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Little Woodrow's (Midtown) 2306 Brazos Houston, TX 77006 Wednesdays: 8:30 PM |
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I was all set to launch into a vitriolic tirade against Microsoft and how difficult it is to surf for Ashlynn Brooke videos write a blog when a forced update boots your laptop to a blank screen. I cursed all morning, rebooted in safe mode, did a system restore, ran diagnostics - and still, that damn blank screen. Ultimately, however, I did little to curry favor with the IT department when it was discovered that my secondary monitor was unplugged. I still blame Bill Gates.
We started things off in Round 1 with a bunch of "Duh!" questions the answers to which were forehead-slappingly easy in retrospect once revealed. Most teams did pretty well here but the Dingleberries came out on top with 6 points. Round 2 was an audio round featuring songs that not only mention various places but also present no difficulties for our perspicacious quizzers. Fully 14 of our 24 teams on hand used their joker this round, so confident were they, but the aural pleasure belonged to the Pinkly Tauruses with a perfect 16 point score. Moving into Round 3, I regaled you with the exploits of Egon Spengler and Adam Savage, and we had 5 teams that were almost perfect in distinguishing the Ghostbuster from the Mythbuster.
After our first scoring break, Round 4 hinged on terms the girls on each team use behind the backs of the guys who simultaneously assure each other don't apply: tiny penis metaphors. We enjoyed the musical stylings of King Missile while testing your knowledge of lipstick, gherkins, and baby carrots, netting perfect scores for two teams apparently made up of unsatisfied women and overcompensating men, the Pinkly Tauruses and Condoms & Rattlesnakes, both of which immediately requested name changes to Gunmetal Hummers and Condoms & Anacondas. Our visual round burned the images of assholes from the animal kingdom into your memory, and our second scoring break came after Round 6 on Locks, Stocks, and Barrels. Raise your hand if you went home and typed "Do a barrel roll" into Google. Come on, let's see 'em. Hey, you in the back, be honest. If you were too drunk to remember last night, I bet you're doing it now. I'll wait. In the meantime, I'll tell you that I'd Rather Be Watching Franklin & Bash and Han-Job came out on top with 6 points apiece.
Our second audio round channeled Ellen Page and her body of cinematic work, generating scores on both ends of the spectrum - aced by Sodomize Me Please! and tanked by the Hub, who guessed Juno on nearly every clip except the one that was actually Juno. After 7 rounds, only 1 point separated the 1st and 2nd place teams while two teams were tied for 3rd. As always, random knowledge was the key to Round 8, worth a potential 16 points. Few jokers remained however, and in the end, the standings were left unchanged, with Condoms & Rattlesnakes earning the grand prize, Pinkly Tauruses in 2nd, and a tie for 3rd between the Three Splooges and $14 Steaks? Thanks Obama. After one final test of wits, the latter took home the bronze while the former drowned their sorrows.
I wish I had taken a picture of the drunk girl who came up afterwards, impugned my quiz, mocked my questions, and averred her astronomical IQ. The gauntlet has been thrown down, m'lady, and I hope to see you along with all of our knights in shining geekery next week as we engage in glorious battle. Same time, same place. Until then, keep the horses saddled, the swords sharpened, and the mead plentiful.
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Little Woodrow's (Midtown) 2306 Brazos Houston, TX 77006 Wednesdays: 8:30 PM |
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The nights are getting warmer, and the quizzinators are getting smarter. Some pretty good scores last night on the second Wednesday in May, and I'm glad all of you made it out. I started my morning in a small town in Mexico boarding a little prop plane in the midst of a thunderstorm, so I was glad I made it too. I'm fine with flying, but if there are no atheists in foxholes, nor are there in seat 8C when you're bracing yourself against the overhead.
In any event, we started the evening with a round on evil, the devil, and fruits. Scores were fair to middlin', with Blood, Sweat & Beers coming out on top with 7 points. Guess they had the big brains. Look at the size of that boy's heed. I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick! That's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. Round 2, as usual, was an audio round worth a possible 16 points. Judging by the scores, song rewrites by the Christian band Apologetix are much more palatable than last weeks' TV-theme-song-dubstep. Only 5 of our 22 teams refrained from jokering this round, and the Grolar Bears surged ahead with a perfect score and a joker, netting them 32 points. We had a bit of a vocabulary lesson in Round 3, with Blood/Sweat/Beers, Condoms & Rattlesnakes, Pinkly Tauruses, and MLA earning "indelible" perfect scores, leaving the rest of you possessed of an "execrable" lexicon.
