So Wikipedia offers two possible pronunciations of the word "tapir" - TAY-per and tuh-PEER. I don't know which is more proper, and last night while reading the scores I kind of went for a cross between the two that probably made me sound like an ignorant douche. I suppose I could have asked The Mystery of the Tapir themselves how they'd like it to be pronounced. Wikipedia also lists the tapir as a "browsing mammal." It has something to do with their herbivorous eating habits, but I prefer to think of a very spending-conscious tapir couple wandering cautiously through a car dealership, haughtily shaking off the pushy salespeople whenever they're approached. And just in case you're in need of a little pick-me-up this afternoon, here's this.

The bonus questions turned out to be a bunch of doozies last night. Y'all Drag Bar kids sure know your sports (every team turned in their Round Three answers for double points), but you don't know shit about Milton Bradley. I learned something from our bonuses last night, too - Memphis, where the words on the Rosetta Stone were written, is not only a shithole in Tennessee but was also the ancient capital of Aneb-Hetch, the first nome of Lower Egypt. Yeah. Run and tell that, homeboy.

The best thing about this week's quiz was that Round Six gave me an excuse to play a lostprophets song. That's not an opportunity that comes up very often, so when it does, I'm always happy to see some air-drumming enthusiasm from the regulars. I'm glad y'all are all as stoked to relive your high school years as I am. Next week it will be Powerman5000.

Check the Facebook. I'm out!

It's that time of year again. The campus-dwellers have all gone home to the folks' in DFW or else are living in Hyde Park on their parents' dime, swimming daily through piles of dirty clothes and weed shake and wondering which pseudo-friend from the graduation party could possibly have shown enough interest in their copy of Dune to actually take it out of the Blu-ray player, match it to its proper case on the shelf and make off with it. Regardless, they're no longer on campus, which means the Drag Bar is in the midst of taking on its annual air of sophistication. There are fewer correct answers coming in on Lady Gaga and way more coming in on "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown." And here I always thought Portugal. The Man had made that one up themselves.

Every time I come into this place, bartender/hairstyle Giovanni has a new tattoo. This week, in fact, he had two. It's like a hot dog-eating contest around here, only with more pain and bleeding and fewer weird poops the next day. Plus I can't afford to keep up with him, which means y'all are doing exactly as I've asked and tipping him generously. The karma police are no doubt smiling upon you. I'm also jealous of the fact that Gio's highly Italian skin shows off white ink like mine never will. At least now my husband almost has his haircut.

The competition was heated at tonight's quiz. Although the scores didn't come out as close to each other as the second- and third-place teams might have hoped, on certain rounds the knowledge was so well-matched I was expecting some kind of matter-meets-matter black hole situation to down over the bar stairs. Still haven't fallen down those things, which is an accomplishment I hope to continue to achieve at least into my twenty-seventh year. At that point I'll be willing to live with a little senility.

See y'all next week! Don't forget to get in on the Game of Thrones theme quiz if you're into that sort of thing.

Tonight I was a Geek Who Ate as I've been taking the week off from drinking after a very fun past couple of weeks. So I ordered two pizzas instead. Whatevs. While Kavi was off slaying creepy Asian vampires in Malaysia using the powers of her mind, I had the better end of the deal and got to spend time with all of you! I really love the laid-back vibe at the Drag Bar. It's as comfortable as my gym socks.

Tonight we had questions about Hitler's sign (Taurus, in case you're wondering), kids' educational television, semi-naked and full-frontal Kate Winslet (can you believe the British think she's fat?), and made-up things, like Heaven.

Last I heard, Kavi was zeroing in on the nest of the mother blood sucker, wading through swathes of newly re-dead Cathayan corpses and, with her brains, moxie, and frightening, Carrie-strength psychic powers, I imagine she'll be back in Austin in time for next week's quiz. Make sure you thank her for saving humanity -- AGAIN -- when you see her.

Until then, stay safe, happy and drunk!