OK, so I'll clear the air from the start.  There was no Brad this week.  But we had the return of Deena and friends (now big enough for two full teams), some new players, and a Sarah Frances sighting.  Akin's Rape Babies - the team all the other quizzers wasn't carried to full term - got some redemption after losing the tiebreaker last week (SPOILER ALERT ON WHO WON Y'ALL) and Akin for a Rapin' came in second, which was a strong showing after their win during our inaugural quiz.  We laughed, we cried, and we learned a little something about Republican Vice Presidents... and maybe a little something about ourselves.

A brief review on tonight's quiz content - for the first time in almost a month, we didn't have a round about the male penis.  Instead, we did have a round about the female penis (known in some scientific circles as a "vagina"), and half of a round on boobs.  And Dickens.  And dinosaurs.  And windows.  Yeah, it was a weird night.  Let's get to some awards.

Favorite Team Name of the Week - The West End Pub Refugees, so I can give a shout out to the team that migrated north this week, although I don't know if they exactly realize how true their name is.  Don't you realize that once you leave the West End Pub, you can't go back?  JWarr is like a mama bird.  You have my stink all over you now; he won't take you back.

Runner-Up Favorite Team Name of the Week – Akin for a Rapin' because I had to at least acknowledge the dearth of Todd Akin-themed names.  Just remember that rape isn't ever funny, unless it's a situation where someone gets raped after their rapist slips on a banana peel (what can I say, I'm a sucker for slapstick).

Favorite Wrong Answer of the Night - "Phoebe Cates" as the actress who went topless, only because I WISH SHE WAS THE CORRECT ANSWER.  Back in the 80s, that chick was nails.  Actually, she probably still is.  Has anyone seen her since the 80s?  If you have, please call 1-866-QUIZMASTER.

Least Favorite Wrong Answer of the Night - "A Tale of Two Cities" as the performer from the 80s who got his stage name from one of Dickens' works.  I don't remember him exactly.  Was he a wrestler for the WWE?

In the end, it was a battle between our two Todd Akin-themed teams (see to the left), and Akin's Rape Babies took the crown in the end, after they crowned.  (GET IT?!)  It wasn’t really even close.  They had it locked up by round six.  Congratulations guys!  You’re the king of all nerds!

Here’s the most important shit you’ll read all day:

• Yes!  We are back next week.  There is a Cowboys preseason game on against (probably, I'm too lazy to look it up) the godawful Miami Dolphins, so of course we'll run quiz, because who the hell cares about the preseason?  Or the Miami Dolphins?  (Except for Ace Ventura.)
• Follow us on "the Twitter" as my mom calls it. We have a few handles, but the ones you need to know about are @GeeksWhoDrink for news and round teasers, and @GWDScheduleBot in case we need to cancel on you because I'm still in jail for the DWI I'm about to get.  J/K mom!  (She probably reads this.)
• Sign up for our email list.  If you don't have an email address, give us your mailing address and promptly kiss our ass, grampa!
• We're on Facebook too, so like our page, you Neanderthal!
• Just a few weeks away is our next themed quiz on September 10 - The Geeky Cauldron.  It's a little different from our normal quiz, since you pay to play and the winning team gets the whole enchilada (by that I mean the jackpot, not an actual enchilada, because that would be mostly lame).  The subject matter at hand is the world of Harry Potter, and if the name of the quiz didn't tip you off to that, you should probably not even bother showing up.  Cast a spell here for more info!
• Leave a comment below and don't reference the question that I completely botched. Thanks, mgmt.

 Kiss my ass!  We'll see you next week for more abuse.

It was a typical Wednesday night at St. John's.  We had quiz at 8 PM, we had our normal audio issues, and we had PJ fixing it (enough, anyway) to get us through all 8 rounds.

And then Brad happened.

Brad showed up and entertained us all with his witticisms and wrong answers.  Actually, he had a lot of right answers too.  He kicked your asses in a few rounds, but that's probably due to the fact that he made fast friends with anyone who showed up to the bar and asked them to be on his team.  This may sound like I'm ridiculing him, but I'm not, because that strategy is a smart one, and I would never ridicule Brad, because he has a chest tattoo and likes to fuck shit up old school.

To that end, I'd like to thank Brad for being our unofficial pub quiz mascot, chest tattoo and all.  (Next week's tiebreaker involves a 5-second glance at Brad's chest tattoo and you must draw it from memory - closest depiction wins.)

Let's get to some awards so I can wrap this up and try to get my mic to work.

Favorite Team Name of the Week - Paul Ryan Gosling, because I love Before-And-Afters, and because I too love tax breaks for the wealthy at the expense of my feeble grandmother.

