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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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10:43 AM, August 25, 2014
Scores
Topical Humor 75

Sacrificial Lambs 66

Drinking under the banner of heaven 59

Front Porch Existentialists 57

Dick Bangdana 56

Flying Solo 56

I protested in Ferguson and all I got was this lousy concussion 53

Erotic Friend Fiction Writers Anonymous 52

#saltyhairdontcare 51

...and we're down one 45

I pooped a little 44

Starburst 40

C&T 27

P-Town Peeps 13

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

Dear Diary,

Today I learned that the average SL,UT resident knows nothing about rap lyrics. Also, they have not seen So I Married an Axe Murderer. I suddenly feel so different. I'm an outsider in this world. My youth was spent so much differently than others.

That's right. Mine was obviously better!

When we do an obscure-cover version round two, it typically means lower scores. I get it, it's hard for many people to pick out the familiar elements of a song when they're separated. You're used to the rhythm, melody, and lyrics being combined. But this was... Simply wow. A couple of teams hit 10 points, and one nailed a lucky 13 points to knock this quiz out of the ballpark. The best part, some of the team had varying experience with Geeks Who Drink, but this was a virgin team. Now they are BFFs, or whatever you kids are calling it these days.

I was so glad to be home, in my comfortable Piper Down. As I mentioned, I spent the weekend in one of the most hellacious places on earth. Let's call it: Hotsnail. If you've ever wondered if pretentious had identifying physical characteristics, it does, and they're sensory overload in Hotsnail. This has to be the only place on earth where one of those “master-planned” residential/retail establishments is built, and the place is more full of wannabes than residents. Everyone clamoring to be seen at terrible restaurant/bars with overpriced drinks and even more overpriced food. Lipstick, meet pig.

It makes you wonder who has it worse. The people of Hotsnail who put on this show like they're in Las Vegas and believe anyone on earth is paying attention to them, or the type that put on their fancy shirt and jeans for a classy dinner at Olive Garden.

Either way, the biggest loser is your wallet and the delicate system of organs involved in trying to break down the “food” being consumed. My heart goes out to you. Also, please learn how to drive. Y'all are terrible at that.

But back to the quiz, and happy things. Topical Humor dominated the game thanks to a stunning knowledge of rap lyrics. Sacrificial Lambs came second. All of you are beautiful, and I'll see you next time!

 

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:30 PM, August 20, 2014
Scores
Fuck you, Wes! 86

Woman mercifully spared from drinking Dickie's sweet tea 83

Crack Suicide Squad 79

Rent-a-dildo 78

Off constantly 77

Supersonic Butt Crepes 76

I want it to be offensive, not racist 73

Back Porch Philosophers 73

Switchblades 72

Team Redundancy Team 72

Hydroxyl Group 71

Dick Bangdana 69

Koalafying 69

Legalize Farts 68

#fangirlproblems 68

Rock Tit 68

Nerd Bully 67

Because fry sauce is stupid 66

Just the tip 65

Platypussies 65

The Titanic beat everyone at the ice bucket challenge 61

We suck 59

I'm drunk 56

Titanic: Ice bucket challenge 1912 54

Happy Time Harry's 52

Wolf Strangling sumo bitch killers 51

Sorry, that's just my face 37

Paul Dirac 28

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


Twitter
Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

BREAKING NEWS: Quizzers at Piper Down are hysterically horrible people. Chaos reigns supreme throughout the country lately. Even though I ignore TV, newspapers (yes, even the websites, they're still the damn paper), and pretty much every media outlet, I'm catching just enough to see that sh!t's got real in Missouri.

I get all my news from John Oliver, The Onion, and Spin Magazine. Usually The Daily Show, but I've not watched for several weeks. The rest is second-hand through Twitter. And it just keeps coming. Like our Recent In Stuff round showed us, the world is falling apart.

If it's not the world events pissing people off, apparently posting videos of dumping ice water on yourself has become a bigger social media sin than hashtagging and instagramming your lunch. Let's be clear here, there is nothing worse than non-ironically using a hashtag and non-ironically instagramming your meal. Unless your sandwich is full of spiders, we don't want to see it.

I'm one of the first skeptics who is bothered by anything spreading through the social media world just for the sake of everyone wanting to show how in touch they are with society. (I'm not going to use the fucking “v” word, because that shouldn't be in our vocabulary.) But the ALS thing has at least got people to pay attention and it resulted in the spectacular video from Dave Grohl.

Dave = God. I'd go to that church.

Congrats to Fuck you, Wes! for their big win. Though they should be slightly ashamed for knowing both Grateful Dead and Phish. Fucking hippies. Woman mercifully spared from drinking Dickie's sweet tea finished second, and also has the sense to not eat at Dickie's. Poison tea notwithstanding, that place sounds like a complete shithole. Also, a big round of applause for If Celebrity Deaths Come in Threes, the Universe Owes Us a Kardashian last week for being the top of the power rankings. We were #2 in overall venues across the GWD universe!

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
11:02 PM, August 17, 2014
Scores
I still live with my mom 89

Great Clips back to school circumsitions 88

Cadet Down 83

Vagina â?? the original man cave 82

3 bitches, no problems 81

Mormon Tabernacle Swingers Club 80

Pooping back and forth forever 80

Robin Williams â?? 1 week sober 80

Premature Emasculation 79

Difficult, difficult, lemon, difficult 77

Whimsical cock blockers 77

Bogie and Bacall suck at pub quiz 77

Warm Holes 76

Monty Python and the Holy Quail 74

Abstinence makes the heart grow fondler 73

The Full Mortimer 72

Crazy Cuckoos 70

Scandanavian Dolphins 70

The Zesty Zwei 68

Doctor Nick: Thymelord


Twitter
Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm.
Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

It's been done before, and I wouldn't recommend doing this over and over again, as it takes the right elements to make it work, but I have to hand it to Robin Williams – 1 wee sober for managing to bring the room to complete attention with their team name. There were laughs, there was disgust, there were some who had to think about that for a few seconds too long... Timing is really everything.

I know, it's hit many of us emotionally, but remember that Mr. Williams tried so hard to make us laugh, and if he was playing the quiz tonight, that would have been his team name.

A tremendously close night, with Prince actually ensuring a tie-breaker was not needed to put I still live with my mom in the winning place. Great Clips back to school circumcisions was a close second, with a whole trail of competition near them.

Prince. Love him. Don't love him. You've got to admire a guy who has more aliases than the average pop star has legitimate hits. He gave us music. He gave us Purple Rain. He's probably given some people diseases. He is a god in the world of pop culture.

You may be thinking up your team names now for when Prince is found dead. The joke's on you, he is immortal.

Hugs and kisses, see you next time!

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