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Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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9:16 AM, May 15, 2013


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Scores

The 2nd Greatest Gatsby	84

News Team Assemble!	72

Hot Ham Water	66

Walking For Tacos	64

Low Level Operative	64

Hot Bobby..Dag'um!	63

Going Down Like Your Mom on Prom Night	62

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica	57

Even Though Angelina Jolie Lost Some Treasure Sacks, I'd Still Raid Her Tomb	50

The Vertical Smiles	48

Medium Pace	48

For Just $75/Game, You Can Feed a Tim Tebow

Hoffstradamus

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. After being jettisoned from the New York Jets (see what I did there), Tim Tebow is having quite a hard time finding work. No one in the NFL wants him even as a backup, and his chances of playing again are looking incredibly slim. And now an indoor football team in Nebraska is offering him $75/game to play for them. WOMP WOMP.

I was never on the Tebow bandwagon. Don't get me wrong, he was fun to watch during his college days at Florida, though I loathe the Gators (GO BLUE!!!!). He was - and still is - the antithesis to a prototypical pocket QB, and the pros don't play that kind of ball. For those of you who may not know sports - I'm assuming that's most of you who visit a site called "Geeks Who Drink" - here's a simpler way of putting it: he was good back then and now he sucks harder than Teen Mom Farrah Abraham in her own "sextape."

My fondest memory of Tebow playing football was the 2008 Capital One Bowl. Florida played Michigan (GO BLUE!!!!), and it was a shoot-out. I was one week removed from getting my tonsils taken out, and I was couch-ridden watching the game. The score went back and forth the entire game, and the excitement got me off of the couch and I was jumping and shouting with my team. Ultimately, the Wolverines vanquished the Gators (41-35), and Tebow was sent home with his head down.

The next day, I woke up, and my stomach felt fucking awful. I ran to the bathroom, and proceeded to spew blood into the toilet. Gross, I know. The bathroom looked like a scene from Dexter if he had forgotten to put up his plastic sheets on the walls. I was rushed to the hospital and had to stay overnight on account of losing so much blood. The cause for my affliction? My enthusiasm for Tebow getting his ass kicked ruptured one of the areas that was operated on, and I slowly bled out while I was sleeping.

Totally worth it to see that asshat lose a bowl game.

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Though the movie finished second in the box office this weekend, it inspired The 2nd Greatest Gatsby's name and they muscled the rest of the competition the rest of the night to a first place victory over News Team Assemble! Well played Jokers are STILL the key, folks.

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Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- Greatest Gatsby had the right idea when they answered "David Fucking Bowie" for the question regarding the internet's new viral sensation.

- How in the hell do you mix up White Town's "Your Woman" with Tupac's "California Love," News Team?

- Just because President Taft was a big fat walrus, it doesn't mean he died while in office.

- I liked how Going Down Like Your Mom answered the question about Michelle Obama's pet project - obesity of the children.

- R.I.P. Angelina Jolie's boobs. I will watch Gia and Taking Lives this weekend in memoriam.

- Because there was a Kevin Smith question, I just want to say I hope Clerks 3 is better than the dumpster fire of a movie that Clerks 2 was.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs:

- Even Though Angelina Jolie Lost Some Treasure Sacks, I'd Still Raid Her Tomb (best team name of the night)

- The Vertical Smiles

- Going Down Like Your Mom on Prom Night

- The 2nd Greatest Gatsby

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts

Comment Now

8:32 AM, May 08, 2013


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Scores

Dream Cream	73

We Like Kate Winslet's Left Boob	68

Eigenvictors! Diagonalize and Conquer!	66

South Carolina Special Election Olympics	65

The Never Nudes	65

Walking For Tacos	61

I May Be King in the North, But I'd Go South on You	59

At Least One Good Thing Happened in Cleveland This Year	56

The Canadian Olympic Dance Team	48

News Team Assemble!	48

Iron Man 3 is a Terrible Movie

Hoffstradamus

I told my quizzers that this week's blog would be my little rant on "Iron Man 3". I am going to keep it as general as possible for fear of alienating any readers who don't want the movie spoiled for them. However, I don't understand why anyone would want to see a movie that is the cinematic equivalent of a flaming bag of dogshit. At least there was no Mickey Rourke in this one (and you can read my thoughts about him in my other venue's blog!: http://www.geekswhodrink.com/index.cfm?event=client.page&pageid=777&contentid=22861).

Guy Pearce does his best Val Kilmer impression the entire movie, and it appears as if he watched "The Saint" over and over again before filming to get his character down. There's a plot arc with a little boy that makes no sense. Gwenyth Paltrow was kind of annoying to watch, but the Pepper Potts character has always annoyed me in the "Iron Man" movies. They also tried to juice up the humor levels in this movie, and the jokes are lame. Ben Kingsley is good, though. So there's that.

When the movie reached its thrilling conclusion, I just wanted to yell out "BOOOOOOOOO!" The CGI and fight scenes are kind of neat to watch, but there's nothing in the final moments that make me feel any sympathy or excitement toward the characters. AND THEN there are ten minutes of credits to sit through before you get to the now-obligatory Marvel teaser scene afterwards. Not only is the bonus scene dogshit and does nothing to get the audience salivating for the upcoming Marvel films, but I also found out a good chunk of the names in the credits ARE MADE UP just to make the credits longer. Marvel KNOWS we are sitting there waiting for the after-credits scene, and they just decide "Fuck you, Audience" and make the credits longer. Eat turds, asshats.