Runner-Up Favorite Team Name of the Week – 40 Shades of Brown: The Story of My Butthole Tattoo, because of this youtube video.  In case you're wondering, Sara Fisher doesn't exactly have a b-hole tat, but she does have an L tattooed on her right cheek and another L on her left one.  Somehow, it's supposed to spell LOL.  ...WAIT!  I just got that.

Favorite Wrong Answer of the Night - "My mom" as the African scavenger with the... you know what, let's keep going to the next award.

Least Favorite Wrong Answer of the Night - Mixed Martial Arts as the brand of Mixed Martial Arts that now airs on Fuel TV.  Because it was in the question.  But the team that provided that answer won it all, so they're laughing all the way to the bank.  (I know, they probably just misunderstood the question, but I repeated it twice and there's five of them so I'm allowed to give them a hard time about it.)

In the end, we had a two-way tie for first between two Paul Ryan-themed team names, but Paul Ryan Wants to Kill Your Grandma finally broke through (after three weeks of attending quiz) and won the grand prize after getting 3 of 5 questions right in our tiebreaker round.  You may have won it all, but someone on your team knows who Cole Porter is, which probably means he cries himself to sleep at night.  Probably.

Here's the rest of the crap I'm contractually obligated to say:

• We are back next week, so start assembling your teams… now.
• Follow us on twitter - @GeeksWhoDrink for news and round teasers, and @GWDScheduleBot in case I cancel on you after getting the Green Flu, forever turning me into the undead (round six reference LOL)
• We're on Facebook too, so like our page!
• Clear your calendar for our next themed quiz night on September 10 - The Geeky Cauldron - so be sure and check out the details on our website.  It’s a pay-to-play quiz focused entirely around the world of Harry Potter, so unless you’re a muggle, click here for more info!
• Sign up for our email list so you can win a cool prize like Team Butthole  (I'm too lazy to type out your whole name) and get you some underwear band-aids at the end of round six!
• Leave a comment below and let us know how Brad changed your life.

See you next week!

*HOUSE OF PAIN LYRIC REFERENCE ALERT*

(hint: it's in the title)

One day, I'll title this blog "I'm Drunk and I Love All of You", but today is not that day.  However, tonight might be appropriate for that, because I am slightly inebriated thanks to PJ, the bartender who kept the Guinness flowing like wine, and I love all of you because MANY of you contributed to a great cause - fighting Alzheimer's.

Tonight we were loaded with many teams supporting Blondes vs. Brunettes, a charity powderpuff football game this weekend that's already raised over $300,000 towards Alzheimer's research.  Some of that money was raised tonight, and I raise a glass to any of you who forked over the cash.  We did have a team that got their money back - and then some - but more on them later.

*AWARD ALERT*

Favorite Team Name of the Week - A few good ones, but I'll go with the crowd on this one.  Randy Travis' Dirty Ditch got some raucous applause for referencing the most bizarre news item of the past week.  I guess it really wasn't much more than a reference, but everyone got it, and liked it, so that's all that matters, right?

Runner-Up Favorite Team Name of the Week - I Don't Always Watch Gymnastics, But When I Do, I Feel Like a Pedophile, because everyone laughed, and then silently nodded in agreement.  It's funny 'cause it's true!

Favorite Wrong Answer of the Night - "Ass, ass, ass!" as Mrs. Broflovski's catch-phrase on South Park

Least Favorite Wrong Answer of the Night - Fantastic Four - Rise of the Silver Surfer as one of our Members Only movies.  Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I thought it was a foregone conclusion that Marvel movies, as a rule, don't show any peen.

We had some really strong teams this week, as our scores to the left show.  For most of the evening East Nile Five held first place down, but I warned all of you that someone might kill it in round 8 and joker it, and THAT EXACT THING HAPPENED.  Congrats to Tietzkruscher & Co. for using the joker as strategically as possible and leapfrogging the competition for a first place win.  We will see you next week!  That's not a suggestion, by the way.  WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

*ATTACK OF THE BULLET POINTS*

• We are back next week, same time (8 PM), so clear your calendars now.
• Follow us on the Twitter machine, @GeeksWhoDrink for news and round teasers, and @GWDScheduleBot in case I cancel on you at the last minute, which I never would, because I love you too much and have no social life that would possibly conflict
• We're on Facebook too, so like our page!
• I found out after the quiz that my fly was open the entire time, but I promise that I wasn't exposing any peen, and even if I was, it would be covered by a Chiquita banana sticker.
• Wingardium leviosa!  We have a supremely bad-ass themed quiz night on September 10 - The Geeky Cauldron - so be sure and check out the details on our website.  Click any of the banner ads on it, you ape!
• Sign up for our email list so you can win a cool prize at the end of round six!
• Leave a comment below and let me know how I'm doing, but please don't say that I neglected to mention that we had three rounds worth 16 points instead of the normal two, that's a fireable offense.

Later, you loveable losers!

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