Announcement!

Next week is quiz for a cause. Come on out to support Camp Kesem UCSD! They send the kids of cancer patients to camp for free. It’s five bucks per person on your team. Winner gets five bucks for every team that showed up and the rest goes to charity! Win money and start paying down on your karmic backlog by helping out an awesome charity.

Also, if anyone hasn’t gotten enough of me this week, I’m gonna be playing videogames on the internet for that same charity. Check it at Scare to Care!

I know I’ve said it before, but holy crap there were so many people. If quiz gets much bigger, we’re gonna have to start gluing people to the walls. 

Congratulations to the Newlyweds! Two of them just got married and had been in Hawaii for the last two weeks. I’m pretty sure they knew eachother before quiz, but I’m just gonna pretend that they met and fell in love at quiz. Where was my invite!?!

We also had team Awesome? who were unsure of whether or not they’re awesome. The answer is yes, you guys are awesome. 

The Bear and the Maidens Fair came out and were super stoked about the GOT question. I also learned that it’s national salad month thanks to team Hey Everybody It’s National Salad Month. Aleph Naught Going to Win didn’t win, but when a seventh friend showed up, they made him sit in the corner so they could still be eligible for the prize. I admire that kind of dedication to quiz.

The Lone Stars told me their name was because of Texas, but I’m pretty sure it’s because of Spaceballs. Sword Swallowers were really cool. They did not live up to their name though. Weasels Love Berries decided to yell at me because they thought that one of the answers was wrong; however, they totally publically apologized and told everyone I was right when they checked it up on their phone. That’s a class act!

We also had regulars R U Gonna Eat That? show up. With me the answer is always yes.

It was really tight by the end of the night, but second place went to Winona Gang Bang. First place went to the manliest team to ever grace our humble quiz: Red White and Booze.

Thanks to everyone for showing up! I had a blast! I’ll see you all next week for Quiz For A Cause!

The ancient ways of the quizmaster has survived the ages  by being passed generation to generation. Some trace the origins of the quizmaster to the early 1900’s where it was noted that WWI was sparked over a disagreement between treaty countries over the 6 person rule. Some trace the origins back even further to where Cain purportedly killed Abel because he wouldn’t stop yelling out wrong answers and guffawing like it was the most clever joke ever. 

Tonight I passed on my precious quiz knowledge to our new San Diego quizmaster! JC! He did an awesome job and you’ll be seeing lots of him at Redwing’s. At midnight with the sacrifice of a small animal, the ritual will be complete and a new quizmaster will be born.

A lot of swell people showed up tonight with some delicious names. I was a big fan of I am Beyonce Always, Jackin’ it in San Diego, and Better Late than Pregnant. The Philosoraptors were pretty cool too. Ham Sat Lo taught me that “Ham Sat Lo” means kiss my ass in Chinese. I can’t verify if that’s accurate or not. Super Chillin was alright, but they were kind of smelly and funny looking. 

Qu-qu-qu-quiiiizzzzz:

Our very first round for the night was on recent news! I’m super bummed that Stephen Colbert’s sister lost the house election because I’m pretty sure she’s just secretly Stephen Colbert in a wig. Has anyone ever even seen them together? Probably yeah...Average: 5.8 Top Team(s): Beyonce, Popovich, Chillin, Ham (8)

Your audio round was all about songs that may or may not be trying to tell us something. Katy Perry kissed a girl once and word on the street is that she liked it. Average: 9.6 Top Team(s): Asgard, Chillin (13)

Next we explored some common misconceptions. Remember: you’re right when you say “all intents and purposes”; you sound like a dumbass when you say “all intensive purposes". Average: 6 Top Team(s): Beyonce (8)

mmmm FLILFs. First Ladies I’d Like to Fulfill emotionally. I’m thinking of growing out my bangs because of Michelle Obama. I think I could pull it off. Average: 5.8 Top Team(s): Deaf Blind, Popovich (5.8)

Your picture round was all about celebrity charities. I think everyone knows who champions the Livestrong foundation, but did you know that Tyra Banks heads the T-Zone foundation? Here’s a collection of crazy Tyra Banks gifs. Average: 6.3 Top Team(s): Lotsa Teams (8)

Round 6 was all about Muhammads and Alis. In superbad, before choosing the name McLovin, Fogell considered being named Muhammad. When that movie came out, I was called McLovin for like a year. It was a terrible movie for us awkward white guys with glasses. Chicka chicka yeah boy  Average: 6.3 Top Team(s): Sword Swallowers, Philosoraptors, Chillin (8)

Next our audio round was all about theme songs. Woody Woodpecker Show? Giggle giggle. Average: 4 Top Team(s): Sword Swallowers (7)

Lastly, we finished with random knowledge. I don’t know if you watched the cinematic masterpiece Never Say Never, but it’s all about Justin Bieber being amazing. I’m a Belieber and I hope you are too. Average: 6.8 Top Team(s): Asgard (9)

We had an intense night of competition. People jumped around like crazy in the standings. For awhile it seemed like I Am Beyonce Always had it locked up, but after some strong round 8s they dropped down to 6th! In the end, second place went to Asgard Makes my Ass Thor and first went to the Sword Swallowers! An outcome predicted by someone on Asgard before the night even begun.

