Geeks Who Drink - Prohibition

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Prohibition
504 East Colfax Avenue
Denver, CO 80203
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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12:25 PM, May 14, 2013


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Scores

Hahn Shot First	73

Three-Legged Puppy	65

Mutherhumpers	61

4 Richards & A Chick	56

Shout It Out	50

Bruno Go Bonk	49

God Hates Mondays	47

Scratch & Slurp	40

Olly Olly Oxide-Free	39

Cupcake	22

No Team Name	19

The Wikstars	13

It's Sure Not Mother's Day Anymore

MoshPanda

It's the day after Mother's Day, the time to shed the ruse of being good and sweet for Mom's sake, and what better way to do so than with the same rabble-rousing and merry-making you've come to expect from us at Prohibition. That's just a name, after all; we don't prohibit anything, except of course more than 6 people per team and looking up answers on internet-connected devices. And also murder, that's a no go. Basically anything that's already illegal before coming into the bar is prohibited. But not alcohol, that could never be prohibited to us responsible adults over the age of 21 who enjoy liquor carefully and do not drive afterwards. Not you, not no one, Mom! You're not going to take my God given right to sip on my alcoholic beverage at a pace comfortable for me, you hear me Mom!? You hear me!?

Okay, a little purging there, but it was for the best that we didn't have the mothers out tonight, as there was a bit of cursing and a whole visual round on stars we've seen naked. After last week's Porn For The Blind round, it's looking like we'll always have something to excite & titillate our audiences. And nothing excites and titillates more than mother-fucking MAGIC! Round 6: Abracafuckingdabra was an entire round on the mysterious art form known as Magic! (imagine two doves came out of my sleeves just then), as those purveyors of Magic known as magicians. We also have a question on Magic the Gathering, for those of us who spent junior high lunch squirreled away in the corner of the cafeteria, looking through binders upon binders of cards, trading to build up the perfect deck... The Deck of Kings! Or so I assume. Why, I never did that in junior high or high school or anything. No, really, I swear! I actually just went to the library and read comics, so at least my socially-inept behavior was hidden in the part of the school where no one went.

The teams did their best to make their moms proud, and hopefully not because they forgot to call yesterday or at least send a card. Three Legged Puppy kept an early lead above 4 Richards & A Chick, MutherHumpers, and Hahn Shot First, hopefully pulling from the sympathy from the crowd imagining a little 3-legged puppy (in fact, I'm going to do it now. Awww, look at his little face and nub!). But just like all three-legged puppies, they fell down, down the ranks, down down down, all the way to 2nd place, allowing Hahn Shot First to take, well, first. The Mutherhumpers are getting some new competition in, so they're going to have to call in reinforcements if they want to reclaim their number one spot. They'll need them too, because with new teams God Hates Mondays, Bruno Go Bonk, Shout It Out, and Scratch & Slurp coming in and causing a ruckus, it looks like we'll have a pretty solid battle for all the top three spots in the coming weeks.

You too can put your geek knowledge to the test with a tasty beer with Geeks Who Drink, so we'll be seeing next Monday at 8! And remember to call your mother when it's not Mother's Day too, I bet she'd like that.

Prohibition
504 East Colfax Avenue
Denver, CO 80203
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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11:53 AM, May 07, 2013


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The Muther Humpers	79

The Fappy Tunas	77

David Duchovny, Why Don't You Love Me?	72

The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill's Accountant	65

Slippery Pete	62

Hermaphrodite Barbie "Comes" In Her Own Box	59

Babyface	58

Bruno Go Bonk	54

I Wanted Sausage, But Not Like This. Not Like This

MoshPanda

If there is anything that is going to get our quizzers hearts pumping and the the rest of them giggling, it was going to be our Round 7: Listen Carefully, featuring the kind souls at the not-for-profit venture Porn for the Blind. You see, sometimes the blind want to jerk one out from time to time too, just like the rest of us, but they can't enjoy the thrill of the internet like the rest of us Lookers and Seers (that can't be spelled right). What can be done, as it's only their eyes that are broken, not their genitalia; it seems in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is the only one who can masturbate. Well, worry no more, as the Cambridge-based Porn for the Blind (clips are NSFW) is there to help those with vision problems have no more ejaculation problems, at least when it comes to imagining the madness that is internet pornography. Just one more reason to come out for Geeks Who Drink: we filled the bar with the Porn for the Blind presentation of Big Sausage Pizza (very very VERY NSFW) and expected our tittering contestants to pay attention long enough to answer my general questions on the clip. If that doesn't sound like a Monday night full of fun and laughs, then you and I are on two different pages, brother.

