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The Highball
1142 S Lamar Blvd
Austin, TX 78704
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:58 PM, March 26, 2015
Scores
the arlen gun club 82

I'd rather have ted cruz for president 81

stomp the yard infant 77

chardeemacdennis quaid 72

hot cartoon sexx? 72

parliament quizzadelic (p-quiz) 72

scratch and sniff 72

sexy legs bill murray 70

red hot dicks 67

dadart 66

today put the ?why? in zayne 66

abusement park 64

mayor goldie wilson 61

beighton score 61

babies on unicycles 59

theo, not craig 59

chicken mcthuggets 56

rattlesnakes and condoms ? two things I don't fuck with 54

john travolta fan club 53

human encyclopedias 51

devil kitty 44

matthew and lacey 41

drinking springs 38

James Sterling Pound


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Quiz Schedule
Mondays 8PM @ Kick Butt Coffee, Tuesdays 8PM @ Pinthouse Pizza, Wednesdays 7PM @ The Highball
James (James Sterling Pound)

James is a Movie Geek, Comic Geek, Music Geek, Internets Geek, and Beer Geek.

HI-ghball! What up? Good times last night. Good to be back. Glad you guys were recovered from all your SXSW boozing to booze with us some. And quiz. Oh, did we quiz!

We covered accomplished alcoholics in our first round, then for Round Two we were GONNA tell you how the theme applied to the songs but figured you guys could suss it out. I guess we were wrong. Round Three, we checked in on good old Abe Vigoda, and yep, still alive! Round Four was about Willy Shakes, Bees buzzing, and the first known dildo. Round Five were the creepy and funny and creepy again clowns. Round Six took us back to history class and WWI, “the Great War”. Honestly, what war isn’t great though, right?! Next up we watched some devilishly fun clips, and I got bummed I missed the Alamo screening Legend this past weekend. Finally we wrapped it all up with Lifesavers flavors, Presidential facial hair, the western that Avatar ripped off that’s not called Fern Gully.

Our side game of the night was a wonderful coloring/campaign slogan contest for the one and only Ted Hussein Cruz. This motherfucker says he wants to be our next President, and we thought we’d help get the ball rolling on his campaign poster with your help. Apparently Teddy will mainly be running on a (crooked) dick platform. Understandable. I mean he is a total dick, so it should come natural. We had some amazing artwork adorning him, and hilarious word bubbles galore. In the end our winning poster featured Cruz Control getting tea bagged (get it?) by a set of Earths, with heat waves resembling the hair of the world’s scrotum and Teddy claiming, “They’re not real!… my balls that is.” I think he’ll love it. Congrats.

Thanks once more for joining us, twas a pleasure to quiz you. Come see us again next week! In the meantime, enjoy some classic White Stripes jams. 


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The Highball
1142 S Lamar Blvd
Austin, TX 78704
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:08 AM, March 20, 2015
Scores
Chesty Willow 79

Sector 7G 72

Rattlesnakes & Condoms: Two Things I Don't Fuck With 68

Dagger Party feat. Coco Fat Phat 65

South by Go Fuck Yourself 65

Hansel & Grundle 63

Fuck by Fuckwest 61

The Highballers 44

Fart by Fart Breast 40

Smoketown 409 34

Wildcocks to Uranus 23

Mos Before Bros 23

U8 7

Kavi Kardoshian


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Quiz Schedule
7pm Tuesdays at the Drag Bar
8pm Sundays at Black Star Co-op (scorekeeper)
Kavi Kardos (Kavi Kardoshian)

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire
Some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me, no-one else can save me now but you

As long as the planets are turning
As long as the stars are burning
As long dreams are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love
And I'l be there until the final act
I would do anything for love, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact
But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way, tonight
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that

Some days I pray for silence
Some days I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll
Some nights I lose the feeling
Some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls

Maybe I'm lonely, that's all I'm qualified to be
That's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep

As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the fires are burning
As long as your prayers are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love
And you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back
But I'll never do it better than I do it with you. So long, so long
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
No, no, no, I won't do...

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do...

But I'll never stop dreaming of you ev'ry night of my life, no way
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Will you raise me up? will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colourise my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?

Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?

Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?

After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on

I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be screwing around

Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

At Wednesday's quiz, John and I enjoyed the participation of a team of vehemently loyal young men with a penchant for alcohol and the American rock band Heart. I was so inspired by their love for one another and their skill at crafting paper airplanes that I decided to put together a bit of erotic friend fiction about the Highball's own Magnificent Seven. Enjoy.

 

Chad sat alone at the well-stocked bar, the condensation from his half-empty glass of Tank 7 wetting his fingertips.

It happens every time, he thought to himself. We play a quiz, we have a few drinks, he's always just an arm's length away - but I can't tell him how I feel.

Chad remembered the way Brock had looked tonight. Disheveled, but full of that same effortless charisma he'd noticed the very first time they met. That charm was why they called him the Spruce Goose. He remembered how their hands had touched, accidentally, as they collaborated on the construction of a relatively impressive paper airplane. Why didn't he say something? Why was it so hard?

As Chad stared into his glass, scolding himself for dropping the ball, he heard a crescendo of male voices rising from the Drafthouse foyer. He swiveled his barstool to get a better look.

It was Brock.

He'd left his phone at the table they'd shared, and now he and the other five had come back to retrieve it. Chad's heart skipped a beat.

"Hey, it's Chad!" Brock called out from across the mostly empty room. "What are you still doing here, bro?"

