Quizzes by State

AK      AZ      CA      CO      CT      IA      ID      IL      IN      KS      LA      MA      ME      MI      MN      MO      NC      NE      NH      NJ      NM      NV      NY      OH      OK      OR      PA      TN      TX      UT      VA      WA      WI      

Quizzes by City

Select a City/State Near You     
Or, find a venue within of your zipcode:

Complete Quiz Schedule
 
For up-to-date schedule announcements and changes please follow GWDSchedulebot on Twitter.
 



The Harp Inn
130 E 17th St # A
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:07 AM, October 16, 2014
Scores
Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe 82

Ginger & a Fitstful of Bitches 81

Chuck Norris Eats Ebola for Breakfast 80

Kim Jong Un-Dead 78

Lady Boyz II Men 67

Is This Bar Pager Friendly? 64

Those Fucking People Over There 55

Super Awesome Badass Dudes & Kiara 55

I <3 U2 50

Eeeeebolaaaa 50

Resident Egon


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Bryan (Resident Egon)

Born on a mountaintop in NYC, crowdedest place in the land of the free. Moved cross the country just tryin' to see, come to California when he was only 3.

Bryan, Bryan the Quizmaster. Duke of the wild frontier. (I wouldn't want to be King...too many assassination atttempts)

III.

 

My office was cold and lonely, so I wandered down to Joe's Bar for some companionship and a drink or three. 

Four and twenty blackbirdsA dead DoctorThe Fat ManCock Robin... Heck, this case had more holes in it than a Swiss cheese and more loose ends than a torn string vest. And where did the juicy Miss Dumpty come into it? Jack and Jill - we'd make a great team. When this was all over perhaps we could go off together to Louie's little place on the hill, where no-one's interested in whether you got a marriage license or not. 'The Pail of Water', that was the name of the joint. 

I called over the bartender. "Hey. Joe." 

"Yeah, Mr. Horner?" He was polishing a glass with a rag that had seen better days as a shirt. 

"Did you ever meet the Fat Man's sister?" 

He scratched at his cheek. "Can't say as I did. His sister...huh? Hey -- the Fat Man didn't have a sister." 

"You sure of that?" 

"Sure I'm sure. It was the day my sister had her first kid - I told the Fat Man I was an uncle. He gave me this look and says, 'Ain't no way I'll ever be an uncle, Joe. Got no sisters or brother, nor no other kinfolk neither." 

If the mysterious Miss Dumpty wasn't his sister, who was she? 

"Tell me, Joe. Didja ever see him in here with a dame - about so high, shaped like this?" My hands described a couple of parabolas. "Looks like a blonde love goddess." 

He shook his head. "Never saw him with any dames. Recently he was hanging around with some medical guy, but the only thing he ever cared about was those crazy birds and animals of his." 

I took a swig of my drink. It nearly took the roof of my mouth off. "Animals? I thought he'd given all that up." 

"Naw - couple weeks back he was in here with a whole bunch of blackbirds he was training to sing 'Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before Mmm Mmm.'" 

"Mmm Mmm?" 

"Yeah. I got no idea who." 

I put my drink down. A little of it spilt on the counter, and watched it strip the paint. "Thanks, Joe. You've been a big help." I handed him a ten dollar bill. "For information received,' I said, adding, "Don't spend it all at once" 

In my profession it's making little jokes like that that keeps you sane, sometimes it's the contests. Like knowing you'll get a bonus point for your team if you come before me prior to starting next week, clear your throat prompting me to cue you, and offer the proper counter-code to "The seagull perches on the steeple in the rain".

* * *



I had one contact left. Ma Hubbard. I found a pay phone and called her number. 

"Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard - Cake Shop and licensed Soup Kitchen." 

"It's Horner, Ma." 

"Jack? It ain't safe for me to talk to you." 

"For old time's sake, sweetheart. You owe me a favour." Some two-bit crooks had once knocked off the Cupboard, leaving it bare. I'd tacked them down and returned the cakes and soup. 

"...Okay. But I don't like it." 

"You know everything that goes on around here on the food front, Ma. What's the significance of a pie with four and twenty trained blackbirds in it?" She whistled, long and low. "You really don't know?" 

"I wouldn't be asking you if I did." 

"You should read the Court pages of the papers next time, sugar. Jeez. You are out of your depth." 

"C'mon, Ma. Spill it." 

"It so happens that that particular dish was set before the King a few weeks back .... Jack? Are you still there?" 

"I'm still here ma'am." I said, quietly. " All of a sudden a lot of things are starting to make sense." I put down the phone. 

It was beginning to look like Little Jack Horner had pulled out a plum from this pie. 

It was raining, steady and cold. I phoned a cab. 

