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Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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10:22 AM, November 19, 2014
Scores
#TEAMNAME 89

Lasagna For One 76

Are We Having Fun Yet? 74

Applebee's Goon Squad 73

Charles Manson Can Get Married and I Can't 73

Apes in the Control Room 72

Up Your Butt and Around the Corner 72

101 Days of Ebola Abstinence 68

You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning 62

Dream Cream 60

Brontowhoreus 59

O HorIzon 58

Team Rocket 56

5 Plus 55

I Have More Parents Than Friends 52

Waiting for Duffman 52

I Thought This Was Speed-Dating?! 44

Call Me Maybe 21

Hoffstradamus


Twitter
Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at Natty Greene's in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

Ointment is a weird word.

Since September, I’ve had the fortunate opportunity to work somewhere within walking distance from my house. It’s been the perfect opportunity to get a 20ish-minute stroll in before I start the workday, and it certainly helps keep me from using my car to drive a handful of city blocks each morning.

This was all well and fine until the seasons changed.

The last couple of days have been bone-chilling (for NC standards), yet I’ve still opted to hoof it to the office. And what a mistake that was! I’m woefully unprepared clothes-wise, so every chilly breeze cuts through the thin layers I’m wearing, biting at my skin until I can’t feel anything.

So I’ve figured out a few pro-tips to use in case you find yourself having to walk in the arctic freeze settling across this great nation of ours. These tips will keep you warm, and, in some cases, make you look like a badass.

Carry a torch

When was the last time you saw someone carrying a lit torch to light their path? If you said, “Probably the last time I watched an Indiana Jones movie,” I’d be inclined to believe you. But if you start carrying your own torch, you have a heat source right above your head, and something that will guide you home safely if you’re walking around at any time after 4:45P (y’know, when it truly starts getting dark now).

Wear ALL of your clothes

It’s way easier to take layers off than it is to put layers on, especially if you don’t have layers of clothes available to put on. So why not wear all of them? Then you can remove garments until you reach the perfect level of comfort. Genius? I know.

Do it to build character

Remember your grandfather or some other old patriarch of your family telling you how far they had to walk in the snow, just to get to school? Now you have your own opportunity to cherish the things you have while still putting yourself at the whim of weather patterns.

———————————————

Damnnnnnn, #TEAMNAME, you came out swinging, and didn’t let up at all. After perfectly Jokering Round 2, they held down the first place spot all night, and no one could buck them from their position. Lasagna for One did their best to catch up, but finished thirteen points shy landing them in second place. Excelente!

———————————————

Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times - 500 Days of Summer is an enjoyable movie.

- Literally everyone was surprised to hear Thailand was part of the Axis powers.

- Piccolo =/= penny whistle.

- “Sherm sticks” are not dipped in shit.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- Charles Manson Can Get Married and I Can’t

- You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning

- I Have More Parents Than Friends

- Brontowhoreus

- Up Your Butt and Around the Corner

- 101 Days of Ebola Abstinence

———————————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
6:22 AM, November 12, 2014
Scores
Cunning Linguist 73

Big Aughties 72

LSD Christmas Party 70

Lasagna for One 69

Red Team 68

Cybernetic Optimized Operational Knights of Science (C.O.O.K.S.) 62

But I Loathe Bananas! 60

Milk in a Wine Glass 59

Moldy Lotion 59

Net Neutrality is Not Obamacare! 58

Multiple Scoregasms 56

Arc Flashers 55

Swedish Monkey Porn 55

Catryn's First 51

Jesse's Gurlz 47

Raise Hell, Praise Dale 37

You're Not My Supervisor 37

Table 4 18

Hoffstradamus


Twitter
Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at Natty Greene's in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

Ointment is a weird word.

Computers are going to become self-aware and ruin us all at some point. It’s true! This isn’t some knee-jerk reaction to seeing Terminator 2: Judgment Day for the first time; we continuously advance our technologies day after day, and it’s only a matter of time that we create something that leaves humanity ruing its decisions. You know, kind of like how Hollywood already regrets making that Johnny Depp movie, Transcendence.

I fully realized this looming threat of ours while I was in a training seminar at work this week. In the course, each of us had to take a DISC behavior assessment test. Basically, the test presents you with a series of grouped personality traits, and you have to rank them as they apply to you. 

What I did not expect was how much my results would scare the shit out of me. It was like this program/algorithm/whatchamacallit read my damn diary when I was sleeping. Personal strengths and weaknesses were shown that I couldn’t deny (“Alex has a sense of humor he uses to make people feel comfortable,” “He often tries to find time for artistic output,” etc.), and I’m pretty sure the test could have told me what I had for breakfast if I answered one or two more questions.

Meanwhile, ALL of this information is being stored on some server somewhere, meaning as soon as one of these computer mainframes in Washington (let’s face it, it’ll totally be the government’s fault when shit does hit the fan) turns all HAL 9000 on us, it’s got the highly-accurate personality rundown of millions of people. Who’s to say that it won’t decide to eliminate some or all of one personality group?

