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Ballard Loft
5105 Ballard Ave NW
Seattle, WA 98107
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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2:04 PM, June 12, 2013
Scores
Chug-A-Lug House 89
Desperately Seeking Sasquatch 81
Lots of Rainbow Dancing Bears 76
Ballard's 4th Most Popular Quiz Team 71
Death Torrent 68
Bob Loblaw's Trivia Squad 67
The Trippy Tripod 65
Quiche Lorraina-Bobbit 64
Double Whammy Awesome 62
God, I Hate the Spurs 62
Sonny 61
Mutton Chops / Greasy Hair 59
Who's Forgetting Sara Marshall? 58
Smelt Shake 57
Bad Girls Club 49
Skool's Out 48
Stu's Gun Show 48
Nice Dynamite 38
Dumpster Babies 36
SPAM 31
Ellington 12
We Skipped Round 1 8
A Treatise on Shadan Ardalan
President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club


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Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays @ 8pm - The Ballard Loft, Seattle WA 		Jon (President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club)

Let's talk about me, finally.

Sean McNeil once said, "I don't know how you can be so arrogant yet hate yourself so much."  Thanks, Sean.  To answer the question you did not actually ask, I do not know how I pull it off but I do and it works.  That is, if you consider mind-boggling neurosis and crippling depression "working" but let us just go with it.

I live in Seattle yet I am originally from New Jersey.  That means I am a bastard.  Do not say "GTL" around me, I will cut you.  I may cut you anyway, since I have issues.  I got introduced to this whole pub quiz world when I went to a quiz at my current venue with two friends and a sociopathic girl without a soul.  After the soulless girl left my life I noticed that Geeks Who Drink was hiring in Seattle and I thought, "Oh my, this seems like a great place to feed my ravenous narcissim as well as fill the hole left by the soulless girl with lots of meaningless sex, perhaps finding some girl and trick her into loving me."  Well, it did not quite work out like that, but I am still trying. 

In the mean time, I really enjoy having everyone listen to everything I say and deconstructing them verbally when their actions do not please me.  Or verbally deconstructing them because I am bored.  Also drinking lots of whiskey.  I feel like my father.

I would argue that 100% of you do not know who this person is.  I would even argue that less than half of readers even realized this was a person's name.  That is fine.  I am nearly certain (plus or minus say 11%) that all of you know a Shadan Ardalan in your personal life, he/she just goes by a different name and is most likely NOT Persian. 

So who is Shadan Ardalan or, in a more broader sense, who is the Shadan Ardalan Archetype?  Good question and it just so happens I have many lines of blank white space I have to unblankify so why not do that with description.

The shadchetype (this is how I will reference Shadan Ardalan Archetype from now on) is not a type unique to any one specific class, but is a type accessible to any profession.  No sir, not just wizards or rangers for this one.  The type can be simply stated as "the one that goes too far." 

In every aspect of life there is the concept of "going too far."  It could be ascribed to trying to bed a chick, a series of running jokes, the use of cardamom or coriander in a dish, the chorus of a song.  You can always "go too far."  The thing is, the shadchetype does not realize he/she has gone too far but nearly every witness to the shadation (the act of going to far by a shadchetype) realizes that the line had been crossed and cringes due to the mental shock of a violation of social norms. 


A common shadchetype is your aging father.  It is a standard observation that as your own father gets older, he attempts to still be funny.  This is a by-product of your own father attempting to be "cool" to you when you were a teenager.  Generally, every attempt at humor will have some base comedic value but the shadchetype is hungry and greedy and demands more so tries to elaborate and expound on tht sliver of value and proceeds to ruin it completely.  At best you have the cringe, at worst you have an embarrassing faux pas at your rehearsal dinner.

How do we deal with the shadchetype?  Much like herpes, there is no cure for the shadchetype.  Soem people treat the symptoms by explicitly pointing out the shadation when it occurs however dependingon how ingrained the shadchetype is this will either be met with disbelief and a refusal, possibly subconscious and unintentional, to see it, or it will be met with hostility.  The witnesses will often be dumbfounded at how the shadchetype does not understand or how, upon receiving criticism, still fail to modify their future actions.  Hopefully the future, with its continued studies of the brain, mapping of the human genome, genetic modification, and increased skill in pharmaceuticals, will give us a real cure for the shadchetype.

In conclusion, I should state that Shadan Ardalan, despite his rampant shadations, manages to keep them almost completely online.  The condition has not spread to the real world version, not yet at least.  Unfortunately, my father suffers from this condition in both his online and his real life persona.  Additionally, Shadan is still a pretty cool and intelligent guy.  He is, in fact, a rocket scientist.  He was intending to be a pilot but, as usual, went too far and the fucker wound up in outer space.  My father, on the other hand, is an accoutant and he really didn't go too far with that.


Quiz was good a number of teams answered questions and a few came in first, second, and third place.  Shout out to Chug-A-Lug House for their continued domination and they nailing 16/16 on that tough Round 3.

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Ballard Loft
5105 Ballard Ave NW
Seattle, WA 98107
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
1:28 PM, June 05, 2013
Scores
Chug-A-Lug House 87
Dani Dies Next Season 78
Laser Tag Homicide (3rd) 78
You're a Quizzard Harry (2nd) 78
Anustart 77
Desperately Seeking Sasquatch 76
Chumbawumba Tribute Band 75
Death Torrent 74
Ballard's Fourth Most Popular Quiz Team 71
Grand Theft Avocado 70
Pio 5:21 "I don't touch quizzers" 67
Jwck 58
2 Drunk Irishmen Walk into the Ballard Loft 57
Bry Gry 56
Two guys, a girl, and a merkin 54
Cunt Puntresses 52
Donkey Lips 52
Sooper Sharkz 48
Green Dawgs 20
This is Seattle, the weather is supposed to be horrible
President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club


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Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays @ 8pm - The Ballard Loft, Seattle WA 		Jon (President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club)

Let's talk about me, finally.