Quarter of an hour later one lurched out of the darkness. 

"You're late." 

"So complain to the tourist board." 

I climbed in the back, wound down the window, and lit a cigarette. 

And I went to see the Queen. 


 

My favorite Team Names Tonight:

  • Those Fucking People Over There
  • Chuck Norris Eats Ebola for Breakfast
  • Eeeeebolaaaaaa

BEST ROUNDS OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!

  • Round 1...you know it, I know it, total BS
  • Very very nice try going for those years, but with zero leeway, it was bound to be painful for everyone.
  • Admit it...you thought Round 3 was gonna be eight questions about implied homosexual couples in fiction: Bert & Ernie have a contentious relationship, much like Neil Simon's classic 'The Odd Couple', but with much gayer undertones. Was Bert the top, or the bottom?"
  • Round 6 belongs in The Simpsonian, framed and annotated.
    • Oh shit...speaking of Round 6 there was a bonus email question. You're on the list right? You signed up with me at quiz? 

 

So you totally saw the bonus point possibility laced in there, right? No? You just scrolled past Chapter 3 in the ongoing saga of a tenacious private dick and went right for the standings? The part that I read off last night before you left? And then handed out prizes? Well...now you want to go back and read some of it don't you? It's either that or take a swim in your giant money vault...

 

  • In 3rd - Chuck Norris Eats Ebola for Breakfast
  • In 2nd - Ginger & a Fistful of Bitches
  • And your victors in 1st - Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe

Check us out officially on the Facebooks behind the Orange Curtain!

Don't forget the all new first time ever Ghostbusters Quiz on Oct 25th at Complex in Glendale.

Sign up for the Email Mailing List! Get the Round 6 bonus question! Preview round for the upcoming night!

 

Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!

The Harp Inn
130 E 17th St # A
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
11:23 AM, October 09, 2014
Scores
Ginger's Got Some new Bitches 70

Teachers & Stephen Collins :: Touching Children Daily 67

Pacific Rim Job 64

We Wash Ourselves with a Rag on a Stick 62

Brunettes Have Less Fun 59

Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe 54

If You Had a Black Light, This Answer Sheet Would Look Like a Jackson Pollok Painting 42

Icy Hot 42

Resident Egon


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Bryan (Resident Egon)

Born on a mountaintop in NYC, crowdedest place in the land of the free. Moved cross the country just tryin' to see, come to California when he was only 3.

Bryan, Bryan the Quizmaster. Duke of the wild frontier. (I wouldn't want to be King...too many assassination atttempts)

II.

 

There are parts of town the tourist board don't mention. Parts of town where the police travel in threes if they travel at all. In my line of work you get to visit them more than is healthy. Healthy is never. 

He was waiting for me outside Luigi's. I slid up behind him, my rubber-soled shoes soundless on the shiny wet sidewalk. 

"Hiya, Cock" 

He jumped and spun around; I found myself gazing up into the muzzle of a .45. "Oh, Horner." He put the gun away. "Don't call me Cock. I'm Bernie Robin to you, Short-stuff, and don't you forget it." 

`Cock Robin is good enough for me, Cock. Who killed Humpty Dumpty?" 

He was a strange looking bird, but you can't be choosy in my profession. He was the best underworld lead I had. 

"Let's see the colour of your money." 

I showed him a fifty. 

"Hell," he muttered. "It's green. Why can't they make puce or mauve money for a change?" He took it though. "All I know is that the Fat Man had his finger in a lot of pies."

"So?" 

"One of those pies had four and twenty blackbirds in it." 

"Huh?" 

"Do I hafta spell it out for you? I... Ughh..." He crumpled to the sidewalk, an arrow protruding from his back. Cock Robin wasn't going to be doing any more chirping. 

____________


Sergeant O'Grady looked down at the body, then he looked down at me. "Faith and begorrah, to be sure" he said. "If it isn't Little Jack Horner himself." 

"I didn't kill Cock Robin, Sarge." 

"And I suppose that the call we got down at the station telling us you were going to be rubbing the late Mr. Robin out. Here. Tonight. Was just a hoax?" 

"If I'm the killer, where are my arrows?' I thumbed open a pack of gum and started to chew. "It's a frame." 

He puffed on his meerschaum and then put it away, and idly played a couple of phrases of the William Tell overture on his oboe. "Maybe. Maybe not. But you're still a suspect. Don't leave town. And Horner..." 

"Yeah?" 

"Dumpty's death was an accident. That's what the coroner said. That's what I say. Drop the case." 

I thought about it. Then I thought of the money, and the girl. "No dice, Sarge." 

He shrugged. "It's your funeral." He said it like it probably would be. 

