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Brewmasters Bar & Grill
301 W Martin St
Raleigh, NC 27601
Thursdays: 7:00 PM
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10:19 PM, April 10, 2014
Scores
Eastbound and Lick Ur Boom Down (Whip Crack Sound Effect!) 75

Pug Life 53

Cobra Kai 53

Bears, Beets, and Battlestar Galactica 51

Oh, The Huge Manatee! 49

Duck Duck Goose 37

Yanks 34

Ho-Ho the Wonderdog!


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Quiz Schedule
Brewmasters Bar & Grill, Thursdays at 7pm
Hobert (Ho-Ho the Wonderdog!)

Hello, All!

My name is Hobert, and I'm your Quizmaster for Geeks Who Drink at Brewmasters Bar & Grill.

Here are some fun stats about me, ripped straight from my rookie trading card:

Name: Hobert Thompson

Height: a mean 6ft

Weight: a mean 200lbs

Shoe size: an average 10 1/2

Skills: Reading questions out loud, improv comedy-ing, film making, outdoorsmanship, horse wrangling, and listing.

Fun Fact: had his life long fear of snakes proved right after a snake bit his face.

Good morning Quiz-campers! Counselor/Quizmaster Hobert here with your quiz recap for Brewmasters Bar and Grill!

Spring has officially “sprung” or whatever it does, and the warm, pleasant air is choked with the pollen of thousands of trees trying to get it on. Here in Raleigh, NC, this weather, for some reason, inspires our populous to throw on exercise clothes and hit the pavement. Every single weekend it seems, there is a new 5K, half-marathon, marathon, color run, underwear run, or that one race where people try to run while eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. And I’m not even exaggerating. There is literally a new one every weekend where the streets are closed off, and life comes to a crashing stop so people can participate in the latest fitness craze.

Look, I know I’m a cynical jerk who spends his free time lounging in front of the TV, but I just don’t understand the appeal of the fun run. Charity run? Yeah sure, I can get behind that. But paying to do something you can do for free, only in the street? Nah, man. Can’t you see that man has been running away from running since our time began?

Initially, man’s ability to stand on two legs and run long distances was an evolutionary advantage. Sure, other animals have us in speed over short bursts, but we can always beat them in the long game, waiting till they tire out before we surround them and club them to death with sticks. But as soon as man could run, he found ways to get out of it. For example:

Agriculture: man planting food so he didn’t have to chase it.

Horses and other pack animals: finding animals we could trick into running while we sat on them.

Cities: putting all the stuff we might want to run to into one area, so we didn’t have to go as far.

Wheeled vehicles: horses without all the sass.

Kitchen appliances: not only do we not want to chase food; we want it to last longer so we don’t have to resort to chasing it as often. Also, we don’t want to run to get fuel to cook the food. Also, we want radiation to cook the food, so we don’t even have to stand near it while it cooks.

The internet: We don’t want to run after entertainment, sex, objects we want to buy, friends, news, mail, or artwork that depicts characters from Sherlock and Seinfeld in erotic situations.

I’m not suggesting that man is slowly turning into the blob people from Wall*E. I somewhat try to keep an active lifestyle. I’m just saying, if you want a fun, outdoor, exercisey experience, go for a hike or something. Running in a herd down a path is what our prey does. I guess what I’m saying is be careful this weekend, Raleigh runners. You’re going to get pretty tired running that race, and I’ll have had all day to rest up, and I’ll be out there after that race, stick in hand.

Tonight’s Quiz

We had a real barn-burner tonight, folks. And I don’t mean that in an Amish tragedy way. Seven teams competed for our top prizes, and after their successful jokering of the second round, Eastbound and Lick Ur Boom Down (Whip Crack Sound Effect!) pretty much had first place sown up.

But did the rest of the teams give up? Hell no! They soldiered on and to great success! Especially Cobra Kai, a veteran team that loves to argue with me (even when they are wrong, bless their hearts) and Pug Life, a team made up of a young Raleigh-ite and his Minnesota based parents. At the end of our eight rounds, Pug Life and Cobra Kai found themselves locked in a tie, so we decided (after they proved they were apparently unable to answer any of my sudden death questions) to have a good ol’fashioned dance off. Pug Life, forcing up its father figure, proved that fifty-year-old white guys can break it down impressively to Grand Master Flash and Furious Five. Great work, Pug Life. You really earned your prize, and I hope you can return to Minnesota and tell all your friends how weird NC is.


