So my Jewish grandma stopped by last night and read a round. Now some of you commented that she sounds like a castrated Adam Sandler impersonator.

That's fair.

She has had a rough life. What with being made up and all. One of the things you might have missed was her recipe for fruit salad.

4 apples marinated in garlic butter.

4 peaches covered in fennel seed.

1 tomato

1 cantaloup

Add coarse black pepper to taste.

Yum, just like when I was a little boy.

Great job on the quiz everyone.

It was a pretty tough one but hey, that's how we roll.

Post Coital Cigarette was second place.

Retardo Montalbum was the dominating winner.

This has been pub quiz.

Hey, it's Bryan.

As you know, I host Geeks Who Drink pub quiz every Thursday at the Chesterfield in wonderful downtown Kansas City. I have done that for close to a year and I have enjoyed every minute of it. We have a great staff, stiff drinks, and kick-ass team. All of whom I love dearly.

But listen.

You went too far last night.

Continually asking or in some cases demanding, to fuck my mom.

Common that's bad taste and answers sheets are not a forum for your MILFing habits.

Answers like.

I wanna fuck your mom.

Your mom sucks...for money.

Here's a shocker, for your mom.

Your mom can really work a stick shift.

Your mom gives good head.

It's my turn with your mom.

Your mom was adequately lubricated.

I'm here for two things, wings and your mom. Turns out they don't serve wings here though.

This is just bad taste.

I mean it's my mom and you guys just want to talk about having sex with her. Rude.

That's not what really bothers me.

What really hurts my feelings?

YOU DO EVEN MEAN IT.

You don't really want to fuck my mom. You just think it's funny.

You say you want her to give you head. But you really don't.

And why not? She's a handsome lady.

Some would call her luxury hot.

Not me, but some would.

I don't know whether she would want fuck any of you or not.

We don't really talk about that kind of stuff.

Plus she is pretty big into the bible thumping so you would probably have to marry her to get into her pants. That also cancels out any chance the women thought they might have.

Again, I don't know. This isn't a topic that has ever come up at Thanksgiving dinner.

Normally we just talk about different things going on in our lives. Then someone says something condescending and somebodies feeling get hurt. Then they stab the other person. Blah Blah Blah.

Actually.

Now that I think about it, at the Easter Parade, she did mention how much she enjoyed anal.

Walking Dudes had first place and The Charles Ramsey's took 2^nd

This has been pub quiz.

That is just a general rule I have since my traumatizing experience in Jolly Old England and having blood pudding or blood sausage as it is also known.  So my general affinity for Blood Oranges, Blood Limes, Blood Diamonds and Blood is low, even if I somehow became a vampire.  Now that I have established that rule for everyone about myself we can move on with the post.

So I am not Bryan Hobby, even though in some way I could be him.  I mean who doesn’t want to be Quizmaster of the Year?  If that Face/Off procedure thing worked, I could become him if needed.  Instead I will just sub for him and make appearances on his behalf because I have nothing better to do than run a pub quiz for a night.  Last night at the Chesterfield, try the French Ward drink, I took over the place because people like me there and I was asked to.  No biggie folks, Nick’s got this shit on lockdown.  There was a lot going on there this evening, what with Mother Nature being a bitch, The Alamo Drafthouse hosting a film festival (which is kickass by the way) and some sort of super villain meet-up in the form of an inventors showing.  The man who made the mechanical and moving tail should have been here when we showed the My Little Pony documentary about Bronies (search that shit) cause he would have made himself a millionaire ten times over because of the tail alone.  Also they were 3-D printing stuff, but couldn’t print a hamburger…yet.

Oh yes and we had our usual Thursday night quiz.  Which saw some newbies and veterans and even other quizmasters vying for a rightful place inside the hallowed walls of The Chesterfield.  Very nice time with lovely, sarcastic folks who cozied up next to me, well one dude did.  I can't help it if I am attractive, that's just the cross I have to carry folks.  It's not easy for us quizmasters and our machismo and excellent pronunciation of sentences and smart ass ways.  Chicks and dudes, in this case it was a guy, love the bad boys.  Quizmasters are badboys...for life....ride or die...shit just got real...Michael Bay...*explosions*

So some highlights:

• of course there would be one team out there that didn't put "of" in their answers and then are all guffaw when they didn't get their points.  YOU ARE SCIENTISTS!  Build a robot to answer your questions, I know I would. 
• There needs to be a separation between church and music.  I don't need to see Jesus or God in my musical rounds..except for Godzilla.  WORSHIP HIM!
• I misread "chess" as "cheese"...I guess I was hungry in the food round.
• I don't like sports, so there's that.
• I am going to make a medival movie called "there be Draggins" which all the characters are dressed in drag.  I am progressive like that
• If the movie, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World of Warcraft, I bet Michael Cera would be a Mage cause they clothes that most resemble a hoodie.  That kid, I swear he only takes roles where he can wear hoodie cause that's the only type of character he can play.
• Movies that are released in Jan, Feb, Mar, and April really do suck...except for Evil Dead, that shit was dope.
• We all sang along to Zombie by the Cranberries.  I bet they only drink cranberry flavored drinks.

Winners:

1st place goes to Two Dude with an Attitude.  I suspect they had an edge cause one of the guys is trying out for Jeopardy!  Tell Trebeck his mustache sucks.

2nd place goes to the team that consisted of KC quizmasters, BM in the PM on my QM.  That's how we roll folks, BM's. 

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