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Bacon 900 W 10th St Austin, TX 78703 Wednesdays: 7:00 PM |
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The BACON quiz experienced a good old Southern Baptist tent revival last night. We took in your weary, your hungry, your questioning of faith and sent them home with a healthy dose of fire under their asses. Several new teams showed up, we had a wealth of hilariously wrong guesses to some of our questions and we debuted a new game we'll be playing each month - more on that later.
I want to offer a "y'all come back now, hear?" to newcomers Newbies, Conquest, It's Not a Race and VAN. I have full faith that any one of you new teams could have pulled off a winning score if you had been there from the beginning of the quiz. Y'all were feisty. Besides all the new faces, other highlights of the quiz included the following:
If I Work Out, Will My Muscle Come Back?'s failure to recognize "Get Back" as a Beatles song - he wrote "Foghat" instead.
Winning team We Are the Band of Neon Wolves scored a perfect eight on Round Four, which just so happened to be a round on euphemisms for the less generously-sized peens out there. Three dudes on that team. Very familiar with gherkins, baby carrots and the exact volume limit of those little bottles you're allowed to bring on an airplane.
The first new addition to the BACON quiz: a collaborative Spotify playlist that allows our quizzers to add the songs they'd like to hear. Or, you know, a great way for the regulars to fuck with the quizmaster. The playlist can be found here - go nuts.
And the second brand-spankin'-new feature of our little Wednesday night nerd-orgy: a little game I've dubbed Call Kavi's Friends. Lest we burn out on it too fast, we're only doing this once a month, but here's how it works: Quizzers can put their names in the proverbial hat via our Facebook page, and on the third Wedneday of every month, I'll draw one name. That lucky winner has a shot at our last free beer of the night (plus maybe some other cool shit if I can come up with anything good by next month) if they can pull off the task set before them. He or she, using their own phone, calls a number of my choosing that belongs to one of my family members, a friend or - and these I'm really looking forward to - an ex-lover. Our competitor must keep this person on the phone for two minutes without mentioning my name or Geeks Who Drink or posing as any kind of telemarketer/surveyor. Should my unknowing acquaintance refuse to answer the phone, our quizzer must leave a voice mail of at least one minute's duration. If voice mail is weird enough that the friend/parent/ex-lover mentions the voice mail on his or her social media outlets within the next 24 hours, the quizzer also wins a prize. Huge thanks to Chris of Bacon Bacon Bacon and the BACON waitstaff for being my guinea pig. He didn't quite hit the two-minute mark, but his valiant effort foreshadowed many good times to come.
Thanks for renewing my faith in humanity each and every week. See y'all next time.
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Bacon 900 W 10th St Austin, TX 78703 Wednesdays: 7:00 PM |
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With all the gay events happening this past week, as memorialized by the name of our first-place team, Shit Got Real Gay, Real Quick, I just want to remind everyone that the BACON quiz was homo before homo was newsworthy. Aside from all that, other popular topics of conversation last night included my nipples and the various materials that might be used to scantily cover them for what would surely be a more provocative quiz. Suggestions are welcome. (No, Chelsea, I'm not actually going to host quiz topless. Or even in burlesque-inspired pasties. I'll leave that to Josh - his legs are better than mine anyway.)
My penchant for "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" was revealed in Round Two in an ever-so-brief departure from my usual snobbery, which was quickly squelched in Round Four when I mentioned that I'd have loved to see Dostoevsky's name spelled correctly on someone's answer sheet. I was shot down, by the way, by the superior brain of Morgan when he pointed out that, Dostoevsky being Russian, his name can really only be spelled correctly in Cyrillic. Touché. The promise of more questions about Space Jam was fulfilled in Round Seven, and I learned that anthropomorphic guinea pigs are not everyone's cup of tea. Tiny rubber pigs, on the other hand...
Next time you're at BACON and can't decide what to drink, try a Kavi's Bacon Pasty. That's a Maine Pink Drink mimosa, and it crosses out item #57 on my bucket list - get a beverage named after some slutty thing I did and/or suggested. (Again, I have not and will not host quiz topless.) Oh, and try whatever side dish JJ was eating last night, cause that shit looked awesome. Also awesome was Kavi's Delicious Bacon Pasties' near domination, which peaked at their perfect score on Round Two and stayed almost high enough to win throughout. FYI, the waitstaff team is always looking for lone players to join in their genius. And they welcome all types, just like a friendly Methodist church.
Be my friend if you aren't already, and I'll see you at Opal's Penn Field this Saturday if you're looking for a quiz to win. Tell your mom I said what's up.
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Bacon 900 W 10th St Austin, TX 78703 Wednesdays: 7:00 PM |
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Much to the delight of my many regulars of the homosexual persuasion, last night's quiz was gayer than Marcus Bachmann all curled up on the chaise with a copy of Brides. I mean, I guess we weren't really fanning the flames until about Round Six, but any evening whose soundtrack kicks off with Santigold and Pretty Girls Make Graves is kind of doomed from the start. And it was, in fact, the lady-lovers who ruled the night despite there being none on the first-place winning team. Pussy. Yeah I Said It. P-U-S-S-Y. Pussy. killed our "I Love My Dead Gay" Round (no pun intended), and you should have seen the speed with which hot bitch Sarah Frey whipped out the answer to that round's bonus question. Girl knows her late-'80s teen dramas like whoa.
Speaking of teh gayz, I know we don't have any quizzes in North Carolina, but we do have quizzers with a couple of spare dollars, I'm sure, and if you're looking for a place to put them, consider this.
All right, back to the usual filth - we learned that dubstep really is as dead as the culture-savvy among us had hoped, as the high score on Audio Round Seven was a mere four. Just in case any of us had forgotten, I threw in a little ditty to remind everyone that Skrillex used to be just some kid in eyeliner playing Warped Tour and trying to bang Kelly Osbourne. Our round on dead (but still earning) celebrities turned out to be just as much of a challenge, since it's apparently totally possible to add millions of dollars to your estate long after everyone's forgotten your first name. In fact, I doubt whether anyone but Hammerstein ever called Rodgers anything but "Rodgers."
Coolest thing I saw all night? Bonus email winner Robby P.'s sweet skin-gallery of badass tattoos. I advocated for this guy to receive a post-quiz blow job based solely on the fact that he's got a flying dinosaur inked to his chest, but I kind of doubt whether anyone obliged. (No offense, Robby. Please let me know if I'm wrong.) Besides the pterodactyl, he also sports a sugar skull-style Darth Vader popping out of a Death Star and an honest-to-goodness Golbat, which evolves from the Zubat at Level 22, on his arm. Check out the burgeoning tattoo mag at left for pictures.
I predict that next week I'll be receiving some seriously creative and/or enormous entries into the email bonus round, as the "I'm Not Gay, I Just Love Rainbows" coasters have become the most popular bonus prize to date. I thought the larger-than-life plastic scissors were pretty fucking cool. Guess I was wrong. I can't wait to see what the ladies of BACON pull out of their fanny packs in attempts to earn those coasters on Wednesday. See y'all there.