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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
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12:11 PM, October 20, 2014
Scores
When the shit fit hits the fan 81

Misogyny is the new black 80

Greg2 and Friends = fun 79

Good Team 78

#poundsign 77

Dick Bangdana 73

Chodelick 72

Blue Team, Blue Balls 66

4-Skinz 65

Your Afgan hound is smarter than three honor students 65

Randoms 60

Creepy ass cracker 58

Team Schmean 58

Us 20

The four 12

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

We're still being kept hostage by ebola. Correction, the latest hostage threat by our Newsertainment industry is a disease called ebola, which statistically speaking is less common in the U.S. than marrying Kim Kardashian. Let's keep this in perspective, I'm much more terrified that I'll accidentally marry Kim.

Anyways, you may be wondering how long we have to keep talking about this. Well, inevitably, now that those associated with the first U.S. death have been “cleared,” that may be a sign that CNN et. al. are bored of this and will make like a snow queen. But there actually is a scientific answer from the WHO for when an ebola epidemic is over. You see, today, Nigeria's outbreak has been declared over. That's because they calculate the incubation time from the last reported case, and double it. If double the incubation time of the last diagnosis is past, they're reasonably sure that the “outbreak” has ended.

Blah blah blah, what's your point? Right, here it is. The incubation period is 3 weeks. That's 21 days. Two full incubation periods is...

42 days.

42.

The answer to life, the universe, and everything. Coincidence? I think not! This is a sign, and that sign is that we all need to stop paying attention to cable news derived stories because it's as made up as my correlation between a Douglas Adams' novel and a WHO guideline.

So, turn it off. Tell your parents and your crazy Aunt to turn it off. In fact, let's riot at the offices of each of the major cable companies demanding they cancel the Newsertainment stations. Because irony of Fox News and CNN covering the story of people taking to the street to end their reign of terror is delicious.

Tasty tasty irony.

Anyways, we had When the shit fit hits the fan taking the win, with Misogyny is the new black right behind them.

Frankly, it's about time misogyny takes a back seat.

Hugs & Kisses. 

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:30 PM, October 16, 2014
Scores
Veto 85

Shit Crap Poop Haha! 84

In first place, Swussy 80

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah 79

Amazeballs 79

My parents went to Liberia and all they got me was this shitty ebola 78

Purple Hall 77

Crack Suicide Sausage Fest 77

Sexual Flavour Favours 76

Things you hear in a whorehouse 76

Blumpkin Spice 75

Fuck you, Wes! 72

Ebola? Fuck, how much does Frontier charge to carry that on? 71

Costco Zip-ups 71

Fall Break, Fuck yeah! 70

4 for fighting 67

Jesus Christ Fenton 67

The Sister Wives 65

Switchblades 64

Viva the Commonwealth 64

Back Porch Philosphers 61

Ebola? I hardly know her! 59

Two guys one cup 59

Ebola, still only the #9 reason to not visit Texas 58

Dead Weight 57

We can't hear the questions 53

Team Rocket 52

Bitchez 46

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot 28

Off Constantly 17

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


Twitter
Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

The Simpsons. Aside from the yellow family that we've loved or that has simply become one of those cliché talking points people say when they're trying to look cultured, there are so many Simpsons with fame or notoriety. None seem more notorious than Hollywood's own, O.J. Simpson.

You may remember O.J. From Naked Gun fame. After being rejected from Dragnet, he became the unfortunate sidekick of Lieutenant Frank Drebin of Police Squad. O.J., or rather his stunt double did an incredible job of taking so many hits to entertain us. From what I've heard, before that he was some sort of athlete. You know, the way Vinny Jones and The Rock played sports before becoming much more famous actors.

Oh, yeah, there was that whole being tried for murder, getting off due to the most expensive legal team ever, possibly being Khloe Kardashian's father, and rumors of the worst idea for a book since The Twilight Saga.

But, little did you know that O.J. has a rap sheet that is not only as long as it is hilarious. Among the highlights was “speeding through a manatee protection area” which brought a $65 fine but could have resulted in an arrest due to skipping the court appearance. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I'm told no manatees were harmed, which is truly the important thing here.

But eventually we was locked up thanks to grand theft football cards. Allegedly O.J. and another man busted into the hotel room of a couple of memorabilia sellers, guns pointed and screaming that “they were selling his shit.” What's the charge for something that ridiculous? 33 years in prison.

Methinks something else was afoot in that conviction. Or, I'm really glad I only shoplifted music as a child, and not baseball cards. They'd have locked me away and thrown away the key.

Veto, not just something a republican governor does to any law that doesn't benefit him financially. No that is our winning team for the night. Coming behind them with what I can only assume was a last-second hail-mary name was Shit Crap Poop Haha!

Or one of their players (or all of them?) was literally three kids stacked on each other like in The Little Rascals.

As I always say, the hardest part of the evening is coming up with a team name. It all runs smoothly after that.

See you lovelies next time. Try to pick up on the hints I'm dropping all over this place, mmmkay?

Hugs and Kisses!

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:53 PM, October 13, 2014
Scores
Vagina, the original man cave 83

Bees? 81

The frothy merkins 78

Glueten-Free, non-GMO, artisanal Ebola 76

Dick Bangdana 75

Fighting to see who gets to fuck Chase first when he gets back 75

Microphones remind me of robot dicks 74

We can still drink here 73

Geology Rocks 70

Team Discovery Channel 67

Right angles gone wrong 67

Three Two One Contact 66

Elephants 65

The brain farts 65

Fry Sauce 63

Bloody Mary 61

Chardee MacDennis 61

McCauley Culkin 60

Baby Blues 50

Topical Humor 5

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


Twitter
Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

Sure, you all love your funnel cakes, corndogs, and cotton candy, but no one loves a good hog judging? I'm not criticizing, as you could probably discern, I don't even have any idea what goes on at a State/County/Or otherwise Fair. I can't even remember the last time I went to one. I know, it's the hipster thing to do, and everyone seems to love going to the Utah State Fair. But every year when it comes around I just seem to be busy doing... anything other than going to the fair.

And apparently when we 4-H theme an audio round, that means it will be a painful assortment of songs you mostly don't know. But come on, Sowing the Seeds of Love by Tears for Fears is a classic. CLASSIC! To be fair, a lot had the title, but then followed that with every possible 80s band ever.

All in the same boat together. My apologies. I was feeling stabby after acknowledging the existence of Jar Jar Binks. It still hurts.

And you know what else would hurt? Getting chest compressions to Heart of Glass by Blondie. Do you mean the slow beginning, or the bad-ass rap part? Either way, you're killing the dude.

So, Vagina: The Original Mancave managed to dominate round two, and held on to a tight lead to finish with the win. Bees? jumped up to take second with a skillful joker and a respectable score in nearly every round. Those two were also the teams who had the misfortune of knowing more about Nicolas Cage than you.

I'm not sure if they should be proud. No, I know they shouldn't be proud. But they've got a lot of free drinks to drown that shame.

Hugs and Kisses.

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