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The Harp Inn
130 E 17th St # A
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
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12:04 AM, December 18, 2014
Scores
Jingle Bells, Egon Yells, Ginger Cuts her hair/Kyle's Whole team is about to scream/And Paul just doesn't care! 77

Merry Christmas! Shitter's Full! 74

We Suck at Team Names 56

Mr Huxtable is Innocent 53

Movie Night with Kim Jong-Un 51

Quizzed in my Pants 48

Resident Egon


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Bryan (Resident Egon)

Born on a mountaintop in NYC, crowdedest place in the land of the free. Moved cross the country just tryin' to see, come to California when he was only 3.

Bryan, Bryan the Quizmaster. Duke of the wild frontier. (I wouldn't want to be King...too many assassination atttempts)

GENESIS

God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.

Adam & Eve: Okay.

Satan: You should do the thing.

Adam & Eve: Okay.

God: What happened!?

Adam & Eve: We did the thing.

God: Guyssss

 

THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT

God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.

People: We won't do the things.

God: Good.

People: We did the things.

God: Guysssss

 

THE GOSPELS

Jesus: I am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore.

Healed people: Okay! Thank you!

Other people: We've never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking.

Jesus: I have never done the things.

Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things.

Pilate: Did you do the things?

Jesus: No.

Pilate: He didn't do the things.

Other people: Kill him anyway.

Pilate: Okay.

Jesus: Guyssssss

 

PAUL'S LETTERS

People: We did the things.

Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things.

People: Okay.

PAUL'S LETTERS PART II

People: We did the things again.

Paul: Guyssssss

 

REVELATION

John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.

THE END

 

BEST ROUNDS OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!

  • Such an organic set of answers in Round 2, eh?
  • Round 5. So beautiful, so simple, so complicated, so easy to get 0 points.
  • Round 6 was never in Skull & Bones.
    • Oh shit...speaking of Round 6 there was a bonus email question. You're on the list right? You signed up with me at quiz? 

Oi...enjoy your holidays, little ones. I'll see you next year! 

  • In 3rd - We Suck at Team Names
  • In 2nd - Merry Christmas! Shitter's Full!
  • And your victors in 1st - Jingle Bells, Egon Yells, Ginger Cuts her hair

                                     Kyle's Whole team is about to scream

                                     And Paul just doesn't care!

Check us out officially on the Facebooks behind the Orange Curtain!

Sign up for the Email Mailing List! Get the Round 6 bonus question! Preview round for the upcoming night!

 

Here's to being single...
Drinking doubles...
And seeing triple!

 

The Harp Inn
130 E 17th St # A
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:50 AM, December 11, 2014
Scores
Save a Steve?Choke a Chicken 74

I've Seen Your Tweets. You're Getting a Dictionary for Xmas. 70

Menorah the Explorah 64

Expats 61

My Vacation in Fergusion was a RIOT! 54

Menorahsaurus Rex 42

Quizzed in my Pants 39

Honourable in Disgrace 19

Alex 9

Resident Egon


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Bryan (Resident Egon)

Born on a mountaintop in NYC, crowdedest place in the land of the free. Moved cross the country just tryin' to see, come to California when he was only 3.

Bryan, Bryan the Quizmaster. Duke of the wild frontier. (I wouldn't want to be King...too many assassination atttempts)

Coconut oil changed my life, and also my genetic coding.

I had heard that coconut oil was a natural wonder, and I’m all for anything that doesn’t contain gluten, but I couldn’t have known how big an impact this little oil would have on me.

One night, while simultaneously drinking and bathing in a vat of coconut oil, I opened my eyes. What do you think happened? Coconut oil got in my eyes? Yes. Was it extremely painful? Yes, again. Did it also make my vision superhuman? You nailed it.

Within seconds, I was able to see three galaxies away to a planet named Gå4n! That is very, very far from Long Beach. A few dabs of coconut oil in my ears and I could hear the ghosts of all my ancestors. “You’re fabulous,” they whispered. “The triumph of our bloodline.”

Can you believe that I got this stuff at Trader Joe’s?

When I finally climbed out of the vat, it barely came as a surprise that my sense of time was no longer linear. I could see the past and the future as clearly as the present. And the immediate future looked grim, friends. There I was, a few weeks older, and—I hate to admit this—on a bad date.

Fortunately, my powers were still growing, and I was developing a beta form of completely organic, sulfate-free mind control. So I stepped forward in time, and implanted the idea in that gal's mind to swipe right on my Tindr profile. 

After saving my own life, I wanted to save someone else’s. So I stopped at a nearby children’s hospital and cured every child with a dropperful of coconut oil. It was so nice and so easy; I’m confused why people don’t do this more often. Probably because of Monsanto.

