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Wing Central On The Ave
4525 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:30 PM, August 27, 2014
Scores
Nightmare of Moloch 60

Boner Round 59

Microsoft 53

Chocobros 52

GOONTHER 49

Reuben & Maxwell's Fancial Haberdashery 48

Keep It Simple 43

Sgt. Jinglehonks


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Quiz Schedule
St. Andrews Bar & Grill: Tuesdays @ 8 pm
Marcus (Sgt. Jinglehonks)

Peace, love, and musicals.

Hey everybody! I get paid to write things. You will like them. Lookee here: www.marcusgorman.com.

‘Twas the hot month of August
And all through Seattle
All the people were scorching and
Sweatin’ like cattle 

(cows don’t sweat but SHUT UP)

85 degrees and
No sign of A/C
Because our skies are oft-gray
As you all can see 

(okay, this bar has A/C, but most places in Seattle are few and far between)

A bottle of water
Does only so much
A windmill’d be useful
But we are not Dutch 

(to quote Futurama, “WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!”)

I know that the country
Has temps worse than this
But that’s why I live here
So I don’t feel like piss 

(okay, I was in Phoenix a couple weeks ago and that was 105 degrees, but THERE WAS A/C. I obviously put A/C high on my list of priorities)

I now hear a truck
Full of delicious delights
Goddamn it, motherfuck!
The ice cream truck just drove out of sight 

(For real, that motherfucking ice cream truck just blasted past my block not realizing there was an overweight 31-year-old man nearby with a hole burning in his pocket, BECAUSE IT’S SO GODDAMN HOT AND I CAN’T FOCUS ON METER ANYMORE)

Come quickly, dear autumn
And relieve our heat
I’m about to melt
And nobody wants to keep smelling my horribly sweaty, flip-flopped feet

Wing Central On The Ave
4525 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:38 PM, August 20, 2014
Scores
Nightmare of Moloch 71

We're Gonna Blow Your Nips Off #wildcard 66

James and the Giant Bitches 52

Jizzual Round 51

Welcome New Steve 48

Badstuber & Robben 46

Sgt. Jinglehonks


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Quiz Schedule
St. Andrews Bar & Grill: Tuesdays @ 8 pm
Marcus (Sgt. Jinglehonks)

Peace, love, and musicals.

Hey everybody! I get paid to write things. You will like them. Lookee here: www.marcusgorman.com.

Once upon a late-night quizzy, I trained a newbie, all a’tizzy
Over many a pint at a former venue of forgotten lore,
While I orated, increasingly drunk, suddenly there came a kathump
As of some one gently thumping, thumping at my addled core
‘‘Tis Steve Smith,’ I muttered, ‘thumping at my addled core
Want he quiz, and nothing more?’

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in…some fucking month, I don’t remember
And each separate question wrought its ghost upon my brain.
Eagerly I trained the gent; - speed rounds, jokers, tokens spent
From my wits I told him all, all that Geeks Who Drink contains
For the rare and radiant trainee, all that Geeks Who Drink contains
Quizmaster here for evermore.

Round 1: First Class Folks

Best Score: 7 (Nightmare of Moloch, We’re Gonna Blow Your Nips Off #wildcard)
Worst Score: 4
Comment: Ralph Ellison did not write Dracula. Although that would be a fascinating take on the vampire myth, taking place in Harlem and whatnot.

Round 2: They’re Just Not As Good As You Think
Best Score: 11
Worst Score: 2
Comment: When in doubt, Welcome New Steve fell back on writing AC/DC. For four separate answers. Joke’s on you. AC/DC is as good as the fans think they are.

Round 3: Was Larry King Alive?

Best Score: 7 (James and the Giant Bitches)
Worst Score: 4
Comment: It’s good that Larry King was allowed to enjoy the 21st Amendment when he was a baby.

Round 4: Recently in Stuff (8/20)
Best Score: 7 (Nightmare of Moloch)
Worst Score: 4
Comment: Aaaaha….fuck Rick Perry.

