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The Stone Church
5 Granite Street
Newmarket, NH 03857
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
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9:56 PM, July 16, 2014
Scores
Pizza Blunt 76

So Hard after I Get Dogfish Head 73

HashtagTalkMoneyGetBitches 70

Will You Please Shit on My Chest 66

4 Honeypots, 0 Communists 66

Sylvia Plastered 65

The Blumpkin Bumpkins 64

No Wet Blankets on this Team 61

Shit White People Say 61

Jurrasic Percolator 57

Squid Squad 47

Our Baby is Better Than Your Baby 36

The Dump-Lings 22

Quizler


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Quiz Schedule
Wednesday 7pm-9pm The Stone Church, Newmarket, NH
Sarah (Quizler)

College teacher by day, Pub Quiz Queen by night.  I love puns and portmanteaus and team names that include my name.  Some say people hate hearing the sound of their own voice but it seems that may not be true for me.

My quiz night includes song requests, dancing, and if you're good, chugging contests.

NH is my childhood homestate and after trying several other places, including San Diego, and South Korea, I came back to the 'Shire.  Help me figure out why!  

Maybe you want my credentials? BA in English from PSU, MA in Linguistics from SDSU.  Does that mean I love to party?  More like, I love to be the smartest person in the room full of party school people.  It hasn't happened yet.

Even though I'm a linguist, I'm not the most cunning. My quiz teammates always had to guess the answers I "knew" from random clues I'd give them.  There was a lot of "ya know?  the guy with the hair?" going on.  Suprisingly, this method led us to victory on many happy occasions.

When you come out to the Stone Church for quiz night, chat me up!

Hey there. We had a good crowd tonight and quite a charismatic beer pusher. Dogfish Head is good beer though. Did you guys get any good swag? Congrats to Pizza Blunt for having such an appetizing name and for winning all night. They even got a case of enormous beers. So Hard for Dogfish Head maybe shoulda won those beers for the shout out though. Let’s talk about some quiz stuff.

Round 1: Let’s talk about Working Girl, one of Harrison Ford’s best movies. My favorite line is a toss-up between “I took an antihistamine” and, “Is it made of leather?” Also the title is so great and misleading. Have you ever read one of the greatest teen books of our time, “Angus Thongs and Full-frontal Snogging”? Yeah? Remember how Georgia calls a zit a “lurker?” I love it. That bonus question - I heard that song, “Istanbul or Constantinople” on the radio last week and started crying because I miss “Bunheads” so much. True story. Surprisingly, No Wet Blankets on This Team were the only ones to guess Matt Damon as the South African prime minister.

Round 2: Have you ever met a serious Bobby McFerrin fan? They’re all like, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” was trash and he’s really a great artist. Sorry Bobby but you’re a one-hit wonder and it’s wonderful. You guys did a great job on this round. Shoulda jokered.

Round 3: Why do pop stars keep trying to make alien songs happen? N’Sync had “Space Cowboy” and this Katy Perry song, “E.T.” actually became a radio hit. I guess Kanye helped, but still, why? The Blumkin Bumpkins wrote Will.I.Am Will.Is.Me, which is pretty weird.

Round 4: Funny that we had a “So You Think You Can Dance” question since we all missed it to be together. So far this season there doesn’t seem to be any clear winners yet. The last couple seasons I felt like I could tell who would win. I mean clearly Melanie was the beast, and then the ballet dancers were far above the others, and last year we had the most adorable hip hopper ever. Maybe next year we can start voting for choreographers.

Round 5: “It’s Warren!” Yay for a little Empire Records action. We used to have Rex Manning day in high school. Let’s bring that back. Who’s got a button maker?

Round 6: I don’t really know anything about dinosaurs so I don’t have much to tell you. I remember seeing Jurassic Park and loving it, but all I remember is when Newman got eaten on the toilet. I also visited the place in Hawaii where they filmed some of it. I do know a little about Shakira. Her songs come in two languages, which seems unnecessary because the Spanish versions are quite great. I’m not sure which song is the best but “Loba” is probably the answer.

Round 7: I’m having “Cosmos” withdrawal. Must learn science. Best answer goes to Squid Squad (squibby squabby!) for Louis C.K. instead of Mr. Wizard.

Round 8: Remember when we thought Twilight would never go away? It’s been replaced but not by anything as annoying or misogynistic. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s terrible. Like Sexual Chocolate, “good ’n terrible.” Now we just have to wait for Frozen to go away and we can all live in peace again. Drake didn’t help with his Manny version of “Let it Go” on the ESPYs. Were we as annoying as kids today when we sang “Colors of the Wind?” There’s no way, right?

Thanks for coming out and suffering through a bunch of Sarah songs. I’ll see you next week and you’ll have to let me know if I look different.