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If tonight's quiz was named after a Lord of the Rings book, it'd be Return of the King. After taking a quiz sabbatical the last few weeks, Dream Cream graced us with their presence and held down the lead for the entire night. However, We Like Kate Winslet's Left Boob did their damnedest to usurp the throne and finished with second-place honors. Well done, everyone.

I will also mention that we have had some great participation in making the team names as creative as possible. My favorite team name of the week - At Least Something Good Happened in Cleveland This Year. That deserves a muthafuckin' slow clap.

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Interesting Notes From the Quiz!:

- The Never Nudes believed the place where Dumbledore's Army met is called "The Magical Glory Hole". That brings a whole (hole) new meaning to the Elder Wand. Ew.

- King in the North did their best in answering one of the Before and After round clues, and I have to give them props for their effort, even if entirely incorrect. The answer we were looking for was "Idi Aminfluenza" but you thought "Fluorrest Whitaker" would work. Damn close.

- When you bleep out Wishbone's name in the theme song, I'm going to fill that bleep with curse words.

- We finally had a sports round on a Tuesday night. Hurrah.

- To those teams who didn't get all of the possible point on the visual round, I get it - you guys were afraid to drop your encyclopedic knowledge of Kate Winslet nude scenes down in front of your friends and/or loved ones. Just know your score suffered because of it.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- At Least One Good Thing Happened in Cleveland This Year

- I May Be King in the North, But I'd Go South on You

- We Like Kate Winslet's Left Boob

- South Carolina Special Election Olympics

- The Never Nudes

Follow me on Twitter for musings, jokes, and weekly Geeks Who Drink quiz hints! - @ahoff101

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts

Comment Now

8:02 AM, May 01, 2013


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Scores

Of Ricin Men	91

Newsteam Assemble!	78

Actual Geeks, No Sports	76

Do You Want 2 CDs? 2 CDs Nuts!	76

Brienne of Tarth Turned Jason Collins Gay	74

Bill Brasky's Barroom Brawlers	74

Walking For Tacos	70

I Wish This Microphone Was a Dick	66

Where's a National Tragedy When I Need One	65

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica	55

Murica	55

Dank Dudes With Dabitude	37

Bane's Voice is the Anti-Bane of My Existence

Hoffstradamus

By now everyone has seen (or heard of) The Dark Knight Rises. My roommate thinks it's one of the worst movies ever made, and though there are a metric butt-ton of loopholes and "WTF?" moments in the film (how in the HELL did he get the nuclear bomb that far out of the city in 5 seconds AND get the fuck out of the Bat to survive?), I don't think it's that bad. The action sequences were great, Bale is fun to watch as the Batman (SWEAR TO ME), and Anne Hathaway looks incredible in the Catwoman outfit. Schwing.

The best part of the movie for me, though, is Bane's voice. Not necessarily the character of Bane himself (though Tom Hardy is THE man). Just his voice. It makes everything exponentially better. The sound of it is just…hilarious. The dialogue on paper surely read pretty well, and the verbiage he uses is pretty menacing. However, Bane sounds like someone is trying to take a shit with a paper towel tube over his mouth. The only way Hardy could have made that voice happen is he's actively trying to poop while delivering his dialogue. I'm sure Nolan had to edit out a ton of fart sounds in post-, but it was totally worth it.

If you haven't done so yet, please go to Funny or Die and watch any of the videos featuring Chris Kattan - yes, THAT Chris Kattan - as Bane (there are three of them). It's fine. I'll wait.

See?!?! Bane as a telemarketer. Classic.

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We had a whopping possible point total of 112 points tonight (thanks to four rounds worth 16 possible points), and we had a new point record set at the Natty's venue because of it. Newsteam Assemble! came back to defend last week's victory, but was vanquished to second place after Of Ricin Men used the Joker late in the game to propel themselves to victory and 91 POINTS!!! Well done, everyone.

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Interesting Notes From the Quiz!:

- I still think Matthew McConaughey would smoke half of the herbs shown on Round 5's sheet, no matter the warning given in the round's title.

- Despite what I Wish This Microphone Was a Dick would have me lead you to believe, I did not wish my microphone was a dick.

- Because of Bill Brasky's Barroom Brawlers, I will forever refer to the belly button as the "front anus."

- A few teams misidentified Obadiah Stane from Iron Man as Jebediah or Jedediah. Those just make me think of Iron Man facing off against an Amish villain. The sight of Stark's suit is enough to throw Jebediah into a frenzy of confusion and shock at the technological wonder in front of him.

- The looks and sounds of shock that went across the room when I told everyone West Virginia doesn't have the death penalty was priceless.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- Of Ricin Men

- Brienne of Tarth Turned Jason Collins Gay

- Bill Brasky's Barroom Brawlers

- Where's a National Tragedy When I Need One

- Do You Want 2 CDs? 2 CDs Nuts!

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