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The Refinery
702 W Dallas St
Houston, TX 77019
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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9:49 AM, June 18, 2013


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Scores

Cataquizm	80

Hopeless Romantic Seeking Filthy Whore	73

Hungry and Homeless	72

Robert Kraft Liked It? So He Put a Ring On It	70

Car Ramrod	69

Mayor of Crazy Town	49

Barbearnick	49

The Hemrites	33

"You should tell Jared he should hold the mic like a dick" and other great advice.

Geoff Marolda

Yes… literally those words came out of someone’s mouth when I asked them how Jared (our newest member of the Houston Quizmaster Realm of Awesomeness and Knitting Club) could improve his quizmasterin’ form. While speechless, I didn’t lose my mind until someone rebuffed that saying… “no, he needs to hold it less like a dick.” What the fuck are you people looking for in a good quizmaster? Is this how my performance is being rated when I am hosting? Whether my mic holding skills are on par with a blowjob? God forbid we just host a great quiz and everyone gets drunk and drops some knowledge. No, now we are measured on whether I could possibly deepthroat the microphone in its position relative to my face.

That is but the tip of the ice burg when it comes to advice some of you people feel the need to impart on us. I know it is human nature to believe that you are the greatest at anything you do at any given time and that the rest of us should stop drooling long enough to worship your skills; but geez fellas, you need to give us a little breathing room. I am always a fan of criticism… especially of other people but there is a time and a place and certainly telling me how to host a quiz in the middle of round 6 is certainly not it. It gives of a certain “what the hell are you doing next to my laptop?” aroma that I just do not find appealing.

Here are some of the greatest pieces of advice I have ever received both before, during, and after the quiz and my comments that I may or may not have said out loud:

“You guys should need to have more pencils. Every person on my team likes to take notes”
- That is all well in good until you fuckers start stealing my pencils and I have to start stealing pens from the waitresses.
“You should hire my band to play in between questions."
- No… no we should not
“You should hold the mic like a dick”
- Have you ever held a dick? Ever spoke to it at the same time? Where is your frame of reference?
“You should repeat that more because some people were talking.”
- Yeah, I saw you talking the whole time, d-hole.
“You should ask more sports questions.”
- No, we ask an appropriate amount. And guess what, you usually get most of those wrong. You assumed sports meant easy. So next time just ask for easy questions to make sure I know you are slow before I respond.
“You should give out more drink prizes.”
- Yes, nothing wins your waitress over like handing her drink coupons in between your 6 refills of water. Buy a drink and tip you ungrateful bastard.
“I do trivia all the time at this other bar and what they do is…”
- Let me stop you right there and inform you I could not give two tiny shits about your 4 hour trivia sessions with DJ Cargo Shorts and MC Blowout. While you continue telling me about how much better that quiz is I will be making fun of your ironic tee in my head.

So… next time you have some advice for me… stow that away and think on it a bit before we entertain the thought that you know how to do my job better. Excuse me while I get off my high horse here. There we go. Anyways, last night’s quiz was pretty awesome and one thing I discovered about having a scorekeeper/someone in training is that it enables me to get drunk. Which I certainly tried to do. And partly succeeded. Jared handled himself well and read the shit out of some Round 6. Congrats to Catequizm (love the name, hate the team) who won first place again… I am serious when I say I will buy beer for whoever beats them. Hopeless Romantic Seeking Filthy Whore edged out Hungry and Homeless by one point for a second place victory. Mayor of Crazy Town (Jared’s lovely wife) won our Teeball award for the team that played all 8 rounds and got last place. Finally, Robert Kraft liked it… so he put a ring on it went home with a free beer for best team name. We’ll see you guys next week.

-Geoff

The Refinery
702 W Dallas St
Houston, TX 77019
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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11:40 AM, June 11, 2013


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Scores

Bach in Quizzness	90

Hungry and Homeless	87

Anu Start	83

Solid as a Maury Povich Paternity Test	78

It's a Nice Day for a Red Wedding	76

Chunks and Floaties	74

My Couch Pulls Out but I Don't	73

Amanda Bynes Stole My Blow	66

Planet Klandathu	64

Booty Sweat	62

We did it like they did it on the Dsicovery Channel...

Geoff Marolda

How about those $8 buckets of deliciousness? I am definitely feeling that this morning. Nothing says hangover like drinking four different shitty amazing beers. That must be what brought you all to the quiz. That and the chocolaty goodness that is my voice. I know, I rule.

I am pretty impressed with you guys lately. You guys have been rocking the quizbot lately and every week you guys show up to play. Except Marco. He shows up to suck. And man is he good at that. But serials, we had ten awesome (except Marco) teams last night and you made it really competitive. I am stoked to see that Hungry and Homeless has ended the dry spell and crawled back into the standings. They were barely edged out by Bach in Quizzness (side note: it’s is actually Back in Quizness but they are such shitty writers than I can’t read their answer sheets) who had a pretty solid rounds in 5 and 8 to take home the gold.

It’s a Nice Day for a Red Wedding took home the prize for Best Team Name and promptly left before they could get their free drink (it was refreshing, I assure you) and Booty Sweat won the highly coveted Tee Ball Award for the team that came in last place and played all 8 rounds. Way to go Marco!

