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Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
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9:24 AM, April 16, 2014
Scores
Allen Havey Rules Mad Men 76

Soggyworms 73

Silent Bob Sex Fantasy 71

Spoiler Free Game of Thrones Reference 71

I Am a Golden God - I Am On Drugs 69

Casey Anthonys Babysitters Club 68

Everything is Wet Over Here 66

The Regulators 64

Poutinerie - Porn Title or Restaurant 57

US Airways Just Missed the Landing Strip 48

The Diane Rehm Show 44

Too Lazy to Think of a Name 42

TREY IS A FUCKING BITCH 38

Team Timmmay 37

Hoffstradamus


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Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC) Wednesdays at East Village Grill and Bar - 8:00PM-10:00PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at the fine establishments of Natty Greene's and East Village in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

The cold grip of Winter has passed, and Spring is now here. That can only mean one thing - music festival season has arrived. I’ve been to a handful over the past couple years, and I have some friendly advice for anyone planning on trekking to a field or woods to listen to music for four days:

Water, water, water

This is common sense, but you’re going to need a bunch of water when you’re roasting in the sun. I ran out of water one day during Bonnaroo last year, and I thought eating a bunch of ice cream to “quench my thirst” was a good idea. The thing is if you do that, you still pass out from dehydration, and you just have a mess of chocolate and vanilla on your face when you’re laying in the middle of a field. And then everyone thinks you just ate a bunch of ice cream to the point of gluttonous blackout, so no one is calling over a paramedic to save your life.

You will see a lot of topless people…

…but not necessarily the topless people you want to see. For instance, I saw Paul McCartney perform last year, and of course he draws a cornucopia of demographics to his shows. During the set, I look to my left, and a woman that had to be in her 70s is flashing Sir Paul in the middle of a crowd of 80,000+ people. The chances of him seeing her display of affection (I guess?) were very slim, while everyone in a 30’ radius got an eyeful. Thanks? No thanks.

Drug dealers are ninjas

Sure, there is going to be some illicit substances at these things, and it’s not the worst thing in the world. For the most part, people either keep to themselves or are basking in the glow of music and communal camping.

The people peddling their “wares” though are the most guerrilla salespeople I’ve ever encountered. First, you have to find a way to get the goods into the campsite after going through a rigorous vehicle search. It’s like a lamer version of the US/Mexico border. Though if you can make it through, you’re all set.

As I walked through the different festivals I’ve been to, I’ve always been pitched drugs in passing. The guys are straight out of Assassin’s Creed or something because they look completely unassuming and blend in with the crowd, then you hear “ketamine…acid…” whispered in your ear so subtly you think you thought that shit yourself.

Ultimately, if you do go to a festival this year, have fun and don’t die.

—————————

A one-man team came into Natty’s tonight and laid down the hurt on everyone. Allen Havey Rules Mad Men also almost got a perfect Round 8 score by himself. Either way, Soggyworms had to relinquish the lead they had the whole night for a second place finish. THE BAR HAS BEEN RAISED.

—————————

Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- “Linebacker” does not have the “L” and “B” next to each other. You know, like “fullback” does.

- Counting Crows are the worst.

- While incorrect, I believe the original working title of While You Were Sleeping was, in fact, Dick Ticket.

- I would love to read about the fantasy adventures of Cellblock Baggins.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- Spoiler Free Game of Thrones Reference

- Everything Is Wet Over Here

- US Airways Just Missed the Landing Strip

- Poutinerie - Porn Title or Restaurant

- TREY IS A FUCKING BITCH

—————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:29 AM, April 09, 2014
Scores
Free Come Day 69

You Know Nothing, HBO Go! 67

Bitcoin Billionaires, Oh Wait 66

I'm Not Creative, I'm an Artist 62

Dogs are Great & Mickey Rooney is Dead. 61

Crableg Wasted 59

The Answer to Question 1 is B 59

Newbies: The Sequel 58

Chelly & Cuck 56

The Second Stall Has Backsplash 56

One Ping to Lose Them All 50

Angry 3rd Graders 45

Rob Ford's Campaign Managers 44

Silly Argentina, Penguins Aren't Missiles 40

Hoffstradamus


Twitter
Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC) Wednesdays at East Village Grill and Bar - 8:00PM-10:00PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at the fine establishments of Natty Greene's and East Village in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

Music is one of the greatest inventions in human history. That’s hard to argue against. Music can inspire, console, embolden, and heal. In tonight’s case, it can also spurn a room full of white people to start singing Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend” in the middle of a round. 

It was quite obvious people were psychologically compelled to sing along to the old school jam. A slight murmur started in the room, and as I turned the music volume down, the decibel-level of the crowd increased to a fever pitched “OHHHH BABY YOUUUUUUUU, YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEEEEEED.” Yet another magical quiz moment at Natty Greene’s.

However, it got me thinking of other songs white people can’t help but sing out loud in a crowd full of strangers. Here are a few examples so you can prepare accordingly in the case you find yourself in a room full of drunken people and the song comes on:

Europe - “The Final Countdown”

This song suffers from the classic case of shouting the song’s title in the chorus, then everyone erupting into off-pitch mouth synthesizer noises. For the record, I tried typing out the synth notes of the chorus in text, but that shit is damn near impossible. DUH DUH DOO DOO DUHDUH DOODOODOO. Fuck it.

Bon Jovi - “Wanted Dead or Alive”

You can’t really argue against this. Hell, I’m guilty of holding a tall beer in one hand, and using the other to grab a friend by the collar of his shirt to yell “DEAD OR ALIIIIIIIIVE” right in his face. It happens.

Bon Jovi - “Livin’ On a Prayer”

Mr. Bongiovi has got crowd chants on lock, and this ditty is no exception. There’s a reason why this is generally one of the last songs played at the bar before closing time, and the ladies can’t help but swoon at the guys yelling they are “HALFWAY THERRRE!”

Garth Brooks - “Friends In Low Places”

All I had to do was type the name of this song, and you’ve already started singing it in your head. Don’t deny it.

———————————

The lead was held down by Free Come Day the entire night, but not without foes trying their damnedest to unseat them the whole time. In the end, second place was decided by one point, and You Know Nothing, HBO Go! went home with the gift card. Well played, peeps.

———————————

Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- After going through three cycles of incorrect bonus question answers at the end of Round 8, I now know what Quiz Purgatory feels like.

- It did fit with the round theme - I’ll give them that - but “Wu-Tang” was never the name of a Chris Rock sketch.

- I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again - That Thing You Do! is one of the best movies of all-time.

- Rita Repulsa.

- Our first place team’s name might be Free Come Day or Free Cone Day or Free Corn Dog. Ultimately, don’t write your team names in cursive-ish.

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- You Know Nothing, HBO Go!

- Dogs Are Great and Mickey Rooney Is Dead

- Crableg Wasted

- The Second Stall Has Backsplash

- One Ping to Lose Them All

———————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz

Natty Greene's Brewing Co.
505 West Jones Street
Raleigh, NC 27603
Tuesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:41 AM, April 02, 2014
Scores
Rufi Police 78

Warren Buffet Rigged the NCAA to Save a Billion 77

American Teen Wolves in Paris 75

Jesse and the Rippers 72

Opinions Are Like Assholes - I Once Saw My Uncles 71

Accidental Fecal Release 68

Beer = Mc Hammered 68

Paging Dr. Johnson 68

Why Havent We Dumped Crisco in the Rivers to Help with All the Ash 67

Alex is a Pretty Pretty Princess 65

Your Mothers Dead, Im Banging Aunt Robin 64

The Redlobstercoats 63

We Believe in Nihilism 60

The Inevitable Return of Peter Parker 58

Its Either This or Watch Womens Basketball 57

Cree 44

Springtime for Hitler 21

Hoffstradamus


Twitter
Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays at Natty Greene's - 7:30PM-9:30PM (Raleigh, NC) Wednesdays at East Village Grill and Bar - 8:00PM-10:00PM (Raleigh, NC)
Alex Hofford (Hoffstradamus)

Hola! My name is Alex and I am the Quizmaster at the fine establishments of Natty Greene's and East Village in Raleigh. I also perform comedy in the Triangle at DSI Comedy and with the improv group BONE CRACKER.

It was a special April Fool’s quiz tonight at Natty’s. The weather has finally turned warm, the beer selection was on point, and the quizzers were ready to pick their brains for quiz night glory. It was all fine and dandy until Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson showed up and started inspiring everyone to be a better person. What a total buzzkill.

It started off like any other quiz. Well, besides the fact we reversed the round order for this special day. As I’m recounting the answers from the first three rounds, of course I notice various answers that are flat-out wrong and/or stupid. And, of course, I’m going to point these out to everyone. It’s right when I’m getting to this moment - the moment of crippling a team’s esteem in front of everyone - when The Rock bursts in and starts…being nice to everyone. 

Rock: “Hey guys! What are you beautiful people up to?”

Me: “Uh, wow, uh, we’re just doing a quiz, and…”

R: “A quiz!?!? I’m sure everyone in here has PERFECT SCORES!!!”

[crowd applause]

M: “Heh, not quite. The team We Believe in Nihilism wrote…”

R: [looks at team] “I believe in YOU.”

[We Believe in Nihilism starts swooning]

M: (sigh) “No, but their answer is completely wrong, though. They wrote Alexander Graham Bell instead of Thomas Edison.”

R: “We all make mistakes, Alex. It’s about how we learn from them and grow.”

[a din chatter starts amongst the crowd]

M: “You’re kinda ruining my swerve here, Rock. You’re being too…positive.”

R: “It’s what the world needs! Everyone in here is smart in their own way, and they can do anything they put their mind to. All they need is someone to motivate them to be the best they can be.”

[random “Yeah!”s echo out from the crowd]

M: “HAHA, OK. You think you can do a better job? Try it.”

So I let The Rock host the rest of the quiz. While I drank, The Rock gave everyone perfect scores, inspired a couple of people to go back to school, and got a few others to volunteer at the local ASPCA. Somehow I lost six pounds overnight. The dude inspired my metabolism to get its shit together. Incredible.

I kept the real scores, however. Homie don’t do that “support” shit at the quiz.

——————————

A Round 7 joker propelled Rufi Police to a first place finish by ONE POINT over last week’s winners, Warren Buffet Rigged the NCAA to Save a Billion. Well done. Don’t get used to having three 16-point rounds, though, folks. 

——————————

Interesting Notes from the Quiz!:

- Regardless of Smirnoff or Voodoo doughnut flavor, all of those flavors sounded like insta-diabetes.

- Lambeau Field didn’t renovate in 2003 (that was Soldier Field), but even if they did, no matter how you dress up a turd, it’s still a turd. FUCK THE PACKERS, GO LIONS.

- Getting two EMF questions in one quiz is the trivia-equivalent of a double rainbow.

- Not putting Vanessa Williams’ song “Save the Best for Last” at number 8 in round 7 is a gross oversight.

- Technically, wouldn’t Noah have been a spiritual predecessor to Waterworld, and not a successor? The water came first, right?

Awesome Team Name Shout-Outs!:

- Warren Buffet Rigged the NCAA to Save a Billion

- American Teen Wolves in Paris

- Accidental Fecal Release

- Your Mother’s Dead, I’m Banging Aunt Robin

- The Redlobstercoats

- It’s Either This or Watch Women’s Basketball

——————————

Follow me on Twitter! - @ahoff101

Like the music at the quiz? Check out the Spotify playlist! Geeks Who Drink - Raleigh Jamz


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