Geeks Who Drink - Jack's Pub & Grill

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Jack's Pub & Grill
3901 Northeast 4th St # 105
Renton, WA 98056
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2:41 PM, January 03, 2013


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Murder Couch	54

Last Night was a First

Rooster

So we had one team last night. That didn't mean we couldn't have a fucking party, right? RIGHT? FUCKING RIGHT!

Murder Couch is legit. These motherfuckers told me straight up "There will be quiz tonight". I said "But you guys are the only team and the bar manager wants to just cancel quiz", but Murder Couch said "we don't play this shit for prizes, we play because we're Ballerz". They said that shit with a z too, no joke. So we sat in a booth and they played. They crouched over and listened to my tiny little laptop speaker for the audio rounds. They played every free beer round, and they made sure I gave them the quiz experience.

I love you guys more than words could ever express. In the darkest days of quiz, you are there for me.

Until we meet again Motherfuckers.

Jack's Pub & Grill
3901 Northeast 4th St # 105
Renton, WA 98056
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1:08 PM, December 27, 2012


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Rentons Finest	46

Richard Shermanators	45

Walker Girls	38

Liquor Platter	8

Boxing Day Casualties

Laffin Larry

         These are the nights that try quizmasters souls. Following the vast bacchanalia that the mysterious natives of the Renton highlands traditionally engage in following Seahawks victories (as well as Christmas, kwanzaa, Hannukah, Saturnalia, Festivus, Hogswatch, etc.,) only a handful of brave quizzers were able to rouse themselves from their terrifying hangovers and dared to climb the plateau into the fearsome Renton highlands towards the wonderful Jacks Pub and Grill. Once again I was called from my place of hibernation under the Fremont Bridge to help out a fellow quizmaster in need. A few hardy teams showed last night among them long-time veterans Renton's Finest and the Walker Girls. The rest were no doubt were still coming down from wretched excesses of Christmas-Boxing Day etc. and the fierce but beautiful hangover from Sunday nights Seahawks game. This group was well represented by the newly christened "the Richard Shermanators" team, after Sherman's runback of a field goal attempt by the 49ers for a touchdown, granting him immediate status as a local folk-hero. In the Commonwealth nations, they call this day Boxing Day, but most of the knockouts seem to happen while binging the day before and are followed by slow recovery throughout the next 2 days.

      Best answers of the night: Rumours of his death have been greatly exagerated. Despite the fact that the question said explicitly that the movie star had DIED of Aids, Tom Hanks was put forward in place of the late screen idol Rock Hudson. Apparently somebody saw the movie Philadelphia and thought it was real. Or maybe they just believed he died such a noble death at the end of Saving Private Ryan, the scriptwriters would never bring him back (or they found Forrest Gump so annoying they just wished him dead.) Just like Elvis, he still lives (we all know the King just went back to his home planet, check the hot sheets from Men in Black.) Also, Wolf Blitzer does not host Blitz Attack, which sounds like a video game recreating the Battle of the Ardennes Forest. Nor does he host Wolfman Jack's Power Hour, (didn't every late night college radio DJ dream of being Wolfman Jack someday? Man, I miss the Wolfman.) And in a hilarious bit of miscasting, Benedict Cumberbatch did not play Marie Antoinette, (though that would be perfectly alright if he did.)

       Final Standings were close as Renton's Finest lived up to their name with 46 points and the Richard Shermanators came in 2nd with 45, followed by the lovely Walker Girls with 38. Noticeably absent were 3 other veteran teams who can only be considered casualties of too much holiday cheer. As all of Jack's aficianado's eagerly await the return of quizmaster Russell from his ailment (no, he was not in bed with a minor. It was a minor condition, you putz. This isn't bangkok, ya know.) I returned home strangely comforted by the fact that Hogmanay (Scottish New Years) was only days away and we could all look forward to repeating this hilarity next week. Cheers.

Jack's Pub & Grill
3901 Northeast 4th St # 105
Renton, WA 98056
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1:24 PM, December 20, 2012


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Designated Drinker	63

Rentons Finest	49

Renton Indians	45

Bleu Cheese Please	43

Hood Reindeer and Gangsta Santa	41

Drunk Metalheads	41

Mom and Dad	23

Princess Smiley Face	17

They saw Elvis! Yes they did!

Laffin Larry

With the abscence of our beloved quizmaster, Russell, I was called to arms from my place of hibernation beneath the Fremont bridge to rescue a fellow quizmaster in need. Once more I ventured forth into I-405's "heart of darkness" commute, headed towards the forbidding Renton highlands where even the boldest of northside wiseasses fear to tread. Home to multiple sightings of Elvis and Bigfoot (we call him Biggy F round here, children) I was fortunate to meet several itinerent preachers of the Church of Elvis who informed me that Biggy had retreated east to Mt. Rainier and all those stories about disappearances and strange rituals up in the Highlands were just tales told around campfires by our northside scoutmasters (are they made from real Girl Scouts?) No real mayhem had occured since the 80's when my own pack, (Bad News Bears troop 666) visited the area. Ah, those carefree days of youth. Remember, troopers, what happens at camp stays at camp.

   There was of course no truth to the rumour that our beloved quizmaster Russell had gone on a "love tourism cruise of Bangkok" (for shame, y'all. Think of the children. No, wait a minute. let me rephrase that...) Similiarly, he did not wake up in Vegas to find himself firmly ensconsed as the owner of the local bunny ranch franchise. Nor was Mike Tyson's tiger found lurking in his bathroom. And once again I must dispell the rumours of human sacrifice on Cougar Mountain. Russell was definitely not taken by cannibals and he certainly wouldn't be anybody's main course. Honestly, the things you guys think of.

    The night's quiz was enlivened by the presence of several long-time Jack's veteran teams including Renton's Finest, Drunk Metalheads, the newly renamed Renton Indians (after a longtime Renton minor-league baseball team), as well as Hood Reindeer and Gangsta Santa, Bleu Cheese Please, Designated Drinkers (vital to every party!) Princess Smiley Face, and of course, the heartwarmingly named Mom and Dad. In the final standings for once Renton's Finest were dethroned as Designated Drinkers pulled out to an early lead and never looked back, leading the pack with 63 points. Renton's Finest placed with 49 and the longtime veterans the Renton Indians came in 3rd with 45.

    Good tidings reached us at the end of the quiz from those multi-harmonic clergymen, the missionaries of the Church of Elvis (thenk yoo, veri mush!) who found Russell deep in the Highlands muttering about a Colonel Kurtz and Oh, the horror, the horror... Russell is recovering nicely from his undisclosed ailments (No! Not those kind of ailments!) and will return soon to our beloved Jacks's grill. With order restored I returned to my post beneath the Fremont Bridge secure in the knowledge that the King was looking out for him.

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