Chad smiled faintly and pointed to Brock's phone sitting on the table. He'd been too nervous to pick it up.

"Oh, sweet. I thought I'd lost it." Brock grabbed the phone and joined Chad at the bar. Their friends filed in next to him and quickly came to the conclusion that they'd order one more round so as not to leave Chad drinking alone. As they hailed the bartender and began discussing shots, Brock leaned closer to Chad.

"Hey man," he started, his voice low and halting. "I- I've been meaning to tell you something." Astonished, Chad looked up and met Brock's frightened eyes. His expression said it all. Chad took Brock's hand and quickly, so as not to alert their friends, pulled him toward the men's room.

There were no more words. Brock and Chad ducked into an empty stall and began furiously touching each other's butts. Everything was moving so fast. Chad had just gotten a good grip on one of Brock's cheeks when they heard the bathroom door open and the voices of their friends ring out over the sound of their panting.

"Brock? Y'all in here?" asked Dolph, the hefty one.

"Uh... yeah," Brock answered hesitantly. "I'm in here with Chad. I cut my finger on a glass and he was helping me wrap it up."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Slowly, Chad pushed open the stall door and the two of them were greeted by five inquisitive faces. José was the first to speak.

"How's your finger?" he asked. Brock held up his unblemished hands. They'd been caught.

"Hey man, it's okay. We won't judge you," Guy chimed in. "You guys are our friends no matter what. What you do with your own bodies is totally-"

He was cut off by the sound of Dolph's zipper being abruptly lowered. Six faces turned toward Dolph's ample crotch.

"I- I kinda want to touch butts too," Dolph confessed.

The levy broken, all seven young men struggled out of their clothes, and soon the bathroom air was filled with boyish musk and the strains of "Crazy On You," which Trent had expertly queued up on his iPhone. The butt touching resumed with fervor.

"Should we invite Kyle?" José asked, referring to the tasty Highball manager they'd all been secretly eyeing.

"No, I heard that guy has chlamydia," Guy answered. He gave Tad a swift smack on the rump. Tad, in turn, squeezed Guy's left cheek. Dolph and Trent rubbed their cracks together like their lives depended on it. All the while, Chad and Brock gazed lovingly into each other's eyes, having at long last made their wildest dreams come true. The butt play reached an explosive climax.

The seven boys collapsed to the floor, spent. After a few moments, they glanced at each other and began to giggle. This was a night they would remember for the rest of their lives.

 

Thanks for joining us, Highballers! James will be back next to week to join John for another sexy, sexy quiz. Till next time!

The Highball
1142 S Lamar Blvd
Austin, TX 78704
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
11:21 PM, March 12, 2015
Scores
Cromulent Treason 84

Why Am I hiding my beltcock? 81

no larry, no problem 80

the flaming envelopes 78

Serious @ yahoo . Com 74

kopenhagen killas 69

deleted by hillary 69

dr. huxstable's roofie prescription 68

the the mr mister duran duran 67

rattlesnakes and condoms ? two things I don't fuck with 64

arm and hammered 62

poutine on the ritz 61

pinot noir mid-size car 59

menage la qua 58

chicken mcthuggets 58

scratch n sniff 57

50 shades of bae 57

tamale balls 55

balla shot callas 54

hammer time 53

the left shark 51

OU dept. of diversity and inclusion 50

our team is too small to be good 49

two in the pinkberry, one in the stickberry 49

send carly to space fund 47

oh no my girlfriend doesn't know geography 47

super team domination 41

quizwalker 41

in dog beers we've only had one 36

alamo dogs 33

toby 3

James Sterling Pound


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Quiz Schedule
Mondays 8PM @ Kick Butt Coffee, Tuesdays 8PM @ Pinthouse Pizza, Wednesdays 7PM @ The Highball
James (James Sterling Pound)

James is a Movie Geek, Comic Geek, Music Geek, Internets Geek, and Beer Geek.

Hey hey hey Highballers! Great to see you guys last night. Heckuva great turn out for our last quiz before Hurricane Southbee. Glad you guys were ready to pre-party so early, gotta stretch those brain cells before you kill em all with free boozin’.

We talked a lot about celebrities last night which opened the flood gates of my starfuckery tales. Yes, indeed, when I was in middle school my theater class took a winter trip up to New York City to see some Broadway shows, be scared on the subway, and as it turns out spot some celebrities. We stayed at the Hilton Times Square and lucked into also being the location numerous sports stars were staying at for the opening of the Official All-Star Cafe. If you’re unaware of what the Official All-Star Cafe was (and why shouldn’t you be?), it was basically like Planet Hollywood and The Hard Rock Cafe but with sports memorabilia. There were booths shaped like baseball mits. There was 70 video monitors playing highlight reels. Oh, and “virtual reality video”. Well anyways, for the grand opening they truly did get the sports stars of 1995 to come out. 

 

That night I got to see in person Joe Montana (on crutches), Wayne Gretzky, baldy Andre Agassi with Brooke Shields in tow, giant bald genie Shaquille O’Neill, all of whom were investors in fact. My 12 year old mind was tackled by the awesomeness of celebrity on parade as they all came back from the opening night of their new venture. This place closed about 5 years later.

Oh yea, you guys did well on the quiz too. And I guess your celebrity sighting stories were pretty okay, too.

Thanks again for playing. Come escape the maddening crowds again next Wednesday for another shot at $50 cash. Love you forever.


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