Even though I planned it so I wouldn’t have to miss a single BACON quiz, I did in fact go on vacation this weekend. Spencer and I spent six days in the northeast, generally missing cold weather and being alumni of Emerson College and seeing how they do Geekes Who Drinke in ye olde Boston. (It’s pretty much the same, only with way fewer quizzes in town and a lot more inexplicably pronounced place names. Can you say “Leominster”?) I was certainly welcomed back to Austin with a bang-up quiz last night, half of which was straight up #ows-style Occupied by a large birthday party complete with lots of very small, very screaming children. All those folks plus the non-quizzers who were just there to watch the basketball game (?) plus a glut of GWD n00bs had BACON looking so trendy it might as well have been posting a cover of that Gotye song on YouTube. Shit was poppin’.

Included amongst the BACON virgins were The Mongoloids, led by some fellow graduates of the aforementioned institution of higher learning who are still totally looking for jobs if anyone knows anything. They just barely missed out on third place, but you know, they’re new. They’ll be back. BarTay, on the other hand, squeezed into second between two teams of regulars and proved themselves to be the new reigning power couple of all BACONdom. Spencer, meanwhile, made a paper airplane. We’re all good at something.

Despite my repeated efforts to give away that damned yellow lollipop things as a bonus prize, it remains in the box from whence it came since Laney’s email answer was drawn and her much-coveted, so-not-gay rainbow coasters were chosen instead. I hope you’re grateful for those coasters when you’re sitting at home, reading this blog, desperately craving a cloyingly sweet, suggestively phallic, possible pineapple-flavored snack.

Don’t forget that the next edition of Call Kavi’s Friends is coming up soon – sign up on the Facebook page if you think you can keep a total stranger on the phone for longer than two minutes. There’s a beer (and possible some other way cool shit) in it for you. See y’all next week!

This is probably the only blog post I'll ever write the night of the quiz, while a little toasted, as opposed to the morning after the quiz, while hungover and sneaking around at work. Enjoy. I can't promise anything good, but I can tell you all about how 70-degrees-and-awesome my weekend in Boston is going to be (minus the getting to the airport at 4:30 a.m. part).

It was a wondrous night of rare occasions. We had a team o'newcomers who actually didn't get sick of my rambling profanity halfway through the quiz and stayed all the way to the end, and while they ended up in last place, they seemed to have a good time. The team that did come away with first place in addition to having my favorite team name of the night, Intra-Uterine Rube Goldberg Device, maintained a remarkably stoic countenance throughout the evening. Keeley of Something Muscular pointed out that the two members of the winning team came in with a game face on, didn't crack a grin all night and then delivered a photo pose reminiscent of the way black guys always look in their driver's license pictures. I guess taking quiz seriously is good for the gander.

Most importantly, two things:

1. Johnny Muscle has, at last, returned, and his reappearance at BACON was far more epic than anything we heard in Round Seven. I didn't understand his t-shirt, but by god, I admired his dedication. Man's worked something like nonstop this week. Still came to quiz. Deserves a beej.

2. We had a dance-off to determine third place. Delegates from Everybody Loves Pussy. Pussy! and Something Muscular cut a rug to this Sean Kingston song I used to hear all the time at the bar where I used to work, and while it may not have been impressive, it was certainly guffaw-worthy. I'll have a video for you shortly - too sleepy now. Check out the preview photo at left.

Everyone go watch some gay porn. It seems like y'all need a refresher. Or, if you'd prefer a different type of NSFW, go here and scroll down.

See y'all next week, when I return from the Beany Bean. Babaloo!

Two great things about having an intimate quiz in an intimate venue:

1. Newbies are always noticed and appreciated.

2. Bloodthirsty rivalry.

We had both in droves last night. Power couple The Corrections swooped in from out of damn nowhere and took third place and a free beer from a bonus question. And a cohort of Spencer's espresso-slingin' buddies came in for Kristen's birthday and finally decided to join the quiz during Round Seven. No doubt Dylan and JJ were grateful for the late arrival, though, as The Caffeinators' eight-point final score was the only thing keeping Morgan Can't Help Us With the Dick Questions This Week out of dead last. Guess we learned who usually brings the brains to that team. There was joyous revelry all around as membership in Team Rashers popped Spencer's first-place cherry - he stood on a table and everything. Sorry I didn't snap a picture of his adorable tuchis for you guys to ogle. Next week. Or possibly tonight, while he's sleeping.

Learned a few new things last night: It turns out paprika (the best spice) is just dried and ground-up bell peppers (the worst veg). And JJ, I've found, has bad taste in both films and music - he applauded the Round Seven clips from Clerks 2 and Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle and also tried to add Slayer and P.O.D. to my Spotify playlist. Woof. Drew won the email bonus question but refused my tantalizing offer of a kind of shapeless yellow lollipop thing that had melted partially at some point between leaving GWD headquarters in Denver and arriving at BACON. He took the porn magnets instead.

Also, in case you've been just dying to know what those animated series based on movies are all about, here's the trailer for Problem Child and the intro from Little Shop, featuring - no shit - a rapping Audrey 2. Word; Little Shop.

I just checked out the Facebook page and we've had a mad influx of Likes since last night. Thanks, y'all! Don't forget to sign up for Call Kavi's Friends, if you're brave, and find all photos/updates/my whereabouts there. See you next week!

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Darcy's Bistro & Pub - Denver 8:30 PM
• Prickly Pete's - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Whiskey Bar - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Cheeky Monk - Westminster 9:00 PM
• The Ram (Meridian) - Meridian 9:00 PM
• Lisa's Restaurant & Lounge - Augusta 7:30 PM
• Opal Divine's (Marina) - Austin 10:00 PM
• Opal Divine's (Penn Field) - Austin 10:00 PM