Thanks to everyone for coming out! I had a blast and so did JC. Check out our facebook until next time 

What a night! So many dudes and female dudes that people actually had to stand up! What’s up with that? That’s never happened before.

Anyways, we had some swell people come out to play. One team that blue me away was You’re Gonna Get Some Hop-Ons. I’m super stoked for season 4. We also had Jerry Gergich and the Lil’ Sebastians come out. Dammit Jerry! Bee and Vee were super cool. A two-person team that held their own! Yeah!

On to the quiz:

Round one was all about things that began in the year 1983, which, if my maths are right, was thirty years ago. Like many kids growing up in the 90’s, I went through the DARE program to keep me from trying out all those tasty, delicious drugs out there. According to one study, DARE participants were actually more likely to use drugs. The more you know! Average: 5.8 Top Team(s): We are 7, Dirty 30 (8)

I’m a big fan of karaoke and our audio questions were all about the most popular karaoke songs. Fact: the key to awesome karaoke is fantastic dancing. Average: 9.5 Top Team(s): Running Joke, Jerry Girgich, Bee and Vee (12)

My feelings on sports were basically summed up by an amazing episode of the IT crowd that featured this gem. Whenever I go to a friend’s place to watch a big game, I try to research one relevant opinion that I can bust out to look like I know what I’m talking about. I get by. I guess there’s a thing going on with the NBA. Average: 4.4 Top Team(s): You’re Gonna Get Some Hop-Ons (8)

Round 4 was all about fictional places. Valhalla is the most f’ing metal place ever imagined. In the Thor comics, when Odin dies, he goes to Valhalla and fights a dude name Surtur to the death every day. Then they both resurrect and do it again the next day. Brutal. Average: 4.8 Top Team(s): We are 7, Fan Chung, Anita Mandelay (7)

So we can totally be mature about round 5. Maybe not. It was all about movies where Kate Winslet took off her clothes. Yay. Average: 5.8 Top Team(s): We are 7, Anita Mandelay, Bee and Vee (8)

Next we asked did some before & after questions which were super clever. All the answers were mashups of a famous person and a disease. So we got things like Maya Angelou Gehrig’s Disease and Jack Kerouacne. How about Timichangnesia? I guess that’s neither a famous person or a real disease. Average: 3.8 Top Team(s): Anita Mandelay (7)

Round 7 was about kids shows. Oh Wishbone. That dog is always getting up into some crazy shit. Average: 2.8 Top Team(s): Fan Chung, Anita Mandelay, Jerry Girgich (5)

As always, we finished off with random knowledge. Fun fact for all you Speedo afficionados out there. The Speedo was first debuted by Australia in the 1956 olympics. And banana hammock fans everywhere rejoiced. Average: 8.3 Top Team(s): Anita Mandelay (13)

Things got super intense at the end! Thanks to a wicked round 8 teams were jumping all over the place in the standings. We had a tie for fourth place between Jerry Girgich and the lil’ Sebastians and Bee and Vee (that’s way too many “ands” to make sense). There wasn’t any prize for 4th place though so we didn’t do anything to settle that other than a fist fight in the street.

But we totally had a tie for second place and the rules say there has to be a throwdown for that. As suggested by our waitress, we had a vagina synonym showdown between Running Joke and Anita Mandelay (say that one out loud giggle giggle).  It was a hard fought battle, but Anita mandelay came out on top.

Above all that though were our champs: Fan Chung Graham Cracker. Their awesome round performances kept them on the top of the heap. Another team would have gotten the top spot, but they had 7 people (sad face). But they were well aware of the rule as evidenced by their name: We are 7 therefore we can't win.

Thanks to everyone for coming out. See you all next week!

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Darcy's Bistro & Pub - Denver 8:30 PM
• Prickly Pete's - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Whiskey Bar - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Cheeky Monk - Westminster 9:00 PM
• The Ram (Meridian) - Meridian 9:00 PM
• Lisa's Restaurant & Lounge - Augusta 7:30 PM
• Opal Divine's (Marina) - Austin 10:00 PM
• Opal Divine's (Penn Field) - Austin 10:00 PM