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Noonan's Tavern
13521 East Iliff Avenue
Aurora, CO 80014
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1:21 PM, June 15, 2012


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Scores

Scissor Me Timbers	78

I Came On Eileen	53

Chicken Fried Steak	47

Double Trouble	29

Brickman #1	8

What's All The Complainin' Aboot?

Lagerhead

Nickleback, that's why.

I think as soon as I mentioned that we'd be doing an audio round on Canadian bands, you knew it was coming. You probably thought of the shittiest band of all time and then maybe Alanis. Well the first half of that came true, to the chagrin of all. I don't think I've ever seen a band in my days that has such widespread hatred. Limp Bizkit looks like Zeppelin compared to them. I think maybe it's a snowball effect, where it's now become cool to hate these Cannucks because everyone else does. But it's definitely for good reason. If you are in the minority that actually think they rock, it's probably best that you don't tell anyone aboot it. One lady at quiz found that out first hand. She's like "they aren't that bad!" And I'm like yeah, they're terrible and then she was mocked unmerciful by her fellow quizzers. Best keep that to yourself, sweetheart.

I was really hoping that tonight would be our largest turnout yet, especially after last week's 10 teams. But alas, it just happened to be an extremely thin night with only 3 teams finishing the quiz. On the bright side, once one team fizzled out early, and another team left after R6, the remaining 3 were guaranteed a spot in the money! My most loyal team, this time dubbed Scissor Me Timbers, had a huge score of 78 and demolished the competition. They won by a ridiculous 25 points! That is indeed impressive. I still think we should have a bar-to-bar all-star competition. I'd put some money down on my pony, for shizzle. In second place was I Came On Eileen, who are another regular group, and third was taken by Chicken Fried Steak.

Lastly, a chivalrous act occurred right before my eyes, in part to a gaff of mine. When about to read the internet bonus prize winner, I only saw one entry on my table, when actually there were like 3 more hiding behind my computer. I had already read the name and the guy came up to claim his prize. It was then when I was told about the other entrants. Ah shit, I F'd up. He was cool and sat back down, agreeing to put his name back in the pool so we could draw again. Of course, I picked a different name and someone else received the Geeks pint glass. The new winner from I Came On Eileen said that he already had one of these glasses so he bequeathed his chalice to his adversary in a most kind gesture indeed. Well played, sir. That is some good karma for you, my friend. The picture to the left shows this happening but I must apologize for the flash not going off. Dammit! That was still cool, though.

See you next time.

As always, stay classy.

Noonan's Tavern
13521 East Iliff Avenue
Aurora, CO 80014
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11:03 AM, June 08, 2012


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Scores

Green Lantern Is Gay	65

I Came On Eileen	56

G'ASSS	54

Will You Hurry Up, I'm Tired Of Holding This	53

Karma Punch	50

Who Dunnit	47

Fig Neurtrons	34

Now and Zen	33

Chanchos	23

Pork Is Not A Verb	16

ERMAHGERD! Wern Hit Wernders!

Lagerhead

During a post-quiz smoke, my life changed just a little. A loyal quizzer enlightened me to the internet meme "ermagherd" and after just looking it up, I had a good 5 minute laugh and an annoying new thing to say to my friends. Now mind you, I am a simple soul and will laugh at most things, so for those who require intellectual humor, this is not for you. It's that weird, twangy, nasal mid-west accent and icanhascheezburger memes combined into one and it's glorious. I keep thinking of that huge chick from The Cleveland Show - Kendra - and she's looking at these hot tubs and says "how do ya flersh these fancy terlets?" Ha! Every time I go to Target, I say "Tergets." It's funnier than a Canadian accent and not as annoying as a Wisconsin one. So just go to Google images, type in "ermahgerd" and thank me later.

As for the second part of the title, tonight I regaled the masses with a playlist of those flash-in-the-pan songs we call one-hit wonders. I think I actually have enough for 2 nights of playlists so maybe someday soon, I'll revisit this. It's almost a quiz in itself, trying to remember who sang these tunes. Some of them are easy: Chumbawumba, 4 Non Blondes, DeVo, Sir Mix Alot - they are all ones we have tattooed in our brains. But others, not so much. I was impressed to hear people shout out band names/artists on some of these gems. When I played "Mickey," a guy yelled out "Toni Basil!" I'm like umm...actually yes! You are correct. And I when I rolled out "Bitch," an entire team said Alanis Morrissette except for one chick who called them all dumb-asses and said it's Meredith Brooks. Well done! Other favorites played tonight were Electric Avenue, I Wish by Skee-Lo, Rumpshaker, I Want Candy and of course Jenny (867-5309). Oh and I can't forget my all-time favorite one-hit wonder: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by the Proclaimers. One chick there said that she loves this song so much, she wants it played at her wedding and at her funeral. That's love.