Brewmasters Bar & Grill
301 W Martin St
Raleigh, NC 27601
Thursdays: 7:00 PM
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9:27 PM, April 03, 2014
Scores
Lick Ur Boom Boom Down fka Ron Paul's Orthopedic Shoes 76

Fenga Papit 74

Sha'Dynasty 70

Poop Soup 54

Z Team 53

MDC 50

Ranch Is Stinky 47

My Moustache is Better Than Your Moustache 46

Cowboy Boots and Indians 36

Ho-Ho the Wonderdog!


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Quiz Schedule
Brewmasters Bar & Grill, Thursdays at 7pm
Hobert (Ho-Ho the Wonderdog!)

Hello, All!

My name is Hobert, and I'm your Quizmaster for Geeks Who Drink at Brewmasters Bar & Grill.

Here are some fun stats about me, ripped straight from my rookie trading card:

Name: Hobert Thompson

Height: a mean 6ft

Weight: a mean 200lbs

Shoe size: an average 10 1/2

Skills: Reading questions out loud, improv comedy-ing, film making, outdoorsmanship, horse wrangling, and listing.

Fun Fact: had his life long fear of snakes proved right after a snake bit his face.

Hello, all, and welcome to this installment of the Brewmasters Bar and Grill quiz recap! Now, I know that this won’t come as a surprise to you, my adoring quizzers and quiz-groupies, but I was never what you’d call “cool” as a younger man. My signature blend of awkward-yet-annoying wasn’t as finely honed in grade school, and I was, tragically, often the target of bullies.

if only I’d had the confidence back then to just stand up to my bullies and insult their mothers! Tonight’s round 6 was on the timeless art of the “Yo Mama” joke, a zinger format that has amused and insulted in equal measure generations of kids. Now, when you’re a kid, it’s pretty hard for you muster the wit to construct a really good Yo Mama, so you always have to pick them up from family, friends, or sadly now defunct Wild’n’Out.

Well, I don’t want my kids to suffer the embarrassment of having a Yo Mama everyone’s heard before, so I’ve written one specially for my kids to use. Let us peer into the future, and see Lil’ Hobert dealing with a bully…

Bully: Hey, Lil’ Hobert! I heard yo mama was so dumb she tried to eat an iPhone because she heard it was an apple!

Gaggle of kids: Ohhhhhh, burn!

Lil’ Hobert: Well. I heard yo mama lacked so much foresight, that when she was in her twenties she was convinced by socioeconomic pressures that working right out of college was somehow beneath her, and she viewed going back to school for a masters degree as a way to put off having to “settle.” Then, she racked up hundreds of thousands of dollars of student debt, and in a job market that has increasing devalued higher education as a job stipulation, she found herself taking unpaid internships to find any work experience in her field, yo. Then after all that, she ended up working in the service industry anyway, and the experience left her bitter and unable to afford larger ticket items like cars and houses!

Gaggle of kids: Geez, Lil’ Hobert, back off him, ok? He’s crying.

Lil’ Hobert: No…I bet you mama studied something like creative writing!

Bully: *weeps*

Lil’ Hobert: I bet that her meager savings was again depleted by the economic stress of having a child! And despite all this, because no one has ever told anyone otherwise, you’re going to repeat her mistakes, making you equally lacking in foresight as your poor, tragic mama!

Gaggle of kids: Damn, Lil’ Hobert. You’re mean…

Lil’ Hobert: Also, yo mama so fat, the reason they had to stretch The Hobbit into three movies is because she was in it!

Gaggle of kids/Bully: Daaaaaaaaaaamn!

Tonights Quiz

Tonight we had nine teams facing off for our top prizes. Immediately after starting, a schism erupted amongst the members of Ron Paul’s Orthopedic Shoes (they had too many people) and some of their members left to join Fenga Papit, causing RPO to pick a new name: Lick Ur Boom Boom Down (formerly known as) Ron Paul's Orthopedic Shoes. Despite this unwieldy name, LUBBDRPO stayed neck and neck with quiz veterans Sha’dynasty.

Sha’dynasty scored high in our early rounds, but faltered just slightly enough in the later rounds to let Fenga Papit and LUBBDRPO chip away at their lead. LUBBDRPO and Fenga Papit won the night!

Notes From Tonight’s Quiz

In tonight’s visual round of identifying celebrities who are currently in their 90’s we learned that our quizzers have a form of face blindness that prevents them from recognizing elderly people. Ranch is Stinky had a good strategy, though, just guess Betty White for every one. It earned them one point, and shows us a truth about our lives: at a certain point in aging, we will all start to look like Betty White.