We had some pretty high scores this week and I am confident you guys are getting better. Why are you getting better? Because of our weekly recap that points all you misguided souls to a better tomorrow. So here we go…

BJs are always fun. Just kidding, Bruce Jenner sucks.
Bo Jackson will forever be known as the greatest athlete in real life and Tecmo Bowl. To the one girl who asked what the Tecmo Bowl had to do with the question… you almost got throat kicked.
Boys of Summer is still stuck in my head. So is Heaven. Fuck. One of those is actually worth the headache.
“But Integra is an Acura!!!! Wahhhh!!!” That was me making fun of you. Imagine me saying that like a 6 year old girl and you are on the same page as me.
Car names are stupid. What the fuck is a Neon? Come on Dodge. You are better than that. Might as well call it Sparkles.
How is Kat Von D as important/relevant as she is? Did she make a sex tape? Excuse me a second…
Somehow Punk’d got even shittier hosts than Ashton Kutcher for its revival. I need to wrap my head around that.
Joe Biden is secretly racist.
To be honest, that was hard ass visual round. I only knew Jude Law and Lucy Liu. And only because I have masturbated to one of them pretty often. You can guess which one… by gum Watson.
That drunk guy at the bar didn’t know shit about airfoils. Sorry for whoever listened to him.
The Bloodhound Gang is stuck in my head now… good thing it’s freakin’ AWESOME!!!!
These things are not classes of animals:
- Slugs
- Newts
- Geoff
- Fossils
- Coral
Greek Yogurt is actually bad for the environment… take that hippies. Also, it tastes terrible.
I still can’t belive I pronounced Hemocyanin correctly as many times as I did.

Check out Rumble in the Pub on the website and make sure you sign up for the weekly newsletter. I am tired of Hungry and Homeless winning all my awesome prizes. We will see you guys next Monday at 8pm.

Aloha, Geoff

The Refinery
702 W Dallas St
Houston, TX 77019
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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12:07 PM, June 04, 2013


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Scores

Wham! Bam! Thank you George Michael	77

Quizmaster's Printer is as "Clutch" as the Red Wings	73

The Mondays	71

Hibbert & Collins: Bangin' for Boards? No Homo	70

Methodone Actors Annonymous	69

Abusement Park	53

Wiki Needs a Home	49

Wolf Pack	45

Blake	41

Hungry and Homeless	37

I am Quizdor!

Geoff Marolda

Quizzer me timbers. I have to say I was pretty goddamned impressed with you all last night. You came out in force and were competitive from 1^st place to Hungry and Homeless (all the way at the lonely, lonely bottom). I had a lot of fun last night and from what it sounded like so did you. See happens when you get people to come to the quiz? Magic happens. That may or may not be copyrighted by Disney by whatever. I’m a rebel.

Nothing too crazy really happened last night except that the Pacers got smoked by the Miami Heat, I had a ridiculous sunburn (hence drinking nothing but water and lack of sudden movements), and that one guy that didn’t quite understand why I would let him stand behind my laptop. I trust that you aren’t going to cheat, but I have to give off the appearance of being fair and unbiased even though I am not so. I didn’t mean to cause a scene but for serials: don’t get behind my laptop. Unless you are one of the cute girls from Wham! Bam! Thank you George Michael. You can go wherever you would like. Just kidding, there are limits. Like, I’m not going to just give you the answers just because you are hot. At least not all of them. I have morals. Not many, but some.

Anyways, you guys should keep on coming back to Refinery because the more people are there the better. I convinced them to start offering the beer bucket specials for you guys again (you’re welcome) so don’t fucking blow it. I would have been all over the beer bucket if it hadn’t been for my crippling sunburn which is causing me to get dehydrated if I even think about a Dr. Pepper. So there you go.

What did we learn on Monday? Well let me tell you:

The 700 Club was started by 700 telethoners? No shit.
Northern Exposure is set in Alaska. The only thing they are exposed to is polar bears, alcoholics, and ice. Not necessarily in that order.
Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay may be one of the greatest songs ever. I just turned on my Slacker Radio (plug!) to that station and at least twenty women have dropped off their panties walking by my office door.
Rachel McAdams was 26 years old in Mean Girls? Thank goodness. That makes my boners much less creepy.
You don’t know shit about cows.
I suck at printing out visual rounds.
NBA Jam is responsible for about 25% of my childhood income from hustling kids at Discovery Zone.
Weezer had two good albums… just kidding. I can see how that question may have thrown some of you off.
Go look up Ambrse Bierce’s An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and get some culture with your burger.
TROGDOR!!!!!!
Number 7 in round 7 was Se7en. Mind. Blown.
Taco Bell is doing breakfast now? Now my colon will never recover.
Latin is the root of most languages. You should probably invest some time in that. Nuns do and look how they turned out.
I can’t believe none of you Reddit. This blog took three hours to write because I had to take 37 Reddit breaks. You must be some productive fuckers at work.

Anyways, congrats to Wam! Bam! Thank you George Michael for winning first place on the scorecard and in my heart. Quizmaster’s Printer is as “Clutch” as the Red Wings won second as well as tied for best team name. The other best team name was Hibbert & Collins: Bangin’ for Boards… No Homo. Our Tee Ball Award winners were Hungry and Homless and after their performance on Monday I can see why that is.

We’ll see you guys next Monday at 8pm. Make sure to sign up for the newsletter and check out the Houston Beer Festival this Saturday at 1pm.

Laters, Geoff

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