At our first scoring break, it would be well to introduce Dominica, our newest Geek Who Drinks. She'll be scorekeeping in an official capacity from here on out, so I would curry favor with her if you want leniency on your answers. She was drinking Karbach Weisse Versa last night. Hint, hint. Round 4 centered on Crime & Punishment with scores running the full gamut, and our visual Round 5 on celebrity initials and the periodic table presented no problems for anybody.
Round 6 was a very special extra audio round presented by none other than the Jeopardy-juggernaut himself, Ken Jennings. Well, his disembodied voice anyway. He took us through an array of questions on game shows, both Trebekian and non, floating In Your Bra and LSD to the top with 6 points apiece. This round was brought to you by Mr. Jennings' book Maphead which is now available in paperback at your local retailer which is no longer in business because you keep buying these things on Amazon or Kindle.
We followed up with our customary Round 7 audio featuring clips of animals talking to people in movies of which, going by scores, apparently far too many of you are enamored. With only Round 8 remaining, the Grolar Bears had kept themselves in the top 3, with Condoms & Rattlesnakes entering the fray, and Tough Guy & Tough Cookies holding onto third. However, only three teams had jokers in reserve, and they were put to good use on this potentially 16 point round. Some teams need to retake English 101 and refamiliarize themselves with the works of Shakespeare, but in the end, Condoms & Rattlesnakes emerged victorious, with Grolar Bears in 2nd, and the Pinkly Tauruses taking 3rd after a jokered 11 point Round 8 and some quick thinking on a tie-breaker question against LSD.
Thanks again to everybody for coming out, the lovely staff at Little Woodrow's Midtown, and of course our new scorekeeper Dominica. Either dropping my camera or one of your ugly mugs rendered it inoperable, so enjoy my phone pics at left. You owe me a camera. Until next week, you keep it geeky, Houston.
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Little Woodrow's (Midtown) 2306 Brazos Houston, TX 77006 Wednesdays: 8:30 PM |
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It was good for me. Was it good for you? After a few weeks of large crowds and tricky rounds, we humped this bitch back into submission and got it down to the 2 hour run time. But for some of you, the quiz couldn't end fast enough, and sweet relief could not come more swiftly. But before we get to the scores, a special shout out to one of our illustrious regulars, team Me lost a member to international relocation. Enjoy your time in ol' blighty, Stephanie.
To start things off, we had a mystery theme round centering on Shakesbeard, the famous pirate. All the answers featured the name of a character, setting, or title from the bard's oeuvre, and the scores ranged from English class nerds to English class turds. Tied at the top of this round with 7 points were the Pinkly Tauruses and the best team name of the night, that-day-fresh, Junior Seau Said OW! Next came an audio round filled with EXTREME covers where you had to give me the song title and the original artist. The death metal versions of pop and hip hop songs gave the most trouble, but I'd Rather Be Watching Franklin & Bash came out ahead with 11 points. Round 3 was a speed round, in which nobody got more than 5 of Forbes' top-earning dead celebrities of 2011 during our two and a half minute blitz. Kurt Cobain appreciates your vote of confidence, but he was not, in fact, a top earner.
Recently in stuff, we tried our hand at current events from around the world in Round 4, and teams did well, but if you wanted a perfect 8 points like Franklin & Bash or Pinkly Tauruses, you had to know that Ohio has more than just its eponymous river. Cuyahoga kept the rest of you in check. Round 5 was a universally perfect visual round which indicated that you people watch far too much TV. Universally perfect, that is, except for one team who only got 7 of 8, and whom I feel the need to publicly shame in this space viewed by millions, What Do You Mean You Don't Do Anal? You Do Now!
Round 6 covered dead things and gay things - and sometimes both. Nobody aced this one, but quite a few teams were tied with 6 points. For Round 7, I felt like Emperor Palpatine. I was literally feeding off your anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. This was an audio round of your favorite TV show theme songs, which Round 5 would seem to suggest you'd be good at, but when bastardized into dubstep, these clips left your ears bleeding and your scores wanting.
After seven rounds, the leaders were set apart by a mere 2 points each, but with most teams having a joker left to play, the wheat was separated from the chaff. As ever, Round 8 required random knowledge, yet out of a possible 16 points the highest score was only 9. Here we learned about European cities and vegetable oils, and shook our balled up fists of rage upon hearing that the cinematic abortion otherwise known as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was actually the highest grossing installment in the Spielberg series. Well placed jokers bumped I Like 'Em Young out of contention, and allowed Franklin & Bash to maintain the lead they held all night for 1st place, dethroning perennial powerhouse Pinkly Tauruses who came in 2nd, with Junior Seau coming in 3rd. Well, the team named after him, that is. You know, because he's dead. Is it insensitive to belabor this point? Please send all complaints to ++++CARRIER SIGNAL LOST++++
Until next week, my droogies.