Brewmasters Bar & Grill
301 W Martin St
Raleigh, NC 27601
Thursdays: 7:00 PM
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9:14 PM, March 27, 2014
Scores
Putin on the Ritz 67

Emily's Heroes 59

Sha'dynasty 49

Burger Booties 43

TEAm 37

Guacamole 32

The Yanks 27

RAMROD 11

Ho-Ho the Wonderdog!


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Brewmasters Bar & Grill, Thursdays at 7pm
Hobert (Ho-Ho the Wonderdog!)

Hello, All!

My name is Hobert, and I'm your Quizmaster for Geeks Who Drink at Brewmasters Bar & Grill.

Here are some fun stats about me, ripped straight from my rookie trading card:

Name: Hobert Thompson

Height: a mean 6ft

Weight: a mean 200lbs

Shoe size: an average 10 1/2

Skills: Reading questions out loud, improv comedy-ing, film making, outdoorsmanship, horse wrangling, and listing.

Fun Fact: had his life long fear of snakes proved right after a snake bit his face.

We open on a smokey taverna somewhere in war-torn 1940’s Italy. The patrons of the bar, who are all wounded Italian soldiers or factory workers, sit silently at their tables, sipping wine and small glasses of aperitifs. All are stoic, and lost in their own terrible memories. The large wooden door leading into the bar opens, and in walks a young man in a bright, white suit.

The patrons of the bar all sigh, but for once it’s not out of sadness.

The man starts to unpack a bag full of papers, pencils, and an old phonograph. He puts on a record. The Italian national anthem begins to play, and he begins to speak:

“Welcome, one and all, to tonight’s quiz. Please come and grab your pencils and paper, and we will begin!”

Slowly, one by one, the patrons of the bar stand up and get their quiz materials. The quiz begins, and as the quizmaster reads questions over the lilting sounds of violin concertos played over the phonograph, the patrons’ backs start to straighten, they start to joke with each other, and the bartender starts to pour drinks a little more freely.

“Alright! We are at our first scoring break for the evening. Mussolini è Morto continues to be our first, second, third, and fourth placed team, because every team picked that name except our last place team: Fascista…Più Come un Grasso-Shit! Yes, yes, very comical, and how you say? Too soon? Alright, I’ve lost communication with our quiz home office, so our next round I had to write all by myself, so round four tonight is ’Things we lost in the munitions factory explosion!”

An old woman in the back of the bar begins to weep.

“Alright, who exactly did we lose in that munition factory explosion?”

She begins to weep harder, and runs out of the bar.

“…Ok, it was Benitio. Isabella’s son. My apologies. Next question! This is a three part question, worth three points! In the wake of this terrible war, how will Italy find its identity? What place does the worker have in a post fascist world? Are we, the workers, doomed to toil for capitalism, or will a communist utopia flourish in the ruined land?"

The patrons of the bar begin to write furiously. As they continue to write, the man begins to pack up his supplies. The bartender approaches him, handing him a small, dingy glass of Campari.

“Are you leaving already, Quiz Maestro?”

“Sì, Roberto, my work here is done. These people have begun to write, and from those word seeds, novels, screen plays, and music will grow. Italy, she will be fine.”

“But Quiz Maestro, do you really think that’s true?

The man drinks down his Campari in one swig, and swings his tattered knapsack over his shoulder, turning toward the door.

“Sure, why not? As they say in Jurassic Park: la vita trova il modo.”

“Ciò che è Jurassic Park?”

The man walks out the door, and the bartender pours himself a drink. He sips it, and ponders what existence means.

FIN

Tonight’s Quiz

We had some great teams tonight at Brewmasters Bar and Grill. A crew of workers for some industry that I couldn’t comprehend (because I’m a serf) came to join us, splitting into three teams of very competitive players: TEAm, Guacamole, and Burger Booties. Sadly, our friends from the private sector apparently aren’t in the question answering sector, and they were unable to beat out our top teams for tonight.

Veteran teams Sha’dynasty and Putin on the Ritz faced off for our top prizes tonight, but Sha’dynasty was unable to topple Putin’s early lead (God, I hope this isn’t some sort of weird, quiz related omen of the situation in Ukraine…) and they were themselves displaced by newcomers Emily’s Heroes for the second place win tonight!

Notes From Tonight’s Quiz

I know that 5 Direction isn’t real, but I’d like them more if they went with that name. Thanks to team Guacamole for renaming those weirdly slim British boys.

Yes, Pan’s Labyrinth was an answer twice tonight, and if you haven’t seen it yet, and like feeling creeped out and crying, I recommend you see it! Or, just come to my quiz. Cuz I’m creepy and I make people cry, right?! Zing! Self Zing!

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