*shivers* In the words of Motion City Soundtrack, the future freaks me out.

——————————

Tonight we had yet another instance of one point separating our top two teams, and it came down to the wire. In the end, Big Aughties (one-man team) finished second to Cunning Linguist’s 73-point winning total. LSD Christmas Party and Lasagna for One were hot on their heels, though, and I have a feeling they’ll be grabbing a top spot very soon…

——————————

Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- Princess Diana and Dale Earnhardt did not die in the same car crash.

- Unfortunately for us, Judge Dredd was never a candidate for the Supreme Court. But he is the law, so I’m sure he’ll be OK with that.

- You wankers really love your British slang. Biscuit lift, guv’nuh!

- Sure, “From Under the Cork Tree” was Fall Out Boy’s “breakthrough” album, but I think we can all agree “Take This To Your Grave” is a classic in its own right.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- Cybernetic Optimized Operational Knights of Science (C.O.O.K.S.)

- Moldy Lotion

- Swedish Monkey Porn

- Net Neutrality is Not Obamacare!

- But I Loathe Bananas!

——————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
8:37 AM, November 05, 2014
Scores
Batman Blu-Ray Next Week 81

Sean Penn's Placenta 77

You Have Questions, We Don't Have Answers 76

The Iotas 75

Pocket Sand! 74

Communist Pizza Party 73

Perry Whitlock, American Hero 71

I Got 99 Problems But Your Mom Sayin' No Ain't One 70

We Want a Recount 70

My Polling Place or Yours? 66

Titmouse, It's a Bird! 66

Raise Hell, Praise Dale 64

YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR! 62

Ptittydactyl 60

Vote Sean Haugh! 51

I'm Not Crazy, the Microchip in my Brain Said So 48

The Virginians 40

Hoffstradamus


Twitter
Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at Natty Greene's in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

Ointment is a weird word.

Standardized testing is one of America’s favorite things, and tonight’s Round 4 centered around one of the most inane tests anyone could ever take - the Wonderlic test. This test is taken by NFL rookies during the Combine to try and support the notion that not all jocks are rock-box dumb, though it’s used more to make fun of those that tank it. Hell, one of our questions tonight talked about how Vince Young scored six out of 50 on the test. People never forget that shit.

I’ve taken the Wonderlic a few times in my life, one time as part of a job pre-screening. I was fresh out of college with a Bachelor’s in History and I had no fucking idea how my vast knowledge of Civil Rights-era America was going to land me a job. I did what anyone else in that situation would do - I canvassed Craigslist with my resumé for anything that would pay the rent.

One interview I lined up was with a local furniture warehouse to work in the back and drive forklifts and whatnot. I met with the managers in a conference room and aced all of the standard interview questions they asked. I thought I had the job in the bag.

Then they whipped out the Wonderlic.

They gave me a limited amount of time to get it finished, and I started working on it right away.

I thought it was going to be hard. Truly, I did. But it was the easiest test I’ve ever taken in my life. It was like those bullshit logic tests they made me take in elementary and middle school for gifted classes. As I’m setting a blistering pace to finish the test, I couldn’t help but think, “Vince Young only got six of these?!?!” Once I turned in the test well ahead of time, I sat and waited for my score.

The manager calls me back into the conference room and tells me I just scored the highest they had ever seen on the test. 48 out of 50. “Hell yes!” I thought to myself. There’s no way I don’t get the job with a baller score like that.

Well, I did not get the job. Turns out they use the Wonderlic as more of a litmus test than an aptitude test. Because I scored much, much higher than the current employees or applicants, they said the job wouldn’t be a good fit for my skills. To be fair, they were right - I don’t know why the fuck I thought working in a warehouse was “the answer.” But, until that moment, I’ve never aced a test and still been told I failed. Hella weird feeling, y’all.

—————————————

The Dark Knight rises in tonight’s quiz as we saw a slow climb to first place by Batman Blu-Ray Next Week. Hanging around second place all night, Sean Penn’s Placenta managed to eek out the silver medal by just one point. It’s really nice to see his placenta finally making a name for itself. Well done, everyone.

—————————————

Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- Many of you failed to remember that you get to choose four letters for the final “Wheel of Fortune” puzzle on top of the six they give you. You really should have brought your nana. She would have aced that question.

- VINCE YOUNG GOT SIX OUT OF 50 ON THE WONDERLIC! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

- As proven by David Grundman, if you shoot at a cactus long enough, it’s bound tequila. To kill you. Puns are hard in text.

- *sings* Catherine Zeta Joooooooones, she dips beneath laserrrrrrs.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- You Have Questions, We Don’t Have Answers

- Pocket Sand!

- My Polling Place, or Yours?

- Ptittydactyl

- YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

—————————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

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