Now I know what you're thinking, but Porn for the Blind is a very tasteful site, almost like a book-on-tape, although it may just be that the young man reading our particular clip seemed less than interested in a guy sticking his wang through a pizza box while a girl performed on him. But hey, perhaps one of our many teams who got perfect or near-perfect scores on the round would be willing to donate their time to record a description of one of the numerous porn sites on the web. We're looking at you, Muther Humpers, David Duchovny, Why Don't You Love Me?, Hermaphrodite Barbie "Comes" In Her Own Box, Babyface, and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill's Accountant, you sly sexual beings you. Porn for the Blind's mission to record all of the Internet's vast needs willing and able soldiers, and they want you!

My only question about Porn for the Blind: how is the blind person expected to get to the website in the first place? You figure someone has to direct them to the website in the first place, and hey, why don't they just have sex with that person?

We also had some non-porn related rounds, but really, no one seemed as into current events and dumb-yet-famous youngsters as listening to a even-toned man describe in not-so-graphic detail a very off-putting porn clip. But I think we all have to agree, he made it seem almost magical; after all, when's the last time you heard a guy finishing described as "coming to fruition?" Probably the last time you read the Bible, is my I guess. Anyways, who knows what silliness we're going to get into next week, so I hope to see you all then. Have a good week, and may all your dreams come to fruition!

Prohibition
504 East Colfax Avenue
Denver, CO 80203
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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11:47 AM, April 30, 2013


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Scores

I Quizzed My Pants	79

I Need a Team Name	66

The Never Nudes	63

Bitch, I'm From Dade County	59

This Beer Tastes Like More	44

Hall & Oates Express	25

I Am Geek, I Am the Night!

MoshPanda

It finally happened, spring/summer has come to Prohibition for Geeks Who Drink! And it is about time, because I was getting pretty sick of being nice and warm most of the week, then having to put up with the damn blizzards as I tried to get my week off right with some geek pub quizzing. But now, at last, the weather has participated to help bring the quizzers back out, because who wouldn't want to have a cold beer on a warm evening on Colfax? Trust me, as long as the wandering bums and vagrants keep to themselves (which, if last night is any indication, they won't), then the patio life has come back to the Denver bar scene.

But it was inside where all of the happening happenings were, starting with a crowd-favorite round on guessing what was in the pocket! Not my pocket, of course, just random pockets throughout pop culture. But it didn't stop me from being happy to see everyone, that's for sure! And after a couple of music rounds, the best round of all, Bats & Batman! If you know just one thing about me, it's that I am a gigantic Batman fan, so the very mention of the round title got my Underoos all up in a tizzy. Ha ha, I'm joking of course! I don't have Batman Underoos. Just multiple pairs of Batman boxers, pajama pants, shirts, hats, various watches, and about a million other things that aren't clothing related. All the Batman questions (and I guess some stupid non-Batman related bat questions) we could want, and still only a single team could answer them all and win a place in the dark cold Batcave that is my heart. Congratulations, I Quizzed My Pants, you made this Dork Knight proud.

Of course, I should have expected a couple of perfect rounds from the game's winner, but that doesn't mean teams The Never Nudes and I Need a Team Name were slacking off. If it wasn't for that last round and a Joker, then we may have seen I Need A Team Name take the top spot without even coming up with a name. A good push by all the quizzers, and if this is any indication what the last bit of spring leading into summer is bringing to us, then we will be expecting a crowd of anxious contestants piling in more and more with the nice, warm weather and cold booze to drink. I will be seeing you next week, my little Bat-Mites! Same Geek time, Same Geek bar!

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