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Noonan's Tavern
13521 East Iliff Avenue
Aurora, CO 80014
Thursdays: 8:00 PM

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12:04 AM, May 18, 2012


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Scores

Donna Summer's Last Dance	72

Slow Children Playing	69

SJ Cubed	63

Brain!!	50

Now and Zen	40

Douchebags	22

Back In The Saddle

Lagerhead

Well it's good to be back in the sinful bliss of Colorado. Big thanks to Stef for subbing for me last week while I was in the land of the Mormons. I must say, they are an odd people. My travels took me to southern Utah and although the scenery was stunning, the locals were a bit off kilter. I am not one to impugn on one's religious beliefs, but their way of life is bat shit crazy! Sorry if you're Mormon but it's true. Come to think of it, if you're Mormon, you're probably not out drinking at pub quiz and hence, not reading this blog. You're probably having dinner with your second or third wife. So yeah, it's some fucked up shit! I tried hard to bring back some Mormon underwear for an internet bonus prize but that would mean I would have to convert to Mormonism to get it and I just don't have that kind of time.

You were with me, quizzers, in my travels. So I'm trying to start at fire at a campsite in southern Utah and I brought a handful of old answer sheets for paper to start my blaze. I felt bad about it but I'd just be throwing them out anyway so what's the difference? Well, that paper doesn't lend itself to the flame very well, and within 5 minutes, my fire was nothing more than a collection of luke-warm embers and I am sitting in the dark! Maybe it was karma. I felt weird about burning them in the first place and then I had no fire. Or maybe it was some Mormon voodoo inhibiting my fire, punishing me for my sinning ways. Either way, I thought about ya when on the road, Nudes.

Although the trip was incredible, it felt great to be back in the confines of pub quiz in Aurora. It was a very light turnout tonight with only 5 teams competing - a sixth added at the end - but it was competitive nonetheless. The game changer came in R5, where the visual round offered up a 3rd double-point round, and our eventual winners, Donna Summer's Last Dance, scored an amazing 16 plus joker, which created an insurmountable lead. That well-timed ace cemented their spot at the top and they were able to fend off the always dangerous Slow Children Playing to take home sweet victory. Coming in third was SJ Cubed, who had a very respectable 63. It was a tough quiz indeed tonight children but you really impressed me with your scores. Even though R7 was super daunting (robots reading Shakespeare), you all plugged along and knocked out some very respectable scores. I think if I put out a graph of average scores from when we started here at Noonan's 3 months ago until now, you'd see a definite overall increase of average scores. Way to be!

I'd write more but my ass has to be up super early tomorrow and I'm fading fast. Thanks again for making Stef feel welcome last week and I hope to see you all out next week. Same bat time, same bat channel. Speaking of bats, I love that someone thought that Batman's butler Alfred had the last name of Wong. HA!

More wonton, Master Wayne?

Later kiddos.

Noonan's Tavern
13521 East Iliff Avenue
Aurora, CO 80014
Thursdays: 8:00 PM

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1:23 PM, May 11, 2012


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Scores

Schwarma??	61

Brain!!!	58

I came on Eileen	54

JDL	52

No use for a name	41

Now and Zen	37

Team1	9

DILLIGAF about a Nuggets game?

Who the hell moved my vagina?

Sometimes it is the little things. A venue with a group of great teams, a cool bar staff and a fucking KICKASS sound system…a girl is easily pleased.

I subbed at Noonan’s and I was totally surprised at the level of coolness of this little Aurora spot. I had some preconceived notions about it being located at a golf course in a retirement community- and the “mature” fellow that was bitching about the type of music being played when I walked in was pretty much what I expected. But, he was out before the sun went down. And, thank the good lord Jeebus- because if he had stuck around through Round 7 we might have had to call an ambulance. My kind of quiz night.

My hecklers were polite (even got a kiss on the hand) – of course I killed them with kindness and a free pitcher of beer to limit the answer yelling.

