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Willie's Lounge
1716 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
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12:02 PM, May 16, 2013
Scores
SPECIAL SAUCE 75
WILLIE GODS OF AWESOMENESS TO THE MAX AND EXTREME OF THE WORLD 73
THE OTHER GUYS 67
SKINNY DONT STUTTER 66
Consummate professional
Boba Fatt


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Quiz Schedule
The Devil's Daughter- Mondays @ 8pm Willies- Wednesdays @ 7:30pm 		Jesse Brake (Boba Fatt)

I'm a former body piercer and radio personality from South Carolina. Growing up in the Deep South, I learned early on that everyone was a piece of shit and the only things deserving of my love were basset hounds and terrible music.

I moved to Utah in 2005 and became an AFTDA certified roller derby announcer, as well as "King of Blog Shit Mountain" for Geeks Who Drink.

I have no idea what exactly happened yesterday.

 

I've woken up in a fairly nice house. I apparently slept in this big ass comfy chair that's the color of aged beige. My computer is still and and so is my iPhone, so all immediate panic that washed over me is subsiding. That might actually be my consciousness as I type with my eyes closed for a brief moment.

 

I'm still drunk it would seem, based on the taste of citrus in my mouth and my head pounding like James Deen and Stoya FUCK YOU WINDOWS UPDATING I'M WRITING A BLOG HERE

 

OK, so the first person I see in this house is a regular quizzer. That's good; also a man, so not as good as it could have been. God the cars are so loud outside, are we near a...yes, this house is on the street. In fact, the bar is next door. No seriously, I somehow hit the jackpot for places to crash after getting blitzed.

 

I better take a quick selfie and make sure there isn't marker or semen on me.

 

OK, I look like obese death, but at least there's not semen on me. I'll chalk this up as a 'draw' in the life category.

 

After conversing with Ross, said quizzer who put me up (and also did not come on me, thanks buddy), I apparently had an obscene amount of shots of a citrus vodka that was going for $1 last night to get rid of the last few bottles. I was quoted a number that my wallet disagrees with but my head confirms: 40.

 

I remember quiz. I also remember chair dancing to Macklemore and by round eight acting like I was the lead singer of The Hives, but less Swedish. Thankfully the wall was there to catch my fall during the final answers. I see I took pictures and the scores were tallied correctly, so bully for me.

 

I honestly need to sleep a little longer. I'll be back in a little bit Mr. Blog.

***

It's three hours later. My head is less Pound Puppy Mills and more an annoying scratch across my brain caused by the citrus vodka. It's like Earl of Lemongrass occasionally screams in my head.

 

I've walked back to the bar. Everyone's all “Bloody Mary!” but I can only imagine tragedy at this point if I drank tomato juice and alcohol. I'll just have a cranberry juice for now.

 

OK, drank it and that was a bad choice. I'm about to recreate one of Will Sasso's Vine videos.

 

At least the texts from last night are amazing. That drunken Myspace angle shot is a sure sign that I'm fine. Good thing I didn't send this one I found this morning. I'm going to go ahead and get ready for my private event in four hours. Speaking of four hours, GODDAMMIT WINDOWS UPDATE GO AWAY.

 

I decided to thank Ross for letting me crash on his chair by leaving him a note expressing my gratitude.

 

 

So, here I am back at the bar uploading the blog, having come full circle.

Congratulations to Special Sauce for first place last night, and to Skyy Infusions for making me swear off citrus for the foreseeable future. See you at 7:30pm next week!

Willie's Lounge
1716 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
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Comment Now
1:03 PM, May 09, 2013
Scores
SKINNY DON'T STUTTER 66
THE MIGHTY MITOCHONDRIA 62
THE ANGIES 61
NATURAL SELECTION 52
WILLIE DOGS 52
Quiz is serious business.
Boba Fatt


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Web

Quiz Schedule
The Devil's Daughter- Mondays @ 8pm Willies- Wednesdays @ 7:30pm 		Jesse Brake (Boba Fatt)

I'm a former body piercer and radio personality from South Carolina. Growing up in the Deep South, I learned early on that everyone was a piece of shit and the only things deserving of my love were basset hounds and terrible music.

I moved to Utah in 2005 and became an AFTDA certified roller derby announcer, as well as "King of Blog Shit Mountain" for Geeks Who Drink.

Rule #5: No iPhones, no iPads, no Droids or other extra cranial devices. If I see them, I'm going to assume you are cheating and give you a zero for the round.

 

So when you use the jukebox to look up a song, that's utilizing something outside your skull. This isn't Neal Peart's drum set, it's Meg White's.

 

Beyond that, we also had a slight disagreement about whether or not I should have accepted USSR for Russia in last night's round four. Well, one of the administrative divisions was the Republic of

Chechnya was a hint and I promise you there were no republic's during the reign of the USSR.

 

However, if you ever have a dispute about a question, feel free to submit your error here.

 

Beyond that, congratulations to Skinny Don't Stutter for first place. See you next week!

 

Willie's Lounge
1716 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
4:17 PM, May 02, 2013
Scores
SPECIAL SAUCE 71
SKINNY DON'T STUTTER 71
THE ONE AND ONLY BILLY SHEERS 64
LAUREN'S BIRTHDAY 63
QUIZ IN MY PANTS 49
J.B. 4
Rectum? Damn near killed her.
Boba Fatt


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
The Devil's Daughter- Mondays @ 8pm Willies- Wednesdays @ 7:30pm 		Jesse Brake (Boba Fatt)

I'm a former body piercer and radio personality from South Carolina. Growing up in the Deep South, I learned early on that everyone was a piece of shit and the only things deserving of my love were basset hounds and terrible music.

I moved to Utah in 2005 and became an AFTDA certified roller derby announcer, as well as "King of Blog Shit Mountain" for Geeks Who Drink.

In honor of Anna, who I embarrased last night with the anal sex round, here's ten tracks about buttsex.

 

***

 

10) Festering Anal Vomit- Lust of Decay

Lust of Decay is probably my favorite slam metal band of all time, even if I didn't enjoy every conversation I've had with Joe Payne (ex Nile, Divine Heresy), who was the bassist during this album. The vocals are a great combination of guttural, growls, and slick rawrs that have never been matched.

9)  Fast Lane- Bad Meets Evil ft. Eminem, Royce Da 5'9

Eminem makes an appearance on this track and gives a shout out to Nicki Minaj and her butthole.

8) Backdoor Lover- DuJour

Yep, that's Turkleton AKA Donald Faison from Scrubs. No word on whether or not J.D. and him took their Guy Love to the next level with this tune.

7) Sparks Will Fly- The Rolling Stones

Just listen to the intro.

6) What What (In The Butt)- Samwell

Moving on...

5) Relax- Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Well, it may not have been intended to be about anal, but I find it funny to associate this song with it.

4) Do You Want To- Franz Ferdinand

In case you were wondering, he's asking if you want to have sex in your butt.

3) Fuck Me for Free- Akinyele

Oh Akinyele, who would have thought the man who did Put It In Your Mouth, which was a very artistic and subtle reference to oral sex, would have made one about casual anal sex.

2) Back Door Man- The Doors

thatsthejoke.jpg

1) The Loophole- Garfunkle and Oats

This song is hilarious, and legendary when applied to our Utah demographic. This song reads like a thesis written by a BYU student who audited a class on butt sex.

***

 

Congratulations to Skinny Don't Stutter, who took first after a close tiebreaker! See you next week!

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