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Wing Central On The Ave
4525 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:14 PM, September 10, 2014
Scores
Do Your Best 70

Sonofabitch! 59

Free Josh Gordon! 57

Ray Rice's "Knockout" Bellhop Services Inc. 56

Team Fuck Up 55

ALS Well That Ends Well 48

Goldilocks & the 3 Bears 43

The Professor 42

Sgt. Jinglehonks


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Quiz Schedule
Wing Central on the Ave: Wednesdays @ 8 pm
Marcus (Sgt. Jinglehonks)

Peace, love, and musicals.

Hey everybody! I get paid to write things. You will like them. Lookee here: www.marcusgorman.com.

Just spent a few days in good ol’ CA

The place of my birth, named Berkeley, East Bay

Born in a bucket, and raised in the woods

Never grew up like a growing boy should

My teen years were spent in the classroom of life

Picking out berries, fighting bears with a knife

The great wolves who raised me, why, they were the best

You may call me feral, but surely you jest

They put me through college, with bear pelts as cash

I spent those four years smoking nothing but hash

A degree I possess, though I’m not quite sure how

But whatever, dear lord, for I’m a quizmaster now

 

Okay. I’ve written myself into a corner. Yes, I was just in Northern California for the last few days, and while it was mostly for my wife to settle some banking affairs with her father, it also turned into a sweet burlesque show in Oakland, the ability to housesit for my parents in the Berkeley Hills, a second viewing of Guardians of the Galaxy, and a long night in San Francisco’s Outer Mission that involved glorious hipster nonsense such as a one-woman electric cello concert, space dresses, and a hovering Carmen Miranda painting that just wouldn’t leave me alone. It’s always nice to visit home, but despite wearing an Oakland Athletics jersey more often than I really should around here, Seattle has been my home for five years, and I’m glad to be back.

Now, if they could only make a bullet train between the Bay Area and Seattle, because goddamn do I hate some air travel. [insert stand-up comedy routine]

See you next Wednesday at 8 p.m. sharp!

Wing Central On The Ave
4525 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
11:37 PM, September 03, 2014
Scores
The Limeys and the Yanks 71

Team Fuck Up 65

That's A Lotta Nuts! 62

Pterodactyls Are Pterrifying 58

#Freecylermiles 56

Pop & Lochness Monster 55

Buster Posey's Grandma 51

Poptarts 19

Sgt. Jinglehonks


Twitter
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Web

Quiz Schedule
Wing Central on the Ave: Wednesdays @ 8 pm
Marcus (Sgt. Jinglehonks)

Peace, love, and musicals.

Hey everybody! I get paid to write things. You will like them. Lookee here: www.marcusgorman.com.

How do I quiz thee? Let me count the ways

I quiz thee to the depth and breadth and height

Of my double pint, which feels a little light

Bring forth another Being of ideal Grace

I quiz thee to the level of yays and nays

Of Chipmunks, Rumpshakers and weens

I quiz thee freely, as men have peens

I quiz thee purely, as women have vajayjays

I quiz thee with the passion of nerds

In my old briefs, and with little deodorant

I quiz thee with a love I will not lose

Through alcoholism,—I quiz thee with the breath

Smiles, beers, of all your lives!—and, if Kink choose,

I shall but quiz thee better after death

 

---

Here are my favorite wrong answers of the night.

1. I asked which famous racist directed Birth of a Nation. Nobody got D.W. Griffith, but I did get

- Oscar Wilde

- Racist Whiteypants

- Mel Gibson

- Hitler

2. I asked which organization had the motto “Do Your Best?” What’s a great wrong answer to that? The Special Olympics.

 

See you next week!

Wing Central On The Ave
4525 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
11:30 PM, August 27, 2014
Scores
Nightmare of Moloch 60

Boner Round 59

Microsoft 53

Chocobros 52

GOONTHER 49

Reuben & Maxwell's Fancial Haberdashery 48

Keep It Simple 43

Sgt. Jinglehonks


Twitter
Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Wing Central on the Ave: Wednesdays @ 8 pm
Marcus (Sgt. Jinglehonks)

Peace, love, and musicals.

Hey everybody! I get paid to write things. You will like them. Lookee here: www.marcusgorman.com.

‘Twas the hot month of August
And all through Seattle
All the people were scorching and
Sweatin’ like cattle 

(cows don’t sweat but SHUT UP)

85 degrees and
No sign of A/C
Because our skies are oft-gray
As you all can see 

(okay, this bar has A/C, but most places in Seattle are few and far between)

A bottle of water
Does only so much
A windmill’d be useful
But we are not Dutch 

(to quote Futurama, “WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!”)

I know that the country
Has temps worse than this
But that’s why I live here
So I don’t feel like piss 

(okay, I was in Phoenix a couple weeks ago and that was 105 degrees, but THERE WAS A/C. I obviously put A/C high on my list of priorities)

I now hear a truck
Full of delicious delights
Goddamn it, motherfuck!
The ice cream truck just drove out of sight 

(For real, that motherfucking ice cream truck just blasted past my block not realizing there was an overweight 31-year-old man nearby with a hole burning in his pocket, BECAUSE IT’S SO GODDAMN HOT AND I CAN’T FOCUS ON METER ANYMORE)

Come quickly, dear autumn
And relieve our heat
I’m about to melt
And nobody wants to keep smelling my horribly sweaty, flip-flopped feet

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