Round 5: Here’s Eight Pictures of Long-Dead People Having Sex
Best Score: 8 (Nightmare of Moloch, Jizzual Round, Welcome New Steve)
Worst Score: 6
Comment: Ancient boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooners.

Round 6: Royal Academy Hillbillies
Best Score: 7 (Nightmare of Moloch)
Worst Score: 3
Comment: The answer was Emma Thompson. Not “suck my dick!” Nice try, Jizzual Round.

Round 7: Slo-Mo Schlomoes
Best Score: 6
Worst Score: 4
Comment: If I got at least five people interested in watching Starter for 10 with James McAvoy and Brundlefly Caspermuff, then I’ve done my job.

Round 8: Random Knowledge
Best Score: 11 + Joker (Nightmare of Moloch)
Worst Score: 7
Comment: Holy shit, no. Pamela Anderson did not have sex with Tommy Lee Jones. No! No no no no no. How dare you put such an image in my head, quizzers. HOW DARE!

Wing Central On The Ave
4525 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:40 AM, August 14, 2014
Scores
O Captain My Captain 80

Goodbye Forever, Steve's Mustache :( 56

In Fourth Place 55

Boner Round 54

Team Fuckup 53

Steve Who? 51

I Am Your New Overlord 50

I Am Groot 47

Steve (said in chipmunk voice) 35

Sex Panthers 33

Banana Stand 29

Stevetothesmith


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wing Central on the Ave, Wednesday 8:00pm.
Steven Smith (Stevetothesmith)

Without rules life would be anarchy. Anarchy is for kids graffitiing bathroom walls and protesting undergrads in Guy Fawkes masks. We at Wing Central on the Ave live by one simple rule of quizzing; don't be a dick. Those who dare challenge this rule through abnoxious answer shouting, cell phone answer checking and questioning Quizmaster will be swiftly dealt with. The punishment? Probably nothing more than public ridicule and fat shaming. Fat shaming is pretty much the only kind of shaming I'm allowed to do these days. If you can handle this rule, I welcome you to join our weekly quiz. I may even buy you a beer. I'm pretty fucking awesome like that.     

Well, that was an interesting way to end my tenure as host at Wing Central on the Ave. Months ago I made a promise to eat the infamous Hell Wing before a round. Tonight, I regrettably made good on that promise. For those of you who weren’t lucky (sic) enough to see the effect that devilish piece of chicken had on me, I’ll try to describe the feeling. It started out hot, but not painful. My mouth burned a bit and I slammed some beer down to keep it cool. About a minute and a half later, shit got real. My body started rejecting not only the ghost pepper infused confection, but literally everything else I had inside of me. This included the few beers I had throughout the night and the two pieces of pizza I ate before the quiz. I lost all control. I tried ice water and ranch dressing, but could barely make it through a sentence. Then I puked. Yes, your generally serious Quizmaster lost all control, blacked out from the heat, and released everything. It was probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done in public. By the end of the night, I was back to good. For those of you who did see this mess, I apologize for the lack of professionalism. It was a hell of a way to go out. Someone better throw that shit on YouTube soon. 

As I said, tonight was my last stint as Quizmaster at Wing Central on the Ave. I can’t express how awesome of an experience these past two years have been. From the slow ass evenings to the jam-packed quizzes, I’ve truly enjoyed getting to stand in front of you all and say swear words. My regulars are some of the coolest people I’ve ever had the opportunity to hang around. You guys made this little side job the highlight of my week without fail. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

We also had a quiz tonight. For brevity, I’ll just list the winners. They are also to the left of this text if you’re not into reading. First place this evening went to O Captain My Captain with a dominating win. You guys crushed pretty much every round. Welcome back. Second place went to my good friends Goodbye Forever, Steve’s Mustache L. My mustache will miss you too. Third place went to a slimmed down version of the Mighty Fighty Shushbugs known as In Fourth Place. Classic.

Next week starts the reign of your new Quizmaster Marcus. He is my Obi Wan of Quizmastery so I know you are all in great hands. Treat him well and keep on rocking at Wings. Just avoid that fucking Hell Wing.  

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