Memes and classic ditties aside, we had ourselves one hell of a quiz! There was an incredible turnout tonight with 10 teams, which is on the high end for this venue, and 2nd through 4th places were decided by only 3 points; 4th and 5th were close behind, too. Taking the crown once again was Green Lantern Is Gay, who won handily by 9 points. Second goes to I Came On Eileen, whose team name's inspiration was coincidentally played tonight as it fit the category. Just barely grabbing third was G'ASSS, who eked out Will You Hurry Up, I'm Tired Of Holding This by one point. Karma Punch and Who Dunnit had nice showing as well. It was indeed a difficult quiz tonight but there were some pretty decent scores. Our rounds were about the #11, a that's what she said music round, Kidnapped!, Andy's and Dicks and a second audio round all about the ever-exasperating John Leguizamo.

I had a blerst lerst nerght! See how fun that is?! I hope to see you all back next week for anerther quirzz!

Noonan's Tavern
13521 East Iliff Avenue
Aurora, CO 80014
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9:41 AM, June 01, 2012


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Scores

Miami Mug Munchers	64

Jabs	55

Karma Punch	54

Sam Elliot's Push Broom	48

B-Wise	46

Patio Players	35

Now and Zen	31

Huge Rants On Hugh Grant

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To the chagrin of our loyal quizzers, Hugh Grant and his smugness made an appearance in our round 7 audio round. It was met with mixed emotions as one team (Jabs) rocked it with a 7 of 8 correct (not sure if that's brag-worthy or not) while another team got a big ole goose egg. Patio Players threw in the towel early on this round and submitted such answers as They All Suck, He Sucks, He Got Caught With A Prostitute, He Lost Liz Hurley and They All Fucking Suck. I gave mad cool points but none that helped them in their final standings. And yeah, how the hell do you cheat on Liz Hurley with a skank-ass hooker?! That's like choosing cube steak instead of a filet. She was in my top 3 growing up so I just don't get it. And who really watches his movies? Unless you got a girl that loves the same old sappy romantic comedy time and time again, you probably haven't seen many of them. Maybe it's just me, but he seems to play the same part each time and for that, I poo-poo these movies. You could see it on the faces of people as they brought up their answer sheets that this was not their favorite round. Regardless, spirits remained high during the rest of the evening's quiz and we soon forgot about the British doucher that steals hearts and gets BJ's from crack whores.

Speaking of my top 3 goddesses from my upbringing, another one popped up in tonight's quiz: my girl Tyra! Man, I still have memory burn from that poster on my wall...the one that graced the cover of S.I.'s Swimsuit Issue with the red and pink polka dot bikini. Giggety x a googleplex. And no smartasses, it wasn't on my ceiling...although that would have been sweet. Then there's the made-for-internet Victoria Secrets lingerie show - ahh the good old days. Then she started talking. Then it all went to hell. Now she's bordering on bat-shit crazy and I've lost wood. She is the poster child for why supermodels shouldn't get talk shows or host reality shows.

In case you were wondering, the 3rd member of that famed list of mine was, and still is, Jen Aniston. Oh Rachael...

So enough about my teenage fancies, what about the quiz?? It was indeed a difficult one with only one team breaking through 60 point threshold. We had a round on alcohol, which lifted people's, dare I say, spirits? Zing. Our audio round wasn't too shabby and then you had to try and recall geography from the Dark Continent. Somebody put Kanye West as an African country, ha! Wait, is that racist? You all did well on our visual round and many of you aced it and chose to use the joker - ballsy! It actually turned out well for some as they scored better on that 8-point round than they did on the 16-point round 8.

Our victors once again was the ever-changing team name which appeared tonight as Miami Mug Munchers. Coming up silver was Jabs and rounding out the top 3 was Karma Punch. We had some new teams play as well and I hope you come back and join us again.

Have a good weekend, Noodes.

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