Yours for now, Quizler

The Stone Church
5 Granite Street
Newmarket, NH 03857
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
8:41 PM, July 09, 2014
Scores
Refurbished Iron Lung 83

So Hard for Sarah 81

Long Distance Blowjobs 80

Poland Should've told Brazil What Happens When You Get in Germany's Way 73

Cake and Blowjobs, Not for Chris 72

English Muffins 67

Chris Hanson is a Cock Block 62

Feel the Rhythm, Feel the Rhyme, Get on Up, it's Handjob Time 61

John Milton-Bradley 61

Pilpobo Dildodos 59

Stone Church Newbies 58

Better Than Burns 56

My Balls in Your Goal: The Glory of Brazil 55

Tequila Mockingbird 41

Drinkers and Thinkers 40

Questionable Stains 34

ME 13

Quizler


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday 7pm-9pm The Stone Church, Newmarket, NH
Sarah (Quizler)

College teacher by day, Pub Quiz Queen by night.  I love puns and portmanteaus and team names that include my name.  Some say people hate hearing the sound of their own voice but it seems that may not be true for me.

My quiz night includes song requests, dancing, and if you're good, chugging contests.

NH is my childhood homestate and after trying several other places, including San Diego, and South Korea, I came back to the 'Shire.  Help me figure out why!  

Maybe you want my credentials? BA in English from PSU, MA in Linguistics from SDSU.  Does that mean I love to party?  More like, I love to be the smartest person in the room full of party school people.  It hasn't happened yet.

Even though I'm a linguist, I'm not the most cunning. My quiz teammates always had to guess the answers I "knew" from random clues I'd give them.  There was a lot of "ya know?  the guy with the hair?" going on.  Suprisingly, this method led us to victory on many happy occasions.

When you come out to the Stone Church for quiz night, chat me up!

What a night! You guys better be drunk because there was a lot of free beer going around. It always surprises me how few people pass up the chance to dance on stage even with the added bonus of a prize.  Props to those of you who did, especially Jack, who lead the charge. We had a nice sized group tonight and an odd team name theme that seemingly came out of nowhere. Our winners of the night were So Hard for Sarah, who know how to pander, and Tequila Mockingbird, who know how to mix high and low. I took my sweet time scoring and ran out of summer themed songs pretty quickly, but somehow forgot to play “Cruel Summer.” Why, G-d, why? Missed opportunity. And now let’s talk about my opinions.

Round 1: The Great Outdoors is cannon. The bear, the steak, the lightning guy, the girl at the dock. It makes Grown Ups look like amateur hour. Well, Grown Ups does that on its own I guess. Oh, Adam Sandler, you’ve fallen so far.

Round 2: Thanks for singing, everyone! Not only did you all sing “Happy Birthday” to Chris (thanks for the cake!) but you also sang some of the titles for me. Was it because you were trying to drown out my voice? Either way I loved it, and keep it up.

Round 3: I have always said that “Hey Jude” should be mandatory for every wedding where step children are made (you know what I mean). It must’ve been weird for John to play it knowing that Paul was being a better dad to John’s kid. It’s a damn good song anyway. And it just kills it in The Royal Tenenbaums. That movie has a perfect soundtrack but that version of “Hey Jude” brings a new dimension to the song.

Round 4: Woohoo, Padres! Petco is my favorite stadium to see games so far and I’m excited to hear the Padres are leading the path to safety in sports. CTE is so serious that it has stopped me from watching football, which I loved. That special on PBS opened my eyes to just how bad it is. The argument I keep hearing is “football players make millions of dollars so who cares?” but you don’t have to be a pro to get CTE. More and more college players are getting it and there are teens and younger already showing signs, and some dying. The helmets are so poorly made that your football playing kids may already be doomed before they’re 18. Remember another time when Americans knew something was bad but didn’t want to do anything about it? Remember how you ranted about how if you were there you would have done something? No? You don’t care? Ok moving on.

Round 5: You guys, “Smallville” is one of my all-time favorite shows. One of the best things about it was how it was such a good looking show. Clark is an extreme hottie and Lana is one of the most beautiful people in the world (and the reason I watch “Beauty and the Beast” now). In addition, a lot of the minor characters looked like they were saved from doing porn; it was an altruistic show in that way. Back when I was watching it in real time I only missed one episode once to go to a Matisyahu concert. 

Round 6: Wow, Johnny Depp has not done too bad. Of course, some recent movies were pretty damn bad but he has a lot of good in his past. The best is probably Edward Scissorhands. It’s so good that I don’t even care that Winona Ryder is in it, and I don’t like her at all. Have you ever had an orgasmic haircut like those women? And the topiaries! Recently I saw a house with a dinosaur topiary out front and a giant tortoise living next to it. Just rad.