I had a funny feeling like he could be right. 

"You're out of your depth, Horner. You're playing with the big boys. And it ain't healthy." 

From what I could remember of my schooldays he was correct. Whenever I played with the big boys I always wound up having the stuffing beaten out of me. But how did O'Grady - how could O'Grady have known that? Then I remembered something else. 

O'Grady was the one that used to beat me up the most. 

__________


It was time for what we in the profession call 'legwork'.I made a few discreet enquiries around town, but found out nothing about Dumpty that I didn't know already. 

Humpty Dumpty was a bad egg. I remembered him when he was new in town, a smart young animal trainer with a nice line in training mice to run up clocks. He went to the bad pretty fast though; gambling, drink, women, it's the same story all over. A bright young kid thinks that the streets of Nurseryland are paved with gold, and by the time he finds out otherwise it's much too late. 

Dumpty started off with extortions and robbery on a small scale - he trained up a team of spiders to scare little girls away from their curds and whey, which he'd pick up and sell on the black market. Then he moved onto blackmail -- the nastiest game. We crossed paths once, when I was hired by this young society kid - let's call him Georgie Porgie - to recover some compromising snaps of him kissing the girls and making them cry. I got the snaps, but I learned it wasn't healthy to mess with the Fat Man. And I don't make the same mistakes twice. Hell, in my line of work I can't afford to make the same mistakes once. 

It's a tough world out there. I remember when Little Bo Peep first came to town... but you don't want to hear my troubles. If you're not dead yet, you've got troubles of your own. 

I checked out the newspaper files on Dumpty's death. One minute he was sitting on a wall, the next he was in pieces at the bottom. All the King's Horses and all the King's Men were on the scene in minutes, but he needed more than first aid. A medic named Foster was called - a friend of Dumpty's from his Gloucester days - although I don't know of anything a doc can do when you're dead. 

Hang on a second - Dr. Foster! 

I got that old feeling you get in my line of work. Two little brain cells rub together the right way and in seconds you've got a 24 carat cerebral fire on your hands. 

You remember the client who didn't show - the one I'd waited for all day on the street corner? An accidental death. I hadn't bothered to check it out - I can't afford to waste time on clients who aren't going to pay for it. 

Three deaths, it seemed. Not one. 

I reached for the telephone and rang the police station. "This is Horner," I told the desk man. "Lemme speak to Sergeant O'Grady." 

There was a crackling and he came on the line. "O'Grady speaking." 

"It's Horner." 

"Hi, Little Jack." That was just like O'Grady. He'd been kidding me about my size since we were kids together. "You finally figured out that Dumpty's death was accidental?" 

"Nope. I'm now investigating three deaths. The Fat Man's, Bernie Robin's and Dr. Foster's." 

"Foster the plastic surgeon? His death was an accident." 

"Sure. And your mother was married to your father." 

There was a pause. "Horner, if you phoned me up just to talk dirty, I'm not amused." 

"Okay, wise guy. If Humpty Dumpty's death was an accident and so was Dr. Foster's, tell me just one thing. 

"Who killed Cock Robin?" I don't ever get accused of having too much imagination, but there's one thing I'd swear to. I could hear him grinning over the phone as he said : "You did, Horner. And I'm staking my badge on it." 

The line went dead. 

 

My favorite Team Names Tonight:

  • Pacific Rim Job (that's a seriously specialty build on that Jaeger)
  • Teachers & Stephen Collins :: Touching Children Daily

BEST ROUNDS OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!

  • Starting right off the bat Round 1 just took flight.
  • Bubble bubble toil & Round 3...and I love that while you knew bio facts, none of my quizlets pay enough attention to know who said what crazy shit with honest conviction.
  • Don't lose your head over Round 4, eh?
  • "Tonight, Round 6 is 'Hooligans!' all about violence...in Soccer!"
    "It's called futbol, you prick!"
    *ahem*..."Question 1...It's bad enough that we don't..." O.o
    • Oh shit...speaking of Round 6 there was a bonus email question. You're on the list right? You signed up with me at quiz? 

 

Check us out officially on the Facebooks behind the Orange Curtain!

Don't forget the all new first time ever Ghostbusters Quiz on Oct 25th at Complex in Glendale.

Sign up for the Email Mailing List! Get the Round 6 bonus question! Preview round for the upcoming night!

 

Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!

 

The Harp Inn
130 E 17th St # A
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
12:26 AM, October 02, 2014
Scores
Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Floor, Inc. 63

Lady Boyz II Men 62

Nailed It! 60

Don't Cross the Streams 60

Ginger Snapp II: The Red-venge 58

We Wash Ourselves with a Rag on a Stick 55

I'm Ron Burgundy 50

Two Docs & a Blonde 49

Everyone but Mike 39

Resident Egon


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
Bryan (Resident Egon)

Born on a mountaintop in NYC, crowdedest place in the land of the free. Moved cross the country just tryin' to see, come to California when he was only 3.