Wanting to get just a little bit more out of the coconut oil that was now swimming through my synaptic gaps, I thought, Hey, why not inject this like heroin? I’m no stranger to the dragon, but that addiction has been cured—with heaping spoonfuls of coconut oil, of course. So into my veins the oil went.

Within seconds, I mind-melded with every being in the multiverse. I am everyone and everything, and my power and ability go beyond anything you know. I am the spoon. No, that’s absurd—I am the biodegradable spoon.

Now, as my atoms float through the galaxy, I ponder existence with the knowledge of all that’s ever been, and consider the benefits I’ve received from going natural. Life can be so amazing when you aren’t restricted by advertisers, big business, or physics. All in all, I highly recommend buying a jar of coconut oil and getting all these benefits for yourself.

Don’t put that shit on your face, though, ’cause you’ll break out like crazy, yo.

 

BEST ROUNDS OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!

  • So much terrible terrible things in this world and so much terrible terrible things crammed into last week. Thank god for the wondrous reminders in Round1.
  • Maybe next time you need a clue like Round 3 in Death.
  • We'll get to Round 6 however we have to get there.?
    • Oh shit...speaking of Round 6 there was a bonus email question. You're on the list right? You signed up with me at quiz? 

One more quiz to go before our holiday break. Xmas, NY, and all those amazing times of year when you either sit with family or get drunk as fuck. See you next week as we ring out 2014 in Harp style!

 

  • In 3rd - Menorah the Explorah
  • In 2nd - I've Seen Your Tweets. You're Getting  Dictionary for Xmas
  • And your victors in 1st - Save a Steve...Choke a Chicken

Check us out officially on the Facebooks behind the Orange Curtain!

Sign up for the Email Mailing List! Get the Round 6 bonus question! Preview round for the upcoming night!

 

Here's to being single...
Drinking doubles...
And seeing triple!

 

The Harp Inn
130 E 17th St # A
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
11:34 PM, December 03, 2014
Scores
China's Just No Pun Anymore 82

Guy Fieri Presents: Just the Frosted Tip 73

The New Storm Trooper is Django Fett Unchained 72

Nailed It! 60

Dazed & Confused 35

Resident Egon


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Quiz Schedule
Bryan (Resident Egon)

Born on a mountaintop in NYC, crowdedest place in the land of the free. Moved cross the country just tryin' to see, come to California when he was only 3.

Bryan, Bryan the Quizmaster. Duke of the wild frontier. (I wouldn't want to be King...too many assassination atttempts)

We can't go on the island.

A few have tried, but they always fall. Some turn to dust in a few hours, others go mad and join the crazy Indians in the fire pits to the North. More than a few heads have been turned by the creatures in the mermaids lagoon, where ecstasy soon leads to clawed hands and wicked teeth, and your final moments are of the light slowly turning to darkness beneath the waves.

And then there is him. Pan.

A god they say, kept young by taking the lives of those who follow him. He promises them immortality and whimsy, but joyful dances lead to merry accidents. They are never strong enough for Pan, never able to last as they must. They cannot dance and sing and feast and laugh without end, and they never will.

I've never once seen him mourn the lost ones, never seen him cry over the child that fell into a mangled mess during one of his 'games'. Never once have I seen him hold the hair of a vomiting child, unable to handle a diet of sweets and sugar without tearing stomach lining. Nobody could survive a childhood run by children.

No, he does not mourn, he simply finds fresh whimsy, fresh souls on which to dine.

They are children being held to the yardstick of a god, and they fall, every one.

And then there is him. Hook. He was the first of us.

I don't think anyone knows how long he has been here, for all I know he really was a pirate, but I know he is old. Not as old as Pan of course, no that thing is ancient, but it's certainly been hundreds of years. He grounds us. His will is indomitable, his fury calculated and his heart enormous. He was the first of us, and he is the best.

We are all men of the sea, or were once. I fought in what is known as the second world war, and I'm one of the newer ones. I served in the Royal Navy, I was proud then, but when I heard my Tony had gone missing, it consumed me. My little Ant, just gone, with nothing more than an open window and a discarded Ted. The same Ted I gave him as I left to fight for his future. I don't know how, but I just knew he was gone, and with it my whole reason.

My mind was clean as I leapt from that ship into the cold English Channel, clean and fresh, and there was no regret. I woke up here, saved by Hook as I watched my little Ant gloat around the island, mocking us. My grin almost split my face when I saw him, but he didn't recognise me, he was... different. I was happy then, happy that he was happy. Before long however he stopped being among the ones who flew, he was just... lost.