Round 8: Oh look, Big Daddy made it. One of the better Sandler movies. I still like to say, “hip, hip hop, hip hop anonymous?” the way the homeless person says hippopotamus.

July has been nice and hot so far and it’s just starting. Tune in next week for Sarah themed songs in honor of me.

Yours for now, Quizler

The Stone Church
5 Granite Street
Newmarket, NH 03857
Wednesdays: 7:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:28 PM, July 02, 2014
Scores
Multiplayer Mode 78

Bell Silverbling 76

The Waysiders in: Tongue Punch the Fart Box 75

Menopositivity: Cougars do it Better 73

Fecal Coliform 68

Trivial Skills 64

50 Shades of Earl Grey 62

Walking Talking Stephen Hawkings 62

The Gang's All Here 56

Jessie's Flip Flops 55

Married, Not Dead 50

Woodside 47

Kaiti 24

Quizler


Web

Quiz Schedule
Wednesday 7pm-9pm The Stone Church, Newmarket, NH
Sarah (Quizler)

College teacher by day, Pub Quiz Queen by night.  I love puns and portmanteaus and team names that include my name.  Some say people hate hearing the sound of their own voice but it seems that may not be true for me.

My quiz night includes song requests, dancing, and if you're good, chugging contests.

NH is my childhood homestate and after trying several other places, including San Diego, and South Korea, I came back to the 'Shire.  Help me figure out why!  

Maybe you want my credentials? BA in English from PSU, MA in Linguistics from SDSU.  Does that mean I love to party?  More like, I love to be the smartest person in the room full of party school people.  It hasn't happened yet.

Even though I'm a linguist, I'm not the most cunning. My quiz teammates always had to guess the answers I "knew" from random clues I'd give them.  There was a lot of "ya know?  the guy with the hair?" going on.  Suprisingly, this method led us to victory on many happy occasions.

When you come out to the Stone Church for quiz night, chat me up!

Hey gang. Thanks for coming out in this heat and flash flood weather. The Stone Church felt great, though. We had some interesting team names tonight and somehow none of them seemed topical. I guess we’re over the World Cup and the news just isn’t exciting enough. Next week I’d appreciate some “So You Think You Can Dance” names at least. Let’s talk about the quiz.

Round 1: I went to Italy during a spring break and when I arrived it was like 9am but we were exhausted from the time change. Instead of sleeping we went immediately to see The David, which was on some random side street in Florence. Italy is a magical place. Also if memory serves, I think when I was a kid I wrote a song about King David to the tune of “Jeremiah was a Bullfrog.” 

Round 2: Bob Marley in this one. I was driving through Malibu once and ended up by a video shoot for Ziggy Marley. It was surreal with him basically directing traffic himself, and people getting high right there on the beach. I’ll never forget my friend saying to me, “that’s Reggae Royalty!” Malibu is a magical place.

Round 3: I read an article by a fat reporter who complained about Chris Christie getting knocked for his weight constantly. It really struck a chord with me. I’m all for voting for someone handsome but somehow I’m against voting against someone who’s not. If he was some fat king starving his people that would be one thing, but I’m pretty sure the people of New Jersey have enough money for their hair extensions.

Round 4: I’m sorry to rant on you about Jewish holidays but remember this for the future: Yom Kippur is the miserable one where people fast and confess all their sins like they’re stuck on one of the 12 steps; Passover is the miserable one where the carbs are all unsatisfying but just as fattening, and usually there’s constipation involved; Chanukah is the fun one with fried food, lots of fire, chocolate, and gifts. Also, for some reason I can’t go over how so many of you thought margarine used to come from pigs or goats. Goat butter sounds delicious but pig butter sounds horriifying.

Round 6: It still depresses me that TLC is supposed to stand for “The Learning Channel.” Why, Bob Marley, Why? Not as surprising as how many of you believe the Pope is giving out reefer sacraments in Vatican City. Too bad for The Waysiders, who put NSA and were just one letter away from the correct NASA. And good for Woodside, who were the only ones to write “Plus Eight” as John and Kate’s last name. I thought for sure we’d have more of those.

Round 7: Good work on this one. I think it went pretty well. Menopositivity guessed “Gummi Bears” for one of them and now I’ll never get that song out of my head. How could you have misheard such an iconic theme song?

Round 8: Props to Fecal Coliforms, who got all 4 of the neutral nancies. They also though Brad Pit starred in 12th Night and now I want to see that version. Who would he star with? Himself in a dress? Maybe Tilde Swinton. Never mind, we don’t need Brad; Tilde can do the whole thing.

Well thanks for listening. Enjoy your birthday party, America. Have some cake and eat it too. 

Yours for now, Quizler

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