I guess they called the fourth Jason movie “The Final Chapter,” (there are twelve of them) so at the end of the day it doesn't mean shit, but isn't that what “trivia” is all about? Information that is functionally useless until you get to demonstrate your knowledge of it at your local pub quiz and propel your self and your friends to the top of the geeky mountain? I think so.

The Breakdown:

The Boner Dynasty '03 was not lacking in confidence, personnel or knowledge of opera. They were simply bested. The Cuntree Blumpkins knew it was going to be the last time, and played like it, acing fully half the rounds of the quiz. Nancy Wilson made a good run, occupying the three spot for much of the quiz, but in the end fell to fourth behind an impressive two-man effort from It's This Big.

The Comic Relief:

It came tonight from #yoloswag and Awesome Opossum, who wrote me loving little notes on the back of their answer sheets like the one pictured at left. Also from the Cuntree Blumpkins, who thought the third song of R2 was called “Eat a dik, Alex.”

The Everything Else:

I thought the biggest tragedy of the day was going to be the death of the Monday night Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz @ Regina Pizzeria, Allston. Someone decided to one-up it. After processing what happened today I found myself reminded of how young the human race really is. I know I'm in the minority in thinking this, but I still think it: one day in the future, violence will be a thing of the past. Keep hoping.

See ya around the block.

Yes, you heard it right. You've just experienced the penultimate Geeks Who Drink pub quiz at Regina Pizzeria. Now you can tell your grandkids (if god gets lazy and lets you live that long) that You Were There When. Oh, man, yall better be ready next week. It's the last one. That's what penultimate means.

By the way, you should go to Regina next thursday, three days after the last quiz. I think that “Stump Trivia” joker's been using my audio gear, so when he shows up and finds out it's not there, it could potentially turn into an entertaining fish-out-of-water situation.

The Breakdown:

Not a lot to break down tonight. Rat's Redemption had it LOCKED THE FUCK DOWN from round 1. They were one of four teams to ace that round, and they were the only ones to ace R2 (that never happens)—all the way down to spelling “sk8er boi” perfectly to get the bonus point. After that, predictable. A 34-point round is not easy to overcome. Beaver Cleavage took second comfortably, and Queef Latina (easily one of the best team names I've ever heard, next to Fist to the Wrist and Give it a Twist) used the R8 joker springboard to snatch third from The Three Billy Goats who Like it Gruff.

The Comic Relief:

From Obama Pitcher, Margaret Catcher: Who's that judge? I don't know. Let's write “YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE ANSWER!” Points for quoting one of my favorite movies. Favorite like top 20, I mean.

From Boscatonian: What's that medical journal, named after a double-bladed surgical tool, that starts with LA-? “La Scalpel.”

From Billy Goats: Who's that judge? I don't know. “Kermit the Mothafuckin' Frog.”

Also from Billy Goats: In the “Hot Carl” round, who won an oscar for Streetcar Named Desire? “Carlon Brando.”

You guys are clowns. I'll miss you.

The Geekout:

Obama has laid out an initiative called BRAIN, or Brain Research through Advancing Innovative Neurotechnologies. It's a road map to reverse-engineer the most complex known thing in the universe, the human brain. This is an important one. Learning how the brain works is the key to making it to the ridiculous utopian future we're all afraid to consider.

The Everything Else:

Come out next week. Last chance.

True story. Does it matter what question it was?  Not really, but it if you have to know, it was the 50 Shades of Grey question. There's no sense there. I mean, I haven't read the book, but blue ocean whale???  If that makes sense within the context of the book, then I am only more sure I'll never read it.

The Breakdown:

The Boner Champs did it again! Comfortably! Are you guys gonna let them just show up and wreck shop all day long? Are you gonna stand for this??? One more week will net them a threepeat, then they'll have to change their name to Boner Dynasty '03. See You Next Monday made a great creeper run, saving the joker for R8, but the best they could do was to tie Jet Has No Faith for second place. Jet destroyed the tiebreak, nailing the population of Asia to within 60 million Asians (44M Europeans, 5 Americans).

The Comic Relief:

I love when you guys show me how funny you are. During the quiz I set aside the funniest answer sheets for blogging reference. And to put on the fridge in my house. Today the stack of funny answer sheets is almost as high as the stack of regular answer sheets. I'm so proud of my funny little quizzers.  I won't be able to share everything, as I've got better things to do with my time and want to keep it all to myself and my fridge, but here are some of the good ones:

Let's all laugh at The May-Nahs for a minute, in order to discourage this type of behavior: is the last book in the New Testament “revelation” or “revelations?” We'd better guess Revelation(s).

What's the name of the $99 Android console coming out in June? It's the Droid Box Google Machine. Thanks, Boner Champs '03.

The winner of the best answer tonight goes to a question. R1Q8 to be precise, the “50 shades” question. What does mommy-porn call the Grey guy? I think every team provided me with a different answer on this one, including “daddy,” “big papa,” “big sexy,” “dumb dumb gum gum,” and (my personal favorite) “blue ocean whale.” I can't even begin.

The Geekout:

So “most Americans” agree it's a bad idea to use drones. (At least, domestically... let's remember who the bad guy is, right, America?) Now, I'm not saying we should straight up design terminators. But our fears are misplaced. The robots are not out to get us. As a matter of (this weiro's) opinion, AI is the only thing that can save us from ourselves. Let's just become cyborgs and get it over with, shall we?

The Everything Else:

Flush the coke, the british are coming.

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Darcy's Bistro & Pub - Denver 8:30 PM
• Prickly Pete's - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Whiskey Bar - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Cheeky Monk - Westminster 9:00 PM
• The Ram (Meridian) - Meridian 9:00 PM
• Lisa's Restaurant & Lounge - Augusta 7:30 PM
• Opal Divine's (Marina) - Austin 10:00 PM
• Opal Divine's (Penn Field) - Austin 10:00 PM