The others told me then, of Pan and how it works here. How every 20 children or so they will find a man half drowned in the water, clinging onto their spirit, never letting go, never giving up. The children become lost, but we remain, like guardians of a fallen kingdom.

So here we sit, moored against this island by an unearthly desire to avenge our boys. They are our lost boys, and we will not forget, and we will not forgive. Here we sit with stubbled chins and sharpened swords, working out ways to kill a god.

They are our children being held to the yardstick of a god, and he will fall, for every one.

 


 

Then...they came from dust.

Like swirling maelstroms of malice they plucked themselves from nothing and fell upon the cliffs, scrambling over rocks with glee in their eyes and daggers in their hands.

They whooped and hollered as they sped up the gangplank to the tune of our hollering lookout, and a quickly assembled defence.

It was a fast and bloody affair. They stole like whippets about our lumbering frames, nipping and tearing at tired old muscles driven by minds not willing to nip back. Through every cut and knick the eyes of my fellows saw children playing; boys about the adventure of youth.

But we were bigger and we were stronger, and old minds don't forget that strength can be gentle, that an oak tree can father fledglings. We grabbed those boys, and for every dagger thrown overboard, every child brought to tears by the hugs of pirates, they left, and were dust once more. Even lost boys can be found.

Some of us lay bleeding then, as eyes turned upwards to another battle high above us in the rigging, the real battle.

Hook and Pan, falling upon each other like the tides of two great opposing oceans, washing over each other with ripostes and parries, a swirling mess of metal and flesh that seemed to dance for time eternal.

I saw it then, and I understood. Pan's eyes widened as the blade crept closer to his neck, before his reflexive jump backwards landed him out of its reach. I saw a god show fear.

Hook's blade sang with every swipe, growled as his massive frame swung it about with mad abandon. It was the sword. I don't know what magic might have lain inside, but I felt the call of all those fathers who couldn't make the journey, all the guardians who couldn't make the trip. The anguished lent him their strength, and it let him stand with the gods.

But gods are not gods without power, and this one was ruthless with. After a simple stumble, a little mistake, Pan's dagger met Hooks heart, and the frame of my captain fell with our hopes, bouncing off a ladder with a sickening crack into the abyss, his sword nowhere to be seen.

He came upon us then, we who had cost him his latest catch. Without Hook we were nothing, ants to be exterminated, and as my fellows dropped into the ocean the crocodiles did as they must, and the sea turned to rust.

By chance I happened to catch the edge of a dangling rope, and as I hung on for grim death, I watched the eyes of my fellows as they were poured into the sea like waste water. To a man.

I waited there for a time, waited as he hollered and whooped about his victory, waited as the crocodiles thrashed and boiled beneath me in a frenzy of death and screams, waited as a victorious god crowed above.

With night came quiet, and I slipped aboard the tomb of my existence. I checked the ship, but there was not a soul to be found.

I climbed the deck, as I had done before, and stared down into the waiting waters. My mind was fresh, my mind was clear. I turned to hoist my leg over the railing, ready to end what life I was in, ready to see if I could find my Ant in whatever waited beyond, when it caught my eye.

The moonlight glistened on something, a small shimmer, but enough. I walked across, limping as my leg started to burn with fever, and my hand starting to ache with some internal injury. Hook's sword lay nestled along with his hat, just behind the wheel.

I picked them up, and decided to do then what must be done.

So here I sit, waiting for others to come, as I know they will. Here I sit, riding on the shoulders of giants who showed me the way to make a god fear. It would be different next time, or maybe it wouldn't, but I would try. I would try for them, for my lost boys, for Ant.

I will not forgive, and I will not forget. I am he. I am Hook.

 

BEST ROUNDS OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!

  • Fuck fuck fuck. Mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck, mother fuck mother fuck Round Round 3
  • Bro...do you even Round 4?
  • Round 6 really bit...right?
    • Oh shit...speaking of Round 6 there was a bonus email question. You're on the list right? You signed up with me at quiz? 

It's the start of our final stretch of quizzy madness for 2014! Only a few more weeks til Xmas, and NY, and all that fun shit. So keep joining us week to week for proper geek-filled Harp Holiday Madness!!!

 

  • In 3rd - The New Storm Tropper is Django Fett Unchained
  • In 2nd - Guy Fieri Presents: Just the Frosted Tip
  • And your victors in 1st - China's Just No Pun Anymore

Check us out officially on the Facebooks behind the Orange Curtain!

Sign up for the Email Mailing List! Get the Round 6 bonus question! Preview round for the upcoming night!

 

Here's to being single...
Drinking doubles...
And seeing triple!

 

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