

AND Chelsea's Corner is back!

Chelsea's Corner:
Ok! My playlist tonight was pretty crazy. I mean OPP and then Purple Eater, it can't get better than that. Well, it can, because it's my playlist. Anyways, I saw people dancing and grooving to my cool beats. Luckily it was all girls, boys are scary when they dance. And how do they dance with those weiners slangin' around? It's unnatural. But moving on, Samantha knows a lot about dildos right? And she's from Alabama, so that may be a reason why. I don't know what that means. I guess that's it. Chelsea's Corner out! And here is the Facebook Page that I made for you bitches!

 

Thanks for another great night! Be good to Ron next week. See you in 2 weeks! xoxo, Evelyn & Chelsea

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