Bryan, Bryan the Quizmaster. Duke of the wild frontier. (I wouldn't want to be King...too many assassination atttempts)

I.

I sat in my office, nursing a glass of hooch and idly cleaning my automatic. Outside the rain fell steadily, like it seems to do most of the time in our fair city, whatever the tourist board says. Hell, I didn't care. I'm not on the tourist board. I'm a private dick, and one of the best, although you wouldn't have known it; the office was crumbling, the rent was unpaid and the hooch was my last. 


Things are tough all over. 

To cap it all the only client I'd had all week never showed up on the street corner where I'd waited for him. He said it was going to be a big job, but now I'd never know: he kept a prior appointment in the morgue. 

So when the dame walked into my office I was sure my luck had changed for the better. 

"What are you selling, lady?" 

She gave me a look that would have induced heavy breathing in a pumpkin, and which shot my heartbeat up to three figures. She had long blonde hair and a figure that would have made Thomas Aquinas forget his vows. I forgot all mine about never taking cases from dames. 

"What would you say to some of the green stuff?" she asked, in a husky voice, getting straight to the point. 

"Continue, sister." I didn't want her to know how bad I needed the dough, so I held my hand in front of my mouth; it doesn't help if a client sees you salivate. 

She opened her purse and flipped out a photograph. Glossy eight by ten. "Do you recognise that man?" 

In my business you know who people are. "Yeah." 

"He's dead." 

"I know that too, sweetheart. It's old news. It was an accident." 

Her gaze went so icy you could have chipped it into cubes and cooled a cocktail with it. "My brother's death was no accident." 

I raised an eyebrow - you need a lot of arcane skills in my business - and said "Your brother, eh?" Funny, she hadn't struck me as the type that had brothers. 

"I'm Jill Dumpty." 

"So your brother was Humpty Dumpty?" 

"And he didn't fall off that wall, Mr Horner. He was pushed." 

Interesting, if true. Dumpty had his finger in most of the crooked pies in town; I could think of five guys who would have preferred to see him dead than alive without trying. 

Without trying too hard, anyway. 

"You seen the cops about this?" 

"Nah. The King's Men aren't interested in anything to do with his death. They say they did all they could do in trying to put him together again after the fall." 

I leaned back in my chair. 

"So what's it to you. Why do you need me?" 

"I want you to find the killer, Mr. Horner. I want him brought to justice. I want him to fry like an egg. Oh - and one other little thing," she added, lightly. "Before he died Humpty had a small manila envelope full of photographs he was meant to be sending me. Medical photos. I'm a trainee nurse, and I need them to pass my finals." 

I inspected my nails, then looked up at her face, taking in a handful of waist and Easter-egg bazonkas on the way up. She was a looker, although her cute nose was a little on the shiny side. "I'll take the case. Seventy-five a day and two hundred bonus for results." 

She smiled; my stomach twisted around once and went into orbit. "You get another two hundred if you get me those photographs. I want to be a nurse real bad." Then she dropped three fifties on my desk-top. 

I let a devil-may-care grin play across my rugged face. "Say, sister, how about letting me take you out for dinner? I just came into some money." 

She gave an involuntary shiver of anticipation and muttered something about having a thing about midgets, so I knew I was onto a good thing. Then she gave me a lopsided smile that would have made Albert Einstein drop a decimal point. "First find my brother's killer, Mr. Horner. And my photographs. Then we can play." 

She closed the door behind her. Maybe it was still raining but I didn't notice. I didn't care. 

My favorite Team Names Tonight:

  • Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Floor, Inc. (I know it's stolen from South Park...still funny)
  • Everyone but Mike (judging by the scoring you really needed Mike)

BEST ROUNDS OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!

  • How easy was Round 1 actually? Elementary, my dear quizlets...
  • Fucking fuck school, right? Well that's what brings us to the correct answer to one of Round 3's most depressing questions
  • Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich
  • I'd be all about Round 6 but there's tv on and I'll be too tired come morning...
    • Oh shit...speaking of Round 6 there was a bonus email question. You're on the list right? You signed up with me at quiz? 

 

Check us out officially on the Facebooks behind the Orange Curtain!

Don't forget the all new first time ever Ghostbusters Quiz on Oct 25th at Beachfront301 in Huntington Beach!

Sign up for the Email Mailing List! Get the Round 6 bonus question! Preview round for the upcoming night!

 

Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!

 

« previous