JDL held on to 1^st place for most of the night- but after a Round 7 score average of 2.3 and everyone breaking out the unused Jokers on Round 8, it was Schwarma…? who took home a 1^st place prize.

Noonan's Tavern
13521 East Iliff Avenue
Aurora, CO 80014
Thursdays: 8:00 PM

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9:34 AM, May 04, 2012


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Scores

Slow Children Playing	75

1 Shot Killed 55	64

Gryffindor!	48

Brain!	48

I Came On Eileen	48

Pony Riders	44

Go! (For it)	42

Now and Zen	27

Brew Crew	7

You My Friend, Have Just Been Rick-Rolled!

Lagerhead

I thought it genius to include this absolutely terrible yet endearing song to our R2 collaboration of songs called "Roll With It" and I'm pretty sure it caught everyone by surprise. After hearing REO Speedwagon, RHCP and Joan Jett, all were going along, waiting to guess the next ditty with the word "roll" in it, then this drops. BOOM! You've just been rick-rolled! In college, some doucher that I still call a friend sent me a link, masking it as a site where he posted pics of a girl he brought home the night before. So of course, I gotta see this. I click the link and not only am I brought to Rick's infamous video "Never Gonna Give You Up," but the site will not let you X out of it, turn off the volume or change to a different site. That's some Lex Luthor shit right there! Only a computer re-boot could save my ears from beginning to bleed. But I digress. I....just wanna tell you how I'm feelin'. Gotta make you understand.

Things are looking up out at the golf course sports bar known as Noonan's. We are having lots of returning teams, more and more internet bonus questions submitted and some really good competition week to week. That trend continued last night with two teams vying for that top spot throughout the evening. Thanks to a 13 + joker on R2, an ace on R3 and another 13 on R8, Slow Children Playing secured the gold metal and won handily (winning handily kinda sounds like how you feel after an HJ). Nice job fellas - you killed it tonight. Behind them was 1 Shot Killed 55, who had 2nd by a landslide. Due to horrendous handwriting, I thought the team name was originally I Shot Killed SS. I'm like, who the fuck is SS and your sentence structure is terrible. Is SS Seau's real initials?, I mused to myself. You know, after the Seau story came out, it's sad that my first thought was oh man, what kind of pub quiz team names am I going to get this week? That's ain't bad, but Dick In A Box after the passing of Dick Clark is still the best. I'll keep that as my favorite until another surpasses it. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, Dick In A Box. And oh yeah, we had a cluster-fuck for third place with 3 teams all tying each other. After a bonus question, Brain! came out the big, little winner. Honorable mention to Gryffindor and I Came On Eileen.

Let's recap some other asinine answers written purely for blog glory, shall we? The pirate ship in The Goonies is named the Inferno, not the HMS Goonie or One Eyed Willy's ship. Oh, side note: you'll get a laugh amidst your friends if you see a large ship in the distance and then slowly say "oh....my....god." But you have to say it just like it's said at the end of the movie when the pirate ship emerges from that cave. It's a gasser, I promise. As long as they know the movie, that is. If they don't, why are you friends with them in the first place? I thought it funny that many teams thought Andrew Dice Clay hosted Cash Cab, ha! I think that would go something like this: "Welcome to Cash Cab, mother fuckers! Question fuckin 1. Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. That's more than my lazy wife does, that fat, fuckin' smelly baboon. For $50, where does that nursery rhyme originate from?" Ahh, profanity. Let's see....someone thought Lover Rollercoaster was sung by Chumbawumba, that the 6 Million Dollar Man's boss was Tony Stark, that the ex-French President was Pepe Le Pew and that a French author was Jacque Meoff. I know the answers are put there just to get a rise out of me or to hear your jokes on the mike. You know the rules, and so do I (so do I).

That's it for now. Keep it real, homies and thanks for playing. See you next time, quizzlings. I'm never gonna run around and desert you.

PS. You just got Rick-rolled again.

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