Sean McNeil once said, "I don't know how you can be so arrogant yet hate yourself so much."  Thanks, Sean.  To answer the question you did not actually ask, I do not know how I pull it off but I do and it works.  That is, if you consider mind-boggling neurosis and crippling depression "working" but let us just go with it.

I live in Seattle yet I am originally from New Jersey.  That means I am a bastard.  Do not say "GTL" around me, I will cut you.  I may cut you anyway, since I have issues.  I got introduced to this whole pub quiz world when I went to a quiz at my current venue with two friends and a sociopathic girl without a soul.  After the soulless girl left my life I noticed that Geeks Who Drink was hiring in Seattle and I thought, "Oh my, this seems like a great place to feed my ravenous narcissim as well as fill the hole left by the soulless girl with lots of meaningless sex, perhaps finding some girl and trick her into loving me."  Well, it did not quite work out like that, but I am still trying. 

In the mean time, I really enjoy having everyone listen to everything I say and deconstructing them verbally when their actions do not please me.  Or verbally deconstructing them because I am bored.  Also drinking lots of whiskey.  I feel like my father.

I never hid the fact that I'm a dark curmudgeon.  As a result, I like the ugly weather of the Seattle area.  I wrap it around myself like a warm blanket.  It makes me feel like I'm in the right place.  I like how it keeps people inside, eschewing public areas, preventing them from bothering you like jerks. 

As you might expect, I hate it when the weather is nice.  People feel the need to like ... go outside and run or walk the dog or some bullshit like hiking or picking wild herbs. I like the gloom and the doom and it brings the quizzers to the bar like that insert song about milkshakes or something I don't really know ethnic music.

That being said, last night's quiz was very competitive as the real superstars of quiz gear up for the Rumble in the Pub.  That's the name of our regional competition to find the bestest quiz team in the Seattle region!  Jesus, do you people not listen to me at all when I talk on the microphone?  Is it only the questions and the answers that you care about?  I'm a real person you know, with "feelings" and "dreams" and "opinions" that I occasionally talk about but I guess you are too busy with your own attempts to fuck whoever is sitting at the table with you.  DAMN YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!

Ahem, read about the Rumble in the Pub and get it done.

Ballard Loft
5105 Ballard Ave NW
Seattle, WA 98107
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
1:44 PM, May 29, 2013
Scores
It's Patrick Bday ? It's Not Rape Anymore 86
Up All Night to Get Some 82
My Couch Pull Out of Otrivia Newton John 80
Team Gail 80
Your Own Banana Hammock 80
Play Risk 77
Heil Teapot! 75
Mash-up Mash Note 74
Limp Bizkit Tribute Band 66
Wolf Pack of One 64
Demos, Lord of the Arctic 60
Well, This is Embarassing 60
Legs, Rack, and a Smile 57
Grandpas Coinsack 56
Drank 51
Playmould 50
Don Solo 45
This is Our 3rd Date 45
LJ's All Day 42
Lauren is Late 41
Ghee Butterchaps 40
Schooly Boyz 22
Not Here 15
Here's why I don't like you ...
President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club


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Web

Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays @ 8pm - The Ballard Loft, Seattle WA 		Jon (President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club)

Let's talk about me, finally.

Sean McNeil once said, "I don't know how you can be so arrogant yet hate yourself so much."  Thanks, Sean.  To answer the question you did not actually ask, I do not know how I pull it off but I do and it works.  That is, if you consider mind-boggling neurosis and crippling depression "working" but let us just go with it.

I live in Seattle yet I am originally from New Jersey.  That means I am a bastard.  Do not say "GTL" around me, I will cut you.  I may cut you anyway, since I have issues.  I got introduced to this whole pub quiz world when I went to a quiz at my current venue with two friends and a sociopathic girl without a soul.  After the soulless girl left my life I noticed that Geeks Who Drink was hiring in Seattle and I thought, "Oh my, this seems like a great place to feed my ravenous narcissim as well as fill the hole left by the soulless girl with lots of meaningless sex, perhaps finding some girl and trick her into loving me."  Well, it did not quite work out like that, but I am still trying. 

In the mean time, I really enjoy having everyone listen to everything I say and deconstructing them verbally when their actions do not please me.  Or verbally deconstructing them because I am bored.  Also drinking lots of whiskey.  I feel like my father.

... because you are, presumably, a living human being.

I like dogs.  And cats.  Sure, they can be annoying, but I enjoy their presence.  I actually let them touch me, unlike you filthly little plaguebearers with your sticky hands and oozing faces.  I would run quiz for dogs and cats if that weren't a trivial operation.  I guess it's also a little nuts to do that.  Well, I'm either mad or both.

So, since quizzing for cats and dogs (ok maybe turtles and birds too) is OUT for the time being (maybe once we have venues in Canada?  Do they do that up there?  Talk to animals that is, not quiz) I was forced to quiz for you all.  I asked you questions and you answered them, lacking completely in floppy fuzzy ears, wagging tales, sandpaper tongues, and purring little motorboats.  Thanks for denying me that.

There was a new girl there.   She could speak English.  That's about all I remember.  She read some questions and I shutdown mentally for a few minutes.  What, I'm addicted to the microphone.  When other peope use it I have a little out of body experience.  This would never happen if you all were cats or dogs or turtles or birds.  That would really solve all the problems.  We probably wouldn't sell